Have you or someone you know been close to the edge? That dark abyss there is no returning from. Staring off that massive edge wondering if you have the nerve to jump or the nerve to back away and go back to life. Both take extraordinary amounts of will power. Yes it takes a lot of power to walk away from suicide. To not give into that seductive whisper of peace for eternity.What can you do if you're on that edge?
-Talk to someone who cares about you deeply. A wife, a husband, a parent, a friend, a relative, the police if need be, anyone who is willing to listen to you and take you seriously.
-Have someone around you to keep you company for 24 hours or longer until you feel free from the edge.
-Explain frankly that you want to kill yourself and you want them to prevent you from this.
-Realize you don't really want to die, you just want to stop the pain, anxiety, stress, chaos, depression, and agony.
-You have a problem and it needs to be fixed for you to feel you can live.
-Work with people on how to fix this problem in small manageable steps, or to get through your pain in small steps.
-The solution may take time to work itself out but with determination and obviously the instinct to survive and live it will work out.
-If the first person you talk to doesn't help you, find someone else.
-Don't worry about going to work or school or taking on the responsibilities you have for a good few hours while you find someone to talk to. If you have kids find someone to watch them immediately. Anyone trustworthy will do.
-It is more important to take care of your mental well being NOW so you can be there for those who count on you another day.
-If you feel counseling will help you take that step to find some. If you've been that route before without benefit try to use the network of people and friends you do have to find solutions for your problems.
-Search the internet for solutions and ideas if need be. Remember some people don't HAVE any friends.
-And above all: DO NOT KILL YOURSELF, you are loved, if not by anyone in this world, than by God who Created you, and made you for a purpose.
Many times SADLY people try to reach out in their suicide attempts. AND ARE IGNORED! Their sadness, depression, and pain are swept aside. These people are too
busy with their own lives to be overly concerned with yours. It happens all too often, resulting in the tragic loss of one life, and perhaps several more with them.
busy with their own lives to be overly concerned with yours. It happens all too often, resulting in the tragic loss of one life, and perhaps several more with them.If someone you know or a random stranger even tells you they are suicidal:
-Take them seriously.
-Offer to stay with them until the feeling passes, talking out their problems offering solutions where you can.
-Try to get help if you are unable to assist them
-Call anyone from their family or friends that they are willing to talk to about their problems.
-Call police if need be if it is serious and critical
-Remove any pills, sharp objects, unsafe locations from the person's immediate area.
-Show honest sympathy not just wary concern.
-If it's someone you are close to then hug them or make them feel special and loved in some way.
-If you are called on the phone with someone wanting to harm themselves then keep them on the phone as long as need be, getting their location, and how you can find them or someone near them so in case the phone line goes dead you can do your best to track them and make sure they are safe. Try to calm them and help them find a solution.
-Try NOT to take anything they say personally, life is stressing them out not just ONE person (you), so try to put aside your personal feelings of anger at anything they say.
-If you honestly cannot sympathise or help the person do NOT say "Well, I just don't know how to help you really..." Even if it's true, it will make the person feel more depressed. Pretend if you have to until you can get them in touch with someone else reliable that CAN help them.
Another important aspect of helping those with suicidal/depressed thoughts.
FOLLOW UP!
Depression and suicidal thoughts often do not go away over night.
Do what you can of the following to continue to support that person:
-Call them regularly, daily, twice a week, weekly etc...
-E-mail them if they are far away.
-Visit them if they are near.
-Bring gifts that make them feel happy and valued.
-Focus conversations away from depression/suicide attempt. Last thing you want is them thinking dark thoughts again. Try to be just enough upbeat to make them feel better without smothering them in "thick candy-sweetness".
-Ofter to help them with their problems, watch their kids for a bit to let them relax and unwind, perhaps help them clean the house, do those tedious chores, study for that awful exam they were dreading, anything that helps them find mental relief.
-If they started therapy ask them how they are liking it, are they feeling better yet?
-Also if they seem withdrawn from society or people try to take them on outings that are nature focused, to the park through the woods. Nature is peaceful and beautiful. AND CALMING. Sometimes just leaving a person's house can make them feel better. Somewhere where there is no pressure for them to be something they aren't.-Do anything you CAN do to help them. DO NOT let their misery take over YOUR life but be supportive as you can. Your role is not to CURE them just to support them so they will think twice before crawling back to that edge.
PLEASE try to remember that just because someone is highly religious doesn't guarantee they will not try to harm themselves. Everyone has their weak days and weak points. Don't tell them "You are "insert religion here", so you are not allowed to kill yourself." That is stressing the negative and will likely cause the opposite effect you're looking for. Be positive. If it helps to appeal to their religious side remind them of their Creator and the Mercy within. Stay positive. Remind them of all the things life is worth living for.
Be an honestly good person. You may have saved someone's life. Follow up on people you haven't spoken to for a long while and make sure they are okay. You never know when you'll make someone's lonely day sparkle.
9 intelligent thoughts:
That is such an important and moving post. I have had thoughts like that once or twice since I had the baby. Sometimes when things are too hard with my husband and he will not hear me speak. But those thoughts are gone. I know the future is bright. I think sometimes the world can weigh people down. I really think you've done and great job with this post :)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It is so important to reach out to someone.
Thankyou very much sister for this post. In our time exist to much people depressed, and a lot of people that have though in comite suicide one time in their lifes. The best medicine is the Remembrance of Allah, this will give peace and hope to the heart. Inshallah. I will follow your advises if I find a person in this dangerous situation. Allah reward you inshallah.
I was touched by your words. I hope these are not feelings that you yourself have been struggling with. I tell anyone who suffers from depression to seek professional help. The modern medications really can make all the difference. The depression is brought on by chemeical changes in the brain due to stress, heredity, etc and the newer anti depressants can do alot to rebalance your brain chemestry. They are not addictive like some medications are and they don't have many if any side affects. Prozac was a great help to me and there are even newer related drugs. So if you know someone who is seriously down tell them to talk to a doctor, ask about medications.
Assalaam Alaikum American Muslima Writer,
Oh I wish you could speak at the upcoming National Suicide Convention habibty! You said so many beautiful things, and I kept wishing that somehow I could turn back the clock and have my Grandmother read your words. She did reach out, especially in giving our gifts to mom 4 months before the actual birthdays, but no one heard her. They only offered out-patient therapy to her, and it makes you wonder what you have to do (be Andrea Yates maybe?), to get in-patient therapy.
This post really rocked me to my core sweetie, as I have recently been blogging less, and having some thoughts. Luckily, I was able to reach out to my counselor and my new psychiatrist, but some people don't know about those services or are too ashamed to get them.
I recently signed up for a live internet transmission of the National Suicide Survivors Conference in October. I hope that you can as well habibty. You know what I think is so sad? You have to have a relative who committed suicide to join it! Crazy! It could benefit the general public all the same.
I definitely am interested in what they have to say, but think you said it so much better. I especially loved what you said about taking potential victims out in nature and how calming that is.
Walahi, I really appreciate you using your voice Brandy. You may very well have saved a fellow blogger's life! Remember that guy who was egged on over the Internet to commit suicide, and did it as the camera rolled? Wish you had gotten to him first, you would have made him want to live! Love you very much.
Wow, what a great post. When I was in high school I was depressed and suicidal, I would cut myself. Only one of my friends knew. I didn't have a good relationship with my family.
But Alhumdulilah I don't feel that way anymore, and I'm glad I didn't do it.
Salamun'alaikum to all muslimah all over the world..
Salams,
I have ALOT to say on this topic but, I'll resist. Instead let me suggests that those who are depressed to that extent have waited too long. Stop what you're doing and talk to a medical professional. As for 'having someone watch the kids' that is to be approached with EXTREME caution. I've been involved in a situation where having someone watch the kids was the perfect opportunity to commit suicide. As for any reading Muslims consult the Quran first and know that faith has you even when you don't have faith.
ASsalamu alaykum sister,
I havent seen any new posts after this one, I hope you and your family are doing well inshaallah.
Assalamualikum. Nice blog..
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