So much to discuss where can I start?
It is the new Islamic Month of Rajab, the Holy Month of Allah, to ask for forgiveness and make Astagfirullah. Purify your hearts more in preparation for Ramadan only two months away.
Seek deep connection with Allah in Sujood and in the night.
I am dealing with a mess of problems right now and it's all converging on my head and sometimes when you feel so overwhlemed you need to just step back and let some of them gloss over or leave them up to Allah.

I finally got a job last month as an English Teacher for an Education Center. It's a very demanding job with not nessisarily long hours but longer than I'm used to from my past work. But on the side it needs a lot of preparation at home. Hours and hours at home with my kids but having to ignore them so I can plan out lesson after lesson for all my classes of various levels. It breaks my heart. Completly.
But this is the Dunya and life is not easy.  I must help provide for my family. There is no other choice.
My children would suffer far worse than lack of time with me if I didn't work.

Having time to homeschool my kids has been the most difficult problem to overcome.  Last year when i was overwhlemed time wise I delayed my daughter by giving her "vacation periods" as needed. Where learning was minimized liek a summer vacation but still would cover the basics. I can't do that at this point. It's time for her 1st grade to end if I want to keep her on track. I had hoped this was the year to kick start her advancement but too many issue kept mounting up. I wanted her to start 2nd grade last september and then latest in January but it all fell through. Now I really need to kick it into high gear and get her through the last unit and finished then plan out the 2nd grade curriculum.
Also I really need to get my kids into some kinda club or outdoor playing routine for the Summer. Expenses are tighter than ever so that will be a big challenge.

Always there are the problems in a family, especialy a marriage relationship, to deal with. Always wifey stuff that has to get done and motherly stuff too.

Also I have a big SUPER challenge to get the rest of this weight off. I started out after my daughter at 115 kilos and got it down to 88kilos before preg with my son. Then after the birth of my son I was 104kilos. I've lost 30 kilos so far but I've been hovering at 74-73 Kilos now for a year unable to get under this palateu. My goal is by October 13th to reach 63 kilos.  Which will be healthy for my height. I've been getting stronger and more toned but the fat has still remained on top. It's not going to be easy to balence all these pressures on my time. I think 4 months is plenty of time to lose 10 kilos in a healthy way. Especially squeezing Ramadan in there and weight can madly fluctuate.

Speaking of Ramadan I need to make up some past fasts urgently.....

Nothing can be set aside at this point for a few months.  It's all going to take a seriously dedicated super organized schedule to pull it off and a serious firm commitment from me to actaully follow it without slacking.
*sigh* makes me exhausted just thinking of planning it.  I'm sure I've said all this a half dozen times before but I'm ever committed to always having hope of improvement.

Never give up hope in your life or you'll never win. Good Luck to you all this summer.

12 intelligent thoughts:

Umm Aaminah said...

A'salaamu alaikum sis. I can imagine the stress you are under right now.

Masha'Allah you are so strong to be able to juggle this all for yout family.

Let me make a suggestion if I might. Just focus on the big things right now. Obviously you have to work and plan for it. Other than that, you have to give your children and husband some time.

After that, don't worry about any other issue such as weight or projects you would like to do. Focus on the big stuff, prioritize, and plead with Allah to help you and lighten your load.

I know it's a totally different ball-game overseas; there are no social programs like in the US where for example you can get food stamps, healthcare, etc.

I would love to see a post (ONLY when you get time!) about the reasons you guys don't want to move back home to the US.

Thanks and ma salaama...
I think

♥ααℓiα♥ said...

Salaam alaikum Brandy,

SubhanAllah I sense the huff-puff of a demanding life in your words!! No wonder I haven't seen you on FB :-( I really pray that things get easier for you and that you are an amazing woman that I am lucky to have as a friend. InshaaAllah we can get together again but for now stay strong habibiti <3

Take care xoxo

Anonymous said...

10 kilos by october 13th? so its a 2 way ultimatum?

otowi said...

I don't know where you are located, but have you considered a program like Connections Academy for your children's schooling? It might help keep them on track.
As for outdoor stuff, it doesn't have to cost anything. Do you have parks you can take them to? If you play with them, it may help with your weight loss goal.
As for weight loss, calorie counting or something like Weight Watchers are the key, in my opinion. Really tracking everything you eat and not just guesstimating. That's what works for me.
May Allah swt help you achieve all your goals this summer.

Safiyyah said...

Salaams Dear:

The first year of teaching is always the hardest; after that, you'll have your lesson plans basically made out. Glad to hear from you. Keep calm and take care of yourself.

Love and salaams

Anonymous said...

In the midst of all these issues coming at you from all sides, you took a few moments to respond to my last post and offer me support. Thank you, and allow me to return the vote of confidence.

May Allah fill you with the resources you'll need to meet your current challenges!

... Lover of Love ... said...

I just want to say to make dua when you feel you have not enough time for your children. And focus on the quality of the time you have with them. Many many children grow up in homes where both parents work.

Maybe have game nights or icecream sundae nights or matinee movie afternoons? You can give them some special time with you to look forward to. Hope it helps.

Salaam! Shalom! Peace!

Jennifer said...

Salam Alaykum Brandy,

Veryily after every hardship there is ease.

Oh how that ayat keeps me sane! I can read between the lines and see how things are very overwhelming for you these days. I noticed your posts have slowed down as well-realistically so. Inshallah things will get easier.

If I may make a suggestion I find it helpful to focus on the positive things. My children are healthy and safe. I am healthy and safe,etc.

Anonymous said...

I wish I could speak to you without giving offense but don't think you are really ready to hear any adivice no matter how well intentioned. I am sorry for the hardships you and your children are facing.

Susie of Arabia said...

Haven't been by in a while - and I see you are busier than ever. Congrats on the weight loss! That's awesome. I know you are stressed with working, homeschooling, and caring for two kids and hubby - but don't sweat the small stuff. Some things will go by the wayside until you can get to them. Hang in there!

Riven said...

Love reading youe blog. You explored unschooling as a type of home education? I did that for all mine and alhumdullilah two are now at top universities in the UK where i live. When set free from Timetables and curriculums they thrived, espevially no 2 who has aspergers.
Just putting it out there. Salaams sister

sara said...

Many people aren't aware the fasting is not just about abstaining from food and drink, but there is more too it!
Same way many people lost the significance of Eid. its not about new clothes and feast!
please watch this short enlightening video!

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