9:08 AM

More Natural Life

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

Where on this whole earth would you want to live if you could go anywhere for free and live there? What's your dream?

In my Queenly domain of Al-Quoz Industrial, covered in sand and a few paved roads. A lone tree on the side of the road attracts many world-weary men to crouch under it in the heat of the day. It is the sole source of shade between an intersection of hot asphalt and the remainder of the journey across dusty sand. There is no sidewalk to ease the journey to the local market. If you can't bare another trip through the sands you can walk on the road, at your own hazard of being hit by speeding cars or large industrial trucks hauling their goods.

Once you finally reach your haven of home and the shade of the buildings there is relief from the heat for the skin, but what of relief for the eyes? The eyes grown too accustomed to the tan color of sand, the beige buildings that cry for color. Here and there a shirt hanging or a window left open provides a hint of brightness to a stark landscape. Sometimes I used to wonder why the native desert people had such garish taste in color patterns for their clothes. Now I understand. It's so damn dull to see sand color day in and day out, you need something garishly shocking to make you feel a bit happier.

There are sections placed in our area for plants and even black hoses to water them installed, but where is the greenery? There is nothing here to cool our eyes. There is no leafy tree for our children to climb and feel the amazing texture of bark. There are no flowers for young girls to pick and tuck behind their ears. There are no worms for young boys to dig up and explore. There is only sand, sand, sand, and asphalt. These companies that own these properties make billions and billions of dollars a year and they can't even put in a few trees and flowers!?!?!

Sure this is the price many must pay for city life. You get to be close to a Metro, Malls, Money-opportunities...all those "good" things that begin with M. But what is it doing to our children? I grew up for a few years in a poor neighborhood just off the ghettos of South Tucson. There were trailers and poor people galore, but AT LEAST THEY HAD TREES AND FLOWERS!!!! My best friend had an awesome climbing tree in her own yard! Man the joy we had on that! I'd wander the neighborhood collecting flowers and plants I liked. Sometimes I'd get told off in Spanish but it was worth the price. I helped my parents take care of our little garden. Enjoyed running my feet through the grass. With such richness to explore what does a child care about poverty? What do my children have? Sand, lots of it. They have become excellent diggers. If I let them bring water they can make mud and build things.

Sure there are parks in Dubai. But for many families these aren't feasible to reach. Especially daily as kids need to get out and get rid of built up energy. It takes a long walk across aforementioned sand with the lone tree to reach the buses to take you to the park or you have to pay an arm at least to take a taxi. If you want to take the free shuttle to Mall of Emirates you cannot bring bulky items that you will be forced to haul around like scooters and such. Trying coordinate times to catch the next shuttle back home without missing the last one or having to sit for an hour or more with two fidgety kids is a tricky feat.

I want more for my kids. I want them to have their own space full of greenery. I want this for all the other kids suffering here forced to play with asphalt and dirt. Maybe we are better off then most but even many impoverished people have trees around them. When I get a job I was planning to save up and buy a lot of plants to put on our balcony and make it our own private garden. But when they go downstairs to play there will still be roads and dirt.

Sometimes the life of a farmer or nomad or anyone who gets to live off very close to the wildreness pulls at my heart. I'd love for my kids (me too) to be able to frolic through a forest searching for mystery around every tree. Jumping over a creek or climbing on rocky slopes. Feeling fresh and natural. Like life was supposed to be lived. Allah created plants for our use and for us to recognise His Greatness in the creation of Beautiful things. That is one of His Names: Al-Musawwir, the Shaper of Beauty. One of my favorite Names.
We weren't meant to be contained in a concrete jungle like we live in a zoo. Everything artificial and dull.
How do you gain such a life? How do you find means to live?

Where on this whole earth would you want to live if you could go anywhere for free and live there? What's your dream?

7:17 AM


Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

OK so it's a derogatory term that I never liked but in this case it's well aptly used and has no actual conitation to Indians.
Indian Giver was a term given to Native Americans who would "sell" you something of theirs, say Fur-lined boots for $20, but with their religious beliefs nothing was ever NOT theirs even when given away/sold, so often they would return and "take back" their item, without refunding the new owner their money. So basically they would take back what they had given.
Yeah like i said it's a crappy term but some people would do this. Not all American Indians of course are like this or would condone this, and I agree. It was a rough life out there on both sides of the fence and sadly the Indians often got the short end of the stick.
Which brings me to my Blog topic:
I've been searching long and hard for a job once Magrudy's Layed me off, (and SEVERAL others). Everyday I and my husband (especially my husband) have been sending out my CV (RESUME) for any job I remotly even had a chance at, and many I'd be perfect for. My Husband's Salary cannot support us alone. Not even close. Which is no fault of his, just reality. So I have to work (for those who would insist I should stay home).
I've had many many interviews with such a variety of companies. Each one you set out early in the day, dressed to the Business NINES, carrying a sunny smile and a winning attitude. You go through the ordeal of a tough interview with your dignity intact and then sit and WAIT AND WAIT for a call or confirmation.
Mostly nothing returns. Even though I keep getting top-listed for jobs there is always that SOMEONE who has that tad more experience or WASTA or degree that puts them in front of me. Finally FINALLY I recieved a callback for a second interview. Thrilled, I double prepared! Triple prepared!
I went to the second interview and nailed it head on! They e-mailed me the next day with an offer for a high Administration Position! My whoops of gleee could be heard at the top of Burj Khalifa. I jumped around screaming with my kids in the hallway as I told EVERYONE the good news. Thank Allah! My children wont starve next month! My Nanny wont be forced to leave from lack of pay!
Do you FEEL my excitement here? They called me the next day to confirm the offer and Salary.
A few days passed and my husband started to worry why they aren't calling me back to sign the contract. I said no problem they are busy, everyone just got back from Spring Break, maybe things are chaotic.
Finally I emailed them and waited a few more days then fianlly called them (twice). On the phone again I asked if the offer still stands despite the delay and was assured yes it does.
Stopped sending my CV out. Stopped accepting interviews. I prepared a detailed schedule for my kids and Nanny and began implimenting it so there would be a smooth transition back to working life. It's certainly not easy to get kids to bend to new rules and timings! It was a cranky house for a week, but it got smoothed out!
I even went shopping for groceries for the begining of next month, over spending a little just to make sure I wouldn't have to go shopping for a few weeks while trying to get into the routine of my new job.

I was mid-shower when the phone rang.

I finished up and hopped out and called the School back. The CEO changed the contract details of the qualifications, thus denying me the position. The offer was taken back, despite the overwhelming approval of my canidacy from the Head HR and Admissions Manager.
I do not get the job after all.

I'm a Customer Service Executive, so I keep my cool when people say and do crappy things to me (well professioanlly anyways), and so I polietly thanked them and calmly hung up.
I sat there on the edge of the bed, wrapped in a towel, drops of water rolling off my hair to splat on the tile floor and just looked numbly at the sun shining through the curtain of my bedroom sliding door. I just kept thinking SubhanAllah, Allah didn't want me to have this job and He wanted me to have insha'Allah something better than this. So I said my Alhamdulillahs despite my depressed mood.

 A heartbeat later my husband comes home in a jolly mood, cracking jokes and nuzzling our kids hello, making them giggle. I swollow hard. I don't want to break his cheerful mood. He greeted me and asked me if I heard back from the school. I winced and nodded. At my unhappy face he was like "What happened!"
So I told him.

It was downhill from there. Sunshine gone like a sudden blizzard on the praire. He couldn't sleep that night too angry in his heart about the sudden taking back of the job offer, and my Nanny too. It was confirmed in writing and verbally TWICE! I googled if this was even LEGAL, apperently it is even though it's crappy.

It's now the end of the month and because I lost a week and a half from the job search market I have no interviews scheduled until hopefully into the last days of April or begining of May. I'm mentally kicking myself for stopping sending my CV. On top of that through a glitch in the system of my husband's company he wont be getting his full paycheck until NEXT month at the end of May.  Thank Allah I stocked up on food but that was the last of our money. We'll have to resort to borrowing again and paying them back when I get paid, which is what we had to do when I had to start working for Magrudy's thus most of my monthly salaries went back to paying off people, May Allah Bless Them. Living like this is just depressing though. Having to resort to begging and borrowing again. UGH!
I was soooooo done with that when we left Al-Ain.

But I always have my Faith. Allah wont let us starve to death. He will give us something better soon. I put my trust in Him to get me a job or some means of providing for my family. Insha'Allah something turns up. Make du'a. There are a lot of people in worse situations.

So Raffles School, you are officially and professionally.......the Title of my Blog Post.
May Allah guide you from doing this to other people.

3:02 PM


Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

My Beloved Month of my Birth has arrived again. APRIL!
Normally I feel like Yellow when this month comes (see last year's post) but this year I just have the aching for BLUE! A lovely light fresh blue like the gorgious spring sky.
I found myself some lovely internet cakes and sugar flowers.
I'd love to get these dresses one day!

It just a refreshing color, the perfect start to a new year of renewal and figuring out things for my life.

I have my work cut out for me.  Trying to find a new job which has been tough.
Trying to sort out opening a new business and finding an investor.
Homeschooling, mommy stuff, wifey stuff, exersizing, dieting, friend stuff.
Want to get another book published this year insha'Allah.
New idea for another book plot to write in November's Nanowrimo.
Gotta just get stuff done this year and not let it pile up!
AS soon as I get a job I also wanna get rid of old things in my house like my couches and re-do them or get new ones.
Also hoping to travel to Lebanon and USA this year.  It all depends on what Allah gives me o work with this year. Insha'ALlah it will go smoothly.
I really can't beleive I've reached 27! I keep thinking really 27!?!?! Like almost 30?!?! What happened to 22? 24? oh yes, children..... hmm.... LOL!
I feel weird because I thought 24 would be my healthiest and now at 27 I'm getting much more healthy. Loosing a lot of weight and trying to keep it off.
I'm trying to reach 60kilos or under by July. Insha'Allah.
I wanna finish organizing my papers. As a writer I have boxes and boxes of papers. I decided that to get rid of them I'm going to just scan them all and save them on my external harddrive but finding time to scan has been the hard part.
Also wanna go through my closet and get rid of all those ugly enormous clothes I've had for years. Just get rid of them all and then slowly start a new collection. Much better styles now I can fit into better clothes.
So a lot to do this month and take stock of and deal with but I'm looking forward to it. I love the number seven and I had a great year in 17...hehehe.  So enjoy this beautiful month and take stock of your own lives.
Have a slice of internet cake on me ;)
Love and Hugs!

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