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3:02 PM

APRIL SPRING SKY

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

My Beloved Month of my Birth has arrived again. APRIL!
Normally I feel like Yellow when this month comes (see last year's post) but this year I just have the aching for BLUE! A lovely light fresh blue like the gorgious spring sky.
I found myself some lovely internet cakes and sugar flowers.
I'd love to get these dresses one day!

It just a refreshing color, the perfect start to a new year of renewal and figuring out things for my life.

I have my work cut out for me.  Trying to find a new job which has been tough.
Trying to sort out opening a new business and finding an investor.
Homeschooling, mommy stuff, wifey stuff, exersizing, dieting, friend stuff.
Want to get another book published this year insha'Allah.
New idea for another book plot to write in November's Nanowrimo.
Gotta just get stuff done this year and not let it pile up!
AS soon as I get a job I also wanna get rid of old things in my house like my couches and re-do them or get new ones.
Also hoping to travel to Lebanon and USA this year.  It all depends on what Allah gives me o work with this year. Insha'ALlah it will go smoothly.
I really can't beleive I've reached 27! I keep thinking really 27!?!?! Like almost 30?!?! What happened to 22? 24? oh yes, children..... hmm.... LOL!
I feel weird because I thought 24 would be my healthiest and now at 27 I'm getting much more healthy. Loosing a lot of weight and trying to keep it off.
I'm trying to reach 60kilos or under by July. Insha'Allah.
I wanna finish organizing my papers. As a writer I have boxes and boxes of papers. I decided that to get rid of them I'm going to just scan them all and save them on my external harddrive but finding time to scan has been the hard part.
Also wanna go through my closet and get rid of all those ugly enormous clothes I've had for years. Just get rid of them all and then slowly start a new collection. Much better styles now I can fit into better clothes.
Insha'Allah.
So a lot to do this month and take stock of and deal with but I'm looking forward to it. I love the number seven and I had a great year in 17...hehehe.  So enjoy this beautiful month and take stock of your own lives.
Have a slice of internet cake on me ;)
Love and Hugs!

Today I had T I M E.
That may seem odd as everyone has exactly the same amount of time.
Twenty-four hours.
But today surely Allah gave me more than them.
Even though I gained so much today I still feel I lost so much too.
Shall we start at the best place for stories to start? The begining?

I woke up startled from my sleep by two children who should not have been SO CHEERFULLY awake for children who went to bed so late .... at 6:34am this morning. My alarm hadn't even gone off I thought groggilly.  Then i remebered why i had set my alarm. I had a meeting today!
"Mama you have a meeting today!" my daughter aka mind reader, said sing-song. I hugged them because despite the odd hour they were in such great moods. My son was rolling all over my bed giggling about the silliness of life. I quickly got them up and dressed and fed them breakfast.  I was preparing their lunchbox when i realized i was tired of making them PBJsandwhiches for lunch, especailly when my son had just demanded that for breakfast while his sister ate cereal, as he doesn't drink milk. So I looked around the kitchen for something quick and edible and found NOTHING.  Nothing easy to cook either like mac and cheese. So I popped out some frozen chicken burgers and fish filets and fried them up. For "healthy" I added a large handful of baby carrots to the lunchbox.
I combed their hair and walked them upstairs to the Egyptian family babysitting them everyday.
I came down and dressed for work and thought about eating a sandwhich myself but again didn't feel like it, and certainly didn't want peanut breath for my meeting. I did notice the strange stillness and quiet to the house without the kids in it. But I was in too much of a hurry to really spend long reflecting. It was 8:20am.
I went down and waited and waited for a taxi, but luckily one came after only five minutes. I hopped in and said, "Jumairah 1, Jumairah Shopping Center". Then I sat back as he took off. I liked not having to drive for once. I could relax. I had my notebook on me and thought about writing on my Nano project. Never waste a minute when you can write....and I didn't write. I was too absorbed in enjoying the silence and calm.
We went around the huge roundabout packed long and deep with trucks and cars. I kept a side glance on the taxi meter as we stopped for another red light. Eventaully we got near the turning point to go left, he started going straight. "Left!" I cried urgently and he dutifully swerved over. As we sat at the red light i bit my lip thinking, did he know a faster way? "Is this way faster? What way you were going?" I asked finally.
"Go straight and take Shiekh Zayed over to Safa Park up to Jumairah." He replied.
"Well okay, if it's faster." I replied, I had SOME extra time, i could try a detour. So off he went the way he said he'd go. I passively watched out the window letting my mind roam as many topics as there are shiny buildings in dubai. We reached Safa Park and I noticed a Choithams, then with growing concern I saw we were only half way there and already the meter said 23.00dhs. Last time I went to Jumairah by taxi MY WAY, it only cost 23.00dhs! So I said do to the taxi driver and he got ticked off I was questioning his route. He said NO WAY I paid that much......Uh I'm not making up totals here. Just stating facts.  I tried to appease him that it didn't matter as long as we got there. No problem his way wasn't better.
Yeah.... useless to fight a man on "men's turf".  That sapped some of my morning glow and I started to feel drowsy as I just let him take me the rest of the way. I closed my eyes at red lights for a doze and glanced around when we moved to make sure we're staying on track.  Eventaully we reached Jumairah Shopping Center where Magrudy's has it's administration building.  Total was 37.00dhs. To make him pay for his bad judgement I handed him a 200DHS bill to break for me. (well ok no matter how fast he got me there that's all the cash i had) He grumbled and fumbled for change but managed to find it. Feeling better for exacting a bit of revenge, I moved onto Magrudy's.
I walked into the well decorated sitting entry room and waited to be called and again thought I should write in my Nano Book but was too keyed up and they took a while so I went in serach of the mother of a former co-worker. He was 17 and had quit his once a week job at Magrudy's to have more time for education, I wholly supported his quitting, as he's taking on like 3 majors and he NEEDED the extra time. But for 17, he had the funniest dry wit and sense of humor. I hadn't even known he was 17, he had the maturity of at least 24-26 year old person (my age).
I felt a bit daunted to go searching for some random employee but soon found her and she was ever surprised as I introduced myself and why I was there and how much i enjoyed working with her son. She couldn't quite beleive I was indeed talking about HER S O N .... I know the feeling, thats how my parents reacted sometimes when someone complimented me out of the blue... "Our daughter? You mean Brandy?" As if they HAD another daughter (they dont).... so I left feeling happy I had made someone else's day a bit more special.  By then my retail manager called me up to the meeting.
  Something I really like about Magrudy's is they don't just employ any old shmuk to work for them.  Each person is so unique and has charisma and charm and that certain sparkle in their eye that makes them stand out from the rest. My Administration Staff is no exeception. One lady I particularly get along well with as we both read personalities and try to work on meshing people together well.  So I had a fun productive meeting. It was just another moment of calm and peace as we chatted, as I mused at how far I'd come in my business life. Here I was out in the world trying to help others achieve their best.
  Afterward I headed off down the road a block to McDonalds. I was hungry and I knew their breakfast menu has the Sausage Egg McMuffin I'd missed eating since becoming Muslim in America. But here in UAE it is made from Halal CHicken which yes does taste every bit as good, if not better. I got their breakfast meal which includes coffee, as I was feeling the early hour by then. Bonus I got a free mug, YAY! Which I'd been needing to use at work for making coffee. I sat down and enjoyed the taste that took me back to many memories when i was younger. Again I wanted to write, in fact I felt the burden and obligation resting on my shoulders, but I shoved it off. It was peaceful and quiet. Slowly eating bite after bite of steamy egg, chiken, and cheese squashed between two mcMuffins. Time was just draggin by so slowly. And I was loving every second of it. But a part of me was missing sharing it with my family. My husband would love McDs in the morning, and the kids would be running around glowing in the morning sun trying to play between bites. But for now it was just me and peace and quiet....and i savored it. I spent about a half hour chilling then wondered what i should do with my day.  I could technically park myself at McDs all day writing until it was time to start my shift at work.  I could probably churn out 5,000-10,000 words in that amount of time.
   I got up and filled out a satisfied customer report adding they only needed to smile more....and left. I walked over to the bus stop and tried to figure out the map, it was hopeless. I'm good with maps but this only listed bus numbers at each stop not bus route lines so you know which way the bus goes.  I guess it would look too crowed with all those lines but still RTA needs to work on that map.  Not very user friendly.  So this Indian guy walkes into the Air Conditioned Bus Stop (Arizonians eat your heart out) and after a moment's hesitation...in which I wonder, why am I hesitating? I'm a Customer Service Executive... i chat with total strangers everyday, all day long..... I speak up.
"Do you know which bus goes to Deira City Center?"
"Yeah take the same as me C10.  But it's better if you get off early and take the metro the rest of the way, because it's faster than the long traffic the bus goes through."
"okay thanks." I reply and we continue to fill the silence with the usual conversations in DUbai, where are you from, how long you been here, what job you do?  But I was also sick of the USUAL conversations.
"Do you feel as an Indian you are treated unfairly here? Do you LIKE working here?" I asked.  Surprised at my sudden turn he gets interested.
"Well yeah, no Indian who works here REALLY likes it here. We just have to live to feed our families just like everyone else though.  So we just shut out mouth and take it in."
"Yeah it's not fair that I'm treated any different than you just because I'm white and you're darker." I sympathised. THen the bus came and we got up.  We boarded, swiping our dual use metro/bus pass.  He moved off to the back of the bus, while I stayed up front.  WHich SOUNDS very Rosa Parks-ish, but the men go to the back and WOmen have saved seats in the front, it's not segregated by COLOR. Allah Bless segregation by gender, it's so nice that there is a seat saved for you and you don't have to wait for someone to stand or ask some poor dude who'd been working hard all day to get up.
After a bunch of stops where again i wonder if i should write on the bus ride, and decline in favor of seeing the city and learning this route, a philipino lady gets on and I hear behind me her talking to some other lady who can't speak english well about Deira City Center.
I pop into the seats next to them to help.
"Go City Center?" The lady asks me.
"I'm going City Center, you go with me." I replied using lots of hand genstures.
"What's the next metro station?" I ask the philipino lady.
"Karama." she replies.
"You can go on metro?" I asked the lady not sure if she has a pass or cash for that.
"No City Center, I go City Center." She says in halting English overlayed with a thick Russian accent.
I wrack my brain to make the words come out simpler.
"You have money?" I asked wincing as it sounds like I'm asking for money to help her, but she understands me and pulls out her metro/bus card.
"You come with me okay?" I say again using hand gestures.  She nods and smiles.  She's in her late 50s and is content to watch the world go by, so I do as well for the rest of the trip til we reached the metro. I stand and wave her to follow me. She stands in a hurry.  I point at the Metro station and tell her to come on.  We get off and go upstairs and down the LOOOONG walk to the ticket station. I try a few questions in English but she doesn't understand. I shrug and we continue on.  We get through the ticket gate and go wait 5 minutes for the next train heading south to Rashidiya.  She sees the Metro Map with Deira City Center clearly shown and gets excited and sits down happily on the bench. Then pointed to the sign Rashidiya and got confused. I did a visual demonstration that Deira City center comes before Rashidiya.  THen this other guy asks me for directions to Mirdiff, "Last station Rashidiya, get off and take taxi/bus into Mirdif."
I feel like a tour guide but it's nice to help people.
 Finally the train comes and we get on. I find her the last seat and order her nicely to sit. Guys pack in all around (as I've chosen the front of the train to sit in not the women's so we can get off at City Center and up the escalaters faster.) and as we got through the next stations more seats open up but I refuse to sit in them far away from the lady, although every single guy in the carriage seemed inclined to offer me the seat. I kept pointing to the lady and saying I should stay with her.
God forbid she gets off the train at the wrong station and gets lost.  So finally we reached Deira City Center and we get off and make our way up the many escalaters to the light of day. As we reach ground level I point up at the Magrudy's window and then at my badge, "My work." I say. She makes AHA! Murmers.  i take her up the first escalater and she's determined to go off on her own but she gets lost not knowing the mall doesn't connect  to the metro entrance. You have to go to the third floor.  So I take her up and she thanks me again but looks more lost. "Sharja" she says. My heart sinks. I brought her all this way and she still wants to go further. I can't take her to Sharja. "Bus?" she asks.  Ahhhhh the bus to SHarja.  I helpfully point out the bus stations on the mall map, which unlike RTA is user firendly. She nods happily and goes off. We part ways but I see she's wondering and start moving my way to the ground floor, which happenes to be the same way as the bus station, she followed me at a long distance, as the signs clearly showed the way this time. At least I dont feel guilty leaving her lost at the top floor. That would be evil.
So it was 1pm on the nose 1:01pm as I stared at my clock. I had a few hours to kill until my shift started. I could park at a cafe and write but again... I haven't had time to mall browse by myself for a long time!!!! A LOOOONG TIME!!! I'd almost forgotten the fun of actaully going into stores you plan on buying nothing from and touching and checking out everything.  I started in of course a BOOKSTORE...okay i just can't help it I really DO love books. It's my Rival Company though so I hide my name tag under my hijab.
Yes I'm confident enough to walk around Dubai all day with Brandy pined to my shoulder. They are having a sale, it's not as good as the sale we had recently, but a discounted book is a discounted book! So I look around for my favorite authors and find Anne McCaffrey on sale. YAY!!! I find 2 books for my daughter and 2 for my son. Although I got SOOO many books (another post later) from Magrudy's sale, there hadn't been enough of my fav authored books. So leaving there I moved on to the next store. 1:10pm, what? it only took ten minutes? I was surprised.  Shopping with my friends we used to spend so much time at the mall when i was a teen. Though I was with them and we needed time for talking and opinionating everything, now i was alone. So in silence I shopped. Or window shopped. Checking out clothes that were rediculously fancy and sizes so small I actaully saw one dress my six year old daughter would have trouble shimmying into.  I was tempted to ask the sales lady if anyone had ever actaully fitted into the dress but didn't want to get laughed out of the store, sooo I smirked to myself and walked away.  Shop after shop it was just rediculously fun and peaceful. I learned FULL HD TVs are absolutly stunning and yes I do want one in the future when i can save up for one. About clothes though, shopping for them puts you in two frames of mind... I'm gonna work my butt off to fit in that skin-tight dress ...or... that's so depressingly small I'll never even fit my toe in it...  I felt like both off and on and was further discouraged by how many outfits I didn't even like! Did no shop have my style or fashion? It was disconcerting.... the ones i did like fell under can't fit my toe category.  But it was fun searching for my never ending quest to find a Purse that screams ME! I want red, bright or dark, shiny, with pockets and gold touches. I've never found it. Nothing in dozens of shops screamed to me, this is your dream purse. Same went for abayas. Nothing with thin red trim and no flashy sparkles.... i got frustrated so much I got a bit mean, in the last shop instead of browsing i just asked the poor guy, "DO you have red abaya?"
 "No, Black abaya."
 "No I want red trimmed abaya?"
 "Red?"
 "R E D"
 "Red?"
"R   E     D !!" I enounciated.
 "Red!" he said... 
"Yes Red Trim..."
 "Trim?"
 I had had it. i walked out even as he suddenly grasped the concept.  I felt bad being mean to him. It probably wasn't his fault his ENglish sucked but I was pissed, he didn't even learn the lingo of his trade, at least basic colors!!! I checked out perfume shops next to chill myself out. They had some pretty small bottles in pretty jewel colors for only 20 dhs. I wanted to smell some to calm myself but the sales guy looked pushy and I didn't want another encounter and wasn't planning to buy anyways so left there too.
My last shop filled me back with the calm I had had earlier. A shop with crystal nicknacks, and collectable porcelin dolls and bling bling jewelry full of crystals. But the best thing they had were CARNIVAL MASKS FROM VENICE!!!!  Anyone who really KNOWS me knows I love masks.  I stared at the empty faces and zoned out on the swirls of colors.  One red and gold one almost had me weeping, until the sales lady was trying to push too much (hello that price tag does say 1,300DHS ON SALE).  I made my way back to work.  I'd gotten a fresh perspective on Customer Service in the dozens of shops i visited.  Greet, Offer Help, Help or get out of their way, AND DONT HOVER!!!
I started my shift feeling so calm and fabulous. I hadn't writen hardly a single word of my story, but I had learned so much, about myself and the world.  It's so good to help other people. It's so good to be kind to yourself. We had a new demo product of Leap Frog Junior and I helped everyone learn about it and then took it to customers and quickly managed to sell one of the other Leap Frog products. Guy needed a present for his daughter, who happened to be in that age category. Another Customer helped.
 I made that my goal to help as many as I could. Even the guy who came with a list of books he wanted to get from our competetor downstairs and was trying to see if we had better prices. I gladly helped him figure out how to save the most money, as I wasn't allowed to give him bigger discount. And I had used them to save money too so why shouldn't he? My favorite customer though was a man needing a relationship book because he was late getting home to his wife. I offered him The Surrendered Wife (which I highly reccomend and will be blogging about later) and outlined the book for him. He was just so surprised and amazed by the info. It was fun to help him. I wish him a happy marriage.
We have a lot of new staff, because we had a major staff shuffle so I tried hard to also get closer to them. Let them see me and understand me better.  The team is getting stronger and that is awesome to work with.
Finally it was time to go home. I braved the battle of Thursday night rush hour at Carrefour to buy diapers then hightailed it back to the metro to get home. I could have wrote on the metro home and racked up another 800 words.... but why break the tradition I'd had all day?  I opened my Anne McCaffrey book and got so absorbed I looked up just in time to see we had reached my stop and i almost missed it. I jumped off the metro and made my way out. I had to wait an aweful 15 minutes for a taxi. There was another lady who came up after me waiting too and I was nervous to ask her if we were going the same way and wanted to share a taxi (so we wouldn't have to wait longer). But I felt shy and nervous.. until again I remebered what my job is.... "What way are you headed?" I asked.  "Oh, no, I'm waiting for my husband." She smiled. Ahhh... see now I learned she's not taxi-grabbing-competition. I smiled back. Her husband got her and I waited for another 5 minutes.  The taxi drive home was the final point of the night. His driving was bold, assertive, a little wild (when he missed the wrong turn and had to back up), just like my driving, so I knew I was in safe hands. He was blasting Indian Pop-Rock. Not the high pitched normal indian music, real awesome stuff all in Indian Language.  I melted back in the seat and just chilled all the way home.  "Cool music." I said as I paid swiftly and got out. I then waited calmly while he flipped a fast dangerous u-turn where had I been walking I would have been flattened by my own driver, and sped off into the night.  I went upstairs and found my family in bed fast asleep.
I had TIME for Soooo much today. I accomplished soo much and helped so many poeple and discovered so much about myself and others.....................

.........................Yet there lay the three most precious people I didn't have time for.

Here's 10 honest things you never knew about me...
Tagged by Minty from blog Married1234/Polygamy is it then?







1. I always knew I'd marry someone from the Mediterranean Sea area. I used to figure Spaniard or Italian man, heck even Greek, never figured I'd marry a Lebanese, but so glad I did.


2. I dream of seeing some part of the Arctic Sea from a European Country/Canada/Alaska/Greenland.




3. My heart is nomadic. I could totally live the gypsy/bedouin/sailor/world traveller's life. In fact I vote it should be an International Right that as we only have one life on this world we should be allowed to see it all. This is my ultimate dream in this life.



4. I want to be as famous an Author as J.K. Rowling and Danielle Steele. I wanna be on the front of a publication saying "Follow your dreams, they do come true."




5. I see myself as a person of many talents like a Renaissance Man, I try my hand at everything and see what pops up as roses and what pops up as weeds. If you're afraid to plant the seed or get your hands dirty you'll never find out what you can become.




6. I hate it when mothers say their children are boring to be with. I find it fascinating that every second they are learning something new that will effect their lives. That said, is it TRYING on the nerves to read Goodnight Moon for the 400th time in a row going on 237 days now.... or singing Wheels on the Bus repetitively with the same enthusiasm on the 400th song as you had on the 1st........ hehehe.... but worth it in the end when they finally say Goodnight or show the action for the Granny knitting on the bus....

7. I used to use barney targets at the shooting range with my family. Now you can hear me nearly daily saying "Hey Kids, Look Barney's on!!! YAY!!!!" So shooting Barney in the future will be a Crime Punishable by Death. The panel of Judges will be my children....
Presenting the Honorable Judge Mustapha-Lawrence


8. Johnny Depp is my favorite actor EVER. Seriously, not as in a crush. He's Brilliant! He's not afraid to be different where the world seems to seek "type casts" He always does the unusual and excels. No one will ever think of Pirates the same way without thinking of his role as the quirky Jack Sparrow. And you all KNOW how much I love Pirates... BUT..... My favorite role of his was that of Author James Barry in Finding Neverland..... which leads to the next ......



9. I HAVE a Neverland. I go there often. No one has ever joined me.... I doubt they ever will...









10. I love Masks. I think they are classically beautiful and there are nearly endless variations.
*11 BONUS: I have 160 e-mails waiting in my inbox waiting to be added to my All Muslimah Blog Directory.... the guilt eats away at me every day.... I promise I'm getting to you...


That is me

I tag:
Aalia
Pixie
Safiyyah
Hebayeb
and...
muahahaha
ALL the Bloggers from ALL MUSLIMAH BLOG DIRECTORY....
(*ahem* and those waiting to be added to the list....)

11:31 AM

Hate Nail Polish but LOVE IT?

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

So we all love Nail Polish and yet we hate it because we know only an hour after applying it (depending on time of application) we will have to take it off to make wudu and pray.
Polish is a barrier that prevents water from touching the WHOLE of the nail. It is not valid to only take off one little chip in the corner and call that letting water reach the nail. it must reach the WHOLE nail. Even on the edge by the skin where it is hard to remove the polish.
I spotted Muslimah2Muslimahs Post about Nail Polish Dye and that got me thinking about a way to just peel off the poish when you want to make wudu. When I was a kid I had this barbie or something nail polish that just peeled off. Me and Nicolette used to just paint and peel and paint and peel over and over again. But so I wondered if they had it in other colores besides candy red. I found this website Honey Bee Gardens All Natural Products. They have a peel off nail polish that might be benefitial to stock up on. Next time you wanna go glam you can do so then when making wudu just peel it off throw it away and wash up. They come off with soap and water too so while you make wudu if some parts don't peel fully it will go away anyways. It's water soluable. $5.99 per bottle and they have 6 colors so far. Awesome Products for Muslims!

10:00 AM

The Mop Abaya

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |


Tripping up steps...
Stepping on the front edge and ripping the velco closures open...
Rolling the grocery cart over the edge and jamming the cart...
Kids stepping on it and tripping me...

This is my reality with the abaya. I love my abaya and I beleive in wearing the abaya to cover the awrah but I agree that the style can be varied.

In Lebanon the trend is to wear the abaya exactly at ankle length. To wear it longer than that is "HARAM!" and you will get looks and clucks of disproval. I have seen some women wearing it at mid calf even but when I tried to wear my short abaya at knee length it was promptly removed from my closet by my mother-in-law as a disgrace. The norm is a full length button down abaya usually having pockets (alhamdulliah) and sometimes collars and shoulder-pad (which I removed). I use the word "trend" because it is not fully an islamic adhearance. But having not known anything different and the whole country pretty much like this you just start to follow -blindly. They follow the rule that to drag one's clothes is haram because of arrogence. So those who drag are seen as arrogent and they justify this further by pointing at their wealthier sisters from the gulf who drag and can afford to buy new abayas if theirs get too dirty or ripped. Normally under this ankle length abaya is a long skirt (ankle length too and not showing too much under the abaya hem --now now ladies be proper!) and under that some bloomer style pants going to just below the knee or also down to the ankle. They then stuff the bottoms of these bloomers into their knee-high stockings or socks to keep them from view. The result is visably stocking ankles and then shoes. The stockings get me rilled up because some women wear beige which is the same color as their skin or so sheer you can tell their skin color under them...both of which don't adhere to islamic womens dress code of covering skin color. So this is Lebanon.
Now imagine my disgust and my nose sticking up in the air (just a bit!) at coming to U.A.E. and seeing hems all over the place from ankle length (Lebanese, Syrian, Egyptians) to almost bridal train length. Black cloth mopping the floors as they go. I watched them stunned, their dresses didn't get sucked into the esscalators and they glided off. I thought them arrogent and stupid for dragging perfectly good abayas all over the filthy ground. My mother-in-law would tsk til she's blue in the face. (umm and she did when she came here.)

Then researching for this post (where I planned to slam these arrogent gulf sisters for dragging) it took me 5 google tries before I came up with a fatwa about abaya length and I was shocked but the back of my mind always knew this to be right.
It says from a hadith that an abaya should not only be long and trailing but it must be so to cover the feet completly. I was naturally just stunned. Yet again I felt this to be right. I always wore black thick socks so no one could see my stockinged feet.
___________________________

Here is the article with the hadith for your own viewing:
Ruling On Women Clothing

Islamic Article
Written by Muhammad Taftazani
Saturday, 05 April 2008
Trailing the Hem of a Garment for a Woman Hadeeth No. 460 from Silsilah Ahadeeth as-Saheehah By the Muhadith, Allama, Ash-Shaykh Muhammad Nasir ud-Deen al-Albaani
"On the authority of Umm Salamah : that when the Messenger of Allaah -SallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – said what he said about trailing the hem of a garment for the woman.
Umm Salamah mentions: then I asked: O Messenger of Allaah! How should we trail the hem of a garment? He said: Trail it by a hand span. Umm Salamah said: But the feet become uncovered! Then he said: Then trail it a forearms length."
I (al-Albaani) say: In this hadeeth there is a proof showing that the feet of a woman are 'Awrah (i.e. those parts of the body that must be covered) and this was a matter that was well known amongst the women at the time of the Prophet sall'Allaahu alayhi wasallam.
Since, when the Prophet said: 'Trail it by a hand span,' Umm Salaamah said: "Then the feet become uncovered" and from this, one feels that she knew that the feet are from the 'Awrah. It is not permissible to uncover them and the Prophet - SallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam - reaffirmed that for her and that is why he commanded her to trail her garment a forearm's length.
In the Noble Qur'aan there is a reference to this fact and that is the saying of Allaah Ta'aala: ((And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment )) Soorah Noor: 31
Shaykh al-Albaani was asked a question regarding trailing the hem of the Hijaab for the woman: "Is it a condition that it should trail by a hand span or a forearm's length?"
The shaykh answered by saying: "This condition is if the clothing of a woman was like the clothing of the women in the past, i.e. because the women before used to only wear a Kamees (long dress) i.e. like a thobe. This means they did not wear a sirwaal (like pyjamas) nor socks, nor anything that would cover her shins nor her feet, except this long kamees which used to be dragged along the floor, which is generally known as the Abaya. Nowadays if a woman wears socks or perhaps a long sirwaal, even though this is not common, then it is sufficient for the jilbaab to cover the top of her feet. It is not necessary for the hem of the garment to be dragging along the floor except in the situation when she cannot find, from her clothing, the likes of a sirwaal or socks etc. because, verily the Messenger - alayhis sallam- ordered her to lengthen her garment fearing that anything of the 'Awrah of her feet or shins be uncovered. So, if they are covered with clothing or socks and over the top of them is the long Jilbaab then it is not necessary, in this situation, for the hem of the garment to be dragging along the floor.
Questioner: May Allaah reward you The Shaykh: May Allaah preserve you. Questioner: So it is understood from your speech, that there is no problem if the shoes become uncovered or some of the socks are shown? The Shaykh: No, I said to you that the Jilbaab should cover the top of the feet. Then you also mentioned shoes, the condition for the shoes is that they shouldn't be decorated, because nowadays most women's shoes are decorated. Questioner: May Allaah reward you The Shaykh: May Allaah preserve you. Taken from 'silsilat Huda wa noor' - tape no. 565 at 21.49 mins.
All Praise belongs to Allaah, may His peace and blessings be upon our final Prophet Muhammad, his family, his companions and all those who follow his guidance. Translated by Fahrat Abass Abu Yahya
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So by all this we can see that covering the ankles AND FEET is required for women. This also explains more to me why my Emeratian friend in Dubai told me they are taught from very young to consider the ankles as something "Ay'b" so show even among other women. I now have lost my arrogent thoughts that these floor moppers were doing something "HARAM" and have now feel duely educated that I and indeed Lebanon are in the wrong. Yet as this shiekh points out wearing socks and shoes that cover properly are sufficiant too yet the hadith says to lengthen the garment. To Lebanon's defence though you do NOT want to be draggin' your hems down Lebanon's dirty sidewalks, especially on a rainy day, ESPECIALLY in the poorer sections of the country like SABRA MARKET where filth and old blood from butchers and only Allah knows what kind of najasa (impurities) are on the streets. I don't even like my shoes to touch the ground there much less drag my dress which I will later pray in.

Which leads me to my next question: If you are dragging to follow the sunnah how do you know when you are praying that there is not filth on your abaya which invalidates your prayers?

Question2: If you are not wearing socks then how can you lift up your abaya to walk up stairs without men seeing your awrah?


So although now my opinion has changed alhamdulliah, still, I trip with ankle length abayas, I would be a walking disaster if I dragged my mop.

I have always wanted to wear niqab since I became Muslim. I always saw niqab in new movies like Mummy (i know it's not real niqab now but then I didn't) and old movies where Spaniard Ladies would have their hair covered with a light veil (lace edged of course) and sometimes when the gentleman comes to serenade her she would delicately lift the edge of the veil to cover half her face..... thus he cannot see her blush nor her secretly pleased smile. There was always an aura of mystery about it. You don't know what a niqabi is really thinking. True wearing niqab islamic style has nothing really to do with just culture or just delicate laced modesty. Wearing the niqab for some is a big deal. I'm one of those people.


I feel it is the next natural step in the chain of proper modesty. Niqab can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. For some a way to further the idea that they don't need to be judged by their looks but by what they say and do. Others wear it solely for the reward of doing sunnah. Some hate it and don't see why anyone would want to wear something so suffocating. Some view it as mysterious and like to use it as a way to flirt discreetly. Some try it out for a while and leave it others fight hard to keep jobs and wear it. Some wonder if the woman covers her face for extreme beauty or extreme ugliness.

No matter how you view the niqab it IS a part of Islam and many do choose to wear it. I had the opportunity three months before I came to UAE to wear it in Lebanon. I decided khalas this is it! I'm putting it! Iwent to a shop and tried them on and it felt wonderful. A proper niqab. In AZ on a bus sometimes if i felt uncomfortable by the stares of the other passengers i'd flip my hijab's tails to cover my face and surprisingly got less stares and i felt less uncomfortable. So i bought two niqabs and later was given a third by my husband's paternal aunt who has two niqabi daughters. At this time I had newly become pregnant with my second and also my husband and I began having many fights at this time. I was relieved to cover my face when i was angry and didn't want him to see my looks. We grew even further apart though because he couldn't see my rare smiles. He didn't want me to wear niqab since he liked my face and wanted to see it while we were out and about. But he didn't stand in my way and forbid it.


All my Lebanese in-laws had to get used to me being in it and I had to get used to it. It was a little bit harder to get fresh air. It was a struggle to eat anything liquidy like soups or anything messy and not get it all over the inside of the niqab. I wore it beginning in Ramadan and so we had a lot of feast of course and so each meal was very difficult. Also I had to stop being so loud and laughing like a hyena at anything remotely funny. I learned to cast my eyes down more since that is all a man could see of me now. Because I wore glasses I attracted more than a second glance and then people saw the blue eyes behind the glasses and started wondering. Sometimes at the ramadan parties I was shown off a little bit -Oh masha'Allah look at this AMERICAN wearing niqab. Like they had received a better in-law because I wore niqab when many american's don't even wear hijab -in Lebanon.


My daughter got used to it easily. SHe only tried pulling it off a couple of times before she got the hang of it. But unfortionatly it couldn't last. I was getting nauseous from pregnancy and needed more air to breathe properly. SO I took it off with the excuse of the doctor's saying I needed to breath better for the sake of my baby so people wouldn't trash talk me behind my back with the family about me taking it off. Surprisingly my husband and my fights lessened because now he could see my smiles and since he liked looking at my face it calmed him down more. weird effect but ok. SO I was disappointed but still happy I got to try it.


The other day I was looking for a new hijab to wear and was rummaging my hijab bag and ran across my niqabs. I smiled fondly and tentatively held it up to my face. My daughter laughed and wanted to try it on too. I let her and she played with it in the mirror. "Can I wear this to the mall?" She asked. I imagined the looks I'd get for having my 3year old in niqab and laughed. "Maybe you can't wear it." I replied. "But you can?" she asked. I thought about that. True nothing was really stopping me from wearing it now. "Sure!" I told her and ironed a beautiful light blue flower print hijab and my black niqab.


Now some people believe you can't wear bright colored hijabs with niqab but i'm not one of those people. But I did want to test the reactions to it. SO I wore it to the mall. It felt nice and secure and I noticed a lot more people really outright ignored me. I even tried to nod/smile to the other niqabis but they ignored me too. The funniest situation was when i was checking out baby clothes at the BabyShop and this family was carefully avoiding me. I'd move nearer to them and they'd move away. The woman wasn't wearing hijab so I thought maybe she was just unomfortable about it but then I tried an emeratian family some who were wearing niqab and they avoided me too maybe because of my weird fashion sense? Later it was time to meet my husband for dinner and I was apprehensive on two counts, my husband's reaction seeing me in niqab again and eating in niqab again. SO I went to the restrrom and in the stall changed my kids clothes and took them potty and diaper tie and all that then took off the niqab. *GASP* yes i took it off. I didn't want to ruin my night by having a row with my husband. When i got into the elevator I think an emeratian lady recognised my hijab colors and the same two cute little kids that were previously with the niqabi and she began whispering furtively to her friend, obviously about me. I told my husband I wore it and he was like "WHAT? Well I'm glad you took it off." I was disappointed because I do love to wear niqab I just wish i could flip it up for eating and being around my husband.....


I want to wear niqab like only half the time but I know that isn't a good thing to do especially when a lot of people know me at AL-Ain Mall. One day they'd see me in niqab and the other day not....yeah it would be confusing. By the way I do know it's best to wear it only for the sake of Allah. I just hope one day i can wear it all the time. The funniest part though was my son's reaction to it hehehe. He kept lookig into my eyes to make sure it was really me there.

12:10 AM

Why didn't I learn Social Graces?

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

I've always yearned to be a LADY. A proper, sophisticated, well groomed, well mannered, graceful Lady. Who's skin is always in top condition and clothes are elegant yet modest. I've searched far and wide for this "inner me". Through clothing changes, Renaissance re-enactment in the SCA, and religious change into Islam. Finally in Islam I received my answer. I already embody this Lady in my heart. Now just conforming my outside appearance would be more challenging. Obviously though the abaya it is elegant and modest and if you add the lovely black gloves it is indeed sophisticated. Hijabs of all styles allow one to be modest and still fashionable.
So OK I have the clothes and the heart. What about the graces and manners? Islam teaches the best of manners for sure and I strive to follow them. Graces?
AHHHH here is the crux of the matter! We as young girls in America don't really learn these social graces as formal education anymore. It's too 50's-ish. Feminist says we must BE men Equal in every way. So I never learned to walk gracefully balancing a book on my head etc.. I never got to learn how to primp to look best for one's husband. (I'm not talking make-up and teddies ladies....) No one ever taught me to do all these feminine things!!! I'm not talking about being able to excite a man I'm talking about being a graceful LADY. Grace and poise, grace and poise! No one taught me how best to set a formal table or which fork or spoon comes first. I was envious in the movie "Mona Lisa Smile" the Etiquette class they had.
My brother-in-law's wife is the most graceful person I've ever met. She wastes no movement as she glides (not walks). Her gestures are simple and elegant and even wearing sports clothing she exudes grace and poise. I watch her in awe. Her mother has that same grace as does her brother (but in a manly way). I wonder if it's genetic or they learned from their mother.
How does one learn grace? Why aren't we taught in school or by our mothers how to be WOMEN!!!! The ART of being a WOMAN!!! Why can't they teach us? You see these politicians wives at the sides of their husbands exuding grace and poise and the sense of everyone knowing she has a lot of control BUT SECRETLY! Where did they get it from! Where can I get it? I've read hundreds of Historical Romance books longing for the social graces they exude.

In school you are either in the popular crowd where the more flesh you show the better you get noticed or you're in the out crowd which develops your personality cause you can't make it physically. Well I fully admit it I was in the out crowd I was the FAT GIRL in school who
was made fun of. How can you learn grace if you're constantly being told you're not good enough?

I'm not graceful or elegant....*munch munch munch* !Weight goes up! People
laugh.... strive again to dance with grace but once again people laugh at the fat ballerina..... *munch munch munch* !Weight goes up! ITS A VICIOUS CYCLE!

I didn't have the option of taking home EC in school so I don't know if you learn something useful in there like how to be a good housewife and be graceful but I sure wish there was a class in this.

Why is America against bringing up good housewives and good graceful women who can teach their daughters and sons a good way to move about the earth? Sometimes I feel like a clumsy ox lumbering around my house especially when i run. I want to soar like an eagle majestic not putter like a car on empty. I know I have graceful movement sometimes and I strive to use them more but it's not learnEd so how can one teach oneself? I'm angry at America. I'm angry at feminist that don't want me to be graceful at my husband's side supporting him with my silent strength as good women can.

Now I'm all for the betterment of womankind but can't we keep our gracefulness? I want to be a LADY!

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