American Muslima Writer -Daring to Work Towards Jannah

(random photo not her babies)


My friend called me last night to tell me she gave birth to her beautiful twins!!!


A boy and a girl fraternal.


Masha'Allah!!!! I'm sooo happy for her!!!


I hope she will get lots of support from her family and friends because lets face it she's not going to get sleep for the next three years LOL!





My heart goes out to her!!!


She was sooo strong too declining pain meds. May Allah grant her great rewards for putting her children before her own needs.





ARG I wish I could fly out thre and help her right now!!! Make du'a for her family.





Love you my dearest Muslim Sister.


XOXOX

Ya Allah.
YA ALLAH...
YA ALLAH YA RABBI ANA!

Something is definity wrong with my son, subhanAllah. EVERY DAY,
E V E R Y D A Y !!!!
He is getting hurt somehow. Since he's been born he's fallen off the bed 8 tims and bonked his little head leaving a lemon sized bruise each time. Making me feel like a crappy mother for not being able to fully protect him each time. He's into climbing and trying to stand by himself and learning to take a few walking steps by himself. We are going into debt because we HAD to just buy carpets for the floors (luckily we don't have many rooms and they aren't big) so if he does fall he wont hit his head so hard. That's not enough though! Still he's getting hurt!

Yesterday he climbed up onto his short high chair and then didn't know how to get back out and fell backwards from it and bonked his head. Luckily he wasn't really fazed by it and tried to climb it again but I put the tray on it to prevent him access. The day before that while playing with his sister she knocked him over onto his back but he hit his cheek on a toy pushbutton phone and it left a nasty bruise.

Today was the worst though! We got back from getting a carpet for the living room (cause soon he'll be climbing the couches) and we eat but the kids are trying my patience and I'm snappy and my husband is soo tired and getting cranky then my son falls under the table. After eating we are getting ready for bed and I'm putting a new sheet on the bed and smoothing it out and tucking the ends in when my son falls over and hits his head on the sharp corner of a drawer. I rush and grab him up expecting to see another bruise but what I find is a mother's worst nightmare there is a hole in my baby's head. Alhamdulliah it's not big about 2mm deep and 2mm across but a hole nevertheless. ABout two inches above his right eye. Allah saved his eye! Alhamdulliah. Alhamdulliah. I freaked out and started crying my heart out and trying to ask my husband if it looks bad enough to take to the doctor. Masha'Allah when i freak my husband sucks it up and is the strong one. He takes the baby from me, which upsets me more cause I just wanna squeeze him and hold him and assure myself that he's ok but with us both crying it's not going to help him. My husband takes him to the other room to distract him while I cry so hard and wonder why this is happeneing to him. Has someone cursed my baby with the evil eye? Or has Allah willed for my son to be accident-prone? What is going on?!?!?!
Finally my husband orders me to calm down for the baby's sake and I try to but I keep imagining it hit his eye instead of his head. Ya Allah I'll give him my own eye, just please protect my son. Eventually I blow my nose and make the rest of the bed to calm myself before taking my son back. I hug him tight and kiss him over and over so happy he's alright. I curl up with him on the fresh sheets and feed him his milk as I sooth his little delicate fuzzy head. I beg my husband to read Qur'an for him and he does so as my little sweet blueberry cupcake falls asleep. I lay him on his bed area and then hug my husband cause I'm still shaken up. After a few hugs I'm feeling better but still sooo confused. WHy is this happeneing everyday?
E V E R Y D A Y !!!!!!!!!!!
My son's skull is a puzzle of bruises in different stages it's so sad. People are always commenting too when we go out.
"Ohhh what happened?"
"Poor Baby!"
"Haraaaam!"
I feel like the worst mother in the world. I'd keep his hat on if it wasn't so hot and if he didn't take it off every two seconds. My brother-in-law after seeing and hearing about his many bruises said we should sacrifice a sheep for his sake to Allah. So Allah will bless him and maybe if there is an evil eye it will be removed. I've never heard of doing this because I'm still new about such things. If there is a sacrifice to be made though, for sure I want to do it. As I layed his little head down and watched his soft chest rise and fall and smelled his milky breath, I felt my squwimishness fade and a hardness fill my heart. I will slaughter a sheep or goat or even a camel, by hand, if that's what it takes to protect my son from this daily harm. I will research how to do a halal sacrifice and the sunnah of slaughtering an animal and I WILL DO IT.


Has anyone heard of being harmed like this before? Do you know how it was stopped? SHould I slaughter something? ANyone know any hadith, qur'an, rulings about this? Let me know please as soon as you can. I'm so tired and my heart is so full of pain looking at his bruised head and seeing his little blue eyes filled with tears.
If you don't know anything then at least keep him in your thoughts and prayers and make du'a for him please.

I'm going to post a small part of a post I put on my private blog because I feel it needs to reach wider and everyone neeeds to take the time to appreciate their children more.

*I yelled alot at my daughter today and finally she's getting sleepy after three hours of trying to get her to sleep*.........My mind is working frantically though as she starts to wear down. WHere is this coming from all this hate and anxiety towards my own daughter whom I love so much and would go to great lengths for? Obviously Shaytan is messing with my head. So I begin reading Qur'an for us both and it calms her down to sleep and me down to clearheaded. Finally she drifts off and I march here to the PC to do some major research. I've had it. I'm sick of yelling at my kids and feeling like al-Qaida surrounded by "Kuffar". (ie hot blooded). ..... I feel like crap and they feel like crap and this is all not healthy at all and it has to change NOW not tomorrow. So I'm googling things now and I will post it to both sites the links though not the full story of course. I already hear your critisim beleive me I know what a poophead I'm being. I'm the one who has to look into their hurt blue eyes and trembling lips and so I AM trying to find a way to stop this. I know it all stems from the chaos of life right now but it's such a visious cycle. Kids up all night sleep in the day eat irregularly etc,.. it all ties together but I don't know how to get it to re-adjust itself..... ugh.... ok let me get these links going:
http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-can-i-stop-yelling-at-my-toddler_500774_1000.bc
How to Stop Yelling
http://daddybrain.wordpress.com/2008/05/20/stop-yelling-daddy/
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080111132054AALB4qR

Oh my god. I really am literlly crying now because I just read this aweful poem about child abuse and it's so terrible and yet so real and true that it kils me all over again that I even shout once at my kids. Ya ALLAH, please have mercy on me and stop me from doing this horrid thing to my kids.... PLEASE!
http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-can-i-stop-yelling-at-my-toddler_500774_1000.bc?pageSize=10&startIndex=10&questionId=500774&ownerId=1000
(about fifth or six comment down on this last link I found this)
"I too yell at my littl girl. Sometimes it's so fustrating and when shes yelling and crying and whining all morning, I feel like I'm not good enough and I'm not a good mom. Then I just break and yell back at her really loudly, and sometimes I start crying after because i feel so bad.. When I yell at her she gets scared and jumps and starts really crying, I just want to die after it happens but it's already done. I want to be more calm and patient, she is only 13 months but I feel so stressed out sometimes. Today was one of the few days that i really yelled back at her and I put her down for a nap, and went and relaxed for a while. When she got up I was trying to be really patient and calm and nice to her cause I felt so terribly auful. I then came to work today and a friend of mine sent me an e-mail called Blue Ribbon Against Child Abuse and I read it, it goes like this:
my name is sarah I am but three my eyes are swollen I cannot see I must be stupid i must be bad What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long. When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark, My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come, I'll try to be nice, So maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight. Don't make a sound, I just heard a car My daddy is back From charlies Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide, From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shoults ugly words, he says it's my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me, And yells at me more I finally get free and run for the door. He's already locked it, And I start to bawl He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But it's now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have Mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops and heads for the door, While I lay there motionless sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three Tonight my daddy Murdered me.
I know it's too sad and very extreme, but we must try to stay calm with our children, because they sometimes know no better. After reading this poem, I know I will make an effort to try and understand my chilkd more, and get angry at her less. posted 3/29/2006 by Guilty mother canada "

Oh MY, are you crying too? Can you just feel the girl's wanting to love her parents? Don't you look at your own children and think how often they just want our love too? Why am I doing this too my kids? Because I'm stressed about the hosue and marraige and life and everything? It's not even worth one tear from my baby. Maybe this poem affects me more because I have been in abusive foster homes and all I wanted was parents to love me and they wouldn't. We have so much love to give our children and we waste time doing other things. Ya ALlah.
Here's the last link: http://actagainstviolence.apa.org/specialtopics/yelling.html

Masha'Allah my sister-in-law (my husband's youngest brother's wife) just had her first baby and it's a boy! Masha'Allah what a cutie!!! Thursday I went to Al-Ain Mall to get my kids tired out and about 9:30pm when my hubby picked us up he notified me that she was in labor. Around 10:30ish his brother called and said she delivered alhamdulliah easily. Talk about the easier labor I ever heard of. She went for a check up in Abu-Dhabi and the doc put her on a monitor and saw she was already having contractions and she didn't even feel them. (!!!!!!) SO he said stay here and within thirty minutes she was knocked out and having her Cecerean. Her husband got to cut the cord though!!! How cool. Then after she woke she got to see her beutiful baby. Though her after birth pains of the stitches make up for the fact that she didn't have labor pains at all. So alhamdulillah that Friday we packed up the car and headed to ABu-Dhabi to see the family. Her family was there visiting too. I got to be the first person to clip his nails!!!! She was doing good except for the stitches pain. We stayed for a long time until finally we had to head back so hubby would have enough time to sleep before work the next day (I HATE ONE DAY WEEKENDS). On Sunday I had him take over my old baby clothes to their house and soon maybe tomorrow we will visit them at their home.
I had thought for a long time about having a milk baby and I worked up the courage to ask her if I could be a milk mother to her baby and vise versa if she wants (yani she feeds my son too) and subhanAllah she agreed. She has a milk brother so she knows the benefits of it. So I'm so happy that insha'Allah later (after her milk is established) I can finally have a milk baby! [I just hope she doen't change her mind though, maybe it was hormones talking? hehehe hopefully not]
So mabrouk to her and her family. Now all of my husband's brothers (and one older sister) have children and only one younger sister is left--but there is no rush she is young :) (Love ya darling if you're reading this!!!) It's amazing to see how the family has grown in the last 5 years that I've known them.

First know I'm not racist in any form. My daughter was just attending a predominate Indian School (I'm talking country Indian not Native AMericans) and had lots of little friends of multi-cultures and ALL my neighbors are either Indian or Philipino.

I was going to leave polotics and such out of the blog but this was so terrible i have to share. I watched the CNN news Special about the Horrors happeneing in India of women and men BURYING THEIR DAUGHTERS (JUST BORN) IN THE DIRT AND LEAVING THEM TO DIE. They found one baby and subhan'Allah she was still ALIVE and they saved her. They found her A-hole "father" and asked if he wanted her back and he said No of course not! He already has 7 daughters he doesn't want and two precious sons he does want. They interviewed the daughters who szid they never get new things and have to work their fingers off rolling cigarettes all day while their brothers study and get new clothes. Families after families talked about how they wanted to know the sex of the baby before it was born to know if they should get abortion. They all want sons. WHY!?!?! Because they want someone to pass the name on AND becuase of the stupid DOWRY! The BRIDE has to pay a dowry to the MAN.. obviosuly has to be paid by her parents. This is horriable because of this stupid rule hundreds and thousands of babies are ebing aborted OR BURRIED ALIVE! So parents dont want the burden of paying their daughter's dowries. The Qur'an states how the IGNORANT PEOPLE before Islam came used to bury their daughters in shame. The Qur'an from Allah forbaid this and it stopped --except for few evil sinners-- I thought I'm so glad it doesn't happen anymore those people were truly ignorant! It's shows how sheltered I am coming from USA! It is happeneing and I'm sure not jsut in India. I only could watch the show until they were pulling baby bodies from wells and pits where they were buried or thrown there from abortion clinics then i just cried so much. My husband came rushing to calm me and turn off the tv. I held my daughter and thanked Allah I'm not from these ignornat people (not all indians just the ones who do this practice). She was liek " why are you crying Mommy?" I said "Because there are some very bad people i saw on tv doing Very bad things." She tried to cheer me up and I thought how can anyone not love a daughter! They are sooo sweet and adorable and are the basis of life existing. "Man cannot live without women and Woman cannot live without man".

QUR'AN:
Surah6,ayah140: "Lost are those who slay their children, from folly, without knowledge, and forbid the sustinance which Allah hath provided for them, inventing lies against Allah. They have indeed gone astray and heeded no guidance."

Surah6, ayah151: "Say: "Come, I will reherse what Allah hath Really Prohibited you from": join not anything as equal with HIM; be good to your parents; Kill not your children on a plea of want-- We provide sustenance for you and for them-- come not nigh to shameful deeds, weither open or secret; take not life, which Allah hath made sacred, except by way of justice and law: Thus doth HE command you that ye may learn wisdom."

Surah17,ayah31: "Kill not your children for fear of want: We shall Provide sustenance for them as well as for you. Verily the killing of them is a great sin."

Surah81,ayah1-14: "In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 1.When the sun (with its spacious light) is folded up; 2.When the stars fall, losing their lustre; 3.When the mountains vanish (like a mirage); 4.When the she-camels, ten months with young, are left untended; 5.When the wild beasts are hearded together (in human habitations); 6.When the oceans boil over with a swell; 7.When souls are sorted out, (being joined like with like); 8.WHEN THE FEMALE (INFANT) BURIED ALIVE, IS QUESTIONED-- 9.FOR WHAT CRIME SHE WAS KILLED; 10.When the scrolls are laid open; 11.When the World on High is unveiled; 12.When the blazing Fire is kindled to fierce heat; 13.And the Garden is brought near-- 14.(Then)shall each soul know what it has put forward.

These are proof for those who may think it's accepted by Islam to do this-- IT'S NOT!
I was given courage by the last Surah not to cry more because on the day of judgement the infant will have it's chance to exact its revenge. Allahu Akbar (God is the Greatest)!