American Muslima Writer -Daring to Work Towards Jannah

Browsing Amazon for Books about Muslims (and Muslim Women at that) I came across this rare gem recently published.  It's a Mystery Novel. Catch Me If You Dare. Check out the info about it.  What struck me is the cover the most.  I'm a sucker for all things red! As it's my favorite color. But I loved how the Title is inside the Hourglass instead of on top as most titles are.  It's making a good statement. Also following the website for it they offer a discount ebook coupon (link under header). NICE!

Here is brief synopsis: For the full version click on the site.

"The elusive Scarf Killer has struck three times. Post-it notes ’3 of 10′, ’4 of 10′ and ‘5 of 10’ have been found on the bodies of murdered and mutilated Muslim women. Phoenix PD task force cannot find a motive, or the first two victims. The killer leaves little evidence for forensics. The investigation is further hampered by the distrust of the Muslim community. With five more murders threatened, the PPD requests help from the FBI. The FBI sends Rainey Walker, their anthropology consultant and nationally recognized police sketch artist...... After receiving the killer’s blood smeared message, “Catch me if you dare”, Rainey knows time is running out for the next victim.

OOOOhhhhh *chills* sounds like a good books to curl up with! Just be sure to lock your door first ;)

It seems more clear recently how things go full circle.
I was in a shop buying a notebook (ever the writer needs) and it stuck me how just four years ago i was kneeling on the dusty floor of this shop trying to buy enough files for my new file cabinet and was making sure I had enough labels and tags for each folder and I was buying about 100 of the file folders so I had them quite spread out around me on the floor.  I never imagined four years later I would have accomplished all I have done or how changed a person I would be.  Even further in the circle would be the first time i set foot in that shop and smelled the beautiful scent of stationairy proucts....ahh it was love at first smell.  Time fades so fast and we never know what is around the next bend, you know.

It was also in this shop years ago, i was looking for a grave leaf vine stencil to paint a shelf I had gotten as a gift. I wanted to paint it and give it as a gift to another friend of mine. I looked and searched and shook my fist at the lack of stenciling options.  This last time i was in there getting my notebook I saw it a beautiful grape vine stencil, i thought wryly, ahhh NOW you get it...four years too late... it's just as well though for Allah is the best of planner and my friend no longer lives in Lebanon anyways, she went back to Sweden.

Looking around the city the western influence has crept swiflty into place.  Lingiree clad women on bilboards and seductivly posing around the more "developed" and more glamourous sections of the cities. Hijabi girls who could hardly be called hijabis. Double the amount of cars on the road and more noticably the better and newer imported cars on the road.  Buildings popping up and new streets directions being changed from two way to one way now.  It's amazing how cities change.

Nationalism is increasing here in Lebanon. Every other commercial is a nationalistic patriotic song or theme. They are quite stuck in my head.... Especially the opera one...... LUBNAAAAAN!!!!!
They think this is the solution for the wars to end here in Lebanon, having everyeon identify themselves not by religion but by the common thread that they are Lebanese.  To a point this would work...
EXCEPT... for the fact that Lebanon has the most DIEHARD extremests from EVERY RELIGION.  NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE is going to forget theat their religions come fist and their nationality second....
hmmm but then I double think.... the rise in Western influence is really leading people away from their religions into a consumerism age where people become confused about who they are and what they stand for....  SO I guess as always the debate is up in the air, the DIE HARDS are here to stay and the whishy washy LUBNAAAAANi people always meet head to head.  I enjoy the political sketches showing the stupidity of the politicians here.  They have about three or four weekly programs and no one misses them.  They are HILARIOUS!!!

I love my Lebanon, do I love Lubnan? Hmmm....  that's a question to think on.....

My Adventures in Tucson had a funny post about Authors and their faces on the backs of books.

For me I do not like their faces on the backs, whether large or small. But especially hate the large photos. I do like them on the inside of the book in the back. Yet sometimes they certainly surprise you how the author looks doesn't match with the image in your head. But with their faces on the back every time you shut the book you are taken a bit out of fantasy zone that half this book is an advertisement venue for the author. As I said in comment to Advn. in Tucson "It's kinda like watching a movie in the theater with the lights on." You can get into the movie plot but you keep getting distracted by the guy three rows down picking his nose then sticking his hand into the popcorn he shares with his friend. I.E. Reality Intervenes.
But it got me wondering, what about Muslim and Muslimah Authors? Do they put their pictures in their books? First point of course is some people believe photos are haram of people, lets not get into that. If that is your opinion ok. For those that view people pictures as ok think about this:
You just read a fabulous Science-Fiction book by made-up-author Lacy White. You reach the back after a satisfying ending and there is a color photo of a middle aged Muslimah white convert with a lovely green hijab that matches her eyes. She is smiling a beautiful yet modest writer's smile. What do you think of?
Firstly are you surprised that this Sci-Fi book which had nothing to do with Islam was authored by a Muslim?
Are you surprised she's a hijabi in the picture?
Do you think she is supporting the role that we Muslimahs can be great writers?
Or do you think her wearing hijab means she should NOT be putting her face all over the world and into the hands of non-mahram men?
Do you think she should not be smiling in case some weird man becomes attracted to her and starts stalking her?

What would Muslims and Non-Muslim's reactions be to a picture of just a black swathed niqabi picture for the Author Picture. Or even dare I say a fully burka swathed photo. Some might say the alter is pointless but is it? You know that this author is a burka wearing muslimah and come to some conclusions about her by her writing and what she is wearing, one thing is for sure though there is that shock by a non-muslim that what they read was written by THIS!

For current Muslim and Muslimah authors out there do you put your picture on your books? What do you write about yourself in the Author Descriptions? What do you feel about your fellow authors who choose to do the opposite from what you feel?

I had thought of this question a long time ago when I was first putting hijab. I thought when I authored a book, should I put my picture of me in hijab? Should I wear colored hijab? Should I smile? Should I let my eyes sparkle? Should I leave off the picture? Should I mention in the author description I'm a Muslim Convert. Especially with a name like mine writing Islamic Fiction it might be seen as odd and surely someone would want to know who the heck is this Brandy person doing talking about Islam. For non-Islamic Fiction would it be a turn off for readers to know you're Muslim? Would they stop buying your books? Some perhaps afraid of becoming brainwashed by your subtle words encouraging Islam (you know secret Islamic conspiracy messages).

What are your views on this issue?

Lazeena was talking about her brothers growing up to men and how it feels to be uncomfortable with his friends you used to play with. I want to add onto that with family members and children of your friends.
Sometimes with cousins or cousin in laws you grow close to them as children and then when they and you grow up it's weird because you have to distance yourself from them. One cousin in law of mine was like that. When I first married my husband he was just a young teen. Six years later he is definitely a MAN. I used to play games with him and his sisters when they'd visit the family. For a while I didn't see him cause his family was traveling and when he came back and he was taller and older but I didn't know he was considered man technically and once he was acting up and I'm like pushing him around and cuffing his neck and all then my sis in law goes...umm you know he's a man now riiight? I was like OMG!!!!!!!!! OOPS!!!! Never touched him again lol. But it's weird for the guys too cause he wasn't that much older yet and so he was making a skit comedy of a famous actor in Lebanon and started calling me "Eyes a sweety" (sweet eyes) and the family was laughing and everything though I was sooo blushing... I mean there's your brother in laws laughing that your eyes are being called the sweetest...erm awkward.... but later when we came to UAE and he lives here too I long to joke to him about that but when i saw him again he's nearly as tall as me with all this facial hair and I was like OMG he's a senior in high school. If I was still that age I woulda been digging him lol. So I just keep my mouth firmly shut and say my salam, how are you, how is school, and that's it...

Another situation that is awkward is when you visit with your sister in laws or your friends who have young boys. You are playing with them, might even catch a glimpse of them in their little underwear, and you hug them constantly and kiss them fondly. Then a few years later comes the day you have to stop all that. Suddenly they aren't shaking your hand and you have to bit your lip and sit on your hands not to cuddle them.
But to be honest it's probably the best thing you can do for young teen boys is to really treat them like a man and act like that because it raises their self esteem and shows them more respect then if you were to pinch their cheeks and fluff their hair making them feel like boys again. SubhanAllah Allah Knows All.
My sister in law's son is just like that recently. I was looking forward to webcaming with him when his mom said I have to put on hijab. He's not yet of age but When I asked does he notice if a girl is beautiful or not and makes comments about these things she said yes so we agrees it's better to wear hijab now for him to be safe. I'm sad cause I long to hug him one more time before he grew up but looks like it's already too late :). LOL my sis-in-law keeps hinting that there is always the chance to hug him as my son-in-law HEHEHE. LOL we'll see what Allah holds in store for our children.

I have been staring at these pics for quite a long time on people's blogs for over a year now and some of them make me wonder...why did they choose that picture? I know most of us choose it for beauty or symbolism but some stump me truly... like this first one...

Faith in Writing, please tell me about this, why you chose this picture. I cannot even begin to understand hehehe.

Habayeb, I love this Picture but why do you feel this represents you and your blog?

Is there a category to choosing pictures? Lets look at a few I picked off of my Follower's List.

These are obviously religious but with nice style. Sacrifice4Allah, Najea, Minty... why did you all choose these for your pictures.

These two women are not Muslims yet feature such in the picture. Why did Suzie of Big Adventures (in Arabia) and Lisa A Journey Westward choose these pictures? What does it symbolise or convey about them?

Some make statements like MyHijab, and Hell Fire Furious Muslimah with their pictures. But why did you choose these pictures?

others like Muslimah2Muslimah and Ms.Unique feature their blog name right on their picture. Do you think this helps people to find them better? Why did you choose this way sisters?

Other brave women like Cecilia put their own picture to fully represent who they are. Sister why did you feel the need to put your own face instead of a symbol of who you are?

Why do others choose symbolism instead of their own faces?

What do these pictures mean to Ange and Always in the Kitchen? Is it a reflection of who they are inside?

Let me know why you chose your Display Picture Icon. Do you think it helps others to appreciate what you truly stand for or feel inside? Do certain DPI's catch your eye more than others? Did you make your Picture with that in mind to attract everyone to you?

I will go first and share with you mine.
This was my first one. I wanted to focus on my Alias name of AMW. Especially Writer. The Quill and ink I use to symbolize writing. But I write under the influence of Islam so I placed it IN the hijab. I am a Muslim and what i write about reflects that. American Is not portrayed thus I made a new one:
This one I like better. I clearly shows first that I am American with the symbolism of the flag. I am Muslim with the placement of the flag as hijab and niqab. But on the Actual Picture there is not a symbolism of writing but I feel that with seeing MY eyes it shows ME better than a representation of a writer. I AM a writer and by clicking on this picture under followers you will come across my blogs where I write. that is why I chose it.

The first one I did not think about how attracting it is but for the second one I did. I like how the whole thing is really eye catching, perhaps I'm playing favorites but I always notice it right away on other's blogs hehehe. I hope others do to and come to visit me.

So even if I didn't feature you directly in this post come tell me why you chose the picture you did... and LOL please don't say "cause it was pretty" Why was it pretty to YOU?

*UPDATE* AGAIN LET ME STRESS: I could not put everyone's display picture icon in this post but I DO want you ALL to post why you chose yours. We will see your picture next to your comment so everyone will see it there. So please don't think I don't want you to add to the discussion just because you didn't get your pic on here. I chose them completly randomly then compliled them into an order. No offense to anyone because I Do want to know about ALL of them. I see them everywhere so feel free to just add about your own.

I understand that many believe Music is Haram. I know there are certain texts forbidding certain things in certain ways with certain conditions. I do know this in my heart. But applying most of them has been one of the hardest jihads I've had to make as a Muslim.
Music has been such a big part of my life and I'd like to share that experience with all of you. Grab a cup and a comfortable cushion.

It is an amazing feeling; sound. You can feel the vibrations of it through your body. It accelerates your pulse and drifts your mind into a new realm of thought.
As a young child I never knew songs. They were forbidden. My biological mother is Jehovah's Witness. It was only when placed in Foster Care that I learned about this fascinating subject. One home in particular really broadened my exposure. They had the radio pumping almost 24/7. I had never heard music or a radio before so I asked them about it. I was 4 then.
"What is that sound? Why do you dance to it? What are you doing? What is it saying?"
The teenagers gawked at me.
"It's Music. Haven't you heard music before? We are singing and dancing with it for fun. The songs say special things to make people think hard. Come listen! Try to sing with us!"
::When the night, has come, and the land is dark, and the moon, is the only, light we'll see, no I wont, be afraid, no I wont, shed a tear, just as long, as you stand, stand by me, stand by me. If the sky, that we look upon, should tumble and fall, or the mountains should crumble tot eh sea, no I wont, be afraid, no I wont be afraid, just as long as you stand, stand by me.:::into instrumental chorus:::
So I sang and sang! OH HOW I SANG this over and over. Soon I was learning more and more songs as I absorbed the radio. This was the year 1988. Then they introduced me to heavy metal. They'd get together with their guitars and loudly turn up Guns N Roses' "Paradise City". They'd belt out the lyrics until I too had memorized them and they cheered me on as I sang :::take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty, oh wont you please take me home!:::
The next foster home listened to a different kind of music I'd never heard before called Oldies. They had the car and house radios firmly fixed to the Oldies Station and I learned all about the Beatles, Elvis, and other classics.
Another foster home later about 1991 for a Christmas present I got a personal hand held battery stereo which I carried around all-day everyday and even fell asleep listening to the new age of music "The 90s" Salt N Peppa told me I don't want no short short man, Kriss Cross will make me Jump Jump, Sir Mix A Lot assured me that if my butt ever got really fat that's ok cause men like it like that. Mariah Carey stole my breath away, Paula Abdul taught me to watch out for cold-hearted playboys, and to look into his eyes, he's been telling lies. Oh and who can forget I'm too Sexy for my shirt!?!?! I used to strut down the empty neighborhood street radio to my ear Jamming "I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy it hurts! And I do my little turn on the catwalk!"
Vanilla Ice was the coolest ever and THEN i went to the neighbors house and she had someone called Madonna posters everywhere. I fell in love! She was my new favorite for Soooo long.
After this I moved in with my parents and got used to their brand of music, Oldies, Soft Rock, and Easy Listening. Also my dad had a love for cowboy themed music. So I learned a whole bunch of new singers while remaining true to my 90's new stuff.
I managed to find a free music video channel and watched so many of the songs I had known and loved. A few times I heard something called rap but back then it was just the scratching of records more than lyrics for me and I wasn't into it. I also heard something called Country around this time while station hopping and it was always so sad and slow and I preferred to jam it. Until I met my childhood best friend Nicolette. Her family (which I practically grew up with) was heavily into country. Soon it entered my heart too. We would giggle and dance the night away to "Who's bed have your boots been under". Her brother though favored Rap. While listening to him blast it every weekend I started liking it too and as it re-entered mainstream radio I got to like it more and more.
My paternal grandparents though had a large influence on my music tastes. They loved classical and really old stuff from the 40's. I watched old Musical Movies and fell head of heels with Opera and Musicals. My grandparents have a large piano Organ with a set of Pipes too in the living room. They also had an upright piano they let me bang on. I was so fascinated. They told stories of glory days when they had organ Clubs and my Grandma sung in a choir as a beautiful Soprano. They showed me pictures of when I was just 1 or 2 years old visiting them and playing on the same Organ in their house. Under one picture of my biting my lip in concentration it reads the caption "Future Musician?" My family has a long history of Musical Talent. Which delighted me because with my low-self-esteem I needed SOMETHING to be good at!
in 4th grade we had the option to take Orchestra or Band Class at school. The shiny Trombones and beautiful high pitched flutes appealed to me but my mom kinda put a cork in those dreams. "Ohhh No, do you know what those sound like played badly? Please spare our ears!" So we went next to the Orchestra presentation. I again liked the high violin but Mom warned me again it's squeaky when played wrong but she liked it's size and that it was the cheapest instrument. I, being above pricing my love of items at the time, disdained it cheaper price. The viola was close in size and sound but it didn't attach my heart. Next came something amazing!
He (the teacher) SAT down to play the Cello. As soon as he ran the bow across those mello strings I again was in love. He played the Jaws theme song and I though that was cool the violins couldn't do it Justice only the Cello. After that came the double bass. It was so awesome but the teacher said he didn't have any available for student use (it's a poor public school) and someone would have to rent one which could be expensive. By my parent's exchanged looks i could tell they were about to convince me not to take that one. So I chose the Cello to play and was one of three girls to learn it and the Bass Clef needed to play music for it. It was my outlet for creativity and I was always excelling in this class. I had found something I was good at and I practiced as much as I could. Every year (except 6th which didn't have an orchestra) I played Cello and practiced on it until 12th grade. That was 8 years I played it and I won a few awards and was allowed to play in a Honor Orchestra.
But as I got older the competition grew as more cellists invaded my territory. I managed to beat for half a year the best player in 8th grade to keep my position as "1st Chair" the leader. But when we hit high school with MORE players and some of them MUCH better than me I became discouraged. If i wanted to do something I wanted to be the best at it I could be. After some orchestra drama between me and some of the fellow cellists who i fiercely hated because they were idiot boys who liked to make fun of me I decided to try something new that was offered.
"We only have one bass player and we really need more to round out the sound so if any cellist would like to take up Bass this year I will keep you in this advanced class since you can already read the bass clef." I took my chance and raised my hand to switch. I was the only one to do so. I met my music stand partner Anthony (Tony). He and I were to be casual friends over the next four years that I played bass. he was a chilled out part italian guy who didn't care who was first chair and although he was really good he preferred to stand in the second chair spot. So I got the glory at the concerts but we both knew when he beat me for first chair off and on it was fair though sometimes I did win. I was able to join the Symphonic after school orchestra and then my favorite part was playing in the Orchestra Pit (as the only Bass!) for the school Musical Oklahoma. At one point it was me, the piano, and the lead male vocal going together in harmony on his solo. It was one of the most special moments of my life. I was sooo proud that I was good at something MUSIC.
Meanwhile in 9th grade we moved into my grandparents home and I played almost daily on their piano learning to read the higher treble clef and singing along. In high school my friends and I also joined the choir and would spend our days wandering the halls with songs in our heads. I was known as the "locker-room singer" (by a few girls) because I had PE right after choir class and I could never stop singing and I'd get some other girls to go in too. It was fun.
At this time in 9th grade also I loved Rock on the radio and did my punk rebel thing with the black lipstick and spiky hair lol.
Besides drawing in Art, Music let me express my emotions in a way i wasn't able to with just words. The feel of dragging the thick rosined bow across the heavy deep resonating bass strings and having the purring waves run through the back of the instrument to my side and stomach and flying my fingers across the fingerboard was so fulfilling. It was peaceful. You felt in touch with the world. At concerts it was awesome putting all those sounds together to make something amazing that moved the audience. I loved concert nights. My friends and I getting dolled up and playing with all our hearts. There was something elegant about orchestra that band never had. They were awesome too but i was at home in the strings.
Until my last year of high school when I became Muslim.
I read online that strings were haram and music was Haram but I was in denial and unable to give up my passions. I continued in Orchestra. But religion and politics and high school drama don't mix! One of my close friends turned half the orchestra against me and Amanda. It was drudgery going to class. I still loved to play but my heart was slowly loosing interest. I had to wear these silly dresses at concerts and i had to hijabify them and everyone though I looked like a freak being the only arm and head covered girl on the stage and again I was standing next to a tall bright loud instrument... very visible. Soon as my Senioritis got worse I started ditching even Orchestra and got my first C in years in that class. I didn't go to the end of the year concert. Tony got the glory that night. Tony didn't even sign my year book though because of the orchestra Drama. Oh well. I had bigger plans in the mix, i was meeting my future Husband then.
After Highschool there was just the radio to consolidate my not being able to play anymore since I couldn't afford a stringed instrument. I did buy a wooden bamboo flute from the Renaissance fair which i tried to master over the years but my heart was glued to strings.
In Lebanon they only had a not well received radio station so I didn't even manage to get that much music for a while. I had my tapes and CDs but it wasn't the same. i was out of the "up to date" music loop. Most of me didn't care. The other part of me was hurting. i was a talented Musician and my talents were going to waste. i couldn't do vocal exercises anymore without my piano and though I still sing It's not with the awesome 4 octave range I used to have. I think somewhere an octave got misplaced.... Friends when they learned I play music would encourage me to learn more about Nasheeds. I heard a few beautiful ones with their awesome harmonies. Don't get me wrong they ARE awesome. Especially all the different kind of drum beats. But some groups frown on Islamic Women Singers so I wasn't going to start into that hornets nest. And women drummers in Lebanon were few and far between. i heard from the group I was learning from that synthesized sounds were Halal like those on an electric keyboard. So I stuck to this and once in a while when i visited my grandparents house I'd madly play the keyboard. Also I sometimes go over my old cello and bass music practicing the fingerings and bowings in the air.
My husband's co-worker Who is not a practicing Muslim and though Syrian doesn't know a thing about real ISLAM, brought over his guitar one day and started playing in the garden then he came into eat dinner bringing in his guitar. For the first time in 6 years there was a stringed instrument in my house. It was torture. He played it weekly on visits to my husband and they both know I gave up strings for the sake of Allah but one day in the garden I picked it up and strummed it a bit. it felt deliciously good. No bow which sucks but whatever a string is a string.
But he's gone back to Syria now saving me from further temptation alhamdulillah. Although I do have lots of my favorite composer Beethoven's CDs I rarely listen to them anymore. I rarely listen to anything anymore. But when someone downloads something and sends it to me I check it out and most likely love it but I'm not current in the latest music at all and that's ok with me. Sometimes when I catch a new video like stupid Britney Spears' Womanizer's song on YouTube I am glad to be away from such Haram. Other times I'm pulled to using Music to help me like with doing chores. I have to have a custom dance and rock Cd on to get energized to clean with my ADD.
Sometimes when I pray I get the feeling to just purge it all. Just delete it all from the PC and break my Cds in half and toss them in the bin... I feel so strongly to do this and it feels right. Then a song will turn on and I loose my resolve and start Jamming and jumping off the couches having fun expressing my inner self. I've asked different people about hadiths or Qur'an related to music but so far I haven't come across any that are really clear that LISTENING to string instruments is Haram (not makrouh) not just PLAYING THEM. I don't play them anymore, but I'm so weak in listening still. And it hurts me SO SO SO SO SO badly when I see Muslims playing Stringed Instruments like Sami Yusuf's second CD. I could probably get a decent paying job playing bass or cello part time to put some money in my pocket but I fear Allah. So I don't and I don't think they should be doing it either but I'm not sure about listening.
Anyone got links to awesome Nasheeds I can switch to that are Halal. Or texts concerning Music? Or links to peeps with texts. I'm all ears.