Salam Everyone out there.

Today subjects: Blogging, Jobs, Male Friends, Family Time, and UAE Culture.

It's hard to believe I was a "post a day" Blogger at one point! Where does time go? I still love the blogs and although I rarely get a chance to read any I love seeing new sisters starting up theirs and connecting with others. I'm really gonna have to sacrifice a night or two of sleep and add the rest of the Sister's blogs they've been requesting onto my Blog Directory because I know how much benefit I gained in my life from Blogging. I want other sisters to gain the same. New friends, new ideas, a place to vent, and more importantly to learn. Also to keep your iman up. Sometimes when you're lonely and you feel there are no Sisters out there who are sharing what you feel you only have to search for a relevant blog and I'm sure there will be dozens facing the same issue as you.

I'm happy I've gotten this month of March to refocus what I want in life and to have more time with my kids. It was seriously depressing having to leave them daily for work. When taking care of the Mother and Baby Books section at Magrudy's I'd seriously get into a mental funk wishing to be with my kids. I would literally have to stop organizing half way through and go walk around the store for a while or text my husband how I felt. He was very supportive and always encouraging me that my sacrifice for our family would be rewarded by Allah SWT.

Am I happy I lost my job though? No. I enjoyed seeing new people and learning new things everyday as I browsed the books. I enjoyed helping people. Plus the job search going on now at home is daunting and annoying. Just when I think an interview went well and I'm sure to be a shoe-in, they never call back or they email me the position has been filled. Obviously not by me. UGH! Oh well...! But as I said many times I made Dua for this chance and Allah has given it to me. Be careful what you ask for does apply here. I do have the chance to explore new options and new fields I might be good at but on the other hand I'm disappointed when they don’t materialize.

I've received counsel about my huge Masjid-Humanitarian idea. Although the source of that counsel is a confusing person who seems to have two faces.....I did take his words and used my personal indicator of truth to figure things out. Now is not the time for it. and The Govt. won’t be very supportive. So I've had to move to Plan C. (Plan A: JOB, Plan B: Masjid). Open my own viable company and raise awareness and do good through that and earn enough money to start up my own humanitarian efforts.

Working at Magrudy's also taught me something that has serious made me think deeply: Can men and women really be friends in Islam?

I had many GOOD Muslim Male co-workers. They were polite and respectful to me. But they were also fun, funny (yes there is a distinction), likable people. Their worldly concerns I gave my advice to. I would look forward to seeing them everyday from the tediousness of the job. When transferred from City Center to Ibn Batutta I was glad one of "guys" was transferred with me. And at Ibn Batutta I met more "guys" who I got along well with. But as a strong Muslim I do agree that men and women shouldn't be close friends as it can make fertile grounds for problems in the relationship. I do keep myself mostly a little distant from them. Try to advise like a Sister or Mother would. When joking stay away from Haram topics or lewd jokes that I might talk about with my GIRL friends. Keep my distance and maintain my rule of no physical contact. I never have shook their hands and I was very careful never to bump into them even by accident. They too respected the boundaries and encouraged me to always be a good muslimah and reminded me of praying times and made sure I had an adequate place to pray from the eyes of strangers or anyone. They watched over me like a Brother or Uncle would. Not having Islamic Brothers or Uncles it was nice. So I've come to regard them in my heart not as co-workers but actually as friends. Friends I have to maintain a strict code with, but still friends. A friend is someone you care about what is happening in their life and how their life is going. A co-worker or an acquaintance is someone you just see during working hours and go home and don’t think about them again. When I go home I still think about them and hope they are doing alright and make dua for them. Having pure intentions and a pure heart makes this kind of relationship possible. Perhaps this is what they call a Business Friendship? A friendship with rules? I'm not sure and it's a strange feeling for sure. I don’t recommend it for any guy girl relationship but both parties have to be respectful of Islamic Laws and not compromise that in any way.

I'm working on the Business Plan of my new Business Idea which is a Luxury Cafe. I have chosen my key staff from the friends I have made during work, both male and female. I have assessed their personalities and work ethics and have chosen them for specific positions based on their talents not just that they are my friends. So now I'm in the position of having not only them again as my co-workers and Business Friends, but as my Employees, which creates another dimension to the relationship where I will have to have another set of rules to govern all behavior. But so far it has been interesting having Business Meetings with them and seeing their new talents emerge and trying to let them have enough freedom in their roles to build the Company but not too much to have 5 or 6 Directors.

Having an open honest policy Rule helps. I don’t want there to be a secretive atmosphere where everyone is walking on eggshells never knowing what comes next. Companies like that never thrive. We know each other’s salaries and all have the goal of making the company achieve using our best assets. It has been fun and exciting to plan it all out and their ideas are supporting mine and subhanAllah its turning out a great idea. Meanwhile in case this doesn't work we are all still trying to get regular jobs. But we are closer and closer every few days to getting things in order. We've organized most of the basic Plan and are now looking at locations and then it will be time for involving an investor. I'm hoping to find a Lady Investor because I want to promote Women Business Goals. She wouldn't have to do too much either and would still get a large profit since we already have a full team. Insha'Allah, Make du'a for us.

On another note one of the places I had an interview at is The Sheikh Mohammed Centre for Cultural Understanding: "is a non-profit organization established to increase awareness and understanding between the various cultures that live in Dubai. Operating under the banner of “Open Doors, Open Minds” the SMCCU strives to remove barriers between people of different nationalities and raise awareness of the local culture, customs and religion of the United Arab Emirates."

They are the ones who run the Tour at Jumeirah Mosque for Non-Muslims to learn about Islam and the Mosque. Also they have Cultural Breakfast, Lunches, and Private Meals to teach the Culture of UAE for those wishing to learn. As an interviewee I was invited to attend these events and it was amazing really how open tourists and Non-Muslims were to learning Islam and UAE Culture. Another Interviewee who I became good friends with, a German Muslimah, also attended and afterwards we were asked many questions by the tourists. It was fun being able to inform them and change misconceptions in a friendly way. The tourists were also excited to be able to have access to Muslims and be able to openly talk to them without stigma of seeming stupid or ignorant. I like their Open Door, Open Minds Policy. It really benefits both sides. Even if they don’t need me in the job I'm still going to fully support their organization. I suggest you check it out too. (I'll be adding a permanent link in my sidebar later). UAE has such a rich culture and is full of interesting customs and tidbits that NOT learning about them is such a loss. Insha'Allah more people will benefit.

Now for the next week I'll be wondering what Allah Wills for my life. My family cannot survive without me having some kind of pay soon so I hope He brings it swiftly enough. As HE is ALLAH, He knows how long I can live without money, but we still must make du'a for an opportunity to come and not just sit on our bums waiting for it.

Until next update I wish everyone out there health and happiness.
Pray for the troubled regions in the Middle Eat and the People of Japan.

7 intelligent thoughts:

Anonymous said...

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I spent 4 hours searching in the network, until find your forum!

Anonymous said...


Actually in Islam there r no "friends" between the sexes so giving your opinion on this is totally out of place.
You call yourself a strong Muslima but then you have your picture up with all that make up on?????
It must be hard being a single Mom, why not look for a husband instead of guy friends, you sure r pretty?
May Allah make it easy, I will pray for you.

Oum Luaith

Anonymous said...

sister, i'm making a Muslimah blog directory and I was wondering if you want to submit your blog. If you do please email me at!


Safiyyah said...

Salaams Brandy

Miss you too. All will work out. Sorry for the short comment. Just wanted you to know that I'm reading! Use this time at home as a vacation.

American Muslima Writer said...

Oum Luaith,

May Allah guide you for your harsh critisism.

Firstly, I AM Married. For 8 years now going on 9, alhamdulillah.

As for Make-up, lets make that a further blog topic and you are welcome to come back and critisize me more if you dont like my explination.

And finally as for Male Friends. I think I clearly defined my opinion of that. I said I believe in Islam's RUles of not having Male Friends but under THESE circumstances where they are people I work with daily and they keep Islamic boundries and so do I. Under a work relationship, it is not Haram. I'm sure you have Neighbors, husbands of your friend whom you know and care about as human beings. You make dua for them and worry about them.
My "Male" Friends are not like my Girl Friends. I dont call these guys on the phone or text them or email them about anything that doesn't strictly relate to business. Also I do report to my Husband everything that happens with them so He is aware and can draw the line if it ever becomes blurred. Which insha'Allah it wont because I am a professional at work at all times.
May Allah make it easy for you. I will pray for you.

American Muslima Writer said...

Rabia, good luck in your Directory!
I also have mine and if you haven't submitted your name also please do. I will send you mine when i get on that account. :)

American Muslima Writer said...

Saf welcome, I've missed you here!
Heheh yes a stressful vacation ;)

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