American Muslima Writer -Daring to Work Towards Jannah

We have all been at the moment where our path in life can swing one way or another. We have to determine, in whatever way we best can, the outcome of our life.
Sure, it's not easy, not ever.
There are countless factors to consider, people that the result will effect, and numerous follow-up plans to make. So how are we as lowly humans to accurately determine the outcome of our lives?
Many times we seek the advice of someone wiser than us. Our parents, our scholars, our teachers, our mentors, our history books, our friends, our family. This is a good course to take. Yet it is not enough.
Who in turn is wiser than them? Who have guided them to enable them to be wise? Their parents, their scholars, teachers, mentors, books, friends and families. Yet who in turn was wiser than them.... so on it can go. Until you reach the ONE who truly has Power.
When you think deeply about who really has the greatest effect upon the future of your life you have to think about that last word, Life. Who knows you the best and the options and obstacles you face? Who knows the fate of those around you to best determine yours in turn? Who knows the inside and workings of the world? Who knows the time of birth and death for us all?
Only One. He is there constantly, never needing sleep or rest or a breather. He is the One who Knows All, Sees All, Hears All.
So many people run and pay thousands to those who falsely claim to have a seeing eye that knows the future. Yet they forget the one who really does. They push Him to the backs of their minds especially in these times of trouble when critical decisions must be made. "It's not that I don't put my faith in God," they say, "It's just that man has to make decisions using his mind and not his heart." Yet did God not give us hearts to use as well as brains?
In times of depression, anger, fear, uncertainty, pain, loss, we howl at the world. We curse and bemoan our fates. Yet we should be only bemoaning ourselves. When we leave God to embrace the worldly life how sure can we be that He has not left us to fend for ourselves in veiled darkness?
Depression is a cold, miserable, lonely place filled with your worst fears and anxieties. You feel like you're constantly moving in a dense cloud, in a fog. You Can't see reason to live, eat, survive, or love. You feel forsaken and so you in turn tend to forsake the only One who can save you.
Yet those weakest moments in the middle of the night as you lay weeping on the cold floor are what can in turn change your heart, which will then save your mind. Slowly, struggling each movement as if it's your last, you get on your knees. Your palms sweat against the frozen floor as you balance your body to rest your head against the coolness seeking to bring it into your fevered mind.
"Oh God!" you cry out but it only comes as a whisper though it echos in your head. Your heart tightens with fear of rejection from the One you rejected. "Please get me out of this mess. Let me live as others live. Let me not feel the pain and humiliation anymore. Please forgive me for forgetting you, for leaving You. Please bring me back close to You, among those whom You love the most. I rely on You and Only You." Tears begin to well as you raise your cold hands to hold your face in repentance, still crouched over, knowing your lowness in the face of His Highness.
"Only you can guide my life back to right. Please forgive my transgressions and never leave me to myself even for the blink of an eye, for that blink can be my undoing. Only You Know the Straight Path. Only You Know the Way for me to reach You." Your heart beat pounds painfully as it tries to squeeze the sin out. They fall from your eyes, down your cheeks, to your cupped hands cradling your face.
"Please stay closer to me than my hands are to my face." You whisper raggedly feeling your elbows crushing into the hard floor, your feet loosing feeling as you continue.
"Please forgive me and Guide me along the Straight Path." You say once more tears flowing free. Your heart eases, you feel it then...His Power, His Presence. You Know then you were never really alone. All the time He was right there. Pressure lifts from your chest. Your heart pumps smoothly and merrily. You feel cocooned in His Presence ready to emerge a butterfly. Tears fall faster as you feel acceptance and joy indescribable. The veils of madness have cleared and you see the world with new eyes that appreciate the gifts God gives to you. You are humbled. You feel lighter and pure. You carefully wipe your eyes, not too quickly to seem ungrateful for those that were shed. Your back slowly uncurls until you're sitting on your bottom stretching out your legs and taking cleansing breathes deep into your chest and exhaling into the new world full of opportunities for you to undertake. You test the feeling of His Presence and sigh with relief that it wasn't a dream, He is there. You are able to rise now. Rise to a new beginning of Reliance of The Straight Path.