American Muslima Writer -Daring to Work Towards Jannah

Ah we all thought the little merry-go-round was too fast, too exciting, too daring..... little did we know the roller coaster that it lead to next was more extreme!

We wobbled off the merry-go-round looking like things were going to get better because Captain Panadol (Tylenol) and Superwoman Cough Syrup help save us from doom. Then they went to take a nap and a crowd rushed by us and swept us up into the line of a roller coaster and before we could even protest here we are flying full speed to only Allah knows where.
Daughter cries that the coaster is making her fever too high and the rushing winds make her cough up her lungs. Baby doesn't mind the hieghts anymore as his fever has vanished alhamdulliah but those winds are giving him one nasty croak of a cough. I'm trying to hang on so I don't fall off on the loop-de-loops but I also have to hold my WHOLE family in place and make sure that every 4-6 hours Captain Panadol and Superwoman Cough Syrup show up and try to slow the ride. (I feel like a pharmasist) When I thought I couldn't possibly be stretched further HUbby comes down over night with aches and pains, fever, cough and finally took my advice to stay with me on the coaster instead of running away to his cozy job free of germs. Though it's hard to hold everyone and myself on the ride we have a new re-enforcement of Flash Ibuprofen. He's super fast and super strong and he's taking the bite out of germs. While Captain Panadol and Superwoman Cough Syrup try to fix the coaster to stop, Flash Ibuprofen is the real hero because he keeps me and hubby sane enough to help the little ones. We are in a battle that is indeed mighty fierce but through it I know Allah will cure us and make my babies smiling again. For only with Allah is there cure. He gave us the Captin Panadol, Superwoman Cough Syrup, and Flash Ibuprofen and only HE can make them strong enough to help us.

Thank you sisters and brothers out there who have wished us well to recovery and plz keep us in your du'a.

Here we go merry-go-round, merry-go-round, here we go merry-go-round ALL FREAKIN DAY!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!

First it started out as an innocent cough from the far corner that is my daughter's bed at night. It moved up to a fever that kept her home from school for the day with some Panadol re-enforcements.
Now after Dr visits she's on anti-biotics for a full case of who knows what.
Then when we thought the ride was over the button was pushed again and it kept going...
Another more innocent cough started cuddled to my chest that is my son's place at night.
It moved faster to a full fever that started out my Jummah on a bad note
After Dr visit we thought it would be smoother like the first ride.
Then the merry-go-round started making odd noises and nearly threw us all off as son threw up anti-biotics twice no matter how I presented them.
All night with two kids fever and coughing that was barilly ebbed by beloved Captain Panadol, the hero of fevers.
After not eating all day because we were busy, hubby and I decided a treat to McDs would do to turn this merry-go-round ride from torment to fun.
Sure the food was good and daughter had fun on slides and climbing and son had fun playing with cardboard wrappings UNTIL!
Mommy nearly passes out from too much riding! I woosily get to the car and by the time we get home I'm beat and my head is throbbing. I weakly hold onto the merry-go-round and do my duty to my kids to make sure they are comfy in their beds as my body aches at every joint and muscle. My throat is particualrly scratchy and my head on fire. I down a ibuprophen and pray to Allah to make the ride stop just for a few hours so i can sleep. Allah answers my prayers and the ride is stopped but we are still chained to the merry-go-round. I wake up to three fevers, crying, now daughter yells tissue at the top of her scratchy voice every time her nose is a little drippy which is ALL the time. Also she says her eyes hurt as if she's about to go blind which frightens me a lot. The only reaon I'm able to blog on this merry-go-round that has lasted for a week now is because both kids are heat-comatose in fever and sleeping.
Ah but good things come to an end right? Please make du'a out there that we all get better soon and the merry-go-round will stop.

Sometimes I feel like a sock that has been knitted over and over patching each patch with a new color. Sigh I'm re-torn about life and blogging.

I've been maddly commenting on blogs far and wide getting a feel for what I love and am passionate about. Yes still Islam #1! That's not gonna change!
But thanks to Angry Muslimah (see link on side bar) I've re-awakened another side of mine... the compassionate one. I love about Islam it's compassion to those in need. Never before have I seen people who will take in complete strangers just because they are in need.
I read posts where someone "finds" a baby and milks it and raises it as their own. I think where's my baby? I have milk! Why can't I be the one to find a baby?!?!?! I'd love to raise an orphan as my own milk child! I want to help!
I read post where women have bad domestic problems and need a place to recouperate and someone to encourage them to get the help they need. ANd to put it bluntly spell out for them their Right in Islam. I want to talk to these women and encourage them! I want to shelter them and their children! I want to make a difference in someone's life for the better in their need of crisis!
I read posts about ignorance of Islamic laws and those men and women who don't follow the laws and cause harm to others. I want to educate them! I know lots about Islam! I want to teach them what is good and bad and right and wrong!

I

WANT

TO

HELP

!

So subhan'Allah it's increadible that maybe I can get a job (though a friend) at a government sponsored charity project for New Muslims, and those in Need. OHHH what a dream job and getting paid for it too! MAKE DU'A MY HUSBAND AND I GET THESE JOBS!!!!!
But this is why I'm so torn. Haven't i writen post after post about art and the need for a store here in Al-AIn and then in a blink I abandon my pet project for this strong calling I have to help others in need. Not only abandoning my arts and craft store but my writting as well! I've even put off meeting with an influencial investor for my store just to await word that I could get this job. Not only do my hubby and I need this finacial assistance but it is in a field we are both dedicated 100% to. Helping others in Islam and giving Da'wa.
But say I get this job then what about art store and writting and WHAT ABOUT MY KIDS!!! I've never been a working mother and I'm loath to do it because I love being home for my kids and taking care of them totally. Of course the ease of breasfeeding not done publicly and where will I put my babay while working?!?! I CANNOT PUT HIM IN DAYCARE HE"S A BABY!!!! I really really dislike putting kids in daycare without there being a strong need.
Oh man the ironies of life. My life has been stay at home wife/mom for past 4 years and suddenly in the begining of one year all these oppourtunities happen! It's amazing, subhan'Allah. I was just thinking what will bloggers think about this new job oppourtunity? WIll they think I'm fickle? Hmm let me make a poll lol...... But after reading about some women's plight I would love to help people make a difference that matters. So do I have a new goal? You betcha! Goal: Help people in need....

The talent to make art and to use what Allah has given us to beautify the world is in no way limited by a field of study. I believe all studies of interest not just "hobbies" do have art in them and an appreciation of aesthetic values.
We like a clean home because the orderliness of a perfectly arranged house is calming to the inner artist. (all people not just "artists") The perfectly matched decor, lighting, furniture, accents all inspire us to the higher self.
Suzie said in a comment that what do people do who don't have a hobby and I really tried to think about a job or a task that doesn't have the quality of art in it. Even Language is an art unto itself though we normally don't see it this way as some of us curse the moron who cut us off in traffic.... Every job has it's orders to improve and promote the product/company. Even the task of stamping "accepted/denied" on claims has art. Where to stamp to have the greatest effect on the page. Plus the act of stamping is an art.... I always wish i had my father's job so I could use his "official" stamps.
Even taking care of our children we incorporate art... dressing children=fashion design; hair brushing= coiffure; food preparation=culinary art etc....
So even in the smallest task there has the chance for artistry to be expressed. Though sometimes we don't feel like we are expressing. It's all about changing your point of view though. If you think I have 15 minutes to whip up something everyone's gonna eat you're not realizing the potential of your time. In 15 minutes you can arrange a beautiful plate of multi-colored food (which is healthier anyways) that will have your family sighing or you can mush it all together and slap it on a plate. My younger sister-in-law taught me in Lebanon how to make a radish into a rose and from then on I really looked at food differently. The possibilities are amazing.
So perhaps we should all take the chance and stop rushing through everyday tasks and try to realize we are making art. You're not vacuuming, you are re-arranging carpet fibers. You are not driving the 9-5, you are moving harmoniously in the flow of life, meshing with the ebb and flow of Allah's Will. and His Artistry.

Surah27,ayah88 "Thou seest the mountains and thinkest them firmly fixed:(3318*) but they shall pass away as the clouds pass away: (Such is) the artistry of Allah, who disposes of all things (3319*) in perfect order: for He is well acquainted with all that ye do."
*Footnote3319: Atqana: to arrange or dispose of things with art, or so as to obtain the most perfect results. The present phenomenal world and the Future that is to be, all have a different object and purpose in the Plan of Allah, Who knows perfectly what we are, what we do, what we think, and what we need. Who can praise His Artistry enough?

Surah35,ayah27-28 "27: Seest thou not that Allah sends down rain from the sky? With it we then bring out produce of various colors. (3910*) And in the mountains are tracts white and red, (3911*) of various shades of color, and black intense in hue. 28: And so amongst men and crawling creatures and cattle, are they of various colors. (3912*) Those truly fear Allah, among His Servants, who have knowledge: (3913*) for Allah is Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving."
*Footnote3910: Everyone can see how Allah's artistry produces from rain the wonderful variety of crops and fruits--golden, green, red, yellow, and showing all the most beautiful tints we can think of. And each undergoes in nature the gradual shading off in its transformation from the raw stage to the stage of maturity.
*Footnote3913: In outer nature we can, though colors, understand and appreciate the finest shades and gradations. But in the spiritual world that variation or gradation is even more subtle and more comprehensive. Who can truly understand it? Only Allah's servants, who know, i.e., who have the inner knowledge which comes through their acquaintance with the spiritual world --it is such people who truly appreciate the inner world, and it is they who know that the fear of Allah is the beginning of wisdom. For such fear is akin to appreciation and love --appreciation of all that marvellous beauties of Allah's outer and inner world ("Allah is Exalted in Might") and love because of his Grace and Kindness ("Oft-Forgiving"). But Allah's forgiveness extends to many who do not truly understand Him.

Those who have garden surely know the life cycle of plants and flowers and fruits. I eagerly go to my garden everyday to see if the tomatoes have gone from dark green, to pale green, yellowish, orange opaque, orange-red, and finally to that juicy tomato red that screams PICK ME! EAT ME! Such a long wait for a minute of satisfaction but it is worth it. It's a marvel to watch flowers slowly unfurl their colors not knowing the final result until they are in full bloom. Everyone knows the beauty of the rain and how it turns shades of green darker and tree bark deeper. Allah gives us beauty in everything He made. At the end footnote we learn the meaning under all of these messages is the spiritual message. That only Allah knows our shades of spirituality and can Judge us with His Mercy. If we seek the knowledge through fear and love of Allah then insha'Allah our eyes will be bestowed upon with the greatest beauties of artistry: Allah's Artistry.

When you make the time to remember He who made you it fills your soul with peace and your mind with tranquility. We are drawn towards religion to fulfill our heart's search for purpose and the need to know we belong. In my long quest for the "right" religion I have found only Islam answers the many Questions I ask and always with logical and heartfilling answers.

Here are a few Ayahs from the Qur'an to fill the ache in your heart.

Surah8, ayah2 "For, believers are those who, when Allah's name is mentioned, feel a tremor in their hearts, and when they hear His signs rehearsed, find their faith strengthened, and put all their trust in their Lord;"

Surah13,ayah28 "Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without a doubt, in the remebrance of Allah, do hearts find satisfaction."

Surah22,ayah34-35 "34: To every people did We appoint rites (of sacrifice), that they might celebrate the name of Allah over the sustinance He gave them from animals (fit for food), but your God is One God: Submit then your wills to Him (in Islam): and give thou the good news(2811*) to those who humble themselvess-- 35: To those whose hearts, when Allah is mentioned, are filled with fear, who show patient perseverance over their afflictions, keep up regular prayer, and spend (in charity) out of what We have bestowed upon them."

Surah29,ayah45 "Recite what is sent (3471*) of the Book by inspiration to thee, and establish regular Prayer: for Prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds; and remembrance of Allah is the greatest (thing in life) without a doubt. And Allah Knows the (deeds) that ye do."

Surah39,ayah23 "Allah has revealed (from time to time) the most beautiful Message in the form of a Book, consistent with itself (4276*), (yet) repeating (its teaching in various aspcts):(4277*) The skins of those who fear their Lord tremble therat: then their skins and their hearts do soften to the celebration of Allah's praises. Such is the guidance of Allah: He guides therewith whom He pleases (4279*) but such as Allah leaves to stray, can have none to guide."

Surah39, ayah45-46 "45: When Allah, the One and Only, is mentioned, the hearts of those who believe not in the Heareafter are filled with disgust and horror; (4313*) but when ('gods') other than He are mentioned, behold they are filled with joy! 46: Say: 'O Allah! Creator of the heavens and the earth! Knower of all that is hidden and open! It is Thou that wilt Judge between Thy Servents in those matters about which they have differed.' "

(#*) is footnotes in the passage that explain the passages more in detail and explain the meaning behind it.

The last one especailly I love because it shows that sometimes when you recite Qur'an and even say "Allah" instead of God people turn away from you in disgust. Yet don't be discouraged by them because Allah will Judge later who was right and wrong. Continue to remember Allah with Thikr(Remembrance and Praise of Allah) and be at peace.
Notice that each time it also says Regular Prayer because the 5 prayers are different from Thikr. Sure there is THikr in the prayers but they are differnt and are awarded a spereate catagory even in the Qur'an, though they are tied together usually. So yes though it is good to say thikr but establishing the Regular Prayers must also be done.

When I follow Islam and follow what my heart tells me to do (i.e. follow Islam) I feel better and more at peace. Everytime I try to break away from who I REALLY am on the inside I feel lost and torn and end up posting drivil at 4am on my blog "See TORN". What makes me special is that I AM Muslim and I do follow strictly Islamic teachings. Ok So I may not be a savvy news reporter or blogger with 50 comments for every post but I do say what is on my mind freely and know that it IS me. If I try to follow others instead of leading my own way I'll never be successful at what I want to achieve. So I must push away my doubts and stop critisizing myself for not having 50 comments for every post and just remeber if I don't get it out of my mind and onto the blog it'll keep eating at my heart until I do. I was born to write and to express my thoughts but I was also born Muslim and need to express that too.

So i decided each time i blog I will write a few Ayah that make people feel better and closer to Allah from the Qur'an. INsha'Allah this will inspire people to do good and to read their Qur'an.

For some people a life without use of creativity is like death. For some it's just another day. As I've seen in other blogs, and was forced to add my two cents, this is a widespread idea, that today, especially in the Arab countries, more and more men and women are being led away from creativity and more towards technical applications of their brilliance.
More people are told by their families that a life goal of being a painter, writer, dancer, movie maker, crafter, specialty designer is a waste of time and money spent on education. They want their children to do something that will bring them financial stability and home "honor" like being a doctor or scientist or computer technition etcetera. Now there is nothing wrong with these professions in the least, all are noble undertakings and if that is what suits your personality then go for it. But for many they do it just to please their families and go through most of their life feeling hollow and empty inside. Why? Because maybe in their pursuit of a stable career they have no time for their real passion which is the Arts (all arts). Which is using their creative talent to better the world and themselves.
Here in the Middle East especailly it's practically shameful for a man to want to be a dancer or a woman to be a film director or other such gender-related roles. Of course there are those that are brave and do what they like but many are pushed away from these goals. My Phillipino neighbor is an example of this. Now he may be good at his technical job and may even ENJOY it. But what is his REAL passion? Gardening. Expresing his creative talents through planting and nuturing Allah's creations. He's very good at it and you can see he really enjoys it.
When I moved into this small neighborhood the plants were dead from lack of water. The residents who lived in the main house apartments instead of the new ones bordering the "garden" didn't take care of the plants. They didn't have time or energy to expend. My husband and I were enthusiastic and had a dream of taking care of a beautiful garden that our kids could play in. In Lebanon especially Beirut, people don't have backyards to make gardens they just have potted plants on their balconies, so nature is a wanted commodity. After moving our stuff in we got a worker (paid of course) to clear the dead plants for our half of the garden. We had no neighbors yet on any of the other garden properties so the other dead areas still looked ragged and pathetic. We started planting and toiling in the sun. The first few days worms popped to the surface with all the water and earth mixing. The birds flocked in for the feast. And within a week things began to turn green again. Then soon our garden became a nice place to look at instead of an eyesore. But the rest of the neighborhood looked even shabbier in our splendor. Then my neighbor moved in and took his time getting his hosue in order and we feared at first he was the lazy sort that wouldn't fix his garden too and we'd be stuck sharing a weed lot. Then one day we come outside to see a bonfire of all the dead plants being burned. It was great. He cleared the lot and started his planting and it began to take shape. Day and even in the middle of the night my neighbor toiled and soon his garden put mine to shame. He had friends with beautiful plants that I couldn't afford to get. Soon more neighbors moved in and new bonfires were made because of this man's effort to beautify the neighborhood. Now about 6 or 7 gardens later everything is green with food or flower plants and people actaully spend time outside and let their kids run around outside. My garden is my comfort for being indoors too much. It's beauty is in thanks to my neighbor and our combined vision and creativity. If he had suppressed his talent only going to work and home to sleep we wouldn't have a thriving place to relax. We owe him a lot.
Other people too have such wonderful taents that need to be shared and expressed and if we urge them to just work for money we are loosing a vital part of our humanity. We are not cattle to be herded and worked. We are people allowed to dream and make increadible things. Our ancestors would have never imagined this world full of fast cars, internet, space rockets, and movies that seem so real. But a few DID dream it, did Imagine it and they changed the world. If we view creativity as only a dream instead of the hope for tomorrow then we are throwing away our futures. Allah gave us the ability to express our souls and to supress that is to deny our rights.
I visited someone recently and told them about my project for a craft store and I thought she would be suportive because she is in charge of a "western" pre-school which encourages creativity. She laughed and said it is a bad idea because here in Al-Ain the Emeratian women are "ONly caring about shopping, eating, buying toys for their babies, and visiting each other." I asked what about their children don't they value creative education and she said NO. They just think to let the children know their ABC/alif,ba,ta and numbers and that is good enough. "Most of the women will not try to get jobs here, why would they? They have money. ONly if they want to be a doctor or something that will get them more money will they work." I was angry at her(momentarily) for refusing to encourage her friends more to change thinking. But I know sometimes it is futile.
In Lebanon most men and women dont have time for arts and crafts and even reading books. If they can't make it in Lebanon's tough school system (tough in some private schools that teach 3 languages manditory and everything by memorization) they drop out at 15 and get married and within a few years start having children. Usually if their parents are highly educated the women may wait until they finish the schooling and then get married at 18. Then the burden of keeping your house perfect and then keeping your kids in line and helping them learn their memorizations becomes too much so they have no time to have hobbies. Most women relax by visiting their friends and having tea and maybe religious classes. The few who continue on to university usually become doctors and nurses and such. A very few become architects, painters, musicians, writers. When an economy is as bad as Lebanon's the arts are put last and day to day survival is put first.
When people ask me in Lebanon what I do in my spare time (when I first got there and didn't have kids and a house to manage) I would tell them I read, or draw, or write stories and I swear by ALLAH they would laugh. "Time to do these things IN Lebanon? AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" or "Masha'Allah you have so much time to WASTE. I wish I had so much time." Soon I stopped telling people. Then soon I began to have no time slowly and slowly I was immersed into their patterns of spending the day cooking and cleaning and then just relaxing with a cup of tea and good conversations. I'm not saying the life is bad or boring it is just lacking art. And for me that is like death. Slowly I began to have exagerated nervous tendencies. I was over stressed, biting my nails like crazy instead of idly like my whole life, my face would break out constantly from stress then I'd scratch it because I dislike anything on my face. People would ask me what happend to your face and i just say stress. They nod knowingly. But then I started demanding myself to make time to sing and dance and WRITE. I felt better and more alive and though yes my cleaning and cooking skills slipped but I was happier. My face cleared up and I laughed more. But sadly in this society if you can't keep up your house, problems soon surface. People will visit you unexpectedly and you have to rush around cleaning in minutes and preparing food on the drop of a dime. That was too much stress and I broke out again on my face. Soon I had to learn to schedule myself only an hour or two of creative time. The rest of the day was spent working the house.
So when I got to UAE I assumed since the poeple had more money and had maids to deal with the majority of cooking and cleaning I'd find more creativity here. I guess that's not the case. Sure there is MORE creativity here compared to Lebanon. But still not compared to the amount of people who do hobbies in USA. Architectually this is a beautiful country. Straight lines mixed with curves in a plesent manner everywhere even the malls are glamorous. But that is the work of a few not the whole society. We need to Dare to dream that our creativity can change things for the better in our society and let our kids do more to satisfy their hearts.
I'm glad recently there has been a movemnt to change. Now when I go places I see some differences, "Kids for arts" campaigns (Al-Ain Mall), more arts and crafts in some westernized stores (ELC and BabyShop). I think with so much western influence and the excess of money and freetime peole are starting to notice the arts more and be compelled to them. At least that's what I'm hoping. SO I hope also that my arts and crafts store will support the artistic community and encourage others to take up something new. We can't let creativity be just a dream. We have to LIVE it.

I feel like that old song by Natalie Embrulia (sp?) TORN... "Nothing's right I'm torn..." but unliek her I'm not "all out of faith". I read Muslim blogs and it makes me scream at myself that why aren't you being a better Muslim and promoting Islam, Qur'an, Hijab etcetera. Why do you just whine about business and politics and spend so much pointless time reading "controversial" blogs. Sure it's interesting to see them fighting their opinions out but does it really matter? DO they change their opinions? Nope. The same A-holes keep slamming Islam. Ignorant of what it REALLY IS. Sure some are corrupt and don't follow it but there are SO MANY who do! In Lebanon I used to get my weekly deen lessons and not only that I learned from my friends who were so good. One friend especailly I miss. She IS strong and mash'Allah so sure of herself and her role in this life. She's a convert too so I know where she's coming from. She doesn't accept to be lazy at all in Islam and I always looked up to her but now I'm so far away. I was better when i was around her.
So now I'm so torn should I yet again change the style of my blog? It must be pathetically confusing for anyone reading this. First I'm a writer, then business wanna be tycoon(or just lady), then arab news blogger, then? then? then? Being from USA means I see the other's point of view so easily but sometimes I'm missing the biggest part of my own life. I'm Muslim and a strict one at that. Strict doesn't mean I'm alwzys good though. I have my lazinesses and weak spots. My friends in Leabnon used to help me with these. Masha'Allah I had THE dream about PROPHET MUHAMMAD (sallahu alayhi wa salam-sp?) the night before i was to see my friends and ask them for guidance about missing prayers. This dream has always given me strength to remember I can do it.
My blog doesn't stand out and say READ ME. If I wanna whine I should do it on my other blog but this blog needs to be something special. And most the time i feel it's sadly lacking. I saw a really good blog which posts nothing but self-improvement Islamic things and i was so happy. I felt better after reading her blog. DO people feel better after reading mine? I doubt it. SO I must ponder things more and decide what I will do. Maybe it would be better if I had a larger fanbase.... I could poll them hehehe. But the only way to get the huge fan bases like i see on these political blogs is to get everyone all fired up and fighting and then that doesn't make anyone feel good either. Is it a catch 22?
DaVinci says I should be following my impulses and I try to. I did chase a marching parade. But I want to be impulsive on my blog too. Should I reveal more of who I am? Should I reveal more opinions or facts or passages or or or or or!!!!!!?
*sigh* this is what I get for blogging in the middle of the night...nothing but questions and a headache.....if I had an investor or a book contract I wouldn't be in this mess ebcause I wouldn't have time to blog I'd post one of those "I'm too busy being rich and famous to blog today" remarks I see someties and my audience would sigh and go I wish I could say that instead of BLOGGING AT 4AM!!!
hmm maybe I should reveal a strange quirk about me everyday.....
this is besides the point all this!!!!!!


I have a duty to Allah to spread my knowledge far and wide, all of it! What is the point of gaining knowledge is you don't apply and then teach. Example: We learn to pray, we pray, we must then teach others to pray. There are dozens of websites out there about each topic and I feel lieka copy-cat if I try to be like them but inside I'm so many different things so it's hard to label my blog to one thing.... off topic again... should i change something? if so what? Or do people like my quirky blogs the way they are?

Well my family had a treat today!
All of a sudden when we were sitting in the garden (to get away from the noicse of my hubby's drill fixing stuff in the house) we heard a marching band practicing. I knew there was an empty lot next to the boys school a half block away where they might be practicing but i didn't know what for. I shrugged and put it out of my mind. Then my husband left for work and had to have his co-worker pick him up but he couldn't park outside our house becuase the street was suddenly closed off by a police SUV. That made me more curious so I took out the stroller and plopped the kids into it then ran into my house to change out of my "gardening" hijab into my "street" hijab. By then the muslic was out of earshot but I was determined to catch up. I raced the stroller as fast as I could walk down the street and around the corner where i saw the traffic backed up. I wanted to run but that would look bad: a hijabi, with kids, in a stroller, running...people might panic i'm in trouble. So Finally I caught up with the baked up cars then passed them to the end of the "parade". There were beautiful horses in three lines (about 12 horses total) and they were trotting slowly and some doing circles. I told my daughter to wave to them and she was in awe but waved. Next came some scouts (based on their uniforms not actaully my knowledge of who they are) and they were shouting slogans in Arabic. Next came a mixure of locals men and (for the first time i see) women and their children all dressed in local clothing but with UAE flags or the kids with UAE flag colored balloons and dresses. There was a large number of wheelchairs and I figured this might have something to do with the theme of the parade. Next came a group of about 7 men walking in the front --with security all around the sidelines (avoiding my fast walking stroller). Then came the best part for my kids, the marching band in red uniforms with black, red striped pants. They were marching in perfect unison (I know because I used to be in Orchestra and my friends were in band so I used to watch the bands too) They were playing alively tune to catch the neighborhood (and tv presses) attention. The funniest part for me was seeing the BAGPIPES!! I was like is this tradition to play them or they just like the sound and adopted it from the scottish? (I have scottish ancentry so i was very curious). The leader did look pompously proud of his group and i guess he had the right to be he was leading princes (or high local authority).
They marched (and I followed like the nosey American I am) to the front of Al-Ain Mall's main entrance. By then i could see the front banner and the part that was in English: Zayid (local rulers) House Welfare for the Handicapped [or something to this extent]. SO this was a good cause and so the rulers posed for the cameras in a line and then went into the mall. I was able to follow surprisingly close and was like only 4 people away from them on the escaltors up to the second floor. Then they took the next stair escalator up and i had to take an elevator so it was slower. I rode up with the handicapped chairs and got to the presentation stage. I missed the cutting of the ribbon but I watched the high locals tour the handmade crafts for people to buy. Then they all sat in a row next to this stage (2nd floor) on blue cushoins while the others sat behind the half fence in the dining area for the food court. They had a projection screen down and were loading a powerpoint presentaion on the handicapped children and adults making crafts and how much they need finances and such (all in arabic I'm just guessing from the pictures). The royalty were offeered first pick at a basket or chocolates and then it was passed to the others. Then the royals were offered first coffee in special cups then fruit drinks and then i think it was a tea. The others weren't offered anything to drink that I saw. I was in spitting distance of the royals since i was standing behind the fense but on the sidelines. (No offence about the spitting part it's jsut a phrase) SO I watched the going-ons until my daughter was being difficult and my babay boy was whinning. SO I took them to browse the crafts and felt bad i didnt' have money to help buy some when clearly I'm supporting their cause by following them upstairs. (I just didn't have any cash--I AM a poor writer). So finally after their hopeful looks had passed to the next in line i was free to leave and by then the kids were really acting up and so I rushed them home.
Which is good because I had accidently left the door unlocked and my cell phone in the garden in my haste to leave and catch the band. I love the lack of crime in Al-Ain.

Well so far no sponsor/investor. I'm a little downhearted but I'm sure soon things will turn around. I have a gut instinct and it tells me to keep waiting and soon someone will come to the rescue. Things do fall neatly into place though. I went and saw a location again and this time talked with the manager of the real estate. He gave me some pointers so I wrote a business letter to secure placement for the shop i want for a whole 10 days. My Hubby will take it to the manager tomorrow. I made him laugh by not knowing who the owner was (who is a Sheik of high importance in UAE). But in a good way laughing. He liked that i was clueless. I hope this works to our advantage. I'm just hoping everything falls in place IN TIME! I know it's ALlah's Will what happnes and doesn't so I'm not very worried just hopeful that Allah has WIlled for this to be the place for the shop.

I've talked more with my co-partner in this business and we clearly need to hash out more ideas because we had two completly different business ideas. This is a flaw of Arab business, very little "pre-planning". They talk on the phone: "I wanna make X Business and 50-50 profits."
Investor "OK lets meet." So they meet and what happens it all gets explained verbally with very little written. Later down the road a problem happens between the partners and no written agreement was made and someone gets screwed royally. I will be sure everything is written down to the littlest remark so everything is clear.
So I clarified what I want my business to be but it's kinda scary to demand what you want and put the other person's idea to the shreader. But I know for sure what I'm planning will be big and awesome and work to not only bring in the money but will provide a unique service to the town. That's what's important after all. No one will buy from you if you're not helping them.

On a new note I just recieved "The DaVinci Method" a book to help those of us with the gift of DaVinci/ADD/ADHD/Bi-polar/etc.. learn to control and use our gift to the best instead of repressing it with medicine. Everything rings so true for me. I'm the kind of person who sits around dreaming using only 10% of my ability until a crisis happens (usually made worse by my waiting) and I rev into 100% and demand everyone around me do the same. But it expl;ained to me that people i work around may be giving normally their 20% and rev it up to 30% max and then think i'm putting too much preasure on them for they work best as a cog in the wheel instead of the axle that turns things. It's so facinating. And fianlly a relief to stop thinking of myself as lazy, ADD, procrastinator and finally as a creative genious who has all the potential i give myself to have. So parents if your kids need ritalin or you need ritalin or adderal then read this book first and save yourself moeny in the long run not buying drugs. Google it: "The DaVinci Method" It's fabulous! I've read half the book so far and I can't put it down. It also lets you realize the different brain waves you use diffeernt situation and what you should use to get what you want out of your mind/body. Like I'm usually in Alpha/Theta phase most the day unless my HUbby comes home and is like why haven't you done this or that then I rev it up to 100% (in Beta, where Normal people always stay) and get things done fast then kick back to my alpha stages. He just sees a clean house and doesn't understand what I had to go thorugh to get things done. But we're working on harmonizing.

See the arival of my book to help me learn to focus better (which i thought was lost in the mail and never would come) came that ezact day and moment I was feeling bored and anxious in the house because i had no sponsor and was running out of things to do with planning the business. Now suddenly I have so many new ideas again. Alhamdulliah, Allah KNOWS when we need something and gives it to us.

All this spare time though has let me pent out my frustrations on my garden by shaping it up after staring at it everyday blankly. Nothing better to tune your thoughts back to sanity than to kick a shovel deep into the earth and rip up a mountain of black gold (dirt) and spread it where it needs to go. I have now a carfully bordered L-shape flower bed to put in transpalnts and new seeds. Masha'Alah nothing so comforting than to plant seeds and watch them grow. My neighbor helped me last night and I took the initiative while he wa at work to finish the rest of it because he doesn't liek to see me working i think. Everytime I shove that massive shovel into the ground happily he goes Pleas please let me do it for you. And because i know he LIKES to do it and I like people to do their passions I let him and fuss around with a small shovel just so i have something to do too. But today I did it! Muuahahahaha!!! Then i have to go to Carrefour to buy more seeds before he sees the empty bed and runs for his seed bag beats me to the planting hehehe. SO Maybe if my Hubby will give me more money tomorrow i'll go get seeds. I'm thinking blue for that side. The other side has purple and Multi-colors so I think we need more even colors for the small side of the L.
Thanks to all the recent comments I was so pleasently surprised to have so many after months of jsut one or two I actaully had 7 today. I was shocked. Happily. Thanks and I' m trying to comment on yours too but some websites I write a long comment then never see it posted and that's frustrating!
By the way I DID go to the Rugby Club Arts and Crafts Show. It was terrrific! It felt just like being with my mom at her shows but only smaller. Lots of Photographers too with their awesome pics. I really wish I had money to buy something but I had nada. I really wanted this children's book with beautiful hand colored pictures but my Hubby said we couldn't afford it. It's a beautiful book though. It encouraged me though that there was a high calling for arts and crafts in AL-Ain. (Aso the day it was held was the day after I thought of having an arts and craft store and low and behold a show was that same day? Coincedance or fate?) Allah's Will for sure.