6:51 AM

Don't be a Cow

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

"Why don't those third world nations close their legs!"
"People should stop being irresponsible by having babies when already the world is taxed for space, food, homes, and jobs!"
"Why bring more children when there are already millions of orphans and needy people in the world to help!"
"They are just trying to bulk up their population stats!"

Yet it is our right by God, the One and only Creator, who Shaped us and Gave us our bodies to have children. He gave the woman a perfect garden bed and man a perfect seed. It is not only there for us to use but it is part of our nature and the circle of life to have children. So statements like those above from pseudo-intellectuals really get on my nerves.
Impoverished nations still have men and women who have their rights to have children. God provides for each child with ease. Sometimes if you're so impoverished like Darfur it is all you have left to give to your community, to try to raise up the populations from death. Who will care for the elderly and the ill if suddenly everyone stopped having babies? Who will people marry? Entire civilizations could collapse without children. Also, who said the "first world" countries have more right to have children than "third world"? Are their people so much more worthy? Are their wombs so much more pure? Or is it all in their heads about money.
Ah, the money. This is it then. They think they have more money they can afford the larger families. Yet look at the average American household. The oft quoted "2.5 kids per family".
First they have one child and dote on it endlessly then another comes along and the chaos is suddenly overwhelming. I mean you have school and work and homes to balance and hobbies and vacations. More children mean more time and American certainly has no time for large families. Few who venture to have that third baby whether planned or not are the ones who change the average to 2.5. People just look with wonder at those who have 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and more children. They are one of the wealthier nations and yet they have some of the smallest families. Hollywood stars have millions. They could literally afford dozens of children yet Bragalina couples are rare.
Many times people scoff at these big families and sneer behind their backs that they are being irresponsible. Yet though there are indeed millions of orphans and needy people that doesn't mean you can't have your own too. We are highly recommended to take in orphans and help those in need in addition to our rights to have our own families.
Something I admire here in Emirates is the large families at the mall. I stare in wonder as family after family pass me by with five to seven children walking around a couple. Masha'Allah. I never see this in America. Usually at the mall you have lots of adults holding the hands of one or two kids and then the rare family that have a gaggle (whom everyone stares at).
Another note is look at the societal problems that you face like in China where they are limited to only having sometimes one or max two children. Babies aborted, girls thrown out to orphanages to keep boys for the family name, boys tossed out to orphanages to keep girls for their rarity, men stuck unable to marry from lack of women. In Russia you have declining populations and not enough women to bare the brunt. The plague of society problems will never cease. Why? Denial of basic human rights from God.
Someone dear to me broke my heart once saying "Your daughter has brains in her head don't let her grow up to be a cow." As if being a cow, who's job in nature is to have babies and give them milk, is something to detest in favor of letting my daughter grow up lonely with no children at her feet yet a PHD on her wall and presumably more money in her pockets. As if happiness cannot be attained by having many children. I think it takes more brains to have many children and raise them correctly than it does to go through schooling, get PHD, get a job, and work for the rest of your life. When you come home to an empty house at the end of the work day where is the joy of mischievous grins to greet you? When you have many children you have to learn more diplomatic skills than an Ambassador.
Yet still, women with many children are looked down upon in "high society".
Sorry, but for me, children are blessings from God.
We are told in Islam that some people are given much money and others many children as a form of wealth. These wealth are a test for us in this life. So next time you see a large family realize they are being highly tested by God.
It is our Right. Watch out world, I have a womb and I'm willing to use it.

7 intelligent thoughts:

Yasmeen said...

I totally agree with you sister,children are the most precious wealth one can possess.

Lisa said...

Very nice post American Muslima Writer. It looks like you've been reading my blog as well which I greatly appreciate. Very nice picture of the babies. It goes nicely with your post. Though we have very different lifestyles, I admire you as a mother. So I wanted to let you know that your the only one who won't let me follow your blog. And that's ok. And yes I was a little hurt. I'm wondering if maybe you wrote the anonymous comments on Hijabee's blog. If you did, you couldn't be further from the truth. I don't seek to change your mind. There is a reason which I won't say why I want you to stay Muslim. I love you for the sake of God and wish the best for you.

always in the kitchen said...

I agree,wonderful post!There's something wrong with a world that doesn't welcome children.....

Michelle said...

"I mean you have school and work and homes to balance and hobbies and vacations."

What's wrong with that? Working women are people too and their families deserve vacations and hobbies. And I'm sorry but here in the U.S. the vast majority of working moms cannot afford maids and nannies so yes we have to balance homes too.

I respect a woman's right to stay at home and raise a family. I do. I think it's a noble thing to do. However, not everyone is cut out to do so, nor do they have the desire to. I know of many married couples who are childless by choice. Not all women have a maternal instinct. Many are very much satisfied with their careers, friends and extended families.

Their way is not your own, and hopefully being and identifying yourself as American you will understand my point. Please don't put down women who chose another path.

No one is denying that children are blessings, but I'd rather limit myself to two with an excellent outlook than 6 with nothing to offer. I'm not saying that's always the case, but here in the states there are different standards for middle-class children: sports, hobbies,religion, high grades, college, etc. And lately, the Bachelorate has become the new high school diploma, so yes, perhaps even a PhD. I ,for one, would find it far beyond my abilities to provide this for any more than 2 or 3 kids. God bless whoever can.

American Muslima Writer said...

Yasmeen, Absolutly!!!

Always Kitchen: exactly, something very very wrong indeed!

American Muslima Writer said...

Michelle sorry dear but you took everything the wrong way.
First off I was saying that WITH such commitments most people in America don't have TIME for big families and although there is NOTHING wrong with that those very poeple should understand that there are people that DO want big families and that they DO have them. It wasn't a post attacking small families it was a Post to encourage others to see the beauty of many children. I know many remain childless by choice and there is nothing wrong with that. Those who are satisfied with less feeling it's more by all means go ahead. I'm just saying that poeple should rely upon God to provide for those other children and not automatically assume they wouldn't be able to support more children. Your life could suddenly change and you'd come into more money. Life is always changing and to deny that you'd ever have enough money is doubt in God that He can provide.
So I'm not putting down women who choose less kids I'm puting down those WHO PUT DOWN OTHERS FOR HAVING MANY KIDS.
I hope this clarifies things. If not by all means let me know.

Sarah said...

The thing is, if we (the human race) don't limit our reproduction, then the earth's resources will. People have throughout most of history reproduced freely; what kept the population down was harsh living conditions (how many of the prophet's children died before reaching adulthood for example?) These days with modern medical advances, we may be better able to survive, but this population growth is not sustainable in the long run (unless you believe in miracles!) - sooner or later there will be huge global food shortages, probably a lot more wars over limited resources, not to mention catastrophic climate change caused by our rapid consumption of resources, which are arguably even worse ways for kids to die. On average, you can't have population growth indefinitely without some tragedy.

I agree with you that the 2.5 children model was never the norm historically and is perhaps in some ways dysfunctional. And I understand you wrote this post because you were offended at the ignorant disdain some people have towards large families. But the sentiments you actually quoted at the top of the post could be understood as simply taking the logical and compassionate position that it's better if the human race learns to limit its own growth than allowing it to happen eventually in more horrible ways that we can't control. Of course you are entitled to take the opposite view.

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