American Muslima Writer -Daring to Work Towards Jannah

Polygamy is common in Islam and sometimes causes stress or disturbance to the families involved and other time i causes bliss.  Either way it's a big issue not only in Western society but in the Arab society.

Many times with any big issues there will be jokes about it.
Men like to rattle women. Women like to spite a man.
Men like to share a knowing wink with another man.
Woman like to raise an eyebrow to another woman.

ALL OVER the world.

Even Doctors like to joke with patients as Susie featured in her latest blog post on Susie's Big Adventure.

Some will say this is a joking topic or some will say it's demeaning and hurtful and everyone is entitled to their opinions.

My own experience with this comes from family members and friends and random conversations I've overheard in English and Arabic.

Random comments:

SubhanAllah THIS GEM of a post is something everyone woman but more importnatly every man needs to study.
The basic rights of women to be treated like a dignified human being.  Islam gives us these rights. Allah our Creator has given us these rights.  STUDY THEM WELL.

I found this article on Pixie's I Love Hishma Blog.  I felt it was so important for women to know this information and I know Many women who DESPERATLY NEED to study this and copy it and print it out and leave it for their husbands to read;  So instead of just giving the link to Pixie's Blog and having you go there to read it I posted it here Including her introduction.  Because I know many of you are lazy readers and wont click and would be missing out on important information.  But Please do go to her Blog and check out the awesome fashions she discusses and Religious Issues.  :)



FROM PIXIE'S BLOG
"Since alot of women read this blog, I thought I'd share an interesting article written by a Sheikh I just read on a woman's rights over her husband. Most sites say, yada yada yada, this is the husband's rights over his wife in a dispute, and mashaAllah, these things are wonderful to know, but many women tell me that we have no rights over our husbands in disputes and the like, beyond financial things. This is not so, ya Rub!!!!!!


Now to the article (note: I didn't write it):

Q: I have frequently read what, according to Islamic teachings, a husband may or may not do in a dispute with his wife if he attributes it to disagreement with or misbehavior of his wife. I almost never read anything about the opposite situation: if the wife has a disagreement with her husband or *he* misbehaves. Things are nearly always told from the man's point of view! What are the wife's rights in the case of bad behavior of her husband?

A: Praise belongs to Allah the Lord of all the worlds. Blessings and Peace on the Messenger of Allah, and on his Family and all his Companions.

Allah ordered the believers to "consort with women in kindness" (4:19) and He said: "And of His signs are this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect" (30:21).

A Wife's Basic Rights Regarding Her Husband's Behavior

NOTE: This is distinct from her other rights regarding living expenditures, housing, clothing, and education of children. And from Allah comes all success.

1. The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her." This is an order of the Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa sallam, abbr. (s)] according to the hadith: "ahaqqu al-shuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj"

2. He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s) said: "No obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator" (la ta`atan li makhluqin fi ma`siyat al-khaliq).

3. He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation. The Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.

4. If she invites him to wake up and perform the late night prayer, it is praiseworthy for him to do so and vice-versa. The Prophet (s) prayed for such people: "May Allah grant mercy to a man who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up his wife, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face; may Allah grant mercy to a woman who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up her husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face."

5. He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay attention to his.

6. He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and her "friendship and mercy" (mawadda wa rahma), not the gratification of your every lust; and that the Prophet (s) advised young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to stimulate sexual passions. The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before approaching his wife and say: "O Allah, ward off the satan from us and ward him off from what you have bestowed upon us in the way of children" (allahumma jannibna al-shaytana wa jannibhu ma razaqtana). Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2:187), and the purpose of garments is decency. The Prophet (s) further said that he who marries for the sake of decency and modesty (`afaf), Allah has enjoined upon Himself to help him.

7. He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married couple.

8. He must strive with sincerity to acquire her trust, and seek her welfare in all the actions that pertain to her.

9. He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet (s) said that the best gift or charity (sadaqa) is that spent on one's wife.

10. If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part.

11. He must avoid excessive jealousy and remember that Allah is also jealous that he himself not commit. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not be excessively jealous of your wife lest evil be hurled at her on your account" (la tukthir al-gheerata `ala ahlika fa turama bi al-su'i min ajlik) and he said: "Allah is jealous and the believer is jealous; and Allah's jealousy is that the believer should not go to that which Allah has forbidden for him" (inna Allaha yagharu wa al- mu'minu yagharu wa gheerat Allahi in ya'tiya al-mu'minu ma harrama `alayhi).

12. He must protect her honor and not place her in situations where it is compromised or belittled. The Prophet (s) said that Allah will not ever let him enter Paradise who cares little who shares his wife's privacy. This includes the husband's brother, uncle, and nephew, let alone non-related friends, neighbors, and complete strangers.

13. He must exercise patience and forgiveness in the case of disagreement or dispute, and not rush to divorce. The declaration of divorce is a grave matter indeed, and the Prophet (s) said: "Of permitted matters the most loathesome before Allah is divorce" (abgh`ad al-halal `ind Allah al-talaq). In another hadith he said that divorce is so grave that because of it Allah's throne is made to shake. He said: "The best intercession [i.e. intervention of a third party] is that which brings back together the husband and the wife." Womanizing -- divorce for the purpose of marrying another woman out of sexual attraction incurs Allah's curse according to the hadith: "Allah's curse is on the womanizing, divorcing man" (la`ana Allahu kulla dhawwaaqin mutallaaq). Finally, even in the midst of and after divorce, Allah has prescribed kindness upon the man: "(After pronouncing divorce) she must be retained in honor or released in kindness" (2:228).

For the above-mentioned reason (i.e. to prevent the quickness of divorce), in his time, Ibn Taymiyya gave the ijtihad (juridical opinion) by saying that three talaqs in one sitting constituted only one. He did this to interdict the prevalent custom of suddenly giving three talaqs, which in his time was on everyone's lips, (i.e. had become so commonplace as to be a habit). However the other four schools of fiqh had the opposite opinion in this matter.

14. He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.

15. The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129). Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.

16. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not beat your wife." He also said: "Do not strike your wife in the face." The expiation for striking one's slave in the face is to set him or her free on the spot, but what expiation is there for striking one's wife? The Prophet (s) condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.

17. Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet (s) warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.

Conclusion

These are only some of the basic duties of the husband in Islam. The state of marriage is part of one's adherence to the Sunna and an exalted state of life indeed. In the words of the Prophet (s), it permits one to meet Allah "pure and cleansed" (tahiran mutahharan). One's behavior towards one's wife is the measure of the perfection of one's belief as the Prophet (s) said: "The most complete of the believers in his belief is he who perfects his manners, and the best of you in manners are those who act best towards their wives." Marriage must be approached with utmost seriousness, entered with the purest intent, and cultivated religiously as it does not come cheaply and it carries immense reward. The Prophet (s) called it "his way" (al-nikahu sunnati) and "half of religion" and he also said: "Two rak`at (prayer-cycles) of the married person are better than seventy rak`at of the unmarried." He also warned that among the greatest of responsibilities that had been placed upon men is that pertaining to the treatment of their wives.

And may Allah's blessings and peace be upon Muhammad,
his Family and all his Companions,
and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds

Jumping Religions and Marriages

ALLAHU AKBAR!!!! May Allah bless their family and make their marriage strong.

Long title short: I met Aalia last week!

Get some popcorn and come back, I'll wait, settle yourself comfortably.

After a crazy hecktic week of trying to finish my first final submitted art work for publication by the first deadline (YAY!) AND weaning my son before the 10th of July when he turned two LUNAR years, and staying cooped up in the house, I needed a break. Hubby was going to Abu Dhabi on business and offered to drop me off someplace. WHooo Hoo I called up Aalia and told her the good news. We went back and forth for the next 24hours deciding how and where to meet. I prepared everything I'd need for the long trip (2 hours) there with squirmy kids... food, toys, blankets (cause my daughter freezes with the AC on and my husband burns with it off, an epic car battle for AC control), and something for me to do on the way up there if my dream comes true and they sleep. I pack it all and put it by the door, get everything prepared. I have a 11am appointment to be at Aalia's house for lunch. I was determined to get there on time! By 9am me the kids were up and dressed and ready to hit the road. Hubby was still in bed........... 0_o
"It's 9am! We are going to the car!" I say pointedly. Hubby gets on the ball then announces we can not possibly be seen in AbuDhabi in our dusty sand strewn minivan. He has to manually wash the car himself..... I'm fuming at my timings ruined. So we sat in the van watching him wash it. The kids were bouncing all over the seats. I wore a very nice blouse since I wanted to look nice in Aalia's home where I figured we'd have the chance to take off hijabs, even matched my amber jewelry to the glossy brown shirt. It was starting to get hot though.... I thought about changing but my next best shirt was in the laundry. :( And... i had taken all that time to coordinate my not-often-worn jewelry. Normally I only wear it on Eid now that I have kids lol.
Naturally he then has to shower and change into something for business.... so at 10am we left and on the way he had to make copies of paper work he had forgotten to do the day before. So I call Aalia to let her know we are running late and we have a big confrence about our Lunch Location. LOL everytime we'd solidify something and I'd put the phone back in my bag and reach around to feed the kids she'd call again and change it..LMAo and I'd be jugling juice boxes and sandwhiches and hunting for my phone in the diaper bag/backpack of doom. She'd then announce a change of plans...hahaha... but it was alright. Finally we firmed up on going to Marina Mall. It's on the far west tip of AbuDhabi past the Presidential Palace, on a jut of sand. I folded my map happy I knew how to easily get there. Me and my maps, let me tell you, are inseperatable.
An hour into the ride the kids nod off after fighting over the pillows and blankets. Knew I shoulda brought four instead of two, silly me thinking two children need ONE blanket apiece.... rediculous. I sigh happily, my motherly duties satisfied and pull out a Sci-fi book I took half an hour to choose last night. I start reading it and get no further than the 8th page then I notice Hubby looking bored.... ah, time for wifey duties. I check the page number for mentally bookmarking (I never use bookmarks subhanAllah) and then tuck it back into my bag.
I strike up a cheery convo to make the ride and drive more tolerable. Not that the view isn't awesome with massive sand dunes everywhere you look but they border the highway with large trees and small shrubs to make you forget you are actually in a desert.
The main topic we chose is my future business after I finish this publishing project. We threw ideas and plans around much like a G8 Summit. Some ideas more sound than others. Most ideas begining with the phrase, "Ok well IF we had a million dirhams, what could we do?" LOL.
Eventaully the buildings get closer together and then they start growing like some Iincreadible Hulk Movie. They go from being maximum two stories high to 20 or 40 stories high...(ok I exagerate as I havn't actaully been in the massive building's elevators to see a button floor count).... still that is a funny thing my Husband noticed the first time we left AbuDhabi, you can tell your way out of the city by following your way to shorter buildings. HAHAHA.
I call Aalia to tell her I'm on the edge of the city so she can get ready. Our monetary discusion by that time has turned Islamic and we are loudly discussing our opinions and that wakes the kids up hehheh. They stare in wide-eyed wonder at the tall buildings. Ya gotta love seeing the world through the eyes of children.
As we continue North West towards the Mall we pass the Presidential Palace and as my daughter is obsessed with Princeses and such, I tell her "Look at that Castle! It's a Palace! The President is like a King (early political education there eh?)" Her eyes were HUGE saucers of awe..... Awww.... ;)
Finally we get down to Marina Mall and park. Realizing in all my careful planning I forgot the stroller. Oh well, they just napped and could use the walk. So Hubby withdraws 100dhs ($27usd) for me telling me to spend it carefuly (IE... stretch it out). YAY! So he takes off to head back out across the city. I have just enough time to get my kids to the bathroom, do a diaper change and a quick hair brushing before Aalia phones she's there. I return to the main entrance with butterflies in my tummy..... oh wow! Gonna finally meet her! After years of online talking.
Then I can't find her.... What the heck? I look around the main front circle looking for a niqabi or full face veiled sister with a toddler. Finally in a sitting area between the escalators I spot a cute little Toddler and nearby a glamorous Emirati dressed looking woman sitting casually on a bench, but she looked nervous (body posture, as her face was covered). Ah that must be her. As I walk up she stands and we finally greet each other and we give a very long (and over due) real hug. I'm just thrilled. She coos over my kids hehehe and I coo over her adorable son masha'Allah. I do take a moment to study him. A beutiful mix of Canadian/Emirati. Emirati nose and features but a softness that comes purly from Aalia. Adorable for sure!
We head off slowly towards the cafe she's planned us to eat at. Slowly because my son is almost 2 and has short little legs and he dawdles looking at everything. I point out the haram statues of a pretty dolphin fountain, they ohh and awe over the rainbow lights and colors. ;)
We fianlly get there and I'm surprised it's the same cafe featured on the ramadan TV feature Khalik Cool (Stay Cool) where they stage pratical jokes on people. The man from that show was imported from Lebanon where he made it big doing the same pratical jokes on the streets of Lebanon. Anyways, I inform Aalia of this trivia hehehe.
There are THREE waitresses standing around cooing over the kids (especially Aalia son). Then comes the hard part of finding a table. The waterfall looks pretty but Aalia's knowledge surpasses that idea that it's a bad place to sit. We wind up at a long table, her son in a high chair and mine on the large chairs with a donut shaped back. There is a group of four Emirati men chilling behind where I was sitting and three groups of Emirati men upstairs able to look down at our table. I mention this because on Aalia's blog Chasing Jannah she often mentions how they harass her and in Al-Ain there just aren't as MANY sunglasses-IN-the-Mall wearing Emirati men so I never throught it was SO BAD, and they were EVERYWHERE. Everytime she barilly got to peep her face veil up a bit some goon would walk by. Eventaully the upstairs men left and we got to play Musical Chairs and switch her to the other side of the table so she could lift it up but every two minutes some dude would be walking up behind her past our table and I'd have to warn her. Those DUDES ARE SO ANNOYING.. ...GET A LIFE CREEPS!!!!
Meanwhile my son is having fun leaving his chair and bringing me table settings from other tables (unoccupied alhamdulillah) and that is majorly distracting me from ordering and trying to decide what I want. SO much yummy stuff! I don't even remember to look at prices!
We ate the shrimp rolls, oh wow are they ever tasty! Then club sandwhiches (which we only managed half and saved the rest for later cause they were massive!) The kids had these yummy pizzas with fries, my daughter ate the pizza, my son ate the fries. As another family cleared out I finally got a baby chair and forced my son, kicking and screaming, into it. Distracted him with the the delicious thick mango juice. It was so big me and my kids could share it. Afterwards the kid meal comes with ice cream so she split hers with her son and I spilt mine with my kids.
After we chit chatted here and there about things we got the bill. Whoops I had forgotten her post on the cafe saying average bill was 80 dhs or so, and sure enough split between us it was 85 dhs each.... lol I heard my Hubby's voice in my head saying to make the money last.... ah well, so much for good intentions lol. I paid my half and we walked on around the mall a bit.

Now as much as I love wandering around malls with my kids it was very weird for me this time. It has been THREE yes 3, years since I went browsing malls or chilling at malls with another sister. My typical Malling means I hit every child related shop where they can explore toys or if they knock something over it wont cause me to pay damages. I don't go to Clothes shops, I don't go to Jewelry shops, I don't go to Make-up Shops....I don't go anywhere that I used to before I had kids (in the plural). One child is easy to manage in these kinds of shops but two or more no thank you. You're asking for trouble. So most of me was longing to hang and check out girly things like shoes and purses and glam glam thank you mam stuff.... the other part of me was wanting to head directly for the nearest kid store where the kids could roam and I could manage to talk more with Aalia. But she needed to buy a gift so we went over to an Accessories store (Jewelry) and my kids saw all those shiney things and went nuts! I nearly had to break their wrists in my firm grip on thier hands. Everytime I'd get something out of my daughter's hands explaining we didn't have jack money to buy anything no matter how beautifully princess or fairy themed it looked, my son would be picking out a pair of purple ballarina shoes for himself or a lovely fluffy pink tiara.....the dangling multi colored necklaces were too much for his hands to resist too. I spent my entire time dealing with them that when i fianlly got around to where Aalia was I had time to only make one comment about awesome swirley earings before we left. I sighed exhausted from pulling the kids along. Aalia having wheels on her son (stroller) was able to walk faster and LOL she's always have to slow up to match pace with my son. Thus the title of this post that I'm chasing her ;)
Despite the awkwardness I felt in Malling with a Sister after so long I loved hanging out with her. She's so sweet and funny. As we passed the Starbucks I randomly commented on Iced coffee searching for a common like with her when she swirls my arm around. And I'm just shocked by her surprising strong grip, she looks so dainty in the Emirati clothes. She orders me to have a coffee on her. Still shocked by that strength, no wonder she can chase down street beggars!!! I followed her in and we ordered. My kids were tiring out by then and were thirsty but the water at Starbucks was 6 dirhams for a dinky little bottle!!!! The same size bottle in Al-AIn costs 1dhs and at Malls 2dhs. So I refrained from buying any until consumed by guilt with my kids begs for water I had to spend 5 of my last 15dhs on a bottle of water from a different cafe. They guzzled it down and poof it was gone! Later as we passed the same area Aalia wanted to rest and I had to fork over 6dhs for the Starbucks water as the kids were dying of thirst again. I tucked the water in my bag though so it would last longer if they didn't see it. I had three large full bottles of cold water in our van! The next day when I told my husband about the water prices he looks over the bottle and goes..."cause it's imported from SCOTLAND!!!" YA ALLAH!!! Ah well, six dirhams for a taste of my ancestors homeland I guess isn't so bad :p
We also stopped down stairs at the masjid to pray Thuhr. ARG my kids were so BADLY behaved I was embarrassed. They were taking all the prayer rugs and laying them out in all directions while I Prayed and then running in circles around them and my daughter was hopping from one to another like in her movie 12 dancing princess where they hop from stone to stone....UGH! I had a serious talk with her after folding all the carpets back up about Masjid behavior. We go over it many times but it never seems to sink in that she really shouldn't run around crazy in a masjid. Everytime I tell her the story I made up about a fictional girl being naughty in the masjid she says she'll never be like that, then enter a real masjid and poof, story forgotten...
By now Aalia's gone out of the masjid and I have to chase her down again hehehe. Finally as I stare around the mall wondering where she dissapeared to she pops up out of nowhere. LOL scared me a bit! We head back upstairs. By then it's 4pm and we are all tired and worn out. She calls for her ride and I call my Husband. He's not ready to pick me up until Maghrib. I'm stuck at this Mall with 4 dhs, a half bottle of water, and two tired kids......... Lovely Aalia graciously takes pity on me on me and invites me to go with her back to her house. Alhamdulillah cause I woulda had to resort to filling the water bottle from the bathroom sinks LOL. We have a wonderful chat on the way to her house. Finally we get inside out of the sticky humid heat of abu dhabi and I really was not happy with my blouse sticking to me. I will never wear it again there EVER! We break out the take-outs of the Club Sandwhiches and have a snack cause the kids are starving again. My kids eat or drink every hour it seems.
AND I KID YOU NOT, I HAD THE BEST TASTING FRESH LEMONADE EVER MADE IN THE WORLD!!!! I COULD NOT STOP DRINKING IT!!!!! Aalia you'd make a fortune getting that stuff bottled and selling it for 10dhs a piece. Hehehe. We had sooo much fun laughing at the kids. They were zooming around the living room an fighting over one large yellow lego piece. My kids were just happy to fianlly get to run around with him cause he was napping in the stroller in the mall about half way through. He was having mixed feelings about these kids running through his house and touching his toys. LOL he was getting agressive (jealous as most kids that age are when other kids enter their territory) which my son hates but it's ok it all worked out well and was completly understandable. I just felt bad cause Aalia wanted a nap but didn't want to be rude by going off to sleep so she stuck it out. LOL We just lounged around drinking lemonade and laughing at the kids who had all this amazing pent up energy! My daughter stopped to rest and struck up a long conversation with Aalia about movies lol.
From the window Aalia pointed out to me the famous beggar chase scene. It was hilarious imagining her running below through all the cars! Eventaully my husband called saying he was ready to get us so I got out my trusty map and guided him the way and then the sad part came where I had to bid Aalia goodbye. Aww her son was so upset. I was sad too, when would I get the chance to get back to Abu Dhabi and chill out again? Probably not anytime soon :( . With another warm hug and cheek kisses we left. Certainly a wonderful Sister, Aalia is. Cannot say enough good things about her.
When I got downstairs my husband was missing!!! He had gone off to pray while i was saying goodbyes. I had prayed Asr at her house so I didn't need to follow him to the masjid. What was up with people disspearing on me! Hehehe. I circled the building looking for our van. Finally I found it and loaded the kids in. When Hubby returned he said he was starving, kids said they were too. I was so full of lemonade I certainyl wasn't, so we went off to find the nearest McDonalds or other fast food. We finally found one and had a bite. The kids had so much fun playing in the tubes in the kid's playground. I can't belive they still had so much energy after running with Aalia's son!!! I ate an ice cream while they played. After all the lemonade i needed something creamy lol.
This McD's was FULL of asians. We were the only non asians in the place and for some reason half of them kept staring at us... so weird! One even slyly took my pic with her camera phone..... WTHECK!!! First Emirati men now asians? Do poeple in Abu Dhabi have a staring problem? I never get this in Al-Ain..... We finally hit the road again. After a half an hour the kids slept and I covered them with blankets and pulled open my book only to find Hubby getting sleepy at the wheel.... I looked at page 9 and closed it and struck up a convo about business again. We chatted all the way back to Al-Ain. The kids wanted to wake up and play...we put our foot down though cause we were so tired and went to sleep.
That was my crazy and wonderful trip to AbuDhabi and meeting the awesome Aalia.

Believe me this story could have been longer but I left out many details lol. It could have been shorter too like Aalia's version on her blog (look for the cute cat picture), but I wanted not only her to see what was in my head all day but for evryone to see what happens when two bloggers meet up. :D
Actaully it was hard sometimes to think of what to say because we already know the same old questions of past history because we have it on our blogs lol. But we had fun!

Love ya Aalia, can't wait to get to Abu Dhabi again or you come down to Al-Ain..... if you come don't forget the Lemonade k. ;)

Whoa it has been so long since I blogged... can't really believe it myself I've been away so long. Here's a bunch of randoms thoughts...

But I have great news to share!

I'm getting published!!!!

Can't leak details yet but I will have 2 short story islamic Fiction published and three poems and 6-8 artworks published!!! YAY!

So that is what I have been working on the past few months. April saw the contest for 1 short story and a poem, May I worked on another short story (well two really but I couldn't finish the second in time) and two more poems. June has seen the emergence of an artist :D I've been working hard at designing some black and white drawings (which is not an easy medium to work in).

I signed my first legal Publishing forms yesterday and gotta get them into the mail this week. YAY!

Sometimes I enjoy those milestones where I sign my name at the bottom line...getting my own bank account, my own apartment, marriage contract, passports for my children, publishing deals. There is just an immense satisfaction in writing my name at the end of months of work.

On the personal side of things, I'm working on completing a long to-do list that I promised myself I would complete BEFORE I try to open my own business. Seems the time is ripe for having my own shop and researching for this business is way down on the bottom of my list. I don't want to overwhelm myself with too much stuff which is why I made myself this promise. When the check list is completed only then will I take the plunge. It's not necessarily a hard list with items like :
Sort and file papers that are cluttered in the book shelf.
Sort out the medicines (which have been stuffed in bags and piled up for years) and I just finished this chore yesterday.
Wean my son.

He's almost at the two lunar year mark and I gotta figure out a strategy to wean him without it being torment for either of us. He's so severely attached ever since i tried to wean him back in April. But I cannot be trying to make business deals with a toddler trying to undo my jilbab, not at all professional eh?

So slowly I'm getting there....

I made this month's chart for my daughter long ago for her Homeschooling and it has the names of the month vertically listed with a season symbol next to it. I made it back in December of last year. How far away June and July felt. With their bright yellow sun symbol. Even March,April,May with the raindrop symbol seemed ages, now they are gone. I have accomplished so many goals this year yet still I feel it's all moving too slow on the home front. I still struggle with my ADD everyday to get things done quickly and orderly. Nearly everything on my to-do-list has to do with my home. Because I don't feel I can be successful outside my home if the inside is chaos. So I'm still trying to Calm my chaos.

Today's chore will be going through the kid's toys and weeding out old ones they don't even look at anymore and donating them to charity.

I love PEZ Candy toys, they come in favorite characters my kids love like Tigger, Pooh, Pirates, Tinkerbell Fairies, and the best part is islamically they are good because they don't have bodies. they are hollow with just a head on top that opens. And they double to serve a special treat when the kids have been good, suddenly they will open the pez that has stood empty for ages and find candy inside...hehehe i love that game.

One of my friends is leaving the country soon and she gave me a lot of her children's toys and her daughter's clothes. her daughter is 8 and mine is 4 and I was so happy to get these hand me downs because they fit my daughter perfectly, masha'Allah she's so tall, and now I don't have to buy her new clothes for a long while. Maybe til next year.
Ah my daughter, what interesting things we've been up to. I've always tried to steer her to some tough sports like sword fighting, martial arts, but alas she has alas succumbed to the age old tradition of wanting to be a girlie pink ballerina dancer. *sigh* I'm loathing having purchased "The twelve dancing princesses" she suddenly become a barbie movie addict. But at least so far Barbie doesn't have lengthy kissing scenes like Disney does. I mean really have you ever realized how long or deeply Pocohontas is kissing John Smith before Kocoum comes to battle him? It's embarrassing! I'm like Sweetie, come tell me what this is and how it works (to any random toy in the room) to distract her from the movie scene. The barbie movie, after they got married it just showed them holding hands. Much better..... arg everytime they ask for a Disney movie I just feel I'm corrupting my children..... but I explain things along the way Islamically, like we don't do this, or this is not right to do, we don't dress like this (ala Jasmine, Pocohontas) etc.... it's so hard walking the line between cultures.
She's reading really well though. I'm so proud of her!

We are having a new schedule where their father takes one child with him to pick up his workers from the worksite so that leave me with quality one on one time with a child to enhance their bonding time and learning time. it's really been working out well. And boy is it calming to have one kid in the house again. I feel much better so that when the second child returns happy from their excursion with Baba I can warmly and honestly happily greet them.

Also more good news as of June, my husband quit his last job and was able to get a financial backer to open his own business. So now he's the boss with his own working hours, which has been weird to have him home so often but nice too. The kids are happy to have him around more too. Although on the slight downside I have to have the house more tidier than it used to be. Instead of letting them muck it up with their toys and doing a mass cleaning twice a day before Baba gets home I'm constantly having to pick things up as they knock them down... a little exasperating when I just wanna get through my to-do list but still... at least we get to see his kind face more... :D Also money has been even more tight without him having a boss to fall back on in times of need. So we are just struggling along making sure we have a roof over our heads and a food from each step of the food pyramid to eat everyday, well for our kids to eat everyday, we tend to miss a few steps everyday...but that is life, sacrificing for your children. Alhamduliallah.

My parents were worried because I haven't been bloggin for so long LOL. So Mom this update is for you too :)

So I'm doing overall pretty well. Some days better than others but still... I'm here and that is better than the alternative :D

As for all of those wonderful sisters waiting for me to add them to the All Muslimah Blog Directory, thank you for being patient, it's been crazy these last few months. I'm working on setting down a day to add everyone (en mass). So bare with me and keep checking out other sister's blog and supporting them.

I appreciate all the comments' I've gotten on my blog recently! masha'Allah. I apologise I don't get much time to comment back but I appreciate reading them and posting them for others to read.

For my beautiful sistas on Ivory Rouge, bare with me too hon, I'm trying to get time set aside again to get back into the blogging swing to read all your blogs again. I see sometimes titles you posted and it makes me smile but I haven't gotten the chance to get around to comment properly :( forgive me. Well that goes for all of you bloggers really too, I'm trying to find time to comment more. Fro some weird reason my PC shuts down access to certain blogs. Rudely the ones that are my favorites. ARG! So it takes ages to load and then get through the messed up graphics it loads and the error signs, then finally I get to read the post and then i gotta run off and do something before I get to comment.....pssshh the computer world is so crazy sometimes.

As if I didn't have enough stuff to do with my time, FaceBook has caught me and sucked me into it's depths. it's been nice meeting old acquaintances I knew from Tucson again, and meeting up with new people I know from writing, blogging, and the Islamic Writer's Alliance group (IWA) that I joined. You can add me under the name BRANDY AZ CHASE ... which is the new pen name I've decided to have, the AZ standing of course for Aminah-Zahira, my islamic name.

So that's what I've been up to recently and I had to just gush it out or it would never get said, I have dozens of post ideas waiting of the time to write them and post them but for now they must wait int eh back of my mind on my mental to-do list :p

Love ya All and miss going to your blogs.
Brandy AZ Chase ;) :D

My husband calls me up and I'm sleeping... I'm expecting him to say "Please before I get home can you have this or that done in the house" when he surprises me!


"Is it possible for you to do some landscape designing today? I want you to make a new house design by Maghrib to submit to a possible client."





Woooo HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(by the way i was looking on google for a good pic for this post and typed in obedient and found this amazing plant that perfectly ties in with my landscape designing and duty to my husband: The Obedient Plant [Physostegia Virginiana] amazing, apparently it's bendable and stays how you bend it.... hmmm do you think Muslim men are gonna start growing these?)