5:14 PM

Deep Inside I'm... A Rock Star!

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

So here is something new about me you may not have known (unless you knew me from High School).

Inside way down deep I'm a rebel, rock star, that longs to belt it out about injustice.

Inside I'm WILD.

I'm like a raging fire that can't be extinguished.

I love to have fun in a way that's extremely different.

I have a very quirky sense of humor.

I have my extreme passions that I wish sometimes I could shout to the moon.

When I was 14 I cut my hair almost all the way off and spiked it every day.
I probably would have wore more awesome clothes had I not gained too much weight as a kid.
Deep inside I'm longing to loose MORE weight and start wearing clothes (inside my house) that reflect my personality more. Perhaps later more rocking hijab but still Halal. I never get to experiment really. Same old dowdy stuff. I'm just waiting to peel the layers away that have been hiding my soul.

If I had to compare myself to any famous person it would be Rock Star Pink. THAT IS ME ON THE INSIDE. She is just able to express her soul like no other singer I've seen in ages. She sings with passion and depth and I love that. I remember as a teen flipping through SEVENTEEN mag and seeing an ad from PINK calling for poets to submit their poetry to her so she could write a song with it and no one ever knew she'd be such a huge star. I did think about sending my poems lol. Her songs always touch my heart. I just wish that there could be Islamic Songs with that edge and passion (IS THERE!?!?!) she puts into her songs. Islamic songs talking about the real controversy in real life of Muslims. It would make it soo much easier for me to give up music. I've been working on it for a long time, purging music here and there but someone downloaded this new Pink Song "So What" and sent it to me and I was like WHOA! And I totally JAMMED IT. I was rocking it big time jumping off the couch LOL. Yup that's me. Rockin it inside. If I didn't have a husband to consider I'd probably chop my hair off again LOL. But I swore not to do that again cause it took years to grow back out. Of course one could always be like Avril Lavigne with her long-locked rocker look. Again, IN the house ; p.

Anyways thought I'd send that out for the world to digest. I got my sensitive poet side but deeper inside all the way down is this fiery chick waiting to fly. Which is why I give new blogger "Hell Fire Furious Muslimah" big props on getting it out there and telling it like it is. Show your inner fire girl! You inspire me!

Maybe this is another reason I haven't been able to stop calling myself Brandy. When I first looked up the meaning of my name it said "Fire Water" I thought that was very appropriate. Even though I KNOW it is alcohol which is BIG HARAM, still... it reflects my passion. It's a reminder to me that I can be passionate and fiery and still be Halal. When I used to go do the chat rooms as a teen I used the name "Fire_Lips" because I felt that through my words I want to express my Fire. We should all try to express our inside personality more. Insha'Allah in good ways.

7 intelligent thoughts:

Lazeena Umm Yusuf said...

I'm the SAME way! I also wanna slim down some and wear some clothes that reflect who I am at home. Im just way toooo lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I think everyone has a hidden something in them and some people still need to come to terms to that and admit it, I know plenty sisters who hide behind who they are outside in public and need to dig deep and let their inner wacko out!

American Muslima Writer said...

I was totally thinking I was getting too edgy in this post and no one would reply lol. Thanks for being the brave first.

Let your wackos out people!! In a HALAL WAY! It's you're house, You're free.

Yeah sometimes I hide too. I hide behind this dowdy lady who looks and acts like 60 (no offence 60 year old people who are dowdy). And I just wanna grab some rollerblade under my abaya and roller skate down the street with the stroller. Hijab flying in the breeze, kids scremaing with delight!

Shhh! Even my husband was staring at me strange tonight cause i was all hyped up, those big eyed looks men give us sometimes ya knwo that mean, who is this and where was she, is she gonna stay?

Maybe til midnight til I turn back into a dowdy pumpkin. ;)

Thanks for the love lazeena. I wont ever forget this.

Hanifah said...

You know I was just thinking about doing a post showing my makeup collection & you have inspired me even more now. Of course I know some sisters would say HARAM-HARAM you can't wear makeup but WAIT I don't wear it outside. It's my little form of self expression, its girly, and lots of fun. So stop by tomorrow insha'Allah and check out my ever growing collection!

singamaraja said...

Salam to you from Malaysia

American Muslima Writer said...

Hanifa! Welcome again, and whooo hooo let it out wild thang ;)

Salams to you Singamaraja from UAE too. Hope you're doing well Sister!

Francesca Najea Lujan said...

As-salaamu-alaikum Brandy,
I wrote a post called "Feeling Like a Rock Star Hijabi" a few months ago. I feel very empowered and fabulous when I work-out. I have fallen off a bit from my routine. But, this post of yours is just one more inspiration for me to get back on it.
Rock On!

American Muslima Writer said...

Aww I gotta go find this link!
i wish you lived near me! We could rock out together!

and XOXOX to all of you who have written and encouraged me to keep being awesome. You mean the world to me and I'm so happy you even commneted and made me feel so high.

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