9:14 AM

When to Hajj?

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

For many of people out there Hajj is something they can do every year. They make their yearly plans and get on with it. For a great many others Hajj will be a real once in a lifetime opportunity. Many have to decide WHEN they will go to Hajj. Common Sense tells us that if a person wants all their sins forgiven they should wait until they are much older and have had more sins to wipe off. Others believe "No time like the present". I think the majority though do it when they can afford it. No matter what else is happening in their lives or how old they are.
I've been thinking very hard lately about when my chance will be to do Hajj. Just yesterday I was reading about it and getting misty-eyed at the thought of traveling the path that millions have trod before. The idea that I will be surrounded by millions of fellow Muslims bowing in front of the same object that our beloved Prophets have touched amazes me and fills me with a great longing to go there.
When I left Lebanon I made the intention with my husband that we would come to this new country (UAE) and try to save for Hajj. So far not even a half a dirham we've managed. But the problem with planning for Hajj is not just the money. Sure, it's a big part of it but that's not all.
Children. You can't take small children for Hajj. Perhaps you CAN but I would be deathly afraid. I've seen on TV people being trampled. Grown people with strength and height. My little toddling headstrong boy and my waif thin daughter don't stand a chance. I have to wait to do Hajj until they can physically be capable to join us. Since we are going to need a long time to save up that kind of money I was thinking, "Why not wait until they are pubescent?" Therefore when we go for our Hajj they too will have undertaken their personal obligation for Hajj. I think that's one of the best gifts a parents could give their child. Plus it would be an awesome bonding experience for a family to do together.
My sister-in-law H (the older one) left her sufficiently older kids with Tayta (her mother) when she went for Hajj. This too can be a good thing if you have someone reliable to watch your children for almost two weeks and if your children are of an age where they can stand to be away from you for so long. My two would go absolutely crazy without me there. The longest I've been away from my daughter is overnight when having my son and she was with her Father and Grandmother so not so difficult for her. And I've never been away from my son for longer than an hour, you know like once every two months. So for me I have no one here in UAE that can watch my kids for two weeks. Plus my children are the most important people in my life and why would I leave them out of the most important experience in my life? The things they could learn from Hajj are just as important as the things I could. And they could learn it at an earlier age .
Some selfish parents (I think) will leave their young babies (some of them still nursing!) with relatives to go for Hajj when they could easily wait a few years more until their children are more mature to understand the slight abandonment. I don't understand these parent's mentality at all. How could you circumbate the Kabbah knowing your darling baby is in tears wondering where it's Mommy/Daddy has run off to.

So for now I'm thinking to keep trying to save up for Hajj for when my kids are like 15/16 years old (unless in the future Allah Wills for me to have more younger children then I'll have to postpone until THEY are older). I think that age would be perfect to understanding and taking on the challenges of Hajj. And again it would cover their accountability of completing a pillar of Islam.
So when are you planning to go for Hajj? Do your children factor into When you will go?

6 intelligent thoughts:

Susanne said...

For some reason I thought the older folks got to go for hajj before young ones since they are running out of time (well, if they die oldest first that is ... not always the case, of course.)

I know someone whose father applied to go and he was in his late 50s. He got rejected both times even though he put on his application that he was terminally ill. Then I see young 20-somethings going because they have connections to someone in Saudi Arabia. That just seems weird to me. Perhaps that situation only exists in Syria.

Interesting post! No hajj for me. I'm not a Muslim.

S. E. Jihad Levine "Sister Safiyyah" said...

Salaams Sis:

Perhaps one should go to Hajj when Allah (swt) provides the opportunity. After all, we never know when we are going to die.

yulia madjid said...

alhamdulillah I went to Mecca for Haj couple years ago when my son still in elementary school. if you plan for Hajj with ikhlas insya Alah everything will going well.
happy ied al adha 1429 H from Indonesia

Hajar said...

Alhamdulillah, I never really planned for Hajj. My parents brought me along with them. ^^ I reckon that one shall go when one feels right, and may Allah S.W.T. offer His guidance as to when it will be.

Anonymous said...

as salamu alaykum

I don't really know what to say, I didn't plan Hajj yet, insh'Allah Allah will plan it for all of us.. Ameen!!!!!! And I don't really know what I would do about my children...I just mention an ayah from the Qur'an that helped me recently to understand a lot:

wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. But the good righteous deeds (five compulsory prayers, deeds of Allâh’s obedience, good and nice talk, remembrance of Allâh with glorification, praises and thanks, etc.), that last, are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope. (Al-Kahf 18:46)

jazakiAllahu khayran for passing by my blog ;)

MyHijab said...

This has been one of hubby's and I main conversations this past month. I cannot and will not leave my kids so that I can go to haj. I just can't do it. Hubby went on his own last year and I saw how my little girl suffered even though her mama was right with her. Imagine we BOTH leave her? no way

I don't understand mother's who do this too. I have seen 2 mothers do this and their kids really did suffer. But then I suppose kids do forget and they may or may not get over it. I don't know.

I would ratehr wait until the kids are older. I totally agree with you.

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