1:41 PM

The Big Polygamy Joke

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

Polygamy is common in Islam and sometimes causes stress or disturbance to the families involved and other time i causes bliss.  Either way it's a big issue not only in Western society but in the Arab society.

Many times with any big issues there will be jokes about it.
Men like to rattle women. Women like to spite a man.
Men like to share a knowing wink with another man.
Woman like to raise an eyebrow to another woman.

ALL OVER the world.

Even Doctors like to joke with patients as Susie featured in her latest blog post on Susie's Big Adventure.

Some will say this is a joking topic or some will say it's demeaning and hurtful and everyone is entitled to their opinions.

My own experience with this comes from family members and friends and random conversations I've overheard in English and Arabic.

Random comments:

"I know what will get you to excersize more, another wife or two."

"No problem if he doesn't like my food he can always eat lunch at HER house instead and save me the trouble."

"I have a headache, don't you have another wife or something to go to?"

Man whispering to another man suddenly hold up four fingers and waggles them meaningfully and the other man bursts out laughing.  *(if wife is there she's glowering in the background)*

"There's always Chinese, Russian, American, Egyptian." Man says to another man laughing.  His wife turns to the other man's wife and whispers, "There is always divorce and then an American, Chinese, Italian, or Russian!"

Woman to Woman "Why let your husband marry an Austrian (insert any Nation)? Can't you die your hair blonde, braid it in two, wear Hiedi clothes, and yodel?"

So no matter where you are and the topic comes up either roll with the flow offering your own tastefully appropriate jokes back, or if you are against joking about Poly then have your own Quips or Zingers to fire back putting the other person in the know of your opinion of the topic. Either way the topic will come up someday and it's better you prepare yourself then sit there stewing looking hurt.  Sometimes the men purposly like to rattle women and by showing calmness and confidence in your status it takes them down a peg or two.

3 intelligent thoughts:

Anonymous said...

salam sis.. now this post i can relate too.. masha'Allah and you are right.. composer is everything...

and Trust in Allah SWT....

Anonymous said...

Somtimes it's a joke and sometimes it's not. I wouldn't put myself in this position.

Know the law before you go. What rights do you have if he does add a second wife? Can you remain in the country to be near your children or will you be deported if you devorce him?

American Muslima Writer said...

Absolutly Minty,
Alhamdulillah finally a post down your alley eh :D

You are correct a woman and man need to know their rights and get it all in writting BEFORE the marraige and put it into the Marriage contract, especially before you have children.

There are many happily married poeple in Poly and there are miserable people in Poly, there are benefits to Poly and there are those that abuse it for their own greed.

So it pays to find out everything you can about this and how to protect yourself and your future or current children.

Most important is being comfortable and happy with yourself no matter what a man does to you.

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