Followers

8:10 AM

Job Jumping

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , , ,

As I look through my CV (resume) I find a funny coincidence. Every March through May I'm getting a new job and I never planned it this way. When I first moved to UAE I was pregnant and about May I couldn't handle working anymore. Magrudy's laid off dozens and dozens of staff in March last year. And now this year, my job environment at an English language institute I was working at became unbearable. Literally having to beg and plead just to get my hard earned salary.
 No, I don't think so. Allah didn't create me to have to beg for my sustenance when I'm already working hard. If I want to be a beggar I'll go sit on the streets. The staff are all miserable and making drama and even the Director ran away. So I did too.

My parents were planned to come in the end of March so this was the perfect time to switch jobs as I needed a mini vacation. Now financially it's not been easy but I've managed to break all ties with my former company and switch to a new and much better institution for English teaching. But the classes cancel easily and they aren't loading me up so it's difficult.

But YAY my parents did arrive and it's so nice to have time with them! I haven't seen them for 6 years and it's just amazing to see how they've changed and for them to see how much I've changed and my family. Really I could write a whole blog post about their visit and probably will later when i have more time.

ALSO on the horizon I have the chance again to become a designer. The CEO of a design company took interest in my art and is challenging me to show him new work and designs. He is very exacting about quality and basically wants a 3DMAX quality HAND DRAWING. Not easy. My first design was 60% of 100%. My next attempt was 85%. I'm hoping the one I'm working on now will reach 100%. INsha'Allah.

So I'm putting my whole effort into being a designer which is my dream and getting out of the teaching field for now. I'll always love teaching but design is my blood and soul. If he decides he doesn't want me for his company there are thousands more out there or maybe I could start my own..... hmm this is Dubai, where dream can come true with the right connection.

Yalla off to work!

intelligent thoughts (2)

12:49 PM

Back on the Clock

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , ,

It's been a crazy time in my life the past few months.  My husband has been out of work and money has always been tight but more so these last few months. You all know what a firm position I take on staying home with my kids and dealing with household tasks and Homeschooling my two kids.
Now things are flipped around and I got a job.

Alhamdulillah it's part time for now so I still have time for my kids when I get home.
But gosh how it's been tormenting me having to give up staying at home. I've been just unable to think about it for long without getting upset so I have just zoned out on writing one of my stories every spare second I get in the day to cope with not having to think about it.  It's much easier to deal with plot lines and character's issues than my own. I'm getting a lot written but still the day has come and in an hour I'm off to work.
I have many posts to make about the adventure I had getting a job but that will wait for another day.

My business suit is ironed, my pumps dusted (it's a country filled with sand, shoes always need dusting), and my new notepad and pens ready.
My husband will watch the kids for my six hour shifts until he gets a job, where then we will try to figure out another solution like a Nanny or DayCare without schooling involved. I'll have to fit in the homeschooling on my days off or after work.
It's a big change for our family and it's not without it's Price but I try to see life as an adventure and this is something new for sure. I'll just take it one day at a time.
At least with all this worry I may finish this novel :D
Where am I working? Well that will come in another post :D  I'll keep you updated!

intelligent thoughts (3)

9:40 AM

Islam is like a rose

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , ,

After reading over my reply to Lisa/Yasemin's latest Post I thought perhaps others who don't always visit her blog may gain something from my comment. Perhaps it might help one other person look a the world a little differently today.


American Muslima Writer said...
Boy do I feel your depression and pain coming through oh so clearly.
Look my dearest Yasemin.
You wrote"I can weather these storms all I want, but all I do is just keep surviving. Never really living. I'm not really even alive anymore."
You have choices in your life.
You are living. You hit rock bottom and this is what it feels like to dig your way up. It hurts it sucks but its what you have to do.
YOU CAN AT ANY SECOND OF ANY DAY DECIDE TO PACK YOUSSUF A BAG YOURSELF A BAG AND JUST TAKE THE CAR AND DRIVE TO ANYWHERE IN USA TO LIVE FOR A WHILE. EVEN IN YOUR CAR.
you have choices Yasemin.
If your Plan is to stick with the plan then do so, but know you do have other options that would bring you happiness in the short term that would make you free.
It would be a hard road. But it's a road that is open to you.
"And it hit me that my gut instincts have always told me why, but I've been afraid to pay attention. That deep down I'm convinced of one thing above all. That I can't have another baby with anyone, because of where the future is going.That maybe I'm just destined to die young."

Only Allah knows the length of someone's life. For all we know you can die this afternoon. I could too. It's beyond our control. So try not to think about when it will be but concentrate on getting as much OUT of life as you can.
"I'm saving money to try and take Youssef to New York, and see the remnants of Coney Island while he's gone. That is if the plan doesn't overwhelm us first."
WHAT! I'm gonna admit I'm shocked. Don't you have a lot to be saving up for instead of a vacation? He's 4 it's not gonna clearly stick in his mind long term right now. I'm sure he'd remember more a 1$ ice cream at McD's.This might sound odd but I want you to think about it deeply:
Where do you go when you're sad? Where do you take Youssuf when you are both sad?
Answer: Shopping, spending money, eating out. I know these are typical american ways to deal with pain. I do them myself sometimes. But realize what you're teaching Youssuf about how to channel his pain, into material possessions. If everytime Daddy gets him upset he goes out to eat he's going to associate food with pleasure which in the future could mean emotional eating disorder.
You keep comparing yourself to bigger and better. Reminds me of a hadith that says if you want to be happy look at those who have less not at those who have more. Look at the ghettos, look at the homeless. Look at those with life debilitating diseases.
YOU HAVE A LOT.
You are still young dear Yasemin.
Another thing to remember:
it is written at the entry of our soul to our body in the mother's womb how long we will live and part of what is written is if we will be poor or wealthy. Perhaps you need to start thinking that you will never be rich because Allah is keeping you from something that will harm you in your future and it will ham your soul.
What if you had that biggest house that biggest car that biggest world trip vacation? Would it make you whole inside? Sure they would look at you with envy but then what? They would love you for what you have not who you are inside. Your mother and sister will brag: That rich person is related to me! Look how fab I am to be related to someone so rich! They are not saying: I am related to Yasemin who is poor and still a wonderful person who strives hard to give love to the world and takes care of her hurting son every day.
And before it makes you despair that you MIGHT (Allahu alim) be one of those destined to be poor the rest of your life remember this: Those who enter Jannah first will be the poor and the needy. They will be the first to see some of the most beautiful things Allah has created. Before their richer friends.
But when your faith increases i believe so does your rizq from Allah. As you become a stronger person and you prove yourself to Allah he makes it easier for you to continue to be strong.
I never thought I'd have the money to get to Lebanon. But I knew if I wanted to finalize the details of getting my passport finished and packing things, because my husband had already bought the ticket but I was trying to scrape enough money together in time for a quick service passport, then I had to quit my job NOW. A job that had taken me 3 months to get in the first place. I job I had finally gained 53 hours a week at. And the exact day that I just put my life in the "hands" of Allah trusting Him to take care of me as I quit my job to start packing, I received an unexpected $500 from a friend of my husband's out of nowhere so i could do the passport. My husband didn't call him. The very next day I had the means to do my passport stuff and finalize my packing. My passport arrived the day before my plane was to leave.
Sometimes you have to prove to Allah that these worldly matters mean less than your faith in Him. I was shaking as I left my work. Shaking that everything would fall into chaos as it usually does in my life and I'd soon be homeless without a job to pay my part of the rent. But as I walked away shaking I kept saying:"Ok, Allah, it's all for You. I'm sacrificing it all for you. So I can make a better life as a good muslim with my husband, and fulfill the duties a good muslimah should. I'm placing my path with You to be guided by You how You have destined it to be."
Alhamdulillah.
Allah granted me wonderful things.
Sure it's not all been roses but each thorn has been a test for me. As I squeeze my hand tighter around the rose that is Islam and the thorns dig deeper and hurt more I keep squeezing harder and harder holding tight to the beauty of Islam and hoping to gain the beautiful smell of Jannah. Where in the end I can See the Creator of that Beautiful Rose.
I love you for the sake of Allah Yasemin. You have a lot to offer the world still. Don't sell yourself or your life short. Continue to look forward to a long life but prepare your soul and your son's for the unexpected.
XOXOX

intelligent thoughts (7)

11:15 AM

Mix Silver and Gold?

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , ,

How many times have we heard the statement "Do not mix Silver with Gold?"

I heard it a lot from my mother and my grandmother which they would say as a general rule. But being the rebellious type I always mixed them and I found them to be lovely together!



Sure some days I prefer Gold
Other days I feel Silvery
But on the most part a piece catches my eye when it has both. Most of my watches always have silver and gold on them, which is great because then they match whatever else jewelry I wear.

Some people's skin tones though aren't great with one of these colors. My mom would always buy these mega mix of gold earings and silver earings. She'd take all the gold claiming her skin tone can't handle silvers.
My other friend Amanda is opposite, she loves the silvers and whenever I got her cast offs I would have awesome new silver to wear. I guess I have one of those complextions that do well in both.



I do love walking past the jewelry section of the malls and fog up the glass as I check out those increadibly expensive pieces. I usually bring a rag to catch the drool though. I've seen some truly talented artist here in the Middle East and I wish I was able to get more jewels. Of course wearing hijab no one sees my jewels anyways so I tend not to wear them as much. Pre-Hijabi days I used to not leave the house unless I had my earings, necklace, matching braclet, and 3 to 5 rings on. Now I wear Jewels only for special occassions like E'id or such. My in-laws are like WOW I had forgotten that you OWN jewelry. :D

So what do you think about mixing silvers and golds?
Does it work for you or do you have to stick to one?

intelligent thoughts (8)

6:51 AM

Don't be a Cow

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , ,


"Why don't those third world nations close their legs!"
"People should stop being irresponsible by having babies when already the world is taxed for space, food, homes, and jobs!"
"Why bring more children when there are already millions of orphans and needy people in the world to help!"
"They are just trying to bulk up their population stats!"

Yet it is our right by God, the One and only Creator, who Shaped us and Gave us our bodies to have children. He gave the woman a perfect garden bed and man a perfect seed. It is not only there for us to use but it is part of our nature and the circle of life to have children. So statements like those above from pseudo-intellectuals really get on my nerves.
Impoverished nations still have men and women who have their rights to have children. God provides for each child with ease. Sometimes if you're so impoverished like Darfur it is all you have left to give to your community, to try to raise up the populations from death. Who will care for the elderly and the ill if suddenly everyone stopped having babies? Who will people marry? Entire civilizations could collapse without children. Also, who said the "first world" countries have more right to have children than "third world"? Are their people so much more worthy? Are their wombs so much more pure? Or is it all in their heads about money.
Ah, the money. This is it then. They think they have more money they can afford the larger families. Yet look at the average American household. The oft quoted "2.5 kids per family".
First they have one child and dote on it endlessly then another comes along and the chaos is suddenly overwhelming. I mean you have school and work and homes to balance and hobbies and vacations. More children mean more time and American certainly has no time for large families. Few who venture to have that third baby whether planned or not are the ones who change the average to 2.5. People just look with wonder at those who have 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and more children. They are one of the wealthier nations and yet they have some of the smallest families. Hollywood stars have millions. They could literally afford dozens of children yet Bragalina couples are rare.
Many times people scoff at these big families and sneer behind their backs that they are being irresponsible. Yet though there are indeed millions of orphans and needy people that doesn't mean you can't have your own too. We are highly recommended to take in orphans and help those in need in addition to our rights to have our own families.
Something I admire here in Emirates is the large families at the mall. I stare in wonder as family after family pass me by with five to seven children walking around a couple. Masha'Allah. I never see this in America. Usually at the mall you have lots of adults holding the hands of one or two kids and then the rare family that have a gaggle (whom everyone stares at).
Another note is look at the societal problems that you face like in China where they are limited to only having sometimes one or max two children. Babies aborted, girls thrown out to orphanages to keep boys for the family name, boys tossed out to orphanages to keep girls for their rarity, men stuck unable to marry from lack of women. In Russia you have declining populations and not enough women to bare the brunt. The plague of society problems will never cease. Why? Denial of basic human rights from God.
Someone dear to me broke my heart once saying "Your daughter has brains in her head don't let her grow up to be a cow." As if being a cow, who's job in nature is to have babies and give them milk, is something to detest in favor of letting my daughter grow up lonely with no children at her feet yet a PHD on her wall and presumably more money in her pockets. As if happiness cannot be attained by having many children. I think it takes more brains to have many children and raise them correctly than it does to go through schooling, get PHD, get a job, and work for the rest of your life. When you come home to an empty house at the end of the work day where is the joy of mischievous grins to greet you? When you have many children you have to learn more diplomatic skills than an Ambassador.
Yet still, women with many children are looked down upon in "high society".
Sorry, but for me, children are blessings from God.
We are told in Islam that some people are given much money and others many children as a form of wealth. These wealth are a test for us in this life. So next time you see a large family realize they are being highly tested by God.
It is our Right. Watch out world, I have a womb and I'm willing to use it.

intelligent thoughts (7)

1:33 AM

Slim Down Your Home

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , ,

Abu Sinan-Sayf reminded me with this post how much I love reading about how people feel more free after they have tossed out old junk. It's like putting your house on a diet for a more healthier lifestyle.
Not only you have to watch what new things you feed your house (bringing in stuff) but you have to exercise your house to burn calories. Well actually YOU'RE burning the calories by carting out that junk!
There are a lot of great places to get money for your goodies and of course it's always acceptable to do this especially if it cost you a lot to gain the product. But sometimes because of emotional attachment we don't throw stuff we should. This is akin to a fat person NOT dieting because they are comfortable in their skin and are afraid of change. But to move on to better things in our lives and to be more healthy for sure we must get rid of even the emotional things that are really not usefully everyday. Just keep the bare minimum of mementos if you MUST. Like one baby dress and booties for each child. Scan important art and papers into your computer to keep on a skinny little CD file I guarantee it takes less space that way.
But back to getting rid of things. Abu Sinan-Sayf mentioned E-Bay and many commented that they just gave stuff away and I want to reiterate this fact that it IS a form of Charity to do so. Sure you may get $500 for that sofa set but I promise you there are poor peope who would kiss your feet if you gave it to them for free. They'll keep it lovingly until it's in tatters and they are forced to BUY something new which will probably take over 10 years for most families. You have let a family be happier than they would have been for a WHOLE 10 YEARS! Powerful Charity right there. Donate your CDs to friends, Blankets and clothes to relatives or shelters.
In UAE all my donations of clothes go first to my neighbors then if I feel they wouldn't need it I send it with my husband to doll it out between the poor Indian and Pakistani workers in the workshop he visits. So then they take it home on their vacations to their families and children. The toys I give to them are ones in good shape that my kids are bored with or haven't played with in over a month. Other kids would be happier with them. or sometimes you just get too many of those annoying happy meal toys and have to do a sweep-out.
So even if you are in the C/D/F scale of poverty you can still do powerful charity. They feel good, you feel good and your house will look awesome slimmed down and roomier!

intelligent thoughts (5)

10:30 AM

Rate Your Riches

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , ,

I was recently thinking "How poor am I?" I tried to think of a scale and used the American grading scale for my example.

: Very Wealthy: Royalty(A+), Celebrities (A), Upper Class Citizens (A-)
: Well-Off: Mid-Upper Class Citizens (B+), General Business Owners (B), High Ranked Military (B-)
: Normal: Can afford international plane tickets at the drop of a hat (C+), Middle Class Citizens (C), Struggling to keep up appearances of Middle Class but not in debt or under 1,000USD debt(C-)
: Struggling: Can afford home, food, has clothes on back, under 5,000USD* in debt (D+), can only afford home, basic foods like rice, meats, veggies, has clothes on back rarely new though, between 5,000USD to 8,000* USD in debt (D), can only afford studio-one room home, basic foods like rice and meats, gets constantly second hand clothes, between 8,000USD and 12,000USD* OR not in debt but still reduced to basics (D-)
: Poor: Living at the basic means, studio or shack, rice and sometimes meats and veggies, always needs donations of food and clothes, heavily in debt 10-20,000USD* or living in a region of extreme poverty (F+), Living at basics but unable to provide anything for family (F), Starving, stick house, over 25,000USD* in debt, not able to provide for self much less family (F-)


*: Paying back this debt and higher back to zero debt would make them so poor they couldn't live.



These are approximates that I believe people fall into. I heavily weighed my and my families areas and came up with I am "D". I thought about my neighbors who are at D- and realized I had more than them alhamdulliah and upped my status to D. I think there are plenty of agencies that help those in the D- to F+/- area but few who help those in the D through C-. This class of people rely heavily on help from others who are kind enough to swing some money their way to help out with the basics. But many times people of this category believe they have the basics covered so why should they "beg" for money or ask for it. Sure if a friend of family give me money I sure take it with a hearty thank you but I don't ask for it. *ahem except in the case of my parents, may Allah make their lives easy*

A funny thing happened the other day that made me think a lot more about this though. I was going to my second Taraweeh prayers (since i can only go on Friday nights) and my son was being disruptive and had a smelly diaper suddenly and my daughter started running amuk and trying to walk in front of people praying to get Qur'ans so I took them out of there real fast having only prayed Isha'a. I had forgotten my backpack with my son's changings and phone in the car. My husband was in with the men -still praying- so i couldn't just waltz in and ask for him. So I waited outside the masjid and waited and waited and I got tired and sat down on the large cement area. I waited more and some men started leaving. A few passed me looking at me oddly and that got me to thinking... I must look like a beggar sitting here with my kids waiting for someone to take pity on me and give me money (just like i used to see in Lebanon). Then I thought harder about that that if someone did give me some money I surely wouldn't mind. It would be nice to have some money to call my own for once. Suddenly a man walked by and I was keeping track of my wandering son when he back tracked and shyly/nervously offered me a 10dhs. I smiled and thanked him in Arabic and he looked relieved (probably glad I didn't yell at him for thinking I was a beggar). I said alhamdulliah right a way and made du'a for this kind man's family. I was glad I could help someone else attain a good deed by taking the charity he offered. I told my daughter to hold the money for me since abayas don't have pockets. I thought then hey if i sit here long enough maybe I can get enough to buy groceries for the week tonight. So we kept waiting for my husband.... another brother left and passed me then stopped to riffle through his wallet and pulled out another 10dhs. I took it and thanked him. Cause he too wasn't sure if I was a beggar or not. He left relieved I made du'a for his family. Finally my husband came out as I was passing the money to my daughter to hold. He comes and hugs my son then as he hugs my daughter she shouts "These men gave Mama money!" I blushed and he looked at me just shocked. I told him what happened I was just sitting there they mistook me for a beggar and his eyes were as wide as saucers. "They thought you were a BEGGAR!" He exclaimed. "I know. Hey I got 20dhs, we can buy tomatoes, dates, lettuce, and cucumbers for the week for that much." I said quietly. He looks at me as if seeing me with new eyes. "You are ok that they thought you were a beggar?" He asked. "Sure why not we can use the money. Just wish I could have gotten more though." I smiled. He had grown up that beggars were the lowest of low society and one never begged until forced to because you had been starving for a week or you had children that were starving that day. I grew up with people sometimes had to beg. Many times I'd ask for spare change for bus money from complete strangers and mostly was given it. No big deal and it made them happy to help someone. If someone asked me I gave them. So for me it was ok I allowed these men to think i was a beggar and accepted their offerings. Their angels wrote their good deeds.

Another friend of mine told me recently not asking for help when you need it is a matter of pride and so that too allowed me to swallow mine more and accept their humble offerings. I was able to buy a few more groceries that I would have if they hadn't given me money and I was grateful for that. So if you too are in the low C's or under in the D's or F's please don't feel bad about asking now and then for a friend or family to help you out. It may feel a little odd but really, not only are you getting a benefit, but they are too. And of course it's the responsibility of those who can afford it to give charity to those who need it. The angels write it all down.


If you'd like to name your rating and how it makes you feel go ahead in the comments and I don't mind if you choose anonymous I'll still publish it.

intelligent thoughts (10)

5:18 PM

Life Story: What is a "Housewife"?

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Has anyone really thought of this word housewife before? WHat does it mean? A wife of the house? Can people be housewives without being married? THEN what do we call them? HouseMissus? What about men who are housewives what should THEY be called? Househusbands? Who said anyone had the right to define me by my house anyway.
You mean because I enjoy cleaning up my house and watching over my children and teaching them from right and wrong that I'm stuck with this label? You mean because I don't earn money in what I'm doing my job title is housewife?
Some like to mask the word by saying HomeMaker.... true I do make my home nice but i would call someone who builds houses a Home Maker. I save my husband money by cleaning my home myself than to hire someone to do it for us. Believe me I'd love not to clean ever again really I would but it would cost a fortune.
But I'm not just a woman who chooses not to "work" at a job. I'm doing what Allah put us on this earth to do. Be a comfort to mankind and be a mother to children. When my husband's had a bad day at work I try to make sure he has a place to go to forget his troublesome day, take a breather and relax so that when he has to return then he can have a calm head and do better.
A lot of people look down at someone who stays home. Especially in Saudi and the Middle East. Now now before you jump on my back I know some people DENY and REFUSE to allow a woman to work and they don't have any other choice, this is not the object of this post. My words mean those who CAN work at a JOB but choose to stay at home.
Many women go and earn themselves a PHD in Brain Surgery then get married and get pregnant and decide to stay home with their children and everyone sees it as a waste of their talents. Is it though? She's doing something she's happy to do. So who are you to judge her for that? She's not oppressed or "popping out babies". She living her life how it best makes her happy. One of my relatives said to me about my daughter, "That girl's got some brains in her head don't let her grow up to be a cow." (meaning a baby-popping milk giving housewife-) There are some women who cannot last a day sitting at home dealing with "home" life, they need the workplace, they need the school place. But others, like me, work best in an environment that they can control themselves without a boss or teacher over their heads.
I could have gone to a number of different colleges if I had wanted to. I'm smart, I'm ambitious, I'm able to work hard and work my way quickly up the ladder of success. But that path in life would not have made me happy. I hate homework, love learning! hate homework. So after my 12th grade was finished and no long HAD to go to school I was happy to stop. The idea of spending another 4 to 8 years of college seemed not only daunting but sickening. My friends have pretty much all gone to college. I met my husband the last month of 12th grade. I spent the next year living on my own and working small jobs here and there. Finally we got married and I moved to Lebanon. My husband asked me if I wanted to go to school or to work and I asked him "do I have to?" He said no so I said NO. I liked being able to stay home and write my novels. After having my daughter I was happy to stay and teach her about life and to care for her. Then when coming to UAE unfortunately it took my husband almost 6 months before he got a job so I had to work for 4 of those months. I chose what I'm best at working with small kids and teaching them fun new games and such. I also am good with organizing and secretarial but you need "education" and "experience" with that and I had neither-though i can do it. So I worked and when my second baby was too far along to work I stopped. Alhamdulliah by then hubby was working again. Sure if I worked we'd have more money for me to get a maid but then I'd have to put my daughter in horrid schools and my baby in a nursery and stop breast feeding him full-time and I'd be exhausted to do much at home much less write (or blog). It doesn't seem worth it. If I find someone to finance my "Dare Your Creativity" idea and my kids are old enough to not be a bother at work then I can deal with them and working, maybe I'll think about it... but for now, no thank you.
I'm a wife-
I'm a maid-
I'm a mother-
I'm a teacher-
I'm a source of nutrients-
I'm a writer-
I'm a creative thinker-
I'm a blogger-
I'm a dreamer-
I'm a idealist-
I'm an organizer-
I'm a driver-
I'm a chef-
I'm all these and more...


BUT I'M NOT A "HOUSEWIFE"!

intelligent thoughts (6)

8:57 AM

Go to: Daughters of Khadijah

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , ,

This is very important.
A sister is trying to get the word out about Abusive Relationships and Sisters and their Children in NEED of assistance.
Please go there RIGHT NOW!
Tell her how you WANT to help!
It just takes 10 minutes of your time... come on everyone has just 10 minutes to spare!
Help sisters all over the world.
Click on the Post Title OR below:
http://daughtersofkhadijah.blogspot.com/
May Allah reward those who go and try. Seriously.

Imagine if it was your wife/daughter/sister/mother/cousin/aunt/niece in these women's shoes. I'm sure you would help them. So help others too.

intelligent thoughts (1)

4:54 PM

Go to the back of the Line!

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , , , , ,



I stood tired and weary at the supermarket. I only had 10 things so I was in the express lane. Just before I was to put my things on the conveyor belt two twenty year old Arab girls cut in and the girl smiles and asks me in Arabic, "Maleesh, bes heyda -It's ok right, we only have these" She hold up two shampoo bottles. I stare at her coldly and reply in perfect Arabic "Ana bes hayda kaman -And I have only these." And pushed my stroller to block their path in front of me and set my things on the counter. They scooted beside me still staring at me like they couldn't believe I wouldn't let them pass. I purposely didn't make eye contact again. After paying for my things I took my kids who were acting up by then to the restroom to change diapers and potty time. How dare those girls think they can just barge in front of me. We all had only a few things too hence being in the express lane. Sure if I had a cart full I would have let them go in front. The nerve, I swear! Then still at the mall later I needed to get a couple bottles of cold water so I go into the store get my water and again go to the express lane. It was only two bottles. There was a long line. A woman with a couple of kids pulls her cart behind me and then another lady behind her. Then this young arab man comes and pulls his cart in behind me. I wait a few seconds to see if he's going to keep going through the line or wait. So he didn't budge so I turned to him and in English said, "Uh excuse me but the end of the line is over there." And pointed to after the two ladies (who said nothing). "Ohhh, riiight ok, after these two ladies." He mumbled and moved himself to the end. Not two minutes later another big Indian Family tries to move in behind me. "The line is over there." I said and pointed behind the guy who was looking miffed at the Indians. Once they moved (with a nasty glance my way) to the back I turn around to find an Arab lady in her mid-50's had cut in front of me but it was already to late to kick her out of line since she slammed down her shampoo on the conveyor belt first. I did glare at her though. She nervously paid then left. I put down my bottles and paid then left too and went to meet my husband.
First thing he says to me, "I cannot believe these Emeratians, they think they own the world."
"What happened?" I asked. "I was at the Bank which is why I'm late because the lines were so long. We are all standing peacefully waiting our turn when in comes this Emeratian guy and Yalla to the front of the line. Not even thinking for a moment to wait in line with the others."
I tsked sadly and told him my day's stories and we sighed at the state of people these days.

So whats up with this rudeness, especially in the middle east I've seen this more. People think lines are just a suggestion. Though I admit sometimes they follow them but not usually. And when you come across this mob of people trying to reach the one person they all want sometimes you have to join in the throng or get nothing accomplished like at government offices in Lebanon or at fast food pizza pie places in Lebanon. It frustrated me because grown men will be shouldering aside women with babies in their arms and of course a mother has to back off or her baby will be crushed. I've even seen pregnant women jostled. disgusting. Being an American if any guy shoves me wallahi I shove him right back and they look at me startled but I just raise a brow and dare them to say anything. Sometimes they'll reach an arm over my shoulder to plunk their papers in before me and I have to literally grow taller (tiptoes) to keep the papers out of the government officials reach. Another ploy though maybe haram is to just give a good old american smile to the official and of course many times they grin back and go "Please Madam your papers?" I love that routine. The men in line actually step back and stop shoving when you are personally asked to present papers. Sometimes you just gotta use your feminine charms.
I think we all have the responsibility though when in normal lines to stop cutters by correcting them. If I hadn't said anything in the supermarket those two women would have never gotten out of there with their few purchases. This always makes me angry and I try to stick up for those being brushed aside. Learn some manners people. I don't mind letting you pass if I have so much stuff and you have two things but at least ASK me. Don't assume you have the right away.

intelligent thoughts (16)

3:13 AM

ORBIT, YOU ARE BANNED!

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , , ,

ORBIT'S WORTH

You have led my husband's eyes away from me to your preening fashion models.
You have led my daughter's innocent sense of humor become corrupted.
You have wasted my time when I could have done something better.
Though you have educational programs,
Though you have news news news in both languages,
Though you have inspirational and funny shows,
Keeping your sinful channels is not worth the good you have.
To get to the good we have to trudge through the bad.
I'm sick of watching half dressed (if that much) people grind like animals,
just to reach English Islamic programs.
I'm sick of my daughter choosing Disney,
over listening to Qur'an.
Therefore, Orbit Satellite TV, YOU HAVE BEEN BANNED!
Never soil my house and mind again.
~Brandy A. Chase (c)2008

PS: Come and get your decoder so I can have my deposit back PRONTO!

Update: So Hubby came home and had to eat a meal yet again without tv on and he was so upset and claimed he's going to buy his own sat reciever no matter what. NOOO!! I shouted, WHAT'S THE POINT OF ME GETTING RID OF ORBIT IF YOU GET ANOTHER BOX OF SIN!?!?! I WONT ALLOW IT IN MY HOUSE! He thought about that one so we'll see where this goes but I'm serious.

intelligent thoughts (9)

2:51 AM

Heart Flips

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , ,

When your heart flips and accepts something it hasn't before and it leaves you feeling disoriented and feeling strange and surreal, what do you do? Many of us at one point never heard of Islam or never accepted it then suddenly our hearts flipped for whatever reason and we said Shahada. Allah is the only one who guides us and insha'Allah we follow obediently.

SO my heart has been doing flips this past month or so. It has to do with the controversial topic of polygamy. Everyone has this Poly post and there is hot debate each time. I'm not looking for hot debate I'm looking for answers. Real Answers. My heart started flipping when I asked my husband if we could have someone in need stay with us. He joked about marrying her and such but it was all banter and I joked back threatening to break his neck if he tried etc... but inside my heart did a little wiggle and suddenly a little voice asked, would poly be so bad? I pushed it aside and gawked at myself in the mirror for asking myself such a question. I'd read blogs like Angry Muslimah and Peaceful Muslimah about the trials to overcome in poly and how many men abuse it for their own whims. I began reading more and more online about it and all said bad bad bad though accepted by Islam if done right, yet I haven't found yet a blog pointing to their idyllic marriage of poly done right by Islam. My sister-in-law's sister-in-law is in Poly because she couldn't have kids and she chose her co-wife. SO this topic is nothing new to my ears and it's always piqued my interest. So to make a long story short after getting to know a friend better we discussed this issue at length and she surprised me with all the benefits Poly holds for the woman if done right.

She explained how if the two women are friends and live relatively close to each other:
1. they can take care of each other's kids giving the other wife a chance to clean, cook, pamper, or take a romantic walk/drive with hubby without kids around.
2. they can have a lifelong friend to always talk to when sad or in need of company
3. The kids will have friends to play with who are related to them yet wont have the daily sibling squalls because they live in separate houses.
4. They get a free day without Hubby under feet to bother them or demand attention.
5. They have a reason to not hang around in sweats when Hubby is home, good natured jealousy to always look as nice as the other wife. (though naturally the friends/co-wives wont talk about bedroom stuff)

Now of course you have to get used to sharing HIM and he of course has to be fair and pay for all you both need and such but this was the first time i had heard about BENEFITS to the wife. Always I hear how horrible it is and such. Here's the funny heart flipping thing.... I like the benefits. It does make sense in many ways and as long as you and the co-wife are good friends there is no reason why it shouldn't work. Just because they don't blog about it doesn't mean there aren't happy Poly marriages out there. I did actually get the guts to discuss this with my hubby and he didn't want it because of the financial burdens. Yet my heart is still inclining towards it being good in the right circumstances and with the right co-wife. So I want to really hear from people out there the Benefits of Poly. When I searched it online I found a lot of Mormon sites soooo I'm looking for Islamic benefits and such. Not benefits for the man but benefits for the wives. Here's a challenge my readers and I want you to come through on this one. Be brave and be bold. I wont put you down if you don't agree with me. I'm just naturally curious to hear what everyone has to say.

intelligent thoughts (13)

11:00 AM

RE-TORN ( ! )

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes I feel like a sock that has been knitted over and over patching each patch with a new color. Sigh I'm re-torn about life and blogging.

I've been maddly commenting on blogs far and wide getting a feel for what I love and am passionate about. Yes still Islam #1! That's not gonna change!
But thanks to Angry Muslimah (see link on side bar) I've re-awakened another side of mine... the compassionate one. I love about Islam it's compassion to those in need. Never before have I seen people who will take in complete strangers just because they are in need.
I read posts where someone "finds" a baby and milks it and raises it as their own. I think where's my baby? I have milk! Why can't I be the one to find a baby?!?!?! I'd love to raise an orphan as my own milk child! I want to help!
I read post where women have bad domestic problems and need a place to recouperate and someone to encourage them to get the help they need. ANd to put it bluntly spell out for them their Right in Islam. I want to talk to these women and encourage them! I want to shelter them and their children! I want to make a difference in someone's life for the better in their need of crisis!
I read posts about ignorance of Islamic laws and those men and women who don't follow the laws and cause harm to others. I want to educate them! I know lots about Islam! I want to teach them what is good and bad and right and wrong!

I

WANT

TO

HELP

!

So subhan'Allah it's increadible that maybe I can get a job (though a friend) at a government sponsored charity project for New Muslims, and those in Need. OHHH what a dream job and getting paid for it too! MAKE DU'A MY HUSBAND AND I GET THESE JOBS!!!!!
But this is why I'm so torn. Haven't i writen post after post about art and the need for a store here in Al-AIn and then in a blink I abandon my pet project for this strong calling I have to help others in need. Not only abandoning my arts and craft store but my writting as well! I've even put off meeting with an influencial investor for my store just to await word that I could get this job. Not only do my hubby and I need this finacial assistance but it is in a field we are both dedicated 100% to. Helping others in Islam and giving Da'wa.
But say I get this job then what about art store and writting and WHAT ABOUT MY KIDS!!! I've never been a working mother and I'm loath to do it because I love being home for my kids and taking care of them totally. Of course the ease of breasfeeding not done publicly and where will I put my babay while working?!?! I CANNOT PUT HIM IN DAYCARE HE"S A BABY!!!! I really really dislike putting kids in daycare without there being a strong need.
Oh man the ironies of life. My life has been stay at home wife/mom for past 4 years and suddenly in the begining of one year all these oppourtunities happen! It's amazing, subhan'Allah. I was just thinking what will bloggers think about this new job oppourtunity? WIll they think I'm fickle? Hmm let me make a poll lol...... But after reading about some women's plight I would love to help people make a difference that matters. So do I have a new goal? You betcha! Goal: Help people in need....

intelligent thoughts (2)

7:37 PM

Life in Al-Ain

Wrote: American Muslima Writer | Topics: , , , ,

So far things having been going well the past year. I've stabilized my life enough to where I can take the time to write a lot more. I've only been able to write off and on the last 3 years. Ah the good old days when i was pregnant with my first baby and had SO MUCH TIME I never knew I had-- All to myself!



I've taken to walking an hour or more around AL-Ain just to see how far I can walk and see what there is down all those side streets i never take when my husband is driving. Not that I can buy anything but window shoping and window eating is always nice! Plus it gets my head out of the house and gets my kids a breath of fresh air. Near the Downtown building of "Homes R US" are massively expensive houses all parked up with the fanciest cars imaginable. I'm looking at it mouth agape knowing the only way I'd ever live there is if I sell everybook I've ever thought of and they were all best-sellers. (I.E. It will never happen) I don't REALLY want a house and car liek that though because i can think of dozens of better things i can do with the money like help poorer people.
My daughter will start pre-school soon again and I'm so happy to have the mornings inbetween brestfeeding my son to myself for writting. I also re-designed my garden today now that my very generous and helpful Philipino neighbor has gotten me more bricks!!!

intelligent thoughts (2)

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