10:02 AM

Husbands: Should they stay or should they go?

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

If you don't like your job: you get another.
If you don't like your car: you get another.
If you don't like your clothes: you replace them.
If you don't like your house: you get a different one.
If you don't like your husband?
..................... uhhhhhhhhh......................?
If you don't like your kids, too bad, you can't exchange them for others (well at least morally you shouldn't).
If you don't like your parents, you can move out, but they will always be your parents.
If you don't like your in-law, you have to suck it up and negotiate.
So why if a husband is your family, you can replace him with another?

So in marriage often spouses fight and make up and fight and make up and fight and make up over and over again ad nausium.... so where is the line drawn to when it's time to give up and find another?

Some times that line is clearly crossed when abuse happens yet other times if there is cheating involved.
Yet on the other hand there are women who "stick by their man" and work it out.
In the old culture divorce seems less common than now a days.
We are so used to having everything convienient and easy-to-use that do we look at relationships the same way?
You should have unconditional love for your spouse as you do for your family and kids, yet often he doesn't have this for you and thus you don't have this for him. Maybe he sees you as replaceable so you feel the need to think the same.
In Islam, Divorce is allowed yet disliked. Families should try all methods to stay together as long as they can. Getting help, counceling, intervention..... it all seems so easily typed yet it's very hard to get this for some couples. So they just let it go and break up the marriage.
Other times it is crucial to break it up when someone is being seriously harmed in an unislamic manner.  Yet even then (sometimes often wrongly) people push to keep them in the marriage.

So just some food for thought today.... should your love for your spouse be unconditional or are their lines to be drawn and who draws them? Should they be stated explicitly or only spoken once transgressed?
Hmm lots to ponder.....
I was thinking about this as I was driving home yesterday how strange it is that finding a new job is much like finding a new husband.... gotta look your best, gotta make interviews, follow tangents, pray for help, take the plunge and sign the contract...... pray the job works out and pays for your needs....

weird how similar they are....

But like jobs, can Husbands be FIRED!?!?!

7:14 PM


Wrote: American Muslima Writer |


My friend said this to us recently as we moved house and so far it's working well as a new slogan.

We moved from the mind numbing dreariness of Al Quoz Industrial 2 Emirates Accomodation Al Khail Gate, (enjoy that Google Search Terms) to the interesting (yet still dreary sand-laden) area of Nahda 2, Dubai.  We live near NMC Hospital & Emirates Residence (Hotel Apartments-with nice green Neon lights at night so we can find our home easily).  Local ammenities include a Masjid (Khadijah), a park down the road NAHDA POND PARK, a dozen restaurants, pharmacies, schools, etc.... it's actaully quite the happeneing area...besides the stretches of empty land and sand between the buildings.  OK so it's not MIRDIFF frothing with trees and oozing expatness but still it's our new home and I love it thus far.

The house is a two bedroom but soooo spacious. (As it better damn well better be for the price I'm paying).
It has two and a half bathrooms. One for me (connected to my room Woo Hooo!) one for the kids and the half for the cats. That's right my cats have their own potty. Mabruk cats!
Also a few days before moving my lovely Persian Mama cat had a litter of babies bringing our total of 3 cats to 7!  YES 7!!!!!! Four wiggling cute babies. Which I only wanna keep one, the Black one called Licorice!
I love my black little jelly bean. Just wanna eat it!
Been busy unpacking and sorting out my life more. Seems long term my hecktic job of various hours isn't gonna be good for my life (who'd of thunk it) so I'm seeing if I can set up a private tuition thing of English Teaching and set my own hours and such. Probably better over all. But I'll keep my day job just in case....
I can't even remember the last time i was on the Net or blogged but I'm sure it's been months. I can't believe I used to have time to blog two or three posts in a day!!! Those were the days eh?
I do miss my online and internet pals a lot though. My life right now has no time for friends which is so sad. The only friends I get to talk to now are my consistant students. The ones I see three times a week for two hours. For 6 weeks then I have to hope they come back for more..... hmmmm odd friendship?
Anyways so I'm hoping with the move it'll bring me closer to more social events for my family especially my kids who are now getting old enough to need more social interaction. SO I'll get in touch with the Dubai and Sharjah Muslim Homeschoolers again and see what they are up to, as I now live on the border to Sharjah both events are do-able.
So here's looking to a new year of great plans...and a new life.

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