6:39 PM

Mental and Nervous Breakdown

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

Gosh what a scary sounding thing to happen to someone.

And it is, scary.

SO I wont be posting for a while, not that I've been posting much lately anyways but now even less so...

See ya insha'Allah when things are brighter.

7:30 AM

Blog Books

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

WHOA can you already see this being a big market someday!
How awesome, I've always wanted some of my better posts in a book :D

Very cool tool for writers wanting publishing credentials, can get their words done up nicely and show editors or anyone.

I might sell mine for $40. Because it's not like they can get it on the internet for free.....

Friends are something nearly everyone has to some degree. Some have acquaintances others have social circles they frequent others have deep best friend type relationships.

I've always had my small pack of close intelligent wonderful friends, not too many, not too few. Wherever I go it may take a few months but eventually I manage to make a close friend and then from there find a social circle.

This time around in UAE I found small social circles but couldn't really find that one true person I was absolutely close to. It's been a frustrating and lonely road for me to walk. Sometimes I'd go a week or two without seeing any other sisters or talking to them IN PERSON. Sure I always have my blog and you all out there saved me from madness at times but you know there is nothing like a good face to face.

Just before Ramadan this woman called me having found me on the Homeschooling network I'm in. We chatted and it was nice to talk to someone but I never figured she'd actually meet up with me and we'd get any hanging out time. She's a busy mother of seven kids after all. But I was pleasantly surprised to get her call the next day, and the next, and the next, and you guessed it, the next!

Eventually we did indeed meet up. Our families met and we all hit it off just fine masha'Allah. But I'm not just writing about this experience to say Yay I got a new friend, (well I might sneak one Yay in there....YAY!!!! ) but to let you know that ONE person can drastically change the quality of your life. For better or worse.

My soul is forever searching for the straight path and ways to stay on it and mostly with my social circles I get easily persuaded to their lifestyles. But when asking my new friend about the problems in my life she had not only new answers but Allah allowed THROUGH her for me to FIND answers. Sorry if confusing, let me backtrack.

I got the chance to spend the night at her house one evening. All day I could feel my soul changing, learning, accepting things. That night I still didn't have the answers to my greatest problem but I had hope I'd soon find it, somehow. I couldn't sleep and her house was quiet. I thought about reading Qur'an so I went to her bookcase and browsed the Titles searching for something inspiring. I found a little book, gosh, can't remember the title, but it's about the Love and worship of Allah. I eagerly settled onto her couch and lulled by the AC dripping water like my own personal waterfall I opened the book. Only a few pages in, my world was flipped upside down.

I realized the extent of what I was missing in my life and how to fix it. Shivers literally crawled over my entire body a few times as I took in a new way to appreciate Allah and Islam.

I stayed up all night reading that book cover to cover. I finished it at 3:30am and went to wake my friend for her Sahour since she wanted to continue her fastings before Ramadan and as she prepared things I told her about how this book had effected me. She offered for me to fast with her that day but I was still reluctant.

I had been DREADING Ramadan coming, not for the Fasting but for feeling the guilt of missing prayers during the Holy Ramadan. Then a few of her daughters filed in to eat and start their fasting too. Suddenly I was surrounded by righteous Muslimahs. The tender feeling of being part of the Muslim Ummah over took me and inspired me to fast with them that day. It was wonderful. But even better than spending the day with her family and getting to know them more was the effect they had on my life.

From that day on I haven't missed a single prayer.

Allah gave me a friend who gave me exactly what I needed, not only a close companion but a way for me to better myself for HIS sake. Instead of giving me quantity, He gave me Quality.

All I can say for that is Alhamdulillah and SubhanAllah.

Thank you Allah for giving me this wonderful friend who never fails to encourage me to better myself for Your Sake.
Thank you my Friend for giving me time in your busy life, may Allah reward you and grant all your du'as.

1:18 PM

IT's WAR on Malaria Again....

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

So last year I told you my husband and his brother got Malaria here in UAE where there wasn't supposed to be any LOCAL Malaria.

Cue 10 months later (ie, a few weeks ago) and my brother in law comes down with the same Malaria symptoms and sure enough his Malaria returned, not four days later my husband's symptoms started. Neither of them got bit again, there is a strain of Malaria called VIVAX, this one is a clever girl.

When the heat rises and the antibodies are running mad trying to stem the red blood cell slaughter she is wrecking, she bids a swift retreat into the Liver to wait 2-10 months before re-emerging to continue her conquest for total domination.
This can occur from 2-5 years over and over again needing swift treatment each time.

So that is the joy we battled at the begining of Ramadan where I said a fond goodbye to my blog for a time to consintrate on the family more and take care of poor Hubby.

Now he has finished his medications and today he took a blood test to see if there are any traces left in him. But The test can be a false hope. She could have retreated back to her Liver Lair to wait another year. We are making du'a that this Trojan Horse doesn't return.

But this has been reason #1 for my lack of blogging recently :)

As you all know I've been working from one project to another during the last five months in hopes to follow my dream and be an Author. God Willed for me to have success this year at last.

With the (IWA) Islamic Writers Association's Poetry and Islamic Short Story Contests back in April I was fueled to enter them. I worked all month on my Islamic Short Story titled Pirate's Peace. It was my first short story and my first Islamic Story. Completing it was an amazing experience in the writing process. I honed my skills in editing and re-writing and enjoying the look of a polished finished project. I took a deep breath and was about to submit my story when a fellow blogger and mentor and most of all a Friend, Sister Safiyyah from Shaalom 2 Salaam, introduced me to IWA. I became a member just in the nick of time to submit my story under the Membership Category.

I was thrilled, not only was my work being considered but it was now on a level of other famous Islamic Authors. Ahem, it was a tad intimidating too. But the IWA is a warm welcoming group and I'm so privileged to be a member of it.

They then announced in May they were going to make an Anthology and members were encouraged to submit more work in Poetry and Islamic Short Stories. I turned back to the drawing board and wrote two new poems, searching deep within for subjects that I love about Islam. Then I had to write two fresh stories. I began one called A Proud Portrait, but the characters needed extra time for development and a sounder plot than it would take to write in half a month, so I left it be for now realizing a better story later would be better than an unpolished one now. I worked meanwhile on another story called Real Meaning of Ramadan. I finished it and got it polished just in time for the deadline and happily sat back with a sigh having completed three poems and two short stories in two months.

I thought now, I can relax a little, work on some organizing in my house, you know the old spring cleaning everyone puts off for "tomorrow". When in June the IWA announced it wanted Artists to make interior illustrations for the Anthologies. Oh how I bit my lip, finger hovered over the button to reply. I was no professional artist. Sure my family liked my work but would I have the confidence and willpower to start and finish and professionally edit my own art work? Time kept ticking and I realized my chance to feature another of my talents was about to slip away and did as I usually do and jump in with both feet. I signed myself up to make 6, yes six, designs. The format was black and white which I had never done before except in sketching, but I loved the look of black and white designs.

I spent the next few weeks researching every aspect in how to achieve the clearest black and white drawings and then bought several different pens and markers to achieve the looks I wanted. Everything came together fluidly over the next three months. I used every available moment of spare time to complete them. With two small kids I'm sure many of you are laughing, what spare time? But sometimes it was one day, make one line, the next day have time for a quarter of the page, another day to finish it off, then following day would get me another two lines. But I learned a lot about pacing myself and when to put in that extra push for time. Some days I'd discourage and would think I couldn't do SIX! IN TIME! But I'd remember how good it felt finishing off my first Short Story.

Every drawing of the six was so uniquely different with a different artistic talent to master; the flow of clothing, the minute details, the geometric angles I hadn't made since 10th grade geometry class. It was amazing the techniques I found I could do.

Now I submitted my last design in August and took a really deep breath. I had indeed done it. It had taken five months of work but well worth it for what I learned about myself and my talents.

I especially realized unlike many artists I am NOT into painting as much as I am into drawing with marker or crayon. I like making those bold black lines. My next idea as an artist is to try Stained Glass designs with first bold colors per pane then perhaps textured or mixed colors per pane. I want to experiment with my oil pastels as they were my favorite long ago. Also perhaps a nice set of markers or colored pencils would do for the interior colors. We will see what the coming year brings for me.

But I do give myself permission to think differently and be different than what people box and label others with. We all have inner talents and we should strive to hon them not to blindly copy what the rest of the world does. My flair with a paint brush is okay but not brilliant, so there is no reason I should force myself to use that medium in my future art.

Lessons well learned by time and devoted energy.

So stay tuned for my announcements of when the two Anthologies will be published and I will officially be an Author and an Artist.

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