12:38 PM

Boys 2 Men

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

Lazeena was talking about her brothers growing up to men and how it feels to be uncomfortable with his friends you used to play with. I want to add onto that with family members and children of your friends.
Sometimes with cousins or cousin in laws you grow close to them as children and then when they and you grow up it's weird because you have to distance yourself from them. One cousin in law of mine was like that. When I first married my husband he was just a young teen. Six years later he is definitely a MAN. I used to play games with him and his sisters when they'd visit the family. For a while I didn't see him cause his family was traveling and when he came back and he was taller and older but I didn't know he was considered man technically and once he was acting up and I'm like pushing him around and cuffing his neck and all then my sis in law goes...umm you know he's a man now riiight? I was like OMG!!!!!!!!! OOPS!!!! Never touched him again lol. But it's weird for the guys too cause he wasn't that much older yet and so he was making a skit comedy of a famous actor in Lebanon and started calling me "Eyes a sweety" (sweet eyes) and the family was laughing and everything though I was sooo blushing... I mean there's your brother in laws laughing that your eyes are being called the sweetest...erm awkward.... but later when we came to UAE and he lives here too I long to joke to him about that but when i saw him again he's nearly as tall as me with all this facial hair and I was like OMG he's a senior in high school. If I was still that age I woulda been digging him lol. So I just keep my mouth firmly shut and say my salam, how are you, how is school, and that's it...

Another situation that is awkward is when you visit with your sister in laws or your friends who have young boys. You are playing with them, might even catch a glimpse of them in their little underwear, and you hug them constantly and kiss them fondly. Then a few years later comes the day you have to stop all that. Suddenly they aren't shaking your hand and you have to bit your lip and sit on your hands not to cuddle them.
But to be honest it's probably the best thing you can do for young teen boys is to really treat them like a man and act like that because it raises their self esteem and shows them more respect then if you were to pinch their cheeks and fluff their hair making them feel like boys again. SubhanAllah Allah Knows All.
My sister in law's son is just like that recently. I was looking forward to webcaming with him when his mom said I have to put on hijab. He's not yet of age but When I asked does he notice if a girl is beautiful or not and makes comments about these things she said yes so we agrees it's better to wear hijab now for him to be safe. I'm sad cause I long to hug him one more time before he grew up but looks like it's already too late :). LOL my sis-in-law keeps hinting that there is always the chance to hug him as my son-in-law HEHEHE. LOL we'll see what Allah holds in store for our children.

6 intelligent thoughts:

Lisa said...

I feel for you! I also love to pinch cheeks and give hugs. I think it's really nice that your sister-in-law is starting a little early because you don't want your nephew to make comments and create family tension over a lack of your hijab. Inshallah, there will be other family members with newborn children, and you can pinch their cheeks sweet friend.

I want to also say that I am really impressed with your modesty. Though you lament the passing of the days when you could give hugs, you know it's for the best.

I was telling you the other day about Youssef's friend's mom who doesn't know Islam very well. She thought it was crazy that I wear a swimsuit, on the rare occasion that I have to get in the tub with my son. When we went over to her house for a playdate, all of her son's got naked on the backyard trampoline, and she even talked about her son's you know, can't even say it.

She is married to A Muslim man for 6 years but can't say Salaam.

When I think of it, I'm just so relieved that no everyone is like her. That there is some decency left in this world. I hope dear Brandy that you can find other fun things to do with your cousin in law. I don't know if it's possible but maybe you could play Uno or Mecca to Medina?

I love you sweet friend. Hope the poem is going well, it looks awesome so far!

PerplxinTexan♥ said...

So it's my A.D.D but, every since I read the title I've been humming boys II men bb-b-b-b boys to men ABC bbbD....

Sorry old school Boys II men song.


I read Lazeena's post it is to surreal seeing the kids become teens and teens into strippers...well adults. It's also odd watching how they are growing up in comparison to how we (or at least I) was raised. I see my siblings doing and saying things I wouldn't imagine doing.

Lazeena Umm Yusuf said...

omg this is even WEIRD with your cousins! man i havent seen my cousins since we all hit puberty (LOL) because they arent practicing muslims and i know they wouldnt take to my distance well.

And from seeing boys in diapers to them becoming older.. now THATS weird!! I guess I'll have to see how that goes with my son's buddies haha

Lazeena Umm Yusuf said...

oh yea... and omg when i was going through entries over on my dashboard i saw BOYS 2 MEN and i was like WHYYY IS THIS GIRL POSTING ABOUT A MUSIC GROUP??????????hahahaha, love this entry title!

American Muslima Writer said...

Yasemin Lol, well i dont literally pinch their cheeks though i want to but i do lots of cuddling LOL.
Masha'Allah it is good to keep yourself covered even with your own children. When my daughhter was tiny there was no need but now she's older and later with my son now I wear an old shirt and skirt for water fun.
SubhanAllah some people have no decency.
LMAO he's 18!!! Very handsome MAN!! I do not play games with MEN!!! ROFL!!!!! Esp. Handsome men! Sometimes we have a chat about future college prospects but that's about all lol. Its in the twinkle of the eye that he and i both know I can still kick his bum if he gets out of line.

Plxin: Like my nickname for you? Everyone gets nicks with me, get used to was either that or Axs... like Plxin better but I always gotta remeber not to put the E.... LOL @ ADD. Yeah i wrot the title then remebered a few of their songs. i had lots of respect for that group rather then the modern rappers.
Yeah it is strange to see how differeent people turn out even int he same home.

Lazeena LOL!! Yeah but alhamdulillah the title comes with an exerpt ont he dashboard!
Yeah I will feel sad about my son's friends later too I'm sure hehehe.

Sandy said...

Honestly, I think all that distance, is very sad. I have remained close to my nephews by marriage as they become men and to my male cousins. We talk, we hug, we play- and that to me does not mean lack of decency. I find that very judgmental. I'm just so pleased we don't need to sexualize everything- that we can have appropriate yet close relationships.

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