American Muslima Writer -Daring to Work Towards Jannah

So I read this Awesome Book! "The Illustrated Pratical Encyclopedia of FITNESS TRAINING" by Andy Wadsworth

And I've been working on my eating plan, made myself a comprehensive healthy eating plan.
Instead of making a specific food for each meal I put the things I can have at that meal time and how many servings of each kind so I can make an informed decision even when I don't have a specific food on hand. (common in my house).

*ahem* yes as I was saying..... RESISTING!!!!  Like last night went with my kids to the park (at 11pm) and on the way we stopped for gas and "snacks" I told them before we went in Healthy snacks only.
OH MY GOODNESS trying to find a healthy snack in a convienience store was like a needle in a haystack. Sure they had fruits, like a pre-packaged Banana and an apple but my kids were not gonna be fooled into thinking that is a snack for parks. and I didn't want to deal with the sticky hands from the juice.  My son started out looking at the marshmellows and I firmly said no, put it back. Then my daughter saw Gummy Cherries, "Look Mommy, your favorite!"  No NO! Put them back!
Then I saw JELLY BEANS!!!! OHHHH I LOVE JELLY BEANS!!!! I was like ok just one bag.... I held onto them as I strolled around. We got to the cookie and cracker aisle. I started checking every package for Carb and sugar counts.... OH the HORROR of high carb counts! 60carbs per serving in most if not more! THen I looked at the back of the Jelly Beans.....WAY more than 60! Stupid me why did I even pick them up...old bad habits! I tossed them aside and finally settled on TUC crackers and SKYLINE crackers. Meanwhile both kids were literally crying and screaming everytime they brought me something sugary and I said No. But their tears just confirmed to me how badly we are all getting sucked into the unhealthy trap.
We made it to the Check-out with only the crackers where COCONUT M&MS assaulted my mind.
I even got sucked into thoughts of "health Bars" with rediculously high carb and sugar counts....which made me put it back....and then on the way out CHEX Trail Mixes in multi-tempting-flavors. I checked the carb counts and was like ummmm not bad carb count until i saw the serving size and servings per bag.. 7-10 servings each bag. So multiply 72 carbs by 7.  342 calories by 10...yeah no thanks......
we got in the car and realized we had forgotten water...but i was NOT going back in there.

 Any of that junk at the park wouldn't have lasted more than 5 minutes, ten max, but those two small packs of crackers lasted the three of us 50 minutes. pretty good! We even found a vending machine at Safa Park (which closes at 11:30pm so we got in free) and I thought the kids would beg for soda but lo and behold they lvoed healthier and begged for water!  YAY!!! Small steps!

It was amazing reading a Weight-Loss Blog "Escape from Obesity" about the brains pathways in habits. Very interesting! Go check it out!

So the last week I spent writing down my plan and fine-tuning everything and prepping myself to resist junks so that on Saturday I can start the workout part.  Yay!  They also have a nice spongy jogging path around the park I'm thinking to use for Rollerblading by myself. Weeee!!!!!

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Ah and of course Homeschooling and Work and everything is going on track too!  :D

Thanks for all your support and comments the last post :)

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On that note, I'm hoping to look in far Sharjah or Ajman for a nice house with a YARD for my kids to play in and have lesser rent prices. The only drag will be the long drive to Dubai for fun or Work, and lets hope the car doesn't break down....
But at least we will be further from the corruption and ........ the sea......
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In other news.... this is the first gun-crime I have heard of in UAE since I've come here!
Armed robbery in a convieninece store I believe in Sharjah!!!! They got 80,000 DHS!
No one has guns here except Police.
It was like some weird twilight zone feeling reading that news article.
"What? ARMED robbery?" "Maybe it's a typo?"
"There aren't guns here!"

It's a sign for sure.....     yeah maybe just stick with Ajman, Sharjah's getting pretty rough.
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Ah and good news finally for Quoz Industrial 2: Al Khail Gate Complex:
They started planting Palm Trees on the main Road entering near my house. And they got a BUS(F-15) to come into our area now that goes to Noor Islamic Metro Station.  So actaully people wont have to walk across the desert now. Althought he bus takes so darn long poeple walk anyways. But there is hope for the poor poeple here.  We might get some more trees and flowers in the next two years...it's hoped. I still can't see greenery near my house and kids still play in dirt... but still....slowly things are changing.




....of course as I want to move out......  :p

So much to discuss where can I start?
It is the new Islamic Month of Rajab, the Holy Month of Allah, to ask for forgiveness and make Astagfirullah. Purify your hearts more in preparation for Ramadan only two months away.
Seek deep connection with Allah in Sujood and in the night.
I am dealing with a mess of problems right now and it's all converging on my head and sometimes when you feel so overwhlemed you need to just step back and let some of them gloss over or leave them up to Allah.

I finally got a job last month as an English Teacher for an Education Center. It's a very demanding job with not nessisarily long hours but longer than I'm used to from my past work. But on the side it needs a lot of preparation at home. Hours and hours at home with my kids but having to ignore them so I can plan out lesson after lesson for all my classes of various levels. It breaks my heart. Completly.
But this is the Dunya and life is not easy.  I must help provide for my family. There is no other choice.
My children would suffer far worse than lack of time with me if I didn't work.

Having time to homeschool my kids has been the most difficult problem to overcome.  Last year when i was overwhlemed time wise I delayed my daughter by giving her "vacation periods" as needed. Where learning was minimized liek a summer vacation but still would cover the basics. I can't do that at this point. It's time for her 1st grade to end if I want to keep her on track. I had hoped this was the year to kick start her advancement but too many issue kept mounting up. I wanted her to start 2nd grade last september and then latest in January but it all fell through. Now I really need to kick it into high gear and get her through the last unit and finished then plan out the 2nd grade curriculum.
Also I really need to get my kids into some kinda club or outdoor playing routine for the Summer. Expenses are tighter than ever so that will be a big challenge.

Always there are the problems in a family, especialy a marriage relationship, to deal with. Always wifey stuff that has to get done and motherly stuff too.

Also I have a big SUPER challenge to get the rest of this weight off. I started out after my daughter at 115 kilos and got it down to 88kilos before preg with my son. Then after the birth of my son I was 104kilos. I've lost 30 kilos so far but I've been hovering at 74-73 Kilos now for a year unable to get under this palateu. My goal is by October 13th to reach 63 kilos.  Which will be healthy for my height. I've been getting stronger and more toned but the fat has still remained on top. It's not going to be easy to balence all these pressures on my time. I think 4 months is plenty of time to lose 10 kilos in a healthy way. Especially squeezing Ramadan in there and weight can madly fluctuate.

Speaking of Ramadan I need to make up some past fasts urgently.....

Nothing can be set aside at this point for a few months.  It's all going to take a seriously dedicated super organized schedule to pull it off and a serious firm commitment from me to actaully follow it without slacking.
*sigh* makes me exhausted just thinking of planning it.  I'm sure I've said all this a half dozen times before but I'm ever committed to always having hope of improvement.

Never give up hope in your life or you'll never win. Good Luck to you all this summer.

Where on this whole earth would you want to live if you could go anywhere for free and live there? What's your dream?


In my Queenly domain of Al-Quoz Industrial, covered in sand and a few paved roads. A lone tree on the side of the road attracts many world-weary men to crouch under it in the heat of the day. It is the sole source of shade between an intersection of hot asphalt and the remainder of the journey across dusty sand. There is no sidewalk to ease the journey to the local market. If you can't bare another trip through the sands you can walk on the road, at your own hazard of being hit by speeding cars or large industrial trucks hauling their goods.

Once you finally reach your haven of home and the shade of the buildings there is relief from the heat for the skin, but what of relief for the eyes? The eyes grown too accustomed to the tan color of sand, the beige buildings that cry for color. Here and there a shirt hanging or a window left open provides a hint of brightness to a stark landscape. Sometimes I used to wonder why the native desert people had such garish taste in color patterns for their clothes. Now I understand. It's so damn dull to see sand color day in and day out, you need something garishly shocking to make you feel a bit happier.

There are sections placed in our area for plants and even black hoses to water them installed, but where is the greenery? There is nothing here to cool our eyes. There is no leafy tree for our children to climb and feel the amazing texture of bark. There are no flowers for young girls to pick and tuck behind their ears. There are no worms for young boys to dig up and explore. There is only sand, sand, sand, and asphalt. These companies that own these properties make billions and billions of dollars a year and they can't even put in a few trees and flowers!?!?!

Sure this is the price many must pay for city life. You get to be close to a Metro, Malls, Money-opportunities...all those "good" things that begin with M. But what is it doing to our children? I grew up for a few years in a poor neighborhood just off the ghettos of South Tucson. There were trailers and poor people galore, but AT LEAST THEY HAD TREES AND FLOWERS!!!! My best friend had an awesome climbing tree in her own yard! Man the joy we had on that! I'd wander the neighborhood collecting flowers and plants I liked. Sometimes I'd get told off in Spanish but it was worth the price. I helped my parents take care of our little garden. Enjoyed running my feet through the grass. With such richness to explore what does a child care about poverty? What do my children have? Sand, lots of it. They have become excellent diggers. If I let them bring water they can make mud and build things.

Sure there are parks in Dubai. But for many families these aren't feasible to reach. Especially daily as kids need to get out and get rid of built up energy. It takes a long walk across aforementioned sand with the lone tree to reach the buses to take you to the park or you have to pay an arm at least to take a taxi. If you want to take the free shuttle to Mall of Emirates you cannot bring bulky items that you will be forced to haul around like scooters and such. Trying coordinate times to catch the next shuttle back home without missing the last one or having to sit for an hour or more with two fidgety kids is a tricky feat.

I want more for my kids. I want them to have their own space full of greenery. I want this for all the other kids suffering here forced to play with asphalt and dirt. Maybe we are better off then most but even many impoverished people have trees around them. When I get a job I was planning to save up and buy a lot of plants to put on our balcony and make it our own private garden. But when they go downstairs to play there will still be roads and dirt.

Sometimes the life of a farmer or nomad or anyone who gets to live off very close to the wildreness pulls at my heart. I'd love for my kids (me too) to be able to frolic through a forest searching for mystery around every tree. Jumping over a creek or climbing on rocky slopes. Feeling fresh and natural. Like life was supposed to be lived. Allah created plants for our use and for us to recognise His Greatness in the creation of Beautiful things. That is one of His Names: Al-Musawwir, the Shaper of Beauty. One of my favorite Names.
We weren't meant to be contained in a concrete jungle like we live in a zoo. Everything artificial and dull.
How do you gain such a life? How do you find means to live?


Where on this whole earth would you want to live if you could go anywhere for free and live there? What's your dream?

OK so it's a derogatory term that I never liked but in this case it's well aptly used and has no actual conitation to Indians.
Indian Giver was a term given to Native Americans who would "sell" you something of theirs, say Fur-lined boots for $20, but with their religious beliefs nothing was ever NOT theirs even when given away/sold, so often they would return and "take back" their item, without refunding the new owner their money. So basically they would take back what they had given.
Yeah like i said it's a crappy term but some people would do this. Not all American Indians of course are like this or would condone this, and I agree. It was a rough life out there on both sides of the fence and sadly the Indians often got the short end of the stick.
Which brings me to my Blog topic:
I've been searching long and hard for a job once Magrudy's Layed me off, (and SEVERAL others). Everyday I and my husband (especially my husband) have been sending out my CV (RESUME) for any job I remotly even had a chance at, and many I'd be perfect for. My Husband's Salary cannot support us alone. Not even close. Which is no fault of his, just reality. So I have to work (for those who would insist I should stay home).
I've had many many interviews with such a variety of companies. Each one you set out early in the day, dressed to the Business NINES, carrying a sunny smile and a winning attitude. You go through the ordeal of a tough interview with your dignity intact and then sit and WAIT AND WAIT for a call or confirmation.
Mostly nothing returns. Even though I keep getting top-listed for jobs there is always that SOMEONE who has that tad more experience or WASTA or degree that puts them in front of me. Finally FINALLY I recieved a callback for a second interview. Thrilled, I double prepared! Triple prepared!
I went to the second interview and nailed it head on! They e-mailed me the next day with an offer for a high Administration Position! My whoops of gleee could be heard at the top of Burj Khalifa. I jumped around screaming with my kids in the hallway as I told EVERYONE the good news. Thank Allah! My children wont starve next month! My Nanny wont be forced to leave from lack of pay!
Do you FEEL my excitement here? They called me the next day to confirm the offer and Salary.
A few days passed and my husband started to worry why they aren't calling me back to sign the contract. I said no problem they are busy, everyone just got back from Spring Break, maybe things are chaotic.
Finally I emailed them and waited a few more days then fianlly called them (twice). On the phone again I asked if the offer still stands despite the delay and was assured yes it does.
WOO HOOOOO!!!!
Stopped sending my CV out. Stopped accepting interviews. I prepared a detailed schedule for my kids and Nanny and began implimenting it so there would be a smooth transition back to working life. It's certainly not easy to get kids to bend to new rules and timings! It was a cranky house for a week, but it got smoothed out!
I even went shopping for groceries for the begining of next month, over spending a little just to make sure I wouldn't have to go shopping for a few weeks while trying to get into the routine of my new job.

I was mid-shower when the phone rang.

I finished up and hopped out and called the School back. The CEO changed the contract details of the qualifications, thus denying me the position. The offer was taken back, despite the overwhelming approval of my canidacy from the Head HR and Admissions Manager.
I do not get the job after all.

I'm a Customer Service Executive, so I keep my cool when people say and do crappy things to me (well professioanlly anyways), and so I polietly thanked them and calmly hung up.
I sat there on the edge of the bed, wrapped in a towel, drops of water rolling off my hair to splat on the tile floor and just looked numbly at the sun shining through the curtain of my bedroom sliding door. I just kept thinking SubhanAllah, Allah didn't want me to have this job and He wanted me to have insha'Allah something better than this. So I said my Alhamdulillahs despite my depressed mood.

 A heartbeat later my husband comes home in a jolly mood, cracking jokes and nuzzling our kids hello, making them giggle. I swollow hard. I don't want to break his cheerful mood. He greeted me and asked me if I heard back from the school. I winced and nodded. At my unhappy face he was like "What happened!"
So I told him.

It was downhill from there. Sunshine gone like a sudden blizzard on the praire. He couldn't sleep that night too angry in his heart about the sudden taking back of the job offer, and my Nanny too. It was confirmed in writing and verbally TWICE! I googled if this was even LEGAL, apperently it is even though it's crappy.

It's now the end of the month and because I lost a week and a half from the job search market I have no interviews scheduled until hopefully into the last days of April or begining of May. I'm mentally kicking myself for stopping sending my CV. On top of that through a glitch in the system of my husband's company he wont be getting his full paycheck until NEXT month at the end of May.  Thank Allah I stocked up on food but that was the last of our money. We'll have to resort to borrowing again and paying them back when I get paid, which is what we had to do when I had to start working for Magrudy's thus most of my monthly salaries went back to paying off people, May Allah Bless Them. Living like this is just depressing though. Having to resort to begging and borrowing again. UGH!
I was soooooo done with that when we left Al-Ain.

But I always have my Faith. Allah wont let us starve to death. He will give us something better soon. I put my trust in Him to get me a job or some means of providing for my family. Insha'Allah something turns up. Make du'a. There are a lot of people in worse situations.


So Raffles School, you are officially and professionally.......the Title of my Blog Post.
May Allah guide you from doing this to other people.

My Beloved Month of my Birth has arrived again. APRIL!
Normally I feel like Yellow when this month comes (see last year's post) but this year I just have the aching for BLUE! A lovely light fresh blue like the gorgious spring sky.
I found myself some lovely internet cakes and sugar flowers.
I'd love to get these dresses one day!

It just a refreshing color, the perfect start to a new year of renewal and figuring out things for my life.

I have my work cut out for me.  Trying to find a new job which has been tough.
Trying to sort out opening a new business and finding an investor.
Homeschooling, mommy stuff, wifey stuff, exersizing, dieting, friend stuff.
Want to get another book published this year insha'Allah.
New idea for another book plot to write in November's Nanowrimo.
Gotta just get stuff done this year and not let it pile up!
AS soon as I get a job I also wanna get rid of old things in my house like my couches and re-do them or get new ones.
Also hoping to travel to Lebanon and USA this year.  It all depends on what Allah gives me o work with this year. Insha'ALlah it will go smoothly.
I really can't beleive I've reached 27! I keep thinking really 27!?!?! Like almost 30?!?! What happened to 22? 24? oh yes, children..... hmm.... LOL!
I feel weird because I thought 24 would be my healthiest and now at 27 I'm getting much more healthy. Loosing a lot of weight and trying to keep it off.
I'm trying to reach 60kilos or under by July. Insha'Allah.
I wanna finish organizing my papers. As a writer I have boxes and boxes of papers. I decided that to get rid of them I'm going to just scan them all and save them on my external harddrive but finding time to scan has been the hard part.
Also wanna go through my closet and get rid of all those ugly enormous clothes I've had for years. Just get rid of them all and then slowly start a new collection. Much better styles now I can fit into better clothes.
Insha'Allah.
So a lot to do this month and take stock of and deal with but I'm looking forward to it. I love the number seven and I had a great year in 17...hehehe.  So enjoy this beautiful month and take stock of your own lives.
Have a slice of internet cake on me ;)
Love and Hugs!

Masha'Allah I am continuously amazed at all the wonderful Sisters Blogging out there in the world now.  When I first started up years ago there were maximum 200 sisters around the world daring to blog their opinions.  Now look at them! So many I can't even keep track or keep count!
One of my many goals in this life is to let Sisters come together more easily. By making my Blog Directory (when there wasn't any around years back) allowed Sisters to do this. To read about topics they loved, by fellow Sisters they can relate to. For a while I couldn't add any more Sisters to my Directory because it was taking up too much of my time. I was complicating the process more than I had to. Now I just streamlined it and have started adding Sisters again.
And OH! the blog fever returns!!!!  I Love seeing Sisters showcasing their lives and talents! And from all over the world!  I like a new Blogger out there http://notsooperfect.blogspot.com/ NOT SO PERFECT. Okay I'm partial to this blog cuz she's into Designing like me but it's more than that it's the outlook she has and the enthusiasm she writes with.  Go add her to your followers, she's really cool.
Of course there are countless others I've just added to the Blog Directory too that are really awesome.  One Sister in Arts Crafts n Hobbies (under the section Arts and Crafts) is having a giveaway of a beaded bracelet so go check her out too. The countries are starting to fill out more too. Recent newcomers from Pakistan, Nigeria. UK, USA, and European Countries!
I'm so excited really I am!
I do apologise and please forgive me Sisters who have asked months and years ago to be added, I will get to you!!!!!!  Life's rough sometimes, but Allah has given me time to add you now.
Please do go check out the recent blog additions and perhaps you'll discover a new friend!
Salams!

I changed my Blog Sidebar a bit and added my top favorite Posts.  The option you can add on Blogger of putting posts that recieve the most clicks is skewed! They will always remain top clicked because they are advertised so I wanted people to know more about me than my post on scarlet fever LOL. SO there they are in the sidebar on my blog! :D

Those not living here in the Middle East don't know the fear and oppression the people have faced daily for years and decades. In Lebanon they told me I'm so lucky we're not in Syria, where if you even whisper against the government you can get shot. Lebanon has it's own share of Politically Charged Environment but at least people are open there about their feelings.


I've always asked if there people are so miserable why don’t they take a stand? They OUTNUMBER Government officials! History has shown Civilian Revolutions are largely successful in large numbers.
I was always told, they'd love to, but they fear being shot to death in a large massacre.
Now here we are in the middle of an Arab Revolution.

Finally people are daring to get together and stand up against the injustices being done to them.

May Allah Bless and forgive the man who started it all when he set himself of Fire in a fit of rage to protest the injustice done against him. He was literally the spark of the revolution. Every person in the Middle East felt his pain and their hearts lifted. SOMEONE FINALLY HAD THE GUTS TO STAND UP AGAINST INJUSTICE, DESPITE BODILY HARM!


AND


THE


HEARTS


WERE


LIFTED.



As Egypt succeeded this showed the regions nearby that they could succeed too and no matter how many were killed to achieve it, the results would be worth it.

No one knows how far this will reach or how it will affect the future but I for one am with it.
I cannot participate physically but I participate with my du'a and with my words.
Every country here with a dictator type regime and a score to settle is preparing.
Those forced out of their jobs and livelihoods are preparing.
Those with family members killed viciously are preparing.
Children and grandchildren under decades of oppression are preparing.
May God help them all.
May HE keep their intentions pure.
May HE guide them to having Justice.


Has anyone actually looked at the map where this is happening? DO you see the circle widening? Yet the true center of the circle that has yet to be untouched is Jordan/Palestine/Israel/Lebanon!!!!! One of the most previously volatile areas in the Middle East!!! I think the eventual plan is to oust the dictators around this epicenter and install more friendly just governments in their place. Thus backing humanitarian efforts and having larger support to finally end the Israel/ Palestinian conflict. ALL these people standing up for Justice in the face of death, do you really think they will stop at the edge of their borders? No they will continue on. I guarantee you. It's all heading back to Israel. And this time they won’t get away with their atrocities. The world will now have their eyes opened to the real Middle East and what is happening here. Including those in USA. Now we will just see if they can actually stand up for the right thing or continue to shuffle their feet and stand there awkwardly at Israel’s side supporting their inhumane bloodshed.

The ironic thing I find though is the American People protested the War in Iraq against Bush. But they didn't do it with enough people and with enough heart! What they did gain was quickly stifled. Bush was a Gaddafi/Mubarak dictator who got away with oppressing his people and ignoring their demands for justice and peace. America you should feel with the people here and support us. Encourage Obama to help in a GOOD WAY. Lift your hearts and speak out.

People in the Middle East are reaching out to you, not against you for once. You should take that gift not shun it.

May God guide us all to correct decisions and bring a lasting peace to this region and further to the world.

AMIN