12:51 PM

New Love vs Old Love

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

I was over at Perplexin's Blog reading about her new love and naturally we all read it and the, longer married with kids, sisters, we sigh. Those old feelings when we first realized THE ONE. We couldn't eat, we couldn't sleep, the Love Bug has struck. We all dream it stays like that til we die with our beloveds. But no, it changes. It becomes routine this love. We become accustomed to seeing everyday that twinkle in his eye and it no longer makes us catch our breath as it once did. Sure we still love it and admire it but it doesn't give you that heady rush. (Well you know except for those occassional moments where you're allowed to do something more than admire the twinkle then the rush does come.)

Lets add those kids now to the mix which means loving free evenings of romantically staring into each others sparking eyes is nixed. Instead you have the yelling screaming tearing your hair out evenings which after the kids are in bed lead you to need some serious relaxation time. Where a cup of tea with your old and well known beloved means more than a candlelight dinner. That is Old Love. Where instead of admiring his hot baritone voice you love more how he made his baby giggle in delight as he tossed her up in the air a few hours earlier. Because you never get time with him alone you value that time so much more. Even if it is just sitting quietly side by side sipping tea or juice.

We all love that heady rush of love and excitement but there is something better in Old Love that I really wouldn't trade for all the New Loves in the World.

12 intelligent thoughts:

Ms.Unique said...

Nice post! mez still waiting for my turn loool ... ;)

NiDa said...

i agree sweety. You shouldn't trade it. the more you nurture that love the crustier it gets ;)

Perhaps the love doesn't change in marriage but the meaning of love becomes something different. Love is no longer the doviness and heady rush as you say - but something more deep and meaningful, and you have to appreciate that. It's beautiful once you reach that level of intimacy with your life partner where the smallest things matter more than the childish fantasies of the early days together :)...

Stay Happy sis!

MyHijab said...

great post! We are definitely in the old love stage and it feels grand! especially when i see hubby with our girls, my heart feels like it could beat out of my chest! The same feeling I had when I would hear his voice all those years ago!

Habayeb said...

(Well you know except for those occassional moments where you're allowed to do something more than admire the twinkle then the rush does come.)

ahemmmmmmmmmmmmm ahemmmmmmmm

singletons are here too :P

Lisa said...

Trading means having to court all over again and make googly eyes. I don't know about you, but who has the energy?

I really enjoyed this post Brandy!

Pixie said...

Lisa: LOL that's the best part. I guess I am still in the new love phase. Maybe that's why i don't want kids yet. Keep it coming till I get to go to Paris with my habibi:D. InshaAllah of course.

PerplxinTexan♥ said...

While I love that I was featured I don't love that I was the guinea pig :P

As a relationship therapist I have the added pressure of 'knowing'. All the prospects here that it's my field and what I'm training in and immidalty start grilling me.

"Suppose I come home early after gumauh and want shawarma and cous cous will you have ready? Oh and habbity I bring 4 friends."

And when I try and explain that that's NOT what I learn, I know about whats to comprise they retort

"comprise, ofh! You Americans always so liberal"

So while you may be happily yet miserably hitched you got passed stage one. break out the confetti , find a baby sitter and do what got you into this mess ;)

The rest of us 'young loves' will just be setting here on unhatched eggs.

Anonymous said...

i loved this post, and oh so true about when the little ones are around, you have to look for them moments alone to keep the love flowing so to speak... i have to admit it feels silly to take moments alone in our own house lol.. when the kids are running about.. but i love it..

American Muslima Writer said...

Unique insha'Allah uyour turn will come as you have soo much to offer!

Nida, exactly exactly exactly!

My Hijab! AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

American Muslima Writer said...

HEB hehehe sorry to make u blush deary!

Yasemin, lol yes it can be hard to think about that again!
and glad you liked it!

Pixie: HEHEHEE Lol ENJOY it while you can!!! Cause after those kids come there is no turning back time and gaining those hours you now take for granted hehehe.

American Muslima Writer said...

LOL perplxin, I just say LOL to it all!!!! but i don't see u as geuniapig i see you as the idea sparker...
Lol sometimes I do wonder what your field will have on your mariage later. Will it really beenfit you or will soemthing happens that is beyond your classing? Insha'Allah it's easy for you though.

minty LMAO I KNOW isn't it like some clandestine affair within your own walls? hehehe
I guess keeping it alive means sometimes resorting to sneaking around like a teen. ;)

Faith Confusion said...

That was such a lovely post AMW... LOVELY.
(I did a search on marriage in your blog)

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