Have you or someone you know been close to the edge? That dark abyss there is no returning from. Staring off that massive edge wondering if you have the nerve to jump or the nerve to back away and go back to life. Both take extraordinary amounts of will power. Yes it takes a lot of power to walk away from suicide. To not give into that seductive whisper of peace for eternity.
What can you do if you're on that edge?
-Talk to someone who cares about you deeply. A wife, a husband, a parent, a friend, a relative, the police if need be, anyone who is willing to listen to you and take you seriously.
-Have someone around you to keep you company for 24 hours or longer until you feel free from the edge.
-Explain frankly that you want to kill yourself and you want them to prevent you from this.
-Realize you don't really want to die, you just want to stop the pain, anxiety, stress, chaos, depression, and agony.
-You have a problem and it needs to be fixed for you to feel you can live.
-Work with people on how to fix this problem in small manageable steps, or to get through your pain in small steps.
-The solution may take time to work itself out but with determination and obviously the instinct to survive and live it will work out.
-If the first person you talk to doesn't help you, find someone else.
-Don't worry about going to work or school or taking on the responsibilities you have for a good few hours while you find someone to talk to. If you have kids find someone to watch them immediately. Anyone trustworthy will do.
-It is more important to take care of your mental well being NOW so you can be there for those who count on you another day.
-If you feel counseling will help you take that step to find some. If you've been that route before without benefit try to use the network of people and friends you do have to find solutions for your problems.
-Search the internet for solutions and ideas if need be. Remember some people don't HAVE any friends.
-And above all: DO NOT KILL YOURSELF, you are loved, if not by anyone in this world, than by God who Created you, and made you for a purpose.
Many times SADLY people try to reach out in their suicide attempts. AND ARE IGNORED! Their sadness, depression, and pain are swept aside. These people are too
busy with their own lives to be overly concerned with yours. It happens all too often, resulting in the tragic loss of one life, and perhaps several more with them.
If someone you know or a random stranger even tells you they are suicidal:
-Take them seriously.
-Offer to stay with them until the feeling passes, talking out their problems offering solutions where you can.
-Try to get help if you are unable to assist them
-Call anyone from their family or friends that they are willing to talk to about their problems.
-Call police if need be if it is serious and critical
-Remove any pills, sharp objects, unsafe locations from the person's immediate area.
-Show honest sympathy not just wary concern.
-If it's someone you are close to then hug them or make them feel special and loved in some way.
-If you are called on the phone with someone wanting to harm themselves then keep them on the phone as long as need be, getting their location, and how you can find them or someone near them so in case the phone line goes dead you can do your best to track them and make sure they are safe. Try to calm them and help them find a solution.
-Try NOT to take anything they say personally, life is stressing them out not just ONE person (you), so try to put aside your personal feelings of anger at anything they say.
-If you honestly cannot sympathise or help the person do NOT say "Well, I just don't know how to help you really..." Even if it's true, it will make the person feel more depressed. Pretend if you have to until you can get them in touch with someone else reliable that CAN help them.
Another important aspect of helping those with suicidal/depressed thoughts.
FOLLOW UP!
Depression and suicidal thoughts often do not go away over night.
Do what you can of the following to continue to support that person:
-Call them regularly, daily, twice a week, weekly etc...
-E-mail them if they are far away.
-Visit them if they are near.
-Bring gifts that make them feel happy and valued.
-Focus conversations away from depression/suicide attempt. Last thing you want is them thinking dark thoughts again. Try to be just enough upbeat to make them feel better without smothering them in "thick candy-sweetness".
-Ofter to help them with their problems, watch their kids for a bit to let them relax and unwind, perhaps help them clean the house, do those tedious chores, study for that awful exam they were dreading, anything that helps them find mental relief.
-If they started therapy ask them how they are liking it, are they feeling better yet?
-Also if they seem withdrawn from society or people try to take them on outings that are nature focused, to the park through the woods. Nature is peaceful and beautiful. AND CALMING. Sometimes just leaving a person's house can make them feel better. Somewhere where there is no pressure for them to be something they aren't.
-Do anything you CAN do to help them. DO NOT let their misery take over YOUR life but be supportive as you can. Your role is not to CURE them just to support them so they will think twice before crawling back to that edge.
PLEASE try to remember that just because someone is highly religious doesn't guarantee they will not try to harm themselves. Everyone has their weak days and weak points. Don't tell them "You are "insert religion here", so you are not allowed to kill yourself." That is stressing the negative and will likely cause the opposite effect you're looking for. Be positive. If it helps to appeal to their religious side remind them of their Creator and the Mercy within. Stay positive. Remind them of all the things life is worth living for.
Be an honestly good person. You may have saved someone's life. Follow up on people you haven't spoken to for a long while and make sure they are okay. You never know when you'll make someone's lonely day sparkle.
