SubhanAllah I've been really low islamically. Like ground level.
Then today subhanAllah something changed.
This song really inspired me:
What did I do today? I even downloaded it so I can have it anytime offline.
Then I was blog hopping (erm instead of getting down to posting like I should be doing about all these thing in my head that need out) and read this super Imaan lifting post about the Day of Judgement and how everything will die including the angels (which I hadn't known before this week).
Yesterday my daughter woke up early (for once) and we talked about Allah and discussed in depth about how everything is on Loan in this life and Allah can take it and Move it as He pleases and we have no control over that. Tough concepts to explain to a 4 year old but I broke it down with examples.
"Toys: Sometimes Allah give us money to buy toys, sometimes He decides another little girl needs toys far far away and so He lets us pack ours up into the box and give it away to Needy People and some man gets it and give it to his daughter. Allah gave you toys then Allah took your toys away. (to show her that taking isn't a mean and bad thing)
Sometimes Allah lets people be born and it makes some people very happy but sometimes they forget about Allah because they are too busy taking care of feeding and changing the baby. Sometimes he takes away the people we love because it is their time to go and it makes most people very sad but sometimes because they are sad they think more about Allah and what is important in trying to get to Jannah which is good. Allah can take and Allah can give.
Everything belongs to Allah. Just like your toys belong to you. If you want you can break them, if you want you can clean them. If you want you can throw them in the mud, if you want you can give them to someone and make someone else happy.
But everything, even you and me and daddy and your brother belong to Allah, yes even the toys, and he can keep us clean or let us be dirty or he can make us Alive or Die or be Muslims or not Muslims. He can do whatever He pleases because there is NOTHING greater than Allah. No one owns Allah. No one can MAKE HIM do something he doesn't Will."
And as the sunlight shone into our window by Allah's Will I never felt more at peace than really REALIZING and UNDERSTANDING the effects and meaning of Allah's Will. I felt my life was disposable at His Whim and I'm OK with that! Alhamdulillah if He is to take something precious from me. It's HIS to take. It's His Right to Take it. I never really GOT that in my heart before.
I knew the saying "To Him we Belong and to Him we return" but it never penetrated the depths of my heart to where I UNDERSTOOD it.
Just like if a Judge orders a murderer to the death penalty we all go "It's the judges right to order such a statement". No questions asked: No tearing our hair out in grief. No belittling the Judge's Authority and Questioning our Faith in the Judge's abilities to met out proper punishment. Yet Allah is the Ultimate Judge. And when people die like innocent babies, many too many turn away from God saying unfairly that HE is Cruel. Or Un Just.
It's Allah's to take or leave. It's HIS Right! SubhanAllah!
Definitely Imaan Lifting!
8 intelligent thoughts:
Your post made me think of Job. He summed it up well after losing all he valued on earth (his children, his riches): “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
I *hope* I'd have the same attitude...seems hard though.
Job? Thats Ayyub in Arabic right? Yes, you should definately read his story again in the Quran, ma shaa Allah....
When I first converted to Islam, I went through some HUGEMONGOUS exams, and a friend told me about the Prophets (peace be upon them) they had the MOST difficult lives. Think about all that our Prophet Muhammad (sallahu alayhi wa saalam) went through to spread Islam, subhanAllah, and all the companions! Their lives were so difficult! So if you are having a hard time, humdullah, Allah is helping you, testing you, giving you more and more chances to succeed and build your character and eman. SubhanAllah!
I am happy to hear that you feel well ma shaa Allah. Life is a funny rollercoaster :) May you always be blessed sis :)
Dearest Brandy, I had no idea you were feeling this way. Your post made me think of this:
Medicine doesn't lend itself well to the making of friends.
Maybe because life and immortality are in our faces all the time.
Maybe because in staring down death everyday,
We're forced to know that life,
Every minute,
Is borrowed time.
And each person we let ourselves care about,
Is just one more loss,
Somewhere down the line.
For this reason I know some who just don't bother making friends at all.
But the rest of us,
We make it our job to move that line,
To push each loss,
As far away as we can.
***From Grey's Anatomy last Thursday.
Obviously we're not doctors Brandy. We don't lose someone we love every single day. But, we are on borrowed time. And it is worth it to know that we both believe that we can push our pain, our fears, our inhibitions aside, and just live.
So let us push our losses, both emotional and physical aside and enjoy this borrowed time.
I haven't felt as close to Allah as I do right now writing this in such a long time. Brandy, you are my strong rock. There is nothing you can't do. May Allah grant you peace, and make you fearless in staring down death and our borrowed time. Ameen
I love you until the end of time. Hugs, kisses, and call when you are lonely or happiest dearest, dearest little sister **
Asalaam wa'alikum
I think this is my first time at your blog. But I really liked it and soooooo you have an award.. :)
Masha Allah! nice post ... yeah dat really happens sometimes our Imaan keeps fluctuating all day ... May Allah help us all Ameen ....
AsSalaamAlaikum sis,I love that nasheed too,very meaningful and uplifting:)
Good post, alhamdulilah.
I really likest thou. Please pray for me. In a rough patch.
Rubber.
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