Followers

7:36 AM

Remember Remember November

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , ,

How could I get this month out of my head?


It seems like October doesn't even exist. It is some transport time of waiting from the interesting month of September to the bliss of November.



I had plans for November
I had dreams.



And they've all been shattered, quite efficiently and brutally.



It was actually the Front Receptionist Security/Military Man at the Jaflia Immigration, Building 15, who was the sign that things were about to turn. The way he double blinked at my daughter's papers. The way he frowned. The furtive whispers between other deck-out-in-military-regalia-men about the problem.

And finally the verdict:



"Sheikh Muhammad has stopped all reductions on Visit Visa Violation Payments."



Those words just ripped through me. WHAT the WHATY WHAT WHAT W H A T ?!?!?!?!?



The tears started flowing and as we stepped outside to face our disappointment I couldn't accept the cold words so carelessly tossed. Blubbering tears and sniffling desperately I turned back in and begged them that there must be some way. ANY way to reduce the amount. There-in lies the beauty of Emirates and being a woman here, especially a Muslim Woman. In a flash I had three high officials swarming us wondering why I was upset and crying. They had a debate about my daughter's papers and decided I might have a chance by talking to upper management or something. We made the rounds at least four times between different sections, no one wanting to take responsibility for helping us. *Such a lovely feeling really* finally we ended back up at Building 15 and pleading again that we've been everywhere and they just send us back here.

Finally this man who so coldly shattered my dreams took the papers to some high officials a few tables down and disappeared into a back office.



Our problem without too much detail: My daughter is 1 year and 7 months over her visit visa stay. AKA Illegal Immigrant. How this happened? When my husband and I didn't have jobs we couldn't afford to pop over the border and get new visit visas monthly, much less paying for a new residency visa. We were too busy just keeping food in the kid's mouths. SO here we are: I wanted to travel to USA to see my family in November. I had this beautiful vacation planned out.......



Arrive in California, parents pick me up in a happy reunion, (as I haven't seen them for 5 years and my father hasn't met my son) we stay in an inexpensive hotel and spend a few days at Disneyland giving the kids the vacation of THEIR dreams. Then return to Tucson, where I see my friends of old, my grandfather and family. I go bowling, I drink American American-Coffee, and I walk the old malls from my youth (turning heads in my “foreign garb”. Most important I have Thanksgiving with my extended family and my kids get to meet their cousins from my side of the family. Also I wanted to get back in touch with my siblings.

And eggnog, glorious glorious eggnog in the chill of November....*sigh*



It all hung on getting my daughter's visa sorted and paid off because she can't leave the country until it's paid. And I can't leave her here and go on my own.

So here we are waiting for the final answer from the Immigration.

The door opens and the man returns:
.....
.......
.....
.......
.....
.......
.....
...
..
.
"We've reduced the fine from 60,000 dhs to 27,500 dhs. You pay it or you take your daughter to be banned for one year." He said giving back our papers with a small ripped scrap of paper written 27,500 on it. I begged him again, there must be something!!!! I was thinking it was at 13,000dhs and needed it reduced to like 4,000. Here it was a staggering 60K!!!!!

There is nothing he can do. So we left.

I had to go directly from that emotional disappointment to teaching happily with fun energy and it was all I could do to not break down and cry in front of my students.

Now we are working on different options to get it reduced. Talking to Locals that might know a way through Immigration better than us. Other than that finding someone to loan us 17,500dhs and I pay it back monthly through my Salary.



*sigh* what a mess. Otherwise we are just to go on how we have been with her illegal until we can get that amount saved up.

______________________________________________________________________



Also in late October and November I wanted to move out of my apartment. It’s the only way we WILL ever be able to save. So I've been looking but everywhere wants the payment in 4-6 checks and high upfront costs. I found a lovely little place that is stuck in my heart and I'm dying to move there but it'll cost a nice 11,000dhs to move in (plus 2,000 to MOVE). So how the heck can I manage that or the first Immigration problem? Seems like I'm destined to be stuck where I am for November.

I love this place I found, included swimming pools, with a children's pool, children's play area, grass lawns, gym, security, and best the apartment Ii want has bathTUBS!!! and it faces the playground. I can sit in my house and see them play. Who wouldn't love that? *SIGH* eleven-friggin-thousand dirhams between me and bliss...........



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I have a goal, a large goal, and enormous monstrous goal ahead of me in November though now. I made it a few days ago on my 9th Wedding Anniversary (October 13th). I will go from my current "official*" weight to 66.5kilos by December 1st, 2011. I've been stuck in the low 70's for sooo long now I need to kick start it down. I've been changing my clothes and my hair and a lot of things about myself and my husband and kids are loving the new me, but I'm not loving all myself as my weight still isn't the healthier me I want.

So that is my huge goal I set for myself. Insha'Allah make strong dua for me to make it.

________________________________________________________________________


Can you believe in the craziness above I also remembered it is National Novel Writing Month in November. I have already signed up and will be battling time and wordcounts again to reach 50,000words at the end of November. So gain words, lose weight.

_________________________________________________________________________


SOOOOOOOOO that is my update as many friends have pondered if I've fallen off the face of the earth.

Love ya, update you again later :D




intelligent thoughts (5)

1:21 PM

Searching wondering deep thinking

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Salam Everyone out there.


Today subjects: Blogging, Jobs, Male Friends, Family Time, and UAE Culture.

It's hard to believe I was a "post a day" Blogger at one point! Where does time go? I still love the blogs and although I rarely get a chance to read any I love seeing new sisters starting up theirs and connecting with others. I'm really gonna have to sacrifice a night or two of sleep and add the rest of the Sister's blogs they've been requesting onto my Blog Directory http://www.allmuslimah.blogspot.com/ because I know how much benefit I gained in my life from Blogging. I want other sisters to gain the same. New friends, new ideas, a place to vent, and more importantly to learn. Also to keep your iman up. Sometimes when you're lonely and you feel there are no Sisters out there who are sharing what you feel you only have to search for a relevant blog and I'm sure there will be dozens facing the same issue as you.

I'm happy I've gotten this month of March to refocus what I want in life and to have more time with my kids. It was seriously depressing having to leave them daily for work. When taking care of the Mother and Baby Books section at Magrudy's I'd seriously get into a mental funk wishing to be with my kids. I would literally have to stop organizing half way through and go walk around the store for a while or text my husband how I felt. He was very supportive and always encouraging me that my sacrifice for our family would be rewarded by Allah SWT.

Am I happy I lost my job though? No. I enjoyed seeing new people and learning new things everyday as I browsed the books. I enjoyed helping people. Plus the job search going on now at home is daunting and annoying. Just when I think an interview went well and I'm sure to be a shoe-in, they never call back or they email me the position has been filled. Obviously not by me. UGH! Oh well...! But as I said many times I made Dua for this chance and Allah has given it to me. Be careful what you ask for does apply here. I do have the chance to explore new options and new fields I might be good at but on the other hand I'm disappointed when they don’t materialize.

I've received counsel about my huge Masjid-Humanitarian idea. Although the source of that counsel is a confusing person who seems to have two faces.....I did take his words and used my personal indicator of truth to figure things out. Now is not the time for it. and The Govt. won’t be very supportive. So I've had to move to Plan C. (Plan A: JOB, Plan B: Masjid). Open my own viable company and raise awareness and do good through that and earn enough money to start up my own humanitarian efforts.

Working at Magrudy's also taught me something that has serious made me think deeply: Can men and women really be friends in Islam?

I had many GOOD Muslim Male co-workers. They were polite and respectful to me. But they were also fun, funny (yes there is a distinction), likable people. Their worldly concerns I gave my advice to. I would look forward to seeing them everyday from the tediousness of the job. When transferred from City Center to Ibn Batutta I was glad one of "guys" was transferred with me. And at Ibn Batutta I met more "guys" who I got along well with. But as a strong Muslim I do agree that men and women shouldn't be close friends as it can make fertile grounds for problems in the relationship. I do keep myself mostly a little distant from them. Try to advise like a Sister or Mother would. When joking stay away from Haram topics or lewd jokes that I might talk about with my GIRL friends. Keep my distance and maintain my rule of no physical contact. I never have shook their hands and I was very careful never to bump into them even by accident. They too respected the boundaries and encouraged me to always be a good muslimah and reminded me of praying times and made sure I had an adequate place to pray from the eyes of strangers or anyone. They watched over me like a Brother or Uncle would. Not having Islamic Brothers or Uncles it was nice. So I've come to regard them in my heart not as co-workers but actually as friends. Friends I have to maintain a strict code with, but still friends. A friend is someone you care about what is happening in their life and how their life is going. A co-worker or an acquaintance is someone you just see during working hours and go home and don’t think about them again. When I go home I still think about them and hope they are doing alright and make dua for them. Having pure intentions and a pure heart makes this kind of relationship possible. Perhaps this is what they call a Business Friendship? A friendship with rules? I'm not sure and it's a strange feeling for sure. I don’t recommend it for any guy girl relationship but both parties have to be respectful of Islamic Laws and not compromise that in any way.

I'm working on the Business Plan of my new Business Idea which is a Luxury Cafe. I have chosen my key staff from the friends I have made during work, both male and female. I have assessed their personalities and work ethics and have chosen them for specific positions based on their talents not just that they are my friends. So now I'm in the position of having not only them again as my co-workers and Business Friends, but as my Employees, which creates another dimension to the relationship where I will have to have another set of rules to govern all behavior. But so far it has been interesting having Business Meetings with them and seeing their new talents emerge and trying to let them have enough freedom in their roles to build the Company but not too much to have 5 or 6 Directors.

Having an open honest policy Rule helps. I don’t want there to be a secretive atmosphere where everyone is walking on eggshells never knowing what comes next. Companies like that never thrive. We know each other’s salaries and all have the goal of making the company achieve using our best assets. It has been fun and exciting to plan it all out and their ideas are supporting mine and subhanAllah its turning out a great idea. Meanwhile in case this doesn't work we are all still trying to get regular jobs. But we are closer and closer every few days to getting things in order. We've organized most of the basic Plan and are now looking at locations and then it will be time for involving an investor. I'm hoping to find a Lady Investor because I want to promote Women Business Goals. She wouldn't have to do too much either and would still get a large profit since we already have a full team. Insha'Allah, Make du'a for us.

On another note one of the places I had an interview at is The Sheikh Mohammed Centre for Cultural Understanding: "is a non-profit organization established to increase awareness and understanding between the various cultures that live in Dubai. Operating under the banner of “Open Doors, Open Minds” the SMCCU strives to remove barriers between people of different nationalities and raise awareness of the local culture, customs and religion of the United Arab Emirates."

They are the ones who run the Tour at Jumeirah Mosque for Non-Muslims to learn about Islam and the Mosque. Also they have Cultural Breakfast, Lunches, and Private Meals to teach the Culture of UAE for those wishing to learn. As an interviewee I was invited to attend these events and it was amazing really how open tourists and Non-Muslims were to learning Islam and UAE Culture. Another Interviewee who I became good friends with, a German Muslimah, also attended and afterwards we were asked many questions by the tourists. It was fun being able to inform them and change misconceptions in a friendly way. The tourists were also excited to be able to have access to Muslims and be able to openly talk to them without stigma of seeming stupid or ignorant. I like their Open Door, Open Minds Policy. It really benefits both sides. Even if they don’t need me in the job I'm still going to fully support their organization. I suggest you check it out too. (I'll be adding a permanent link in my sidebar later). UAE has such a rich culture and is full of interesting customs and tidbits that NOT learning about them is such a loss. Insha'Allah more people will benefit.

Now for the next week I'll be wondering what Allah Wills for my life. My family cannot survive without me having some kind of pay soon so I hope He brings it swiftly enough. As HE is ALLAH, He knows how long I can live without money, but we still must make du'a for an opportunity to come and not just sit on our bums waiting for it.

Until next update I wish everyone out there health and happiness.
Pray for the troubled regions in the Middle Eat and the People of Japan.

intelligent thoughts (7)

9:34 AM

BURJ DUBAI KHALIFA

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This past weekend I actaully spent the whole day feeling like I was being partially brainwashed except I liked it.



The opening and commemoration of the World's Tallest Tower happened on January 4th.  The event took place on the same day as the aniversary of His Highness Sheikh Mohammad bin Rashid Al Maktoum taking assenssion to the Throne as Dubai's ruler 4 years ago.


To celebrate this mighty occassion they spent the entire day from sun up til probably about midnight on all local Dubai TV channels covering different aspects of the day and how the Burj Dubai was built. Inbetween talking about the Burj there was extensive coverage of the Sheikh himself. How he helps humanity and how humble he is to even sit on the bare dirt while speaking to an Elderly Emirati man who is also just sitting on dirt.  He built the man a brand new house and a whole community of houses in four months.  Masha'Allah.  He enjoys supporting the sports and camel and horse racing events.  BUT my particular favoritism for this man has to do with his involvement in the Literary world.  He largely supports Poetry and Literature.  His foundation has made the goal to translate 1,000 novels into Arabic language in the next three years, more than one novel translated in a day.  That is pretty awesome!  He is a poet himself and always attends literature events.  Now I'm not all googly eyed or anything like that as I'm well aware all people have flaws especially Rulers.  But as far as rulers go he's a lot better than MANY.

So in the evening we all watched on TV the show they put on for the opening of the Burj.
 The famous Dancing Dubai Fountain danced itself to the Emirati National Anthem and many other fabulous songs. There were parashute jumpers jumping off the 828METER skyscrapper and landing in the crowd below.  AND THE FIREWORKS OOOOH the FIREWORKS! They had fireworks out the wazoo! LiTeRaLly!!!! FIreworks shot out of every floor of the tower up and down the entire length of the building in time to the music.  IT was amazing! I have never seen anything so cool in my life. Fountains spinning and fireworks all in time to rousing themes.  Made me almost wish i was there in person lol.  SUPER COOL! I'm sure YOU TUBE has some video on it all if you want to check it out.
One of the weird things though was in the middle of Opening the tower Sheikh Mohammad RENAMED the Tower!!!  I was stunned.  There went years of advertising revenue aimed at imprinting the NAME of BURJ DUBAI into people's minds.  it is NOW BURJ KHALIFA.  Named after the Ruler of UAE, based in Abu DHabi.  So me and Hubby speculated why the name change and the best we could figure is because ABuDHabi just bailed out Dubai finacially and thus they are grateful?  AS I said it is speculation, don't sue me. I'm sure the real reason is out there if I wanted to take the time and google it... erm which i don't.....
But it's another excuse for me to go to Dubai and see something new.  I'm definitly going to go to the top someday and see the world.



Although the whole time I'll be fearing Allah's Wrath on the city where Sin and CORRUPTION is RISING!!!  Although NewYork is still standing.....and L.A. ...... and London.....  perhaps the Burj "formerly Dubai" Khalifa will be spared?

intelligent thoughts (15)

6:24 AM

CRAAAASH!

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , ,

So here I am sitting here in the almost Fajr time and all of a sudden I hear a horrid screech and BAM BAM CRUNCH POP BAM BAM SQUEEEEELLL!!!!!
I live next to a roundabout that in the middle of the night is used in a race rally... finally someone got hit badly!
 I donned hijab and ran out only to find two men looking relaxed calling police and I asked if anyone is hurt and they look at me like I'm stupid.  I was the only female out there at 4am checking out the crash scene.... screw them then I went inside.... too darn cold out there anyways!

intelligent thoughts (1)

5:20 PM

Hijabi Hair: Going under THERE...

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Those who don't wear hijab, those that are men and wonder, and those who do wear it and can sympathise, here is a post for you. What is going on with women's Hair under the hijab?
I have been wearing hijab for 8 years now alhamdulillah and have been in many kinds of places of differing weather conditions.
Before I start though remember this disclaimer:
I have different hair than many women, I have limited funds to do nice stuff with my hair at a Salon, I am personally against myself going to a Salon for something I CAN do in my house (again, I'm not against others going to Salons, just myself, yes I have ISSUES)but I will go for something I CANT do, and as I have children my needs may not reflect many other women.
*sigh* ok glad I got that part off my chest.

Now I have been super bored out of my mind for ages now with my hair.
I have done coloring, perms, crazy cuts over the years but nothing catches my interest for very long and it all begins and ends with one very important thing. The hijab AKA Veil of Modesty.
Disclaimer #2: I love my hijab, never will take it off, and my rant on hair has nothing to do with my belief that hijab is Fard, and is beneficial for all Women, Muslim or not.

Lets be honest: it totally messes up your hair! Lets start with the basics eh? When placing your hijab on you MUST do something with your hair. You have two options: up or down.

Let's go with down first. Either you leave it hanging down your back or you braid/plait it and let it hang. Depending on the length of your hijab and your hair either it can remain outside your abaya or under it. If the weather is HOT it will stick to your neck and back and create a rivulet of sweat trailing from your hair line down your spine to your bottom. If the weather is cold it might feel nice and keep your neck warm. Either way though when you take off your hijab it will be a frizzy mess unless you use a hair product against frizz. Along with helmets and hats, the hijab too will cause your hair to do amazing things that will most likely NOT flatter your features. Future spouses of hijabis be warned, give her a few minutes to make it look nice okay. Don't think this glamorous wave of hair will tumble down for you to run your hands through.....you'll catch your fingers in lots of knots and create more tangles.

So if you want to prevent tangles there is the other option of putting it up.
Now here is a great debate on how to put it up. You can use a claw clip to flip it up off your neck. You can braid it and fix it up somehow with clips or ties. Or you can do as most women do since the beginning of the Human Race, pull it up in a bun. Buns though come in dozens of styles. Some do a simple one, some to a wavy one, some do a floppy one. Some use special clips or ties, some even use flowers or clips that give the hijab a bump or puffy look in the back. For an explanation fatwa and discussion on the bump I refer you to Aalia's Chasing Jannah.

As this is my personal rant though I will tell you my personal style. I collect my hair back as if I'm making a pony tail then begin to spin it around tightly clockwise until I have a thin line of twisted hair then it naturally twists on itself and I wrap that twist around its self clockwise until I have a a swirly bun. I then secure it with a single medium sized scrunchy directly on the back of my head. Not on the nape of my neck and not up higher on the crown area. This keeps the hijab material away from my neck and doesn't look silly or make me hot.

The thing about me though is I wear my hair pretty much 24/7 like this. I have two young kids and the thought of them pulling my hair is enough to make me want to rip my hair out. ;) So I HAVE to keep it up. My hair being pulled or my hijab being tugged on is like nails on a chalkboard to me. So I always feel like a cliche librarian. Very dowdy and boring.

Even though the style is HARAM and I HATE it, you have to admit these Emirati girls with their bangs hanging out of their hijabs have interesting hair even when it is piled up in a bun or clip. So many different style you can do with bangs. Even when your hair is up 24/7 like mine you still got hair flipping about your face looking awesome and fashionable. I was determined to have bangs. So I informed my husband and he had his reservations about the idea of me chopping up my hair (again). I carefully combed my front hair around in different ways until I figured a style I wanted. *Snip Snip* Voila now I have bangs. YAY! Now yes, even with my hair severely tied back out of my way, I too can look fab.

Or so I thought until I left to the Mall last night and tried to squish them back into place under my hijab. Let me tell you about my hijab first. I wear an under cap of cotton that keeps my hair from slipping out and in hot weather soaks up any sweat that dares try to drip down my neck. Gross detail but true. Over that I wear a variety of regular hijab that cover properly. Well last night my bangs were refusing to be pushed back and kept trying to peep out and check out the world. I had to continuously push them back into place but they were sticking up funny under the hijab material and itching like crazy. I was miserable. I had to escape to the bathroom finally with my kids in tow to fix it all. I flattened them straight to the sides with a good quantity of water before tugging my cap back on and adding the top hijab. Seemed to work better.

When I fianlly got back home though, you guessed it I took my hijab off and it stood up on end like Edward Scissorhands was my stylist. I quickly scraped it down with my fingers until it looked decent. But I sighed frustrated. I wish I had glam hair like other sisters I see in their homes. Somehow, even though they have to stuff it up under hijab they still manage to look fab at home. I look like a cliche librarian with fab bangs, therefore I must have moved up the scale to McDonalds worker. You know how they look, buns and bangs....with a nifty McD's Visor.

So I come to you all for suggestions. How can you make your hair fab yet manageable even though you wear hijab? And not have it down for kids to grab and mangle. Is there a better, more glam , more fun way to put my hair up under the hijab and still let it be awesome when i take hijab off?

Do you have a trick or are you bored out of your mind too?

Some days I'd love to do what many women do and just get a pixie cut or cut it shorter then shoulder length. But I've had those styles before and they didn't ward off the boredom they were just easier to manage. I like my hair length and I want to keep it but I just want it to look awesome for once in my life. The only time I liked it was when i went to a wedding and had it perfect but then I had to wear a special protection around my hair so the hijab wouldn't mess it up and it made it look silly.

So again to clarify I want a look that does well without hijab on in the house, and a look for under the hijab so when I take it off it doesn't look aweful. Any ideas? Any bad hair stories? Any hair rants?

intelligent thoughts (19)

5:30 AM

Mrs.Chase, Brandy A. was Chasing Aalia who's Chasing Jannah

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Long title short: I met Aalia last week!

Get some popcorn and come back, I'll wait, settle yourself comfortably.

After a crazy hecktic week of trying to finish my first final submitted art work for publication by the first deadline (YAY!) AND weaning my son before the 10th of July when he turned two LUNAR years, and staying cooped up in the house, I needed a break. Hubby was going to Abu Dhabi on business and offered to drop me off someplace. WHooo Hoo I called up Aalia and told her the good news. We went back and forth for the next 24hours deciding how and where to meet. I prepared everything I'd need for the long trip (2 hours) there with squirmy kids... food, toys, blankets (cause my daughter freezes with the AC on and my husband burns with it off, an epic car battle for AC control), and something for me to do on the way up there if my dream comes true and they sleep. I pack it all and put it by the door, get everything prepared. I have a 11am appointment to be at Aalia's house for lunch. I was determined to get there on time! By 9am me the kids were up and dressed and ready to hit the road. Hubby was still in bed........... 0_o
"It's 9am! We are going to the car!" I say pointedly. Hubby gets on the ball then announces we can not possibly be seen in AbuDhabi in our dusty sand strewn minivan. He has to manually wash the car himself..... I'm fuming at my timings ruined. So we sat in the van watching him wash it. The kids were bouncing all over the seats. I wore a very nice blouse since I wanted to look nice in Aalia's home where I figured we'd have the chance to take off hijabs, even matched my amber jewelry to the glossy brown shirt. It was starting to get hot though.... I thought about changing but my next best shirt was in the laundry. :( And... i had taken all that time to coordinate my not-often-worn jewelry. Normally I only wear it on Eid now that I have kids lol.
Naturally he then has to shower and change into something for business.... so at 10am we left and on the way he had to make copies of paper work he had forgotten to do the day before. So I call Aalia to let her know we are running late and we have a big confrence about our Lunch Location. LOL everytime we'd solidify something and I'd put the phone back in my bag and reach around to feed the kids she'd call again and change it..LMAo and I'd be jugling juice boxes and sandwhiches and hunting for my phone in the diaper bag/backpack of doom. She'd then announce a change of plans...hahaha... but it was alright. Finally we firmed up on going to Marina Mall. It's on the far west tip of AbuDhabi past the Presidential Palace, on a jut of sand. I folded my map happy I knew how to easily get there. Me and my maps, let me tell you, are inseperatable.
An hour into the ride the kids nod off after fighting over the pillows and blankets. Knew I shoulda brought four instead of two, silly me thinking two children need ONE blanket apiece.... rediculous. I sigh happily, my motherly duties satisfied and pull out a Sci-fi book I took half an hour to choose last night. I start reading it and get no further than the 8th page then I notice Hubby looking bored.... ah, time for wifey duties. I check the page number for mentally bookmarking (I never use bookmarks subhanAllah) and then tuck it back into my bag.
I strike up a cheery convo to make the ride and drive more tolerable. Not that the view isn't awesome with massive sand dunes everywhere you look but they border the highway with large trees and small shrubs to make you forget you are actually in a desert.
The main topic we chose is my future business after I finish this publishing project. We threw ideas and plans around much like a G8 Summit. Some ideas more sound than others. Most ideas begining with the phrase, "Ok well IF we had a million dirhams, what could we do?" LOL.
Eventaully the buildings get closer together and then they start growing like some Iincreadible Hulk Movie. They go from being maximum two stories high to 20 or 40 stories high...(ok I exagerate as I havn't actaully been in the massive building's elevators to see a button floor count).... still that is a funny thing my Husband noticed the first time we left AbuDhabi, you can tell your way out of the city by following your way to shorter buildings. HAHAHA.
I call Aalia to tell her I'm on the edge of the city so she can get ready. Our monetary discusion by that time has turned Islamic and we are loudly discussing our opinions and that wakes the kids up hehheh. They stare in wide-eyed wonder at the tall buildings. Ya gotta love seeing the world through the eyes of children.
As we continue North West towards the Mall we pass the Presidential Palace and as my daughter is obsessed with Princeses and such, I tell her "Look at that Castle! It's a Palace! The President is like a King (early political education there eh?)" Her eyes were HUGE saucers of awe..... Awww.... ;)
Finally we get down to Marina Mall and park. Realizing in all my careful planning I forgot the stroller. Oh well, they just napped and could use the walk. So Hubby withdraws 100dhs ($27usd) for me telling me to spend it carefuly (IE... stretch it out). YAY! So he takes off to head back out across the city. I have just enough time to get my kids to the bathroom, do a diaper change and a quick hair brushing before Aalia phones she's there. I return to the main entrance with butterflies in my tummy..... oh wow! Gonna finally meet her! After years of online talking.
Then I can't find her.... What the heck? I look around the main front circle looking for a niqabi or full face veiled sister with a toddler. Finally in a sitting area between the escalators I spot a cute little Toddler and nearby a glamorous Emirati dressed looking woman sitting casually on a bench, but she looked nervous (body posture, as her face was covered). Ah that must be her. As I walk up she stands and we finally greet each other and we give a very long (and over due) real hug. I'm just thrilled. She coos over my kids hehehe and I coo over her adorable son masha'Allah. I do take a moment to study him. A beutiful mix of Canadian/Emirati. Emirati nose and features but a softness that comes purly from Aalia. Adorable for sure!
We head off slowly towards the cafe she's planned us to eat at. Slowly because my son is almost 2 and has short little legs and he dawdles looking at everything. I point out the haram statues of a pretty dolphin fountain, they ohh and awe over the rainbow lights and colors. ;)
We fianlly get there and I'm surprised it's the same cafe featured on the ramadan TV feature Khalik Cool (Stay Cool) where they stage pratical jokes on people. The man from that show was imported from Lebanon where he made it big doing the same pratical jokes on the streets of Lebanon. Anyways, I inform Aalia of this trivia hehehe.
There are THREE waitresses standing around cooing over the kids (especially Aalia son). Then comes the hard part of finding a table. The waterfall looks pretty but Aalia's knowledge surpasses that idea that it's a bad place to sit. We wind up at a long table, her son in a high chair and mine on the large chairs with a donut shaped back. There is a group of four Emirati men chilling behind where I was sitting and three groups of Emirati men upstairs able to look down at our table. I mention this because on Aalia's blog Chasing Jannah she often mentions how they harass her and in Al-Ain there just aren't as MANY sunglasses-IN-the-Mall wearing Emirati men so I never throught it was SO BAD, and they were EVERYWHERE. Everytime she barilly got to peep her face veil up a bit some goon would walk by. Eventaully the upstairs men left and we got to play Musical Chairs and switch her to the other side of the table so she could lift it up but every two minutes some dude would be walking up behind her past our table and I'd have to warn her. Those DUDES ARE SO ANNOYING.. ...GET A LIFE CREEPS!!!!
Meanwhile my son is having fun leaving his chair and bringing me table settings from other tables (unoccupied alhamdulillah) and that is majorly distracting me from ordering and trying to decide what I want. SO much yummy stuff! I don't even remember to look at prices!
We ate the shrimp rolls, oh wow are they ever tasty! Then club sandwhiches (which we only managed half and saved the rest for later cause they were massive!) The kids had these yummy pizzas with fries, my daughter ate the pizza, my son ate the fries. As another family cleared out I finally got a baby chair and forced my son, kicking and screaming, into it. Distracted him with the the delicious thick mango juice. It was so big me and my kids could share it. Afterwards the kid meal comes with ice cream so she split hers with her son and I spilt mine with my kids.
After we chit chatted here and there about things we got the bill. Whoops I had forgotten her post on the cafe saying average bill was 80 dhs or so, and sure enough split between us it was 85 dhs each.... lol I heard my Hubby's voice in my head saying to make the money last.... ah well, so much for good intentions lol. I paid my half and we walked on around the mall a bit.

Now as much as I love wandering around malls with my kids it was very weird for me this time. It has been THREE yes 3, years since I went browsing malls or chilling at malls with another sister. My typical Malling means I hit every child related shop where they can explore toys or if they knock something over it wont cause me to pay damages. I don't go to Clothes shops, I don't go to Jewelry shops, I don't go to Make-up Shops....I don't go anywhere that I used to before I had kids (in the plural). One child is easy to manage in these kinds of shops but two or more no thank you. You're asking for trouble. So most of me was longing to hang and check out girly things like shoes and purses and glam glam thank you mam stuff.... the other part of me was wanting to head directly for the nearest kid store where the kids could roam and I could manage to talk more with Aalia. But she needed to buy a gift so we went over to an Accessories store (Jewelry) and my kids saw all those shiney things and went nuts! I nearly had to break their wrists in my firm grip on thier hands. Everytime I'd get something out of my daughter's hands explaining we didn't have jack money to buy anything no matter how beautifully princess or fairy themed it looked, my son would be picking out a pair of purple ballarina shoes for himself or a lovely fluffy pink tiara.....the dangling multi colored necklaces were too much for his hands to resist too. I spent my entire time dealing with them that when i fianlly got around to where Aalia was I had time to only make one comment about awesome swirley earings before we left. I sighed exhausted from pulling the kids along. Aalia having wheels on her son (stroller) was able to walk faster and LOL she's always have to slow up to match pace with my son. Thus the title of this post that I'm chasing her ;)
Despite the awkwardness I felt in Malling with a Sister after so long I loved hanging out with her. She's so sweet and funny. As we passed the Starbucks I randomly commented on Iced coffee searching for a common like with her when she swirls my arm around. And I'm just shocked by her surprising strong grip, she looks so dainty in the Emirati clothes. She orders me to have a coffee on her. Still shocked by that strength, no wonder she can chase down street beggars!!! I followed her in and we ordered. My kids were tiring out by then and were thirsty but the water at Starbucks was 6 dirhams for a dinky little bottle!!!! The same size bottle in Al-AIn costs 1dhs and at Malls 2dhs. So I refrained from buying any until consumed by guilt with my kids begs for water I had to spend 5 of my last 15dhs on a bottle of water from a different cafe. They guzzled it down and poof it was gone! Later as we passed the same area Aalia wanted to rest and I had to fork over 6dhs for the Starbucks water as the kids were dying of thirst again. I tucked the water in my bag though so it would last longer if they didn't see it. I had three large full bottles of cold water in our van! The next day when I told my husband about the water prices he looks over the bottle and goes..."cause it's imported from SCOTLAND!!!" YA ALLAH!!! Ah well, six dirhams for a taste of my ancestors homeland I guess isn't so bad :p
We also stopped down stairs at the masjid to pray Thuhr. ARG my kids were so BADLY behaved I was embarrassed. They were taking all the prayer rugs and laying them out in all directions while I Prayed and then running in circles around them and my daughter was hopping from one to another like in her movie 12 dancing princess where they hop from stone to stone....UGH! I had a serious talk with her after folding all the carpets back up about Masjid behavior. We go over it many times but it never seems to sink in that she really shouldn't run around crazy in a masjid. Everytime I tell her the story I made up about a fictional girl being naughty in the masjid she says she'll never be like that, then enter a real masjid and poof, story forgotten...
By now Aalia's gone out of the masjid and I have to chase her down again hehehe. Finally as I stare around the mall wondering where she dissapeared to she pops up out of nowhere. LOL scared me a bit! We head back upstairs. By then it's 4pm and we are all tired and worn out. She calls for her ride and I call my Husband. He's not ready to pick me up until Maghrib. I'm stuck at this Mall with 4 dhs, a half bottle of water, and two tired kids......... Lovely Aalia graciously takes pity on me on me and invites me to go with her back to her house. Alhamdulillah cause I woulda had to resort to filling the water bottle from the bathroom sinks LOL. We have a wonderful chat on the way to her house. Finally we get inside out of the sticky humid heat of abu dhabi and I really was not happy with my blouse sticking to me. I will never wear it again there EVER! We break out the take-outs of the Club Sandwhiches and have a snack cause the kids are starving again. My kids eat or drink every hour it seems.
AND I KID YOU NOT, I HAD THE BEST TASTING FRESH LEMONADE EVER MADE IN THE WORLD!!!! I COULD NOT STOP DRINKING IT!!!!! Aalia you'd make a fortune getting that stuff bottled and selling it for 10dhs a piece. Hehehe. We had sooo much fun laughing at the kids. They were zooming around the living room an fighting over one large yellow lego piece. My kids were just happy to fianlly get to run around with him cause he was napping in the stroller in the mall about half way through. He was having mixed feelings about these kids running through his house and touching his toys. LOL he was getting agressive (jealous as most kids that age are when other kids enter their territory) which my son hates but it's ok it all worked out well and was completly understandable. I just felt bad cause Aalia wanted a nap but didn't want to be rude by going off to sleep so she stuck it out. LOL We just lounged around drinking lemonade and laughing at the kids who had all this amazing pent up energy! My daughter stopped to rest and struck up a long conversation with Aalia about movies lol.
From the window Aalia pointed out to me the famous beggar chase scene. It was hilarious imagining her running below through all the cars! Eventaully my husband called saying he was ready to get us so I got out my trusty map and guided him the way and then the sad part came where I had to bid Aalia goodbye. Aww her son was so upset. I was sad too, when would I get the chance to get back to Abu Dhabi and chill out again? Probably not anytime soon :( . With another warm hug and cheek kisses we left. Certainly a wonderful Sister, Aalia is. Cannot say enough good things about her.
When I got downstairs my husband was missing!!! He had gone off to pray while i was saying goodbyes. I had prayed Asr at her house so I didn't need to follow him to the masjid. What was up with people disspearing on me! Hehehe. I circled the building looking for our van. Finally I found it and loaded the kids in. When Hubby returned he said he was starving, kids said they were too. I was so full of lemonade I certainyl wasn't, so we went off to find the nearest McDonalds or other fast food. We finally found one and had a bite. The kids had so much fun playing in the tubes in the kid's playground. I can't belive they still had so much energy after running with Aalia's son!!! I ate an ice cream while they played. After all the lemonade i needed something creamy lol.
This McD's was FULL of asians. We were the only non asians in the place and for some reason half of them kept staring at us... so weird! One even slyly took my pic with her camera phone..... WTHECK!!! First Emirati men now asians? Do poeple in Abu Dhabi have a staring problem? I never get this in Al-Ain..... We finally hit the road again. After a half an hour the kids slept and I covered them with blankets and pulled open my book only to find Hubby getting sleepy at the wheel.... I looked at page 9 and closed it and struck up a convo about business again. We chatted all the way back to Al-Ain. The kids wanted to wake up and play...we put our foot down though cause we were so tired and went to sleep.
That was my crazy and wonderful trip to AbuDhabi and meeting the awesome Aalia.

Believe me this story could have been longer but I left out many details lol. It could have been shorter too like Aalia's version on her blog (look for the cute cat picture), but I wanted not only her to see what was in my head all day but for evryone to see what happens when two bloggers meet up. :D
Actaully it was hard sometimes to think of what to say because we already know the same old questions of past history because we have it on our blogs lol. But we had fun!

Love ya Aalia, can't wait to get to Abu Dhabi again or you come down to Al-Ain..... if you come don't forget the Lemonade k. ;)

intelligent thoughts (8)

6:51 AM

Don't be a Cow

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , ,


"Why don't those third world nations close their legs!"
"People should stop being irresponsible by having babies when already the world is taxed for space, food, homes, and jobs!"
"Why bring more children when there are already millions of orphans and needy people in the world to help!"
"They are just trying to bulk up their population stats!"

Yet it is our right by God, the One and only Creator, who Shaped us and Gave us our bodies to have children. He gave the woman a perfect garden bed and man a perfect seed. It is not only there for us to use but it is part of our nature and the circle of life to have children. So statements like those above from pseudo-intellectuals really get on my nerves.
Impoverished nations still have men and women who have their rights to have children. God provides for each child with ease. Sometimes if you're so impoverished like Darfur it is all you have left to give to your community, to try to raise up the populations from death. Who will care for the elderly and the ill if suddenly everyone stopped having babies? Who will people marry? Entire civilizations could collapse without children. Also, who said the "first world" countries have more right to have children than "third world"? Are their people so much more worthy? Are their wombs so much more pure? Or is it all in their heads about money.
Ah, the money. This is it then. They think they have more money they can afford the larger families. Yet look at the average American household. The oft quoted "2.5 kids per family".
First they have one child and dote on it endlessly then another comes along and the chaos is suddenly overwhelming. I mean you have school and work and homes to balance and hobbies and vacations. More children mean more time and American certainly has no time for large families. Few who venture to have that third baby whether planned or not are the ones who change the average to 2.5. People just look with wonder at those who have 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and more children. They are one of the wealthier nations and yet they have some of the smallest families. Hollywood stars have millions. They could literally afford dozens of children yet Bragalina couples are rare.
Many times people scoff at these big families and sneer behind their backs that they are being irresponsible. Yet though there are indeed millions of orphans and needy people that doesn't mean you can't have your own too. We are highly recommended to take in orphans and help those in need in addition to our rights to have our own families.
Something I admire here in Emirates is the large families at the mall. I stare in wonder as family after family pass me by with five to seven children walking around a couple. Masha'Allah. I never see this in America. Usually at the mall you have lots of adults holding the hands of one or two kids and then the rare family that have a gaggle (whom everyone stares at).
Another note is look at the societal problems that you face like in China where they are limited to only having sometimes one or max two children. Babies aborted, girls thrown out to orphanages to keep boys for the family name, boys tossed out to orphanages to keep girls for their rarity, men stuck unable to marry from lack of women. In Russia you have declining populations and not enough women to bare the brunt. The plague of society problems will never cease. Why? Denial of basic human rights from God.
Someone dear to me broke my heart once saying "Your daughter has brains in her head don't let her grow up to be a cow." As if being a cow, who's job in nature is to have babies and give them milk, is something to detest in favor of letting my daughter grow up lonely with no children at her feet yet a PHD on her wall and presumably more money in her pockets. As if happiness cannot be attained by having many children. I think it takes more brains to have many children and raise them correctly than it does to go through schooling, get PHD, get a job, and work for the rest of your life. When you come home to an empty house at the end of the work day where is the joy of mischievous grins to greet you? When you have many children you have to learn more diplomatic skills than an Ambassador.
Yet still, women with many children are looked down upon in "high society".
Sorry, but for me, children are blessings from God.
We are told in Islam that some people are given much money and others many children as a form of wealth. These wealth are a test for us in this life. So next time you see a large family realize they are being highly tested by God.
It is our Right. Watch out world, I have a womb and I'm willing to use it.

intelligent thoughts (7)

1:01 AM

Keep Waiting

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , ,

Oh Lebanon! Keep Waiting!
Oh Syria! Keep Waiting!
Oh Jordan! Keep Waiting!
Oh Afghanistan! Keep Waiting!
Oh Pakistan! Keep Waiting!
Oh Iran! Keep Waiting!
Oh Iraq! Keep Waiting!
Oh Saudi Arabia! Keep Waiting!
Oh Kuwait! Keep Waiting!
Oh Bahrain! Keep Waiting!
Oh United Arab Emirates! Keep Waiting!
Oh Qatar! Keep Waiting!
Oh Oman! Keep Waiting!
Oh Yemen! Keep Waiting!
Oh Nigeria! Keep Waiting!
Oh Egypt! Keep Waiting!
Oh Sudan! Keep Waiting!
Oh Mauritania! Keep Waiting!
Oh Turkey! Keep Waiting!
Oh Algeria! Keep Waiting!
Oh Morocco! Keep Waiting!
Oh Kazakhstan! Keep Waiting!
Oh Uzbekistan! Keep Waiting!
Oh Turkmenistan! Keep Waiting!
Oh Nations of the Prophets! Keep Waiting!
Oh Nations of the Books! Keep Waiting!
Oh Nations of High Morals! Keep Waiting!
Oh Nations of Wealth and Populations! Keep Waiting!

Keep waiting for Israel to find it's last "terrorist" Hamas leader
with his automatic rifle in one hand,
his green bandanna across his forehead,
suckling at his mother's breast.
Keep waiting for this infant militant to throw his ball
across the room and receive a grenade back from Israel.
Keep waiting for the numbers
to reach higher and higher.
Keep waiting with your blindfolds on
and your hearts locked in vaults.
Keep waiting while Israel clear out the foreigners
to prepare for the slaughter.

Ah, but they deserve it don't they?
Their babies blinked. Their children laughed.
Their youth kissed. Their mothers toiled.
Their fathers wept. Their elderly sighed.
Shameful deeds indeed.
So please keep waiting.
Israel is not done.


(c) Brandy A. Chase, 2009

intelligent thoughts (10)

6:22 PM

NO Honking!

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , ,

There I was minding my own business leaving the ATM and about to make the perilous journey across the crosswalk in downtown Al-Ain on Saturady night. OK, remember to push the button to make the cars stop 'cause otherwise you'll get flatened.... remember to hide your money and credit card up your sleeve since you forgot your wallet in the car and -

BEEEEEEPPP!!!!! BEEP BE-BEEP BE-BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!! HONK! BEEP!! HONK!!!! Went an idiot next to where I was standing. He stared furiously through his front window at a store. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! He announced rudely again really laying his weight into that horn. "Why isn't that low bred moron coming to serve me in my car because I'm far too lazy and well-bred to get my butt out of my car and go into a shop for service." He was thinking. It was written all over his face. HONK!!!! He goes again. By that time I had walked directly into his line of sight and I purposly dropped my jaw a bit and let my eyeborws rise to the top of my hijab in absolute amazement that someone could be so incredibly rude. I purposly stared him down showing my incredulousness that he was doing that. He was pratically standing over his horn and at my look he slowly sat down in his seat looking kinda sheepish. His eyes shifted side to side to the other dozens of cars parked along the street facing the shops, then he looked down until I finished passing. I didn't hear him honk again as I walked away. Then as I continued my brisk pace to get to the cross walk I noticed every other car held an Emiratian. Let me clarify that statement. Every other car, there was an Emeratian sitting in the driver seat waiting for his service to be brought to him because he couldn't see fit to physically get out of his beloved car and go into a shop and ask for what he needed. As I cut through these cars and waited as a long line of cars were pulling through the tiny parking lot. One stopped almost right in front of me and the female Emiratian driver began honking furiously and the female Emiratian passenger gestured out her window at the eatery shop. She sat right there in the driving lane of the parking holding up a long line of cars wanting to get in and cars were backing up all the way down Khalifa Street as far as I could see honking furiously because of her. I sighed and walked behind her car and all of a sudden she roared off since the service had not promptly answered her Beeping. The other cars behind her filed through the parking to where ever they wanted to go as I reached the crosswalk. I walked across the street to where my family was waiting for me to return from my bank run and got back into the car shaking my head.

Images of 50's drive ins filled my mind with chicks on rollerskates bringing service to cars. But there are a few big flaws to this image and the reality of what I experienced.

1. This was not a drive-in with special places to park and eat. This is a regular parking lot. These businesses all have indoor eating. You know Tables! Chairs! Menus!


-
2. These were not chicks with rollerblades taking orders, they were "low-bred"(in the eyes of some) workers forced to ignore their indoor customers and fly car to car changing orders here and there on the whim of a HONK!
3. Drive ins where I come from are there for people to enjoy sitting and eating in the privacy of their cars and it's fun. Here they are using this method more like a drive-thru with no thru, just drive up honk loudly, wave, order, sit there furious as it's being prepared honking every few minutes to be sure they remember you are sitting there waisting fuel.
I find this kind of mentality really disturbing. I really feel if they want food 'to go' so badly they can just call ahead or at least have the dignaty to leave their car and go to the store and order it inside and if they must wait in their car until it is finished then go get it.





My Uncle in Law who had a restraunt here said to me that if you don't rush out right away and take their arrogent orders they will drive off in a huff and then bad-mouth you to their families and friends so you don't get good business. If you rush right away and probably grovel enough they will come back again and again.
As my family reached McDonalds on Khalifa Street we got out of our cars (amazing huh?!) and walked into the restraunt (imagine that!?!) and stood in line with all the other Emiratians, Arabs, Indians (can you just believe it!?!?!) and waited for our turn to order our food. Ta-Daaa! Voila! It is THAT easy people!

intelligent thoughts (7)

10:00 AM

The Mop Abaya

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , , , ,


Tripping up steps...
Stepping on the front edge and ripping the velco closures open...
Rolling the grocery cart over the edge and jamming the cart...
Kids stepping on it and tripping me...

This is my reality with the abaya. I love my abaya and I beleive in wearing the abaya to cover the awrah but I agree that the style can be varied.

In Lebanon the trend is to wear the abaya exactly at ankle length. To wear it longer than that is "HARAM!" and you will get looks and clucks of disproval. I have seen some women wearing it at mid calf even but when I tried to wear my short abaya at knee length it was promptly removed from my closet by my mother-in-law as a disgrace. The norm is a full length button down abaya usually having pockets (alhamdulliah) and sometimes collars and shoulder-pad (which I removed). I use the word "trend" because it is not fully an islamic adhearance. But having not known anything different and the whole country pretty much like this you just start to follow -blindly. They follow the rule that to drag one's clothes is haram because of arrogence. So those who drag are seen as arrogent and they justify this further by pointing at their wealthier sisters from the gulf who drag and can afford to buy new abayas if theirs get too dirty or ripped. Normally under this ankle length abaya is a long skirt (ankle length too and not showing too much under the abaya hem --now now ladies be proper!) and under that some bloomer style pants going to just below the knee or also down to the ankle. They then stuff the bottoms of these bloomers into their knee-high stockings or socks to keep them from view. The result is visably stocking ankles and then shoes. The stockings get me rilled up because some women wear beige which is the same color as their skin or so sheer you can tell their skin color under them...both of which don't adhere to islamic womens dress code of covering skin color. So this is Lebanon.
Now imagine my disgust and my nose sticking up in the air (just a bit!) at coming to U.A.E. and seeing hems all over the place from ankle length (Lebanese, Syrian, Egyptians) to almost bridal train length. Black cloth mopping the floors as they go. I watched them stunned, their dresses didn't get sucked into the esscalators and they glided off. I thought them arrogent and stupid for dragging perfectly good abayas all over the filthy ground. My mother-in-law would tsk til she's blue in the face. (umm and she did when she came here.)

Then researching for this post (where I planned to slam these arrogent gulf sisters for dragging) it took me 5 google tries before I came up with a fatwa about abaya length and I was shocked but the back of my mind always knew this to be right.
It says from a hadith that an abaya should not only be long and trailing but it must be so to cover the feet completly. I was naturally just stunned. Yet again I felt this to be right. I always wore black thick socks so no one could see my stockinged feet.
___________________________

Here is the article with the hadith for your own viewing:
Ruling On Women Clothing

Islamic Article
Written by Muhammad Taftazani
Saturday, 05 April 2008
Trailing the Hem of a Garment for a Woman Hadeeth No. 460 from Silsilah Ahadeeth as-Saheehah By the Muhadith, Allama, Ash-Shaykh Muhammad Nasir ud-Deen al-Albaani
"On the authority of Umm Salamah : that when the Messenger of Allaah -SallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – said what he said about trailing the hem of a garment for the woman.
Umm Salamah mentions: then I asked: O Messenger of Allaah! How should we trail the hem of a garment? He said: Trail it by a hand span. Umm Salamah said: But the feet become uncovered! Then he said: Then trail it a forearms length."
I (al-Albaani) say: In this hadeeth there is a proof showing that the feet of a woman are 'Awrah (i.e. those parts of the body that must be covered) and this was a matter that was well known amongst the women at the time of the Prophet sall'Allaahu alayhi wasallam.
Since, when the Prophet said: 'Trail it by a hand span,' Umm Salaamah said: "Then the feet become uncovered" and from this, one feels that she knew that the feet are from the 'Awrah. It is not permissible to uncover them and the Prophet - SallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam - reaffirmed that for her and that is why he commanded her to trail her garment a forearm's length.
In the Noble Qur'aan there is a reference to this fact and that is the saying of Allaah Ta'aala: ((And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment )) Soorah Noor: 31
Shaykh al-Albaani was asked a question regarding trailing the hem of the Hijaab for the woman: "Is it a condition that it should trail by a hand span or a forearm's length?"
The shaykh answered by saying: "This condition is if the clothing of a woman was like the clothing of the women in the past, i.e. because the women before used to only wear a Kamees (long dress) i.e. like a thobe. This means they did not wear a sirwaal (like pyjamas) nor socks, nor anything that would cover her shins nor her feet, except this long kamees which used to be dragged along the floor, which is generally known as the Abaya. Nowadays if a woman wears socks or perhaps a long sirwaal, even though this is not common, then it is sufficient for the jilbaab to cover the top of her feet. It is not necessary for the hem of the garment to be dragging along the floor except in the situation when she cannot find, from her clothing, the likes of a sirwaal or socks etc. because, verily the Messenger - alayhis sallam- ordered her to lengthen her garment fearing that anything of the 'Awrah of her feet or shins be uncovered. So, if they are covered with clothing or socks and over the top of them is the long Jilbaab then it is not necessary, in this situation, for the hem of the garment to be dragging along the floor.
Questioner: May Allaah reward you The Shaykh: May Allaah preserve you. Questioner: So it is understood from your speech, that there is no problem if the shoes become uncovered or some of the socks are shown? The Shaykh: No, I said to you that the Jilbaab should cover the top of the feet. Then you also mentioned shoes, the condition for the shoes is that they shouldn't be decorated, because nowadays most women's shoes are decorated. Questioner: May Allaah reward you The Shaykh: May Allaah preserve you. Taken from 'silsilat Huda wa noor' - tape no. 565 at 21.49 mins.
All Praise belongs to Allaah, may His peace and blessings be upon our final Prophet Muhammad, his family, his companions and all those who follow his guidance. Translated by Fahrat Abass Abu Yahya
________________________________


So by all this we can see that covering the ankles AND FEET is required for women. This also explains more to me why my Emeratian friend in Dubai told me they are taught from very young to consider the ankles as something "Ay'b" so show even among other women. I now have lost my arrogent thoughts that these floor moppers were doing something "HARAM" and have now feel duely educated that I and indeed Lebanon are in the wrong. Yet as this shiekh points out wearing socks and shoes that cover properly are sufficiant too yet the hadith says to lengthen the garment. To Lebanon's defence though you do NOT want to be draggin' your hems down Lebanon's dirty sidewalks, especially on a rainy day, ESPECIALLY in the poorer sections of the country like SABRA MARKET where filth and old blood from butchers and only Allah knows what kind of najasa (impurities) are on the streets. I don't even like my shoes to touch the ground there much less drag my dress which I will later pray in.

Which leads me to my next question: If you are dragging to follow the sunnah how do you know when you are praying that there is not filth on your abaya which invalidates your prayers?

Question2: If you are not wearing socks then how can you lift up your abaya to walk up stairs without men seeing your awrah?


So although now my opinion has changed alhamdulliah, still, I trip with ankle length abayas, I would be a walking disaster if I dragged my mop.

intelligent thoughts (9)

4:45 PM

Opportunities...take 'em or leave 'em

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , ,


How many opportunities pass us every day to better ourselves in some way? To better not only ourselves but others near and far from us. Allah has sent us time after time opportunities and we've spurned them or tried our utmost to attain them. Only Allah knows what each of these opportunities will bring to our life. For example, some may get a raise and some may get fired. Both very good opportunities to change one's life.
I've had some interesting opportunities in UAE to learn what could come of the future. Not all have panned out but it still taught me alot about life. My husband has been offered interviews for fabulous jobs that would change our whole life and how we live it but they didn't work out. I was trying to open that craft store called "Dare Your Creativity!" but til now haven't gotten a sponsor for it. People have suggested I go to design college for interior designing. I'm just not at that stage right now for college. Oh yes I do believe it's good to be educated. Don't get me wrong about that. I just said I PERSONALLY wasn't good at school work but I love learning and love "education". ANd if the time comes for me to go back to school it will be something i do with all my heart but again I don't see it RIGHT now in my future. Allahu Alim.
Yesterday night my husband got my blood rushing madly and passionately though my veins. Now, now don't be naughty.....nothing like THAT. Apparently he spoke with a man who is using the company my husband works for to install thing in his house. He was asking him about what he will do later with the garden when the house is complete and the man said he was definitly going to have a magnificent garden put in. My husband naturally asked who will the designer be. The man frowned and said he didn't want a professional designer, HE WANTS AN ARTIST! He asked my husband if he knew any artists and my husband replied, "OF COURSE, MY WIFE!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! What a man! (excuse my girly screams of joy) So when he called me up telling me about this golden opportunity to design this man's garden I was thrilled. Thats a challenge! Then I was stunned. I know alot of about designing, art, and gardens but am i good enough that he would consider choosing MY design?
Just a few hours ago we went to the site where they are building his villa (mansion) and I sketched out the plans of the house and grounds. I checked out each view from the window and tried to imagine what exactly the occupant wanted to see both from a man and woman's perspective. I checked out his taste in decor thus far to get a feel of his style. Which is extremely symmetrical, classical, and eclectic. What a project. Next step will be going to a large local plant nursery to check out what local plants they have here to decorate with. Then a meeting with the man to finalize in my mind his tastes and wants. Then to the drawing board. I'm glad I kept the 3D landscaping program my Daddy got me as a teen. Its going to come in very handy right now. Sweet hubby just installed it to the PC. Hubby also said if this man picks my design then he'll tell his friend and so on and I'll get lots of work (that i can do at home). I'm thinking so far if I get this opportunity and he accepts and then I get another chance and excel again then I'll think about going to some kind of design landscaping/gardening college or online courses. I already used to watch waaaay too much BBC gardening/designing and HGTV fix it yourself and designing and gardening etc... erm that was before I banned TV..... hmmmm.
The point is Allah has given me an oppourtunity to do something and learn something and I'm not going to waste it for sure. If Allah Wills for me to succeed at this then I will be grateful and if not I will still be happy I had the chance to do something new. Life is always an adventure and every opportunity is the chance to start one.

intelligent thoughts (7)

4:56 AM

Dates...

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , ,

no not the realtionship kind......

The edible kind. You know, the ones off the tree....

I never knew something so delicious existed growing up.

When I was a kid I read a book called Amelia Bedelia where she does things literally and in one book she was told to make a date cake and dumped into the batter cut up number dates from a calendar instead of the fruit date. I thought "what is a date?"

Later after saying Shahada I was at the masjid with my friend L., also a convert, and we were sitting in the imam's office chatting with him (he was an easy going guy). SUddenly he pulls out a clear plastic tin filled with something that looked disgustingly like cockroach bodies stuffed in neat lines.

"Go ahead, take one." He offers. L declines smiling. I look openly repulsed at him and the offerings. He lifted one brown slick shelled body from it's mates and with relish bit into it. I gaged.

"What is that?" I wrinkled my nose looking worriedly at him like he was going to have what he just ate coming to life under his skin and crawling around THE MUMMY(the movie) style. He laughed, LAUGHED!, at my face.

"They are fruits, called dates." He explained. I looked over at L skeptically.

"L, have you eaten them before?" I asked.

"Sure!" she replied. Not one for lots of words, was she.

"What do they taste like?" I prodded.

"Dried fruit." She offered. Come to think of it me and L never had any really LOOONG conversations...

"Is it tasty? Does it taste like bugs? It looks like a cockroach to me." I asked them. The Imam laughed again and proded the tin to me. I picked it up warily and read the top. Made in California. Ah good so this wasn't some "arab thingy" that is unregulated by the FDA. This inspired more faith in me about the food. (Prejudiced I was eh?) I looked closely at the so called date (aka dead roach with no head). It didn't seem to spout room for legs. I could see the tip of a seed sticking out and thought could that perhaps be the spinal cord?

"Are you going to eat it?" Imam asked leaning back in his chair amused at the american chica's new experience.

"L, if you eat one I will." I compromised. (aka CHICKEN!) She shrugged and took one and ate it while I watched again for gagging or movement under the skin. She seemed safe and just sat there after her mouth had emptied. I hesitantly picked up the cool slippery sticky piece of fruit. I eyed them again to make sure they weren't playing some trick on me to get me to eat a roach. At their benign expressions I took a small bit from the top. 'Sweet sticky sugar rush!', my tongue told my brain. I took another more happy bite. DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ate it happily and took three more to munch then gave the Imam back the tin. He laughed again watching me chow down on what formerly looked to be unedible.

I never had them again in USA. When I got to Lebanon and was offered them again I was surprised to find them hard and chewey. Hubby explained to me different kinds and over the next five years I tried all different kinds. Being someone who LOVES sugary foods this was nutricious and delicious in one. Everyone quoted hadiths to me about dates and their actaul content on food facts was amazing. So healthy and filling. I was in love.

UNTIL

one day after having eaten 40 in a row while writing 20 pages in a row while preg with my daughter I bit into number 41 vowing this would be the last one for now (just like i had been vowing from number 15) and I ruminated about whether my heroine should first catch on fire and then jump ablaze or have the hero rush in and catch on fire and they jump together....both ablaze?...hmm interesting possiblilities when it comes to fire scenes...When all of a sudden I felt something crunchy in my mouth and I rolled it around on my tongue and then horrified spat it out on a tissue and saw some weird black dots that were round and clusted together and the half bit ones showed they were eggs of some sort...bug eggs obviously. I gagged and threw down my pen and rushed (awkwardly being pregnant) to the bathroom to rince my mouth. I wiped my lips with a towel to dry them and caught my wrinkled nose expression in the mirror and told myself, "GROSS!" I went back to my bed scattered with written pages and date seeds and a half filled box of now questionable dates lying innocently. I frowned meanly at them then with a swoop picked them up and stuffed them in the back of the fridge. When Hubby got home I questioned him about the disgusting date. "Yeah, that happens sometimes." He replied casually. "But Muhammad (saw) said we should just eat and not look saying Bismillah."
From then on I couldn't help but to check each one warily and gingerly. Gone was my habit of blindly eating them. I now when offered didn't take 7 but 1. I was sad because they were still tastly but the effort of opening eachone wasn't worth it for me anymore.
When we arrived in UAE I saw some differnt kinds of dates at stores but avoided them too. At a few special dinners I went to I was surprised when the Emeratian Lady brought around a basket of chocolates of different coatings....mmmmm chocolate.... I took a few for me and my daughter and gave her the first. She bit into it happily then--
SPAT IT OUT! What? "Yucky!" she exclaimed. I looked at it closely to see that it was a date covered in chocolate I bit into mine and saw it was the same. It was a very strange combination of sweet creamy chocolate and super sweet sticky date. But they seemed clean inside so I happily ate all of hers.
After this I thought maybe they have different cleaner dates here in UAE so I went looking at the store and saw a plain non-glaringly advertised box of dates. I opened the lid to look inside and saw plump juicy dates and they looked all clean so I bought them. After going through each one in the medium box and finding them all perfetly clean and delicious this is the brand I stick to from now on. I can eat them blindly and give them to my daughter without the hassle of checking. I've been eating them now for over a year and have never found one that looked or tasted questionable. The Producer and Exporter is: Kimia Dates Co. from IRAN. website http://www.kimiadates.com/ I haven't been to the site but i will after I post this. They cost only 7 dirhams for 750g. Pretty good.
I've lost a lot of weight eating just these dates all day instead of giving into cravings of chocolates because they give you a sharper sugar rush while still being healthy and fill you up at the same time.

Moral of this story: Though dates may look like roaches really they are sweet and delicious and you get over the roach comparisson fairly quickly. I highly reccommend them.
[thanks to the commenters of Marahm's roach post for the idea of this]
*update: I went to the site and there is nothing there. on the bo they call it e-mail so apperently someone is very mixed up in their english language and put a website instead of an e-mail address. Ah well at least they make great dates.*

intelligent thoughts (7)

2:24 AM

The Mysterious Niqab

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I have always wanted to wear niqab since I became Muslim. I always saw niqab in new movies like Mummy (i know it's not real niqab now but then I didn't) and old movies where Spaniard Ladies would have their hair covered with a light veil (lace edged of course) and sometimes when the gentleman comes to serenade her she would delicately lift the edge of the veil to cover half her face..... thus he cannot see her blush nor her secretly pleased smile. There was always an aura of mystery about it. You don't know what a niqabi is really thinking. True wearing niqab islamic style has nothing really to do with just culture or just delicate laced modesty. Wearing the niqab for some is a big deal. I'm one of those people.


I feel it is the next natural step in the chain of proper modesty. Niqab can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. For some a way to further the idea that they don't need to be judged by their looks but by what they say and do. Others wear it solely for the reward of doing sunnah. Some hate it and don't see why anyone would want to wear something so suffocating. Some view it as mysterious and like to use it as a way to flirt discreetly. Some try it out for a while and leave it others fight hard to keep jobs and wear it. Some wonder if the woman covers her face for extreme beauty or extreme ugliness.

No matter how you view the niqab it IS a part of Islam and many do choose to wear it. I had the opportunity three months before I came to UAE to wear it in Lebanon. I decided khalas this is it! I'm putting it! Iwent to a shop and tried them on and it felt wonderful. A proper niqab. In AZ on a bus sometimes if i felt uncomfortable by the stares of the other passengers i'd flip my hijab's tails to cover my face and surprisingly got less stares and i felt less uncomfortable. So i bought two niqabs and later was given a third by my husband's paternal aunt who has two niqabi daughters. At this time I had newly become pregnant with my second and also my husband and I began having many fights at this time. I was relieved to cover my face when i was angry and didn't want him to see my looks. We grew even further apart though because he couldn't see my rare smiles. He didn't want me to wear niqab since he liked my face and wanted to see it while we were out and about. But he didn't stand in my way and forbid it.


All my Lebanese in-laws had to get used to me being in it and I had to get used to it. It was a little bit harder to get fresh air. It was a struggle to eat anything liquidy like soups or anything messy and not get it all over the inside of the niqab. I wore it beginning in Ramadan and so we had a lot of feast of course and so each meal was very difficult. Also I had to stop being so loud and laughing like a hyena at anything remotely funny. I learned to cast my eyes down more since that is all a man could see of me now. Because I wore glasses I attracted more than a second glance and then people saw the blue eyes behind the glasses and started wondering. Sometimes at the ramadan parties I was shown off a little bit -Oh masha'Allah look at this AMERICAN wearing niqab. Like they had received a better in-law because I wore niqab when many american's don't even wear hijab -in Lebanon.


My daughter got used to it easily. SHe only tried pulling it off a couple of times before she got the hang of it. But unfortionatly it couldn't last. I was getting nauseous from pregnancy and needed more air to breathe properly. SO I took it off with the excuse of the doctor's saying I needed to breath better for the sake of my baby so people wouldn't trash talk me behind my back with the family about me taking it off. Surprisingly my husband and my fights lessened because now he could see my smiles and since he liked looking at my face it calmed him down more. weird effect but ok. SO I was disappointed but still happy I got to try it.


The other day I was looking for a new hijab to wear and was rummaging my hijab bag and ran across my niqabs. I smiled fondly and tentatively held it up to my face. My daughter laughed and wanted to try it on too. I let her and she played with it in the mirror. "Can I wear this to the mall?" She asked. I imagined the looks I'd get for having my 3year old in niqab and laughed. "Maybe you can't wear it." I replied. "But you can?" she asked. I thought about that. True nothing was really stopping me from wearing it now. "Sure!" I told her and ironed a beautiful light blue flower print hijab and my black niqab.


Now some people believe you can't wear bright colored hijabs with niqab but i'm not one of those people. But I did want to test the reactions to it. SO I wore it to the mall. It felt nice and secure and I noticed a lot more people really outright ignored me. I even tried to nod/smile to the other niqabis but they ignored me too. The funniest situation was when i was checking out baby clothes at the BabyShop and this family was carefully avoiding me. I'd move nearer to them and they'd move away. The woman wasn't wearing hijab so I thought maybe she was just unomfortable about it but then I tried an emeratian family some who were wearing niqab and they avoided me too maybe because of my weird fashion sense? Later it was time to meet my husband for dinner and I was apprehensive on two counts, my husband's reaction seeing me in niqab again and eating in niqab again. SO I went to the restrrom and in the stall changed my kids clothes and took them potty and diaper tie and all that then took off the niqab. *GASP* yes i took it off. I didn't want to ruin my night by having a row with my husband. When i got into the elevator I think an emeratian lady recognised my hijab colors and the same two cute little kids that were previously with the niqabi and she began whispering furtively to her friend, obviously about me. I told my husband I wore it and he was like "WHAT? Well I'm glad you took it off." I was disappointed because I do love to wear niqab I just wish i could flip it up for eating and being around my husband.....


I want to wear niqab like only half the time but I know that isn't a good thing to do especially when a lot of people know me at AL-Ain Mall. One day they'd see me in niqab and the other day not....yeah it would be confusing. By the way I do know it's best to wear it only for the sake of Allah. I just hope one day i can wear it all the time. The funniest part though was my son's reaction to it hehehe. He kept lookig into my eyes to make sure it was really me there.

intelligent thoughts (19)

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