In blogland we take daily, weekly, monthly, yearly efforts to write down our thoughts and dreams and anything that we feel we want to share with the world. We reach out and hope that we touch someones life and when we hear back from them in the comment section when they relate back to us how this touched their lives in some way, either expressing an opinion about the topic or sharing a bit of their lives that is relevant. But sometimes, though we poured our hearts out the topic remains commentless, why is that? Why when some people look at the comment section it shows a great big ZERO. Is the topic boring? Did the author go into such detail to render the comment useless?
Also lets discuss the blog followers. Some blogs have a lot of readers and not commenters, other blogs have commenters galore! Why when the same people comment on Blog X then they come to BLOG B and feel like not commenting? Thus Blog X has 54 comments and Blog B has ZERO. We all take the time to comment on others blogs so people should reciprocate and comment on yours.............or should they?
When people make new blogs it is standard that they wont have almost ANY comments for the first posts until they gain a readership. HOW do they gain a readership, some may ask.... By going to other's blogs and commenting in a way that is sincere, knowledgeable, funny, or outrageous enough for the other blogger and their readers to take notice of the NEW name and click on it to see what it's about.
OK so great now we have a few commenters and as we post more and more the comments grow and the readers multiply. You do your part by sending our more thought provoking posts daily and weekly ensuring when the readers come there will be something fresh to comment on.
Some bloggers really don't care about comments though and if they have zero or they have 50 it doesn't matter. They are just getting things out of their heads and off their chest. Should we all think like that or should we strive to respond to what our readers are looking for?
Wordpress has blog stats about which articles are read the most and how many people are reading your blog. While Blogger doesn't have this it does have Profile viewed numbers (which are hard to go by). So you can see where people came to your blog from and why on wordpress but on Blogger you just have to guess.
SO what happens when you're getting around 15-30 comments each post and suddenly they start slacking off? Suddenly you're getting 2-5 comments only again? Why is this? Are your readers too busy to comment or are your posts not interesting enough to gain comment? Should you change what you write or just let it go?
I did a poll of how often readers visit my blog because I wanted to know how often I should be making new posts approx. How often were people coming to me and expecting me to have something fresh and interesting to look at and ponder at. The poll shows that about 10 people are coming daily and about 10 more come around once a week to once a month.... so if I'm making a post almost daily the daily readers have something new to comment on or to read past comments....but the weekly and monthly readers have anywhere between 7 to 15 posts to read...... not likely that they will comment on every single one.
So now that i have an idea of my approx reader base (who answered the poll) do I try to figure out what they like to read about or just keep up my quirky and various topics, to keep them interested and commenting? I've been wanting to write this post for a month now but i wanted the results of the poll first. Do we as bloggers write what we want, write what the readers want to read, or try to "toe the line" between the two?
If we slack off commenting to other blogs will the bloggers still come to our blog? Do we have an obligation to go to other's blogs and comment if we want comments back? I have a lot of cool blogs i like to read and try to comment on! See that growing list on the sidebar hahahha... one night while my kids wouldn't sleep I tried to go through the whole list and read and comment on all the blogs on the list and after 4 HOURS straight not only was I very tired but I couldn't even complete the list! I got down to the S's on my list before giving up and going to bed. Then the next few days I tried to get through the rest of the list but that meant I couldn't visit the blogs that I like to daily. My favorite blogs i visit daily and the others because of the high number I have, i visit bi-weekly or so. I do feel bad because they are all very interesting and thought provoking but where is the time?
So should we not post once a day to give our readers time to comment a lot and absorb what we say or should we just do as we please no matter the number of comments?
This is a post about Comment and Blogging Etiquette... Let's see if it gets any comments....or will I see a big fat ZERO?
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Two ladies have come to stay with us, hopefully long term until Allah takes them from this world. No my hubby hasn't married #2 and #3 hehehe. He bought Angelina, who is a beautiful, White-cheeked BulBul Bird. He accidently let Yasmine, Hamza, and Amber (our last three bulbuls) free a while back. I named the last three and he named this one...three guesses who it refers to...ugh.... I hate the name. (i.e. celebrity).
Then a few days ago we were at the mall looking at pets for fun when i saw these cute little hamsters and begged for one. He said no way. But then the next day he brings me this bird cage as a surprise and tells me to pick out a hamster. I was going to pick a wild funny one but when i let it sniff my hand he bit it so i was like that's not good for the kids. THis tubby little brown one with grey stripes and white belly kept licking my hand obviosuly begging me to take her home so I did. We spent a half an hour thinking up a name that later my babay could get out. Finally the name Julie came to mind (because of my recent dreams...another post). So Julie it is!
THis is the perfect first pet for my daughter at age 3. Not so fragile to be frightened by clumbsy kids not so boisterous to trouble her. My daughter constantly goes to open the cage and feel her. SHe's a calm little hamster and takes it only sqeeling a few times when baby was fast and smacked her (yes I promtly never let him near her again! I'm strict for no animal abuse!) But he likes to stare at her cage. So my daughter is always concerned about Julie. "How is Julie doing?" "Can I feed her?" "Can I give her this, or that?" It's adorable! Right this second she's learning how to cut paper and saying "Julie would love a piece of my cutting." So it's certainly giving her lots to do now. I let Julie out now and then for some run around time suppervised and my daughter squeels as her tiny paws tickle her hands. This is teaching my daughter great hands-on responsability. Though i have to always be on guard that she doesn't accidently hurt her (by picking up the cage and shaking it...ugh my heart)
I'm so happy about our new family members!
Read this very interesting and heart-wrentching story about a Belgium convert.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/mindbodyandsoul/womenintheworld/articlemc.aspx?cp-documentid=7884610&page=1
I sat back after reading it and was like WOW, how many of us sisters could that have been? It is very VERY easy for brothers to meet extremist muslims these days and start getitng involved in some serious stuff and the wife would not be figuring it out. I repeat that story could have had any of our names on it. It touched my heart especially because of a personal matter but still I feel for her and I'm glad she's happy now. Though I do want to add, she should have LEGALLY (islamically and governmentally) divorced her husband BEFORE hooking up AND LIVING with this new man and having his baby. I am not agreeing with that part at all. I do like how she shows the burka to be personal choice and not something fard or suppressive. SHe chose to wear it and she chose to take it off.
Nearly everyday the power would go out for increments.
Something like this schedule:
AM: 12 to 6 Power ON
6-12 Power OFF
PM: 12-2 Power ON
2-6 Power OFF
6-9 Power ON
9-12 Power OFF
______________
SO you just have to regulate your schedule (and whats left in the fridge) to coordinate with the power so you can get laundry done and such. If you could afford a generator hook up that was a life saver but we couldn't. Many a evening we spent having a "romantic" candle lit dinner. By necessity. Sometimes though at night I loved it and it made me feel more like how the Companions must have felt. We'd have time to write a little bit or read Qur'an by candlelight then pray early and go to bed early and sometimes just sit and chat in the dark. Sometimes when the electricity would come on unexpectedly my husband would break the spell by rushing gleefully to turn on the TV and news. I wanted to reprimand him for being so unromantic. But he lived like this for years during the war, so a chance for electricity was something good, and not having it made him feel backwards and poor. For me growing up with electricity all the time, not having it was a chance to feel historic.
Now I'm in UAE and having power 24/7 fell surreal at first. Then slowly I became used to it. The other day my power was cut for 4 hours and the first two hours were ok because the room stayed cool but the second two hours were torture in the heat of the day and I had to fan my kids to keep them cool. (ouch my arms hurt so bad from constant fanning). So it reminded me how luxurious electricity can be. In this country we'd be suffering heat stroke without it. Yet there are places and people who go without it and we should feel fortunate to have it.
I have always wanted to wear niqab since I became Muslim. I always saw niqab in new movies like Mummy (i know it's not real niqab now but then I didn't) and old movies where Spaniard Ladies would have their hair covered with a light veil (lace edged of course) and sometimes when the gentleman comes to serenade her she would delicately lift the edge of the veil to cover half her face..... thus he cannot see her blush nor her secretly pleased smile. There was always an aura of mystery about it. You don't know what a niqabi is really thinking. True wearing niqab islamic style has nothing really to do with just culture or just delicate laced modesty. Wearing the niqab for some is a big deal. I'm one of those people.
I feel it is the next natural step in the chain of proper modesty. Niqab can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. For some a way to further the idea that they don't need to be judged by their looks but by what they say and do. Others wear it solely for the reward of doing sunnah. Some hate it and don't see why anyone would want to wear something so suffocating. Some view it as mysterious and like to use it as a way to flirt discreetly. Some try it out for a while and leave it others fight hard to keep jobs and wear it. Some wonder if the woman covers her face for extreme beauty or extreme ugliness.
No matter how you view the niqab it IS a part of Islam and many do choose to wear it. I had the opportunity three months before I came to UAE to wear it in Lebanon. I decided khalas this is it! I'm putting it! Iwent to a shop and tried them on and it felt wonderful. A proper niqab. In AZ on a bus sometimes if i felt uncomfortable by the stares of the other passengers i'd flip my hijab's tails to cover my face and surprisingly got less stares and i felt less uncomfortable. So i bought two niqabs and later was given a third by my husband's paternal aunt who has two niqabi daughters. At this time I had newly become pregnant with my second and also my husband and I began having many fights at this time. I was relieved to cover my face when i was angry and didn't want him to see my looks. We grew even further apart though because he couldn't see my rare smiles. He didn't want me to wear niqab since he liked my face and wanted to see it while we were out and about. But he didn't stand in my way and forbid it.
All my Lebanese in-laws had to get used to me being in it and I had to get used to it. It was a little bit harder to get fresh air. It was a struggle to eat anything liquidy like soups or anything messy and not get it all over the inside of the niqab. I wore it beginning in Ramadan and so we had a lot of feast of course and so each meal was very difficult. Also I had to stop being so loud and laughing like a hyena at anything remotely funny. I learned to cast my eyes down more since that is all a man could see of me now. Because I wore glasses I attracted more than a second glance and then people saw the blue eyes behind the glasses and started wondering. Sometimes at the ramadan parties I was shown off a little bit -Oh masha'Allah look at this AMERICAN wearing niqab. Like they had received a better in-law because I wore niqab when many american's don't even wear hijab -in Lebanon.
My daughter got used to it easily. SHe only tried pulling it off a couple of times before she got the hang of it. But unfortionatly it couldn't last. I was getting nauseous from pregnancy and needed more air to breathe properly. SO I took it off with the excuse of the doctor's saying I needed to breath better for the sake of my baby so people wouldn't trash talk me behind my back with the family about me taking it off. Surprisingly my husband and my fights lessened because now he could see my smiles and since he liked looking at my face it calmed him down more. weird effect but ok. SO I was disappointed but still happy I got to try it.
The other day I was looking for a new hijab to wear and was rummaging my hijab bag and ran across my niqabs. I smiled fondly and tentatively held it up to my face. My daughter laughed and wanted to try it on too. I let her and she played with it in the mirror. "Can I wear this to the mall?" She asked. I imagined the looks I'd get for having my 3year old in niqab and laughed. "Maybe you can't wear it." I replied. "But you can?" she asked. I thought about that. True nothing was really stopping me from wearing it now. "Sure!" I told her and ironed a beautiful light blue flower print hijab and my black niqab.
Now some people believe you can't wear bright colored hijabs with niqab but i'm not one of those people. But I did want to test the reactions to it. SO I wore it to the mall. It felt nice and secure and I noticed a lot more people really outright ignored me. I even tried to nod/smile to the other niqabis but they ignored me too. The funniest situation was when i was checking out baby clothes at the BabyShop and this family was carefully avoiding me. I'd move nearer to them and they'd move away. The woman wasn't wearing hijab so I thought maybe she was just unomfortable about it but then I tried an emeratian family some who were wearing niqab and they avoided me too maybe because of my weird fashion sense? Later it was time to meet my husband for dinner and I was apprehensive on two counts, my husband's reaction seeing me in niqab again and eating in niqab again. SO I went to the restrrom and in the stall changed my kids clothes and took them potty and diaper tie and all that then took off the niqab. *GASP* yes i took it off. I didn't want to ruin my night by having a row with my husband. When i got into the elevator I think an emeratian lady recognised my hijab colors and the same two cute little kids that were previously with the niqabi and she began whispering furtively to her friend, obviously about me. I told my husband I wore it and he was like "WHAT? Well I'm glad you took it off." I was disappointed because I do love to wear niqab I just wish i could flip it up for eating and being around my husband.....
I want to wear niqab like only half the time but I know that isn't a good thing to do especially when a lot of people know me at AL-Ain Mall. One day they'd see me in niqab and the other day not....yeah it would be confusing. By the way I do know it's best to wear it only for the sake of Allah. I just hope one day i can wear it all the time. The funniest part though was my son's reaction to it hehehe. He kept lookig into my eyes to make sure it was really me there.
I'm going to post a small part of a post I put on my private blog because I feel it needs to reach wider and everyone neeeds to take the time to appreciate their children more.
*I yelled alot at my daughter today and finally she's getting sleepy after three hours of trying to get her to sleep*.........My mind is working frantically though as she starts to wear down. WHere is this coming from all this hate and anxiety towards my own daughter whom I love so much and would go to great lengths for? Obviously Shaytan is messing with my head. So I begin reading Qur'an for us both and it calms her down to sleep and me down to clearheaded. Finally she drifts off and I march here to the PC to do some major research. I've had it. I'm sick of yelling at my kids and feeling like al-Qaida surrounded by "Kuffar". (ie hot blooded). ..... I feel like crap and they feel like crap and this is all not healthy at all and it has to change NOW not tomorrow. So I'm googling things now and I will post it to both sites the links though not the full story of course. I already hear your critisim beleive me I know what a poophead I'm being. I'm the one who has to look into their hurt blue eyes and trembling lips and so I AM trying to find a way to stop this. I know it all stems from the chaos of life right now but it's such a visious cycle. Kids up all night sleep in the day eat irregularly etc,.. it all ties together but I don't know how to get it to re-adjust itself..... ugh.... ok let me get these links going:
http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-can-i-stop-yelling-at-my-toddler_500774_1000.bc
How to Stop Yelling
http://daddybrain.wordpress.com/2008/05/20/stop-yelling-daddy/
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080111132054AALB4qR
Oh my god. I really am literlly crying now because I just read this aweful poem about child abuse and it's so terrible and yet so real and true that it kils me all over again that I even shout once at my kids. Ya ALLAH, please have mercy on me and stop me from doing this horrid thing to my kids.... PLEASE!
http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-can-i-stop-yelling-at-my-toddler_500774_1000.bc?pageSize=10&startIndex=10&questionId=500774&ownerId=1000
(about fifth or six comment down on this last link I found this)
"I too yell at my littl girl. Sometimes it's so fustrating and when shes yelling and crying and whining all morning, I feel like I'm not good enough and I'm not a good mom. Then I just break and yell back at her really loudly, and sometimes I start crying after because i feel so bad.. When I yell at her she gets scared and jumps and starts really crying, I just want to die after it happens but it's already done. I want to be more calm and patient, she is only 13 months but I feel so stressed out sometimes. Today was one of the few days that i really yelled back at her and I put her down for a nap, and went and relaxed for a while. When she got up I was trying to be really patient and calm and nice to her cause I felt so terribly auful. I then came to work today and a friend of mine sent me an e-mail called Blue Ribbon Against Child Abuse and I read it, it goes like this:
my name is sarah I am but three my eyes are swollen I cannot see I must be stupid i must be bad What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long. When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark, My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come, I'll try to be nice, So maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight. Don't make a sound, I just heard a car My daddy is back From charlies Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide, From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shoults ugly words, he says it's my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me, And yells at me more I finally get free and run for the door. He's already locked it, And I start to bawl He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But it's now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have Mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops and heads for the door, While I lay there motionless sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three Tonight my daddy Murdered me.
I know it's too sad and very extreme, but we must try to stay calm with our children, because they sometimes know no better. After reading this poem, I know I will make an effort to try and understand my chilkd more, and get angry at her less. posted 3/29/2006 by Guilty mother canada "
Oh MY, are you crying too? Can you just feel the girl's wanting to love her parents? Don't you look at your own children and think how often they just want our love too? Why am I doing this too my kids? Because I'm stressed about the hosue and marraige and life and everything? It's not even worth one tear from my baby. Maybe this poem affects me more because I have been in abusive foster homes and all I wanted was parents to love me and they wouldn't. We have so much love to give our children and we waste time doing other things. Ya ALlah.
Here's the last link: http://actagainstviolence.apa.org/specialtopics/yelling.html
This is very important.
A sister is trying to get the word out about Abusive Relationships and Sisters and their Children in NEED of assistance.
Please go there RIGHT NOW!
Tell her how you WANT to help!
It just takes 10 minutes of your time... come on everyone has just 10 minutes to spare!
Help sisters all over the world.
Click on the Post Title OR below:
http://daughtersofkhadijah.blogspot.com/
May Allah reward those who go and try. Seriously.
Imagine if it was your wife/daughter/sister/mother/cousin/aunt/niece in these women's shoes. I'm sure you would help them. So help others too.
I finally figured out that I'm a Red juicy Apple in a pile of Oranges. I figured this out one boring night at home, in front of my PC, on August 4th, 2001, when I was 17. I was sick of the chatroom where everything is so false and meaningless. I was sick of my neopets game where you play games to trade for coins to buy things for your pet online. I was so sick of everything and wanted something new and exciting to look up. Suddenly subhanAllah I was flooded with memories of many things that all added up to one thing. **My 10th grade teacher writing the five pillars on the chalkboard because today we would learn about Islam and I doodle the actual pillars into my notebook where for once I listened to her lecture instead of ignoring her daily lesson of the religion of the world.** **How much I was moved by the movie the 13th Warrior.** **My favorite history to learn in school was the Ancient Egyptians.** **The beauty of the movies the Mummy and the scene where she wears local dress of niqab** **My possible future of going to the U of A and studying sociology in Saudi Arabia** **My 10th grade teacher speaking of the charity and helping the needy that Islam follows and there is no one between you and God.** **My accepting that there is a God just a month earlier after being hard core Atheist for 4 years.** And soo much more.
It all pointed towards looking up ISLAM. So I typed it into a search engine and it came up with a few websites (this was 2001 people before the rush of net knowledge about Islam post Sept. 11th) and browsed them and was intrigued with my findings. Lots of praying, lots of charitable acts, "some guy named Muhammad who led them all and revealed their holy book", fasting for a month, once in a lifetime to hajj in Mecca. I felt I belonged with this. I googled Muhammad and found a horrid website calling our Prophet the worst of names and i don't know why I just blindly believed the website but at the time I did but I still loved the principles of Islam. (I didn't know it is Kuffur to believe these things about Prophet Muhammad[saw]). So I read that you have to say "Shahada at a masjid witnessed by two people" I read the shahada to myself to try it out on my tongue and it felt nice. Eager and excited that this is where I'd find my true place finally I rushed to the living room where my father sat reading a book in peace. (Sorry Daddy by the way for shocking you that night.) Normally if he wants to respond to anything I say while he's reading he just looks up from the page and answers then goes back to the book. "Hey Dad, can I have the keys? I need to drive to the mosque at dawn tomorrow and become a Muslim." He looked up slowly absorbing he words I just uttered. He carefully and calmly set down his book on the arm of the chair and folded him hands. "Have you thought about this? Have you learned about this?"
he asked. "Oh yeah I've learned about it in school and just now I was researching (for a whole 15 minutes) it online. I like it and I belong with them and I'm going to be Muslim so I have to have the keys please." I assured him breezily wondering why he wasn't hauling out the keys yet. "This is a big step and it's your life and all but maybe you need to go think about things again before you rush into something you might regret later." He advised and I frowned knowing i didn't need to re think about it. Didn't he understand I just had an Epiphany! But my father knew me way too well that when something is on my mind I just do it.. following my heart at the drop of a hat. So I agreed to think it over for a while. I went back to the PC and knew there was nothing to think over so I googled the location of the masjid and got the address and phone number. I got my father's map and tried to locate the masjid on the map. It was very hard. Then I sat and read a few more sites about Islam and thy said the same five pillars as the first. Finally about an hour had passed and I figured my father would think that was enough time for thinking so I went back. "Yup, I still want to be Muslim!" I said. He sighed and reached into his pockets. "It's your life and you can do what you like but just be careful and know if anything bad happens we will be here for you." He said. I grinned and took the keys and thanked him and then went to my room to check the map again. I set my alarm for dawn. And went to bed.
August 5th, 2001 I woke early to my alarm and woke up excited and happy. I got dressed in a long black skirt and a long sleeve black shirt with a modest neckline since i read they dress modestly. ( I do love black before i was muslim) Then I took my map and keys and climbed ungracefully into my Dad's Chevy truck. I saw the dawn sky brightening and the birds all chirping gaily and there was a crisp feeling in the air. The world knew my excitement. I had see this "odd" building many times in Tucson. It's completely white with a dome on top and I always told my parents I wanted a house like that they said it's a place where some people pray and I thought that was a beautiful place to pray (another clue I was always attracted to Islam). So I went there and it was located on 1st Street or 1st Place on of the two. SO I step out and look around the gated area. There was no one there much less anyone praying. I check the sky and the sun is just rising. I look again at the street sign and my written address. Oopsy the masjid address says 1st street (or place I've now confused the two over the years). I checked my map again and got lost trying to find the real masjid/mosque. Finally I spotted it near the campus of the University of Arizona. So I pull up in front of the masjid and hop out of the truck and lock the doors. I look at it and it is soo beautiful with a shiny copper colored dome. I pass a few men who look at me oddly and I give a tentative smile but keep going up the few stairs. I enter and am totally confused. There are racks lining the room and a large sign saying Please take off your shoes. I guess that is for the carpet area. It's a lovely plain blue carpet stretching without break all the way to the other side of a large empty room. Where are the seats? I wondered. There were about five random men praying by themselves in various positions which i had never seen before. Also there was a group of about 7 men sitting in a circle reciting something. I didn't want to intrude upon their religious things but I DID want to join them somehow. So I carefully kept my shod feet off the carpet and leaned in and looked around the doorway to the seated men.
"Uh, excuse me, how--" I began and was cut off by a man jumping up and shouting,
"No no, go around, you can't be in here. Go the other way." I was all taken aback and shocked and was totally like WTF in my head. At my totally perplexed look and obvious a lack of hijab he calmed down and asked a bit more quietly and a lot less rudely, "What do you want?"
"I want to join you. You know be a muslim." I was really afraid i was sounding quite stupid now. He paused then sighed. "Go sit on that chair and we'll be with you in a while." So I went and sat on a folding chair and watched as guys slowly filtered out and put their shoes on. The whole shoe thing was really weird for me. While I waited 20MINUTES! I checked out the dome and the beauty of it and had lots of time to worry about if I had done something wrong to offend that guy. Finally he and another man came over to me along with an elderly man with a dyed red beard (henna I later figured out). They explained this was a travelling sheik who would witness my shahada. "So did you think about this?" He asked. What was he my father? I sighed "Yes of course" "Do you know about Islam?" He asked. "Yes I researched it on the Internet." I was nervous they weren't going to let me be Muslim if I didn't know anything so I was using my bluffing voice. "OK well you need to say Ashadu-illaha-illallah-Mohammadur-rasulu-llah." He wrote it out and I stumbled over the words but got them out finally enough for them to except it. They smiled now. I sat there like ok now what. Then a african brother came over and was like do you have time for me to run to my house and get a few things for you and I was like sure. (I had all day because I didn't know how long it was going to take to become muslim) SO the man ran off. I waited and watched as the other men too soon began to leave leaving only two. Finally after about 7 minutes the man came back and gave me a book on how to pray and the times of prayer and tried to explain to me how timing goes. He gave me a copy of meaning of Qur'an in English with arabic too (still my favorite version of the qur'an I have and currently opened under my monitor). He also gave me two head coverings one creamy and the other white & a beautiful green colored prayer mat with a masjid on it. I thanked him for it then asked, "So how much is all of this?"
"it's free." he said confused and still smiling. I innwardly rolled my eyes. I wasn't born yesterday. The book alone was very expensive. It's thick well binded and beautifully decorated green with gold decor so therefore it must be worth something. "No, seriously I HAVE money." I explained.
"No, no it's a gift. Really it's free." He said again his smile loosing strength. I looked at him dubiously NOTHING WAS FREE -especially all this. At my expression and stony silence he tried to explain better "It's a gift for you becoming Muslim! We want to help you and make it easy for you. Just put this scarf on and pray like it says in the book." I smiled then warmly.
"Well thank you very much." I then stood and went back to my car feeling so free and light and everything looked so beautiful. I sat in the drivers seat and pulled out the cream colored hijab and folded it to a triangle and tried to wrap it around my head and then tried to figure out how to tie it to cover my neck. I tried a granny knot but my neck still showed. Frustrated of trying for a good five minutes i went back inside the masjid holding it. The brother looked at me confused.
"Umm, how do you put this thing on?" I asked and held it up. He laughed and was like "I have no clue but I think you use some pins or clips. Maybe if you come back at the next prayer then there will be women here to ask them." I said ok and then went to my truck and then tried again. I came back at the next prayer but no women were there still. S0 much for all Muslims praying 5 times a day at a masjid I thought to myself. Though I did see men praying formally for the first time and I admit it scared me a little I actually thought for a moment DID I JOIN A CULT? Then it passed from my mind and I reviewed the pillars in my head. Then I drove home feeling happy and heady and in love with this life Allah had given me and a new way to look at the world.
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It took time to adjust to my new life and for others to adjust to me adjusting mine and that will be another post later :)
I stood tired and weary at the supermarket. I only had 10 things so I was in the express lane. Just before I was to put my things on the conveyor belt two twenty year old Arab girls cut in and the girl smiles and asks me in Arabic, "Maleesh, bes heyda -It's ok right, we only have these" She hold up two shampoo bottles. I stare at her coldly and reply in perfect Arabic "Ana bes hayda kaman -And I have only these." And pushed my stroller to block their path in front of me and set my things on the counter. They scooted beside me still staring at me like they couldn't believe I wouldn't let them pass. I purposely didn't make eye contact again. After paying for my things I took my kids who were acting up by then to the restroom to change diapers and potty time. How dare those girls think they can just barge in front of me. We all had only a few things too hence being in the express lane. Sure if I had a cart full I would have let them go in front. The nerve, I swear! Then still at the mall later I needed to get a couple bottles of cold water so I go into the store get my water and again go to the express lane. It was only two bottles. There was a long line. A woman with a couple of kids pulls her cart behind me and then another lady behind her. Then this young arab man comes and pulls his cart in behind me. I wait a few seconds to see if he's going to keep going through the line or wait. So he didn't budge so I turned to him and in English said, "Uh excuse me but the end of the line is over there." And pointed to after the two ladies (who said nothing). "Ohhh, riiight ok, after these two ladies." He mumbled and moved himself to the end. Not two minutes later another big Indian Family tries to move in behind me. "The line is over there." I said and pointed behind the guy who was looking miffed at the Indians. Once they moved (with a nasty glance my way) to the back I turn around to find an Arab lady in her mid-50's had cut in front of me but it was already to late to kick her out of line since she slammed down her shampoo on the conveyor belt first. I did glare at her though. She nervously paid then left. I put down my bottles and paid then left too and went to meet my husband.
First thing he says to me, "I cannot believe these Emeratians, they think they own the world."
"What happened?" I asked. "I was at the Bank which is why I'm late because the lines were so long. We are all standing peacefully waiting our turn when in comes this Emeratian guy and Yalla to the front of the line. Not even thinking for a moment to wait in line with the others."
I tsked sadly and told him my day's stories and we sighed at the state of people these days.
So whats up with this rudeness, especially in the middle east I've seen this more. People think lines are just a suggestion. Though I admit sometimes they follow them but not usually. And when you come across this mob of people trying to reach the one person they all want sometimes you have to join in the throng or get nothing accomplished like at government offices in Lebanon or at fast food pizza pie places in Lebanon. It frustrated me because grown men will be shouldering aside women with babies in their arms and of course a mother has to back off or her baby will be crushed. I've even seen pregnant women jostled. disgusting. Being an American if any guy shoves me wallahi I shove him right back and they look at me startled but I just raise a brow and dare them to say anything. Sometimes they'll reach an arm over my shoulder to plunk their papers in before me and I have to literally grow taller (tiptoes) to keep the papers out of the government officials reach. Another ploy though maybe haram is to just give a good old american smile to the official and of course many times they grin back and go "Please Madam your papers?" I love that routine. The men in line actually step back and stop shoving when you are personally asked to present papers. Sometimes you just gotta use your feminine charms.
I think we all have the responsibility though when in normal lines to stop cutters by correcting them. If I hadn't said anything in the supermarket those two women would have never gotten out of there with their few purchases. This always makes me angry and I try to stick up for those being brushed aside. Learn some manners people. I don't mind letting you pass if I have so much stuff and you have two things but at least ASK me. Don't assume you have the right away.
Support Earth Hour March 26, 8:30pm, Turn Off Your Lights!
