So much to discuss where can I start?
It is the new Islamic Month of Rajab, the Holy Month of Allah, to ask for forgiveness and make Astagfirullah. Purify your hearts more in preparation for Ramadan only two months away.
Seek deep connection with Allah in Sujood and in the night.
I am dealing with a mess of problems right now and it's all converging on my head and sometimes when you feel so overwhlemed you need to just step back and let some of them gloss over or leave them up to Allah.

I finally got a job last month as an English Teacher for an Education Center. It's a very demanding job with not nessisarily long hours but longer than I'm used to from my past work. But on the side it needs a lot of preparation at home. Hours and hours at home with my kids but having to ignore them so I can plan out lesson after lesson for all my classes of various levels. It breaks my heart. Completly.
But this is the Dunya and life is not easy.  I must help provide for my family. There is no other choice.
My children would suffer far worse than lack of time with me if I didn't work.

Having time to homeschool my kids has been the most difficult problem to overcome.  Last year when i was overwhlemed time wise I delayed my daughter by giving her "vacation periods" as needed. Where learning was minimized liek a summer vacation but still would cover the basics. I can't do that at this point. It's time for her 1st grade to end if I want to keep her on track. I had hoped this was the year to kick start her advancement but too many issue kept mounting up. I wanted her to start 2nd grade last september and then latest in January but it all fell through. Now I really need to kick it into high gear and get her through the last unit and finished then plan out the 2nd grade curriculum.
Also I really need to get my kids into some kinda club or outdoor playing routine for the Summer. Expenses are tighter than ever so that will be a big challenge.

Always there are the problems in a family, especialy a marriage relationship, to deal with. Always wifey stuff that has to get done and motherly stuff too.

Also I have a big SUPER challenge to get the rest of this weight off. I started out after my daughter at 115 kilos and got it down to 88kilos before preg with my son. Then after the birth of my son I was 104kilos. I've lost 30 kilos so far but I've been hovering at 74-73 Kilos now for a year unable to get under this palateu. My goal is by October 13th to reach 63 kilos.  Which will be healthy for my height. I've been getting stronger and more toned but the fat has still remained on top. It's not going to be easy to balence all these pressures on my time. I think 4 months is plenty of time to lose 10 kilos in a healthy way. Especially squeezing Ramadan in there and weight can madly fluctuate.

Speaking of Ramadan I need to make up some past fasts urgently.....

Nothing can be set aside at this point for a few months.  It's all going to take a seriously dedicated super organized schedule to pull it off and a serious firm commitment from me to actaully follow it without slacking.
*sigh* makes me exhausted just thinking of planning it.  I'm sure I've said all this a half dozen times before but I'm ever committed to always having hope of improvement.

Never give up hope in your life or you'll never win. Good Luck to you all this summer.

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