If You've been to Al-Ain, at the Al-Jimi Mall, AKA Carrefour Mall, and you go upstairs to the bookshop; continue in and go to the back of the store, but WATCH OUT! There is a step that is blended into the flooring! Or there used to be! Until they fixed it. It now says "pls watch your step!" in silver handmade foil. HANDMADE. Did you get that part? Let me tell you how that sign came to be.
When I was first here in UAE and I went to the bookstore with my friend. The salesman was all smiles and exuberant in his duties to help us. We had paid for our things, ok lol she paid for her things and I watched her, and as we were leaving I really couldn't see where I was going because the floor didn't look like it had a step and I was wobbly and not seeing my feet cause my son was still growing larger by the day in my tummy. I totally tripped over my own feet (not uncommon even when I'm not preg) and nearly fell into a pile of books. The salesman looked so astonished. And when I almost fall I let out a kinda loud screech. "Whoa!" I say embarrassed. "That's dangerous! You should have a sign warning people about that step! I'm pregnant and that could have been really bad if I'd fallen." He put on the most appeasing smile he could muster.
"Ohh don't worry! I will make a sign today! Just for you! Come tomorrow you will see it! It'll be just for you! No one will ever fall again ok. Just for you!" he kept smiling at me and staring in my eyes, which grew to be a bit uncomfortable especially as he kept saying Just for you! I just nodded and we left.
Another day I was in Al-Ain Mall and we were eating at the Beirut food court place. The guy behind the counter was typical friendly lebanese/syrian guy (they all were) and we ate there semi-frequently so they were used to talking to me. I'm American and open and friendly when i
talk so after we get our meal and i realize I've finished my drink I go back to the counter holding my cup. I didn't know their policy about refills. BUT I DO NOW! I asked the same guy we ordered from, "Umm do you have free refills for Sprite?" I smiled. he grinned back. he handed my cup to the other guy to fill. He looked confused and whispered in Lebanese Arabic "Mufi heck! None of this/We don't do this" i saw the guy wave an it's ok just shut up and do it gesture and my smile fell. "Ohh I'm sorry you don't do refills, i didn't know." I spoke up. "No, no, it's fine. Anything for you! i don't mind. It's Just for You." he grinned and eyed me a little too much. i silently took my cup with a small smile of thanks and quickly went back to the table. i relayed the conversation to Husband who just looked shocked.
talk so after we get our meal and i realize I've finished my drink I go back to the counter holding my cup. I didn't know their policy about refills. BUT I DO NOW! I asked the same guy we ordered from, "Umm do you have free refills for Sprite?" I smiled. he grinned back. he handed my cup to the other guy to fill. He looked confused and whispered in Lebanese Arabic "Mufi heck! None of this/We don't do this" i saw the guy wave an it's ok just shut up and do it gesture and my smile fell. "Ohh I'm sorry you don't do refills, i didn't know." I spoke up. "No, no, it's fine. Anything for you! i don't mind. It's Just for You." he grinned and eyed me a little too much. i silently took my cup with a small smile of thanks and quickly went back to the table. i relayed the conversation to Husband who just looked shocked.
"Didn't he SEE I was with you? Doesn't he SEE we are married with kids? How dare he flirt like that. Just for you 'OUL! Whats with these Mall guys and Just for Yous!" I nodded my
agreement that this is too much. I looked over husbands shoulder at the Beirut Place and saw the guy still staring at me and still bloody grinning. I frowned and shifted so Hubby blocked the sight between us. We never went back to that place until we saw clearly that the guy didn't work there anymore.
agreement that this is too much. I looked over husbands shoulder at the Beirut Place and saw the guy still staring at me and still bloody grinning. I frowned and shifted so Hubby blocked the sight between us. We never went back to that place until we saw clearly that the guy didn't work there anymore.
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The reason I'm writing about these incidences is because over at Jamerican Muslimah's Blog she wrote a post about "Muslimah Sexiness". This made me think more about how you can be a good Muslimah and still retain your inner beauty and spirit. in the above instances I was NOT flirting or doing anything to promote these men to go out of their way to give me JUST FOR YOU things. I'm a natural smiling person and try to be nice to everyone I meet. But for these men they went to far. It was one smile too many for them. i wasn't dressed in any provocative way. how then could I expect to let my inner wildcat out someday and let her seep into my attitude and very pores until I'm oozing, when a simple smile gets me in trouble? I'm not that gorgeous people. And I was overweight and pregnant! How can I try to blend my inner self and my outer self together without creating an Islamic conflict? Some say be yourself but you can clearly see where that will get me. So even though there are some interesting replies on Jamerican's Post I'd like to hear more from the rest of you that maybe didn't see it yet.
How do you be yourself, or your secret hidden self, and an outward good Muslimah? IS there a way to combine the two?
13 intelligent thoughts:
Now that is a problem! I usally just look down and try not to make eyecontact with anyone! (male) I´m usally like you, I smile at people because I want to be nice! but not anymore! I might give a qick mile and then look down. So if they look at me in a bad way, atleast I dont se it, I dont want to see that.
:P
I'm gonna have to post about a similar experience which happened to me earlier this week. Part of it is the Arab charm they are wise business men and know that women are more likely to buy if they feel comfortable and appreciated.
At least you don't have braces :/
oh my gosh that's horrible those mall guys would be like that! lol. Just for you?! wow. Hey! I was raised in Lebanon and my mom's lebanese! I miss it their so much, too :) Inshallah we might go visit this summer.
Anyways thanks for the comment you left in my blog, it gave me so much to think about it. Thank you.
That "Just for you" line coupled with the grin must have been embarrassing! SubhanAllah, where's the modesty ?(that is assuming he was Muslim).
I used to just look away and stop smiling. Unfortunately, this doesn't bring people to Islam, but does the job of shooing away the men. You give them an inch, they take a mile.
I really enjoy seeing the ease and sweetness of the relationship between you and DH. So refreshing!
I love that a sign was erected for you. I wonder if you could file a lawsuit in UAE for something like that?
Brandy, I like your quartet of pictures up top. So nice. But please tell me you don't live in the desert in a Bedouin life :) Love you lots!
BC,
So off topic......i am going to borrow money from you to by extra hard space on my pc for your blogs......lol.....i have a brandy folder on my pc to keep up.....slow down........i am going to make my way to the other blogs to now.........lol.......
luv ya
Cecilia, good idea, insha'Allah I will try that but it's so hard because I did sales for a while and it's like ingrained in my bones to be perky and happy when making sales transactions. Lol.
Perplexin, can't wait to read yours! Lol they weren't really being swave though like the first was just exuberent friendly and the second one was just flirty. But I have seen that ploy before in stores esp in Lebanon!
Malekat, ahlan wa sahlan habibati, nice to knwo about your Lebaese heratige! Aww I'm glad it helps insha'Allah.!
Sacrifice, lol really it was embarrasing! Yes they were both supposedly Muslim....no modestly indeed, though some might argue i was being immodest to be chatty and smiling.
Yasemin, Lol good for you for looking away. I'm sure you can sue if you get hurt. Though my daughter once got hurt at the Home Decor store and i chewed them out and threatened to sue if they didn't fix it RIGHT NOW. and they all looked panicked and such.
Psssshhh as if I have money to deal with lawyers.
Yeah hubby and I have similar sence of humor so we can be goofy together :)
Awwww I WISH I lived bedouin life even if just for a year! I miss it because i live in the city and my only trip to the desert made me long for it more. The top of the sand was soo warm and the under sand was so cool and it just massages your bare feet as you walk across it subhanAllah. I totally forgot to blog about this!
NASI, OFF TOPIC OFF TOPIC! Girl what's wrong with you! Can't you jsut read the darn post liek everyone else and then make your side comment!?!?!
LMAo just kidding girl You know I love you right! ;)
AHAHAHAHAAAAA sorry girl but it's your own fault your so slow, and I'm not even posting twice a day like I used to... I could start doing that if you want....? hehehe. Aww a folder just for me!!! *wipes away tears* i was plannign to call you today ok. Be prepared. I'll call when Hubby is not home so there is no "off limit" subjects lol. *wink wink*
Other blogs? OTHER BLOGS!!! Girl you must be on crack everyone knwos there are no other blogs but mine! I got 8 you can spend all day at them! No need to see others... me me me me me me me....
Ahahahaha you always bring out my silliness.
XOXOX Loving you sooo much and missing hearing you.
Isn't intention the core of the matter? If your intention is to be nice and modest, and some sexually frustrated mall dudes interpret things differently, is that really your concern? I wonder if it means you shouldn't smile to men you interact with ..
Maybe you can keep being your smiley bubbly self, and DH can scare the rats off with his frown
I learned a long time ago looking sales guys in the eye was an invite for trouble,muslim or not.Whats worse though is having to let repair men into your home when dh is off working.Even with the kids here they're terrible!
Lol that story about the sign cracked me UP!! lol. I just told my husband and he was giggling like a little boy. Hilarious. I wish I was near you to see it. Can you get a sneaky photo!?? Lmao, make it a whole new post.
-can your husband get a photo? That's too funny. And i love how your husband was teasing you :)
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