American Muslima Writer -Daring to Work Towards Jannah

I received many e-mails from people I used to know in USA and all over the world and sometimes even Muslims send me these jokes they THINK are funny. But after reading them I'm disgusted. I delete them immediately despite the dire warnings I may loose 15 friends if I don't forward it in 15 minutes to 15 people. These jokes are not funny. They are gross errors on the part of lowly humans who attempt to Humanize our beloved Noble God. Who is free from all things they attribute to Him not befitting His station as our Creator.

The following jokes are NOT funny, do not laugh at them. I'm posting them highlighted with the terrible parts to educate those who may find nothing wrong with such words. Liking and laughing at these is a great sin and some even consider it to be Blasphemy which takes you out of Islam.


An Engineer in Hell
An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place."
So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.
One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

This "joke" First of all Quotes God as saying something that was not authenticatedly know to be true. This is sooo wrong.
Second God does not NEED a telephone.
3rd Facial expressions are not befitting God especially base ones like sneering and face clouding over with anger.
4th God makes NO MISTAKES. If someone will go to Hell it is their proper place not a mistake. God is free from all ERROR.
5th Satan has no powers to send people to Hell or Heaven. Only God has the Al-Mighty Power to Judge between Men.
6th God has access to all of HIS creation. And it is Easy for Him.
7th No one in Hell will have a chance to improve it. They will be too busy being tortured repeatedly for perhaps eternity (depending on their religious status). But jokes like this involving Hell and Satan showing it to be a place of fun and enjoyment are wrong and let people think sinning is ok because Hell is not a bad place to wind up. WRONG!


God is watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Now this one is not as obvious. You have to look deeper and harder. Since God IS always Watching there is no problem with this reference about taking one apple. But the punchline is an uncertainty since it encourages people to think that God is not capable of watching two things which is wrong. Yet the fact that it comes from the mouth of a child makes it not an obvious bad thing because children are not knowledgeable about the attributes of God in a clear way. So this joke can be somewhat enjoyable but I still wouldn't forward it because I don't know who might get the wrong message and think God is not capable of watching two things.


He who is without sin
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"

Firstly Jokes also about Messengers and Prophets are not to be taken lightly even if it isn't our direct prophet Muhammad. We respect and love Prophets Jesus and Moses just as much and more so than the "followers of them". (Though they were both on the Path of Islam.)
Second this is not an authenticated thing that happened.
3rd although presumably there can be a miracle where a stone does fall from the sky by Allah's will normally this would not happen. So this part of it is more mixed.
4th The last of course is terrible. Calling our great God "Dad" is demeaning. I understand the Christians love of the use of the word "Father" and though I disagree with why they use it to further reduce it to Dad is degrading. Also it makes Prophet Jesus sound like a whiny child which is demeaning because he was not.

So you can see from these few examples we must be wary of what we deem as funny. Though here are examples of good humor to use:

Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!

Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny!

What's striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs!

There once was a teacher who passed out cookies to all the students.
"Only eat these where no one can see you. Whoever has any cookies left over bring it to class tomorrow." All the kids took their cookies home.
The next day only one child showed up holding his cookies. "So where did you all eat them at?" the teacher asked.
"In my bedroom, under my bed" said a small boy.
"In my closet," said a small girl.
"Up a tree." said another small girl.
"And you? Why didn't you eat your cookies?" The teacher asked smiling.
"Well," replied the small boy, "I looked in all those places and I took all day looking for a place but everywhere I went I knew Allah (God) could see me."
"Correct! None of you should have eaten your cookies. Allah saw all of you eating them."


There are times for humor and times to be serious and things to be humorous about and things that are ok to joke about. Sarcasm though widely used as humor these days is not allowed. Not allowed is making fun of someone in a degrading way. We must strive to better ourselves even in these small ways. We don't want the Joke to be on us later.