9:10 PM

First Friends

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

I've had a moving experience lately.

I was called one day suddenly out of the blue a few weeks ago about a Canadian Muslimah with three kids who needed help finding a hosue and a job here in UAE. Immediatly I did my best to call people and see about getting her a job but subhan'Allah everyone turned me down. Next I thought about the housing problem. Next door to me they were building houses and so I told my hubby to find out more info. He did and so finallyI had something substancial to tell this sister. But something held me back from calling her right away. I hemmed and hawed a few days and everyday my husband would say have you called her and I'd make stupid excuses why I hadn't.

The truth of the matter is I was scared. When you let someone into your life you have to expect your life to change. Either for the better or worse. Everyone you meet impacts your life in some way and I was scared of how this unknown sister in need would impact my life. Finally in the middle of dinner at the Mall I just took a few calming breaths and called her (after my hubby heckling me of course). I told her I had some info about houses and I'd like to meet with her when she had the chance. She sounded confused by my call and like she was too busy to deal with my call right then so I hung up feeling a bit sweaty but relieved i got the contact over with. Soon after I got sick and my family did too and every so often my husband and I would discuss her situation and we talked about the posibility of her staying with us if she needed. After I felt a little better I called her up to check up on her and she sounded more at ease and definitly interested in meeting me ASAP. So I arranged for her to come to my house and as soon as she stepped out of my hubby's car and onto the sidewalk and we exchanged kisses I felt this giddy feeling come over me. I welcomed her and her cute three kids into my home and we chatted non-stop. We tried to check out the houses near me but the owner was being shifty so it was a dead-end there. SO we walked up to Al-Ain Mall to socialize and get some dinner. It was a lovely walk and having someone to talk with while you walk is something I haven't experienced for a long time. We prayed together (my first time leading a woman for over a year) and ate together and shared experiences. We really clicked well together and had fun.

Finally it was time for her to go and so I bid her fond farewell after we relaxed in the garden for a while at my house. After she left I felt restless like I needed to keep talking. I needed to keep interacting. But I only had my kids to deal with. My huband was tired and hungry and just wanted to sleep soon after eating so I didn't get to chat much with him. We both agreed how nice she was though.

A few days passed and I called her to ask if I could visit her and she agreed at first but then she became so busy the next few days that I couldn't see her. I felt like i was walking on eggshells because I didn't want to seem pushy and I didn't want her to think I'm trying to stalk her or something. Sometimes I think someone likes me and then later I would find out that I like them more than they like me - so I'm cautious about overstepping boundries now. So I waited a few more days and it was finally Jummah(Friday) and I decided to cal her and ask her to have picnic with us in the park. She said she was busy because she was going to a gathering for Moulid (Prophet Muhammad's Birthday) then at the last second she asked if i wanted to come and then arranged for me to do so. I was excited. All these women's number's I had (who live in Al-Ain) for so long in my phone i was about to meet them and I got that scared feeling again. How would they impact my life?

I went to the party and had fun but the best part was really seeing how much I got along with this canadian sister. I felt drawn to her soul as I had been drawn to many of my closest friends before in the past. SO I insisted to take her home and she accepted and when we got to her house and I walked her inside we were laughing SO MUCH. She invited me the next morning (THIS MORNING) to her house and I agreed. I spent the night hemming over if she likes me as much as I like her. (this is a big issue for me)

This morning was one of the most relaxing and best days I've had since I came to UAE. We had coffee and hung out with our kids and let them run around on the grass, we laughed and chatted and had deep conversations abut life and meaning there-in. We affirmed how short this life is and how we need to think about the next life and how to get to Jannah (YA RABB!). It was the first time I felt like I really belonged as a friend since comming to UAE. She's the kind of person that you instantly become best friends with. I enjoyed my morning so thouroughly that when my husband came to pick me up in the early afternoon i was so sad. SO of course I'm worried about still if I like her more than she likes me when she invites me TOMORROW MORNING to come again. That settled it for me. OK she likes me or she definitly wouldn't invite me THE NEXT DAY. So now I will have to beg my hubby to drive me all the way again. It's amazing how much we have in common, though we grew up so far apart. She's even DaVinci like me (I let her read the book)! SO this afternoon I felt an emptyness as I wandered my house. Once again I had only myself and my small kids to talk to. I Missed having a friend there to chat with when something enters my head. It's weird for me this sudden need to socailize because I've spent the past year and few months pretty much by myself all the time and got used to it. I never knew how much I missed having friends and how much friends can be good for your life. I've been a better Muslim since I met her and I've tried my best to impact her life in good ways (insha'Allah).

The sad part of this is her time in UAE may be temporary and I might loose this friend (though there is always e-mail!) but next time I think I wont be as nervous to meet people. That I'm becoming more confident about letting new poeple into my life.

1 intelligent thoughts:

Yasmine said...

first of all, Assalam alaykum sis. I know what you mean about letting people into our lives. I tend to be very welcoming and friendly and then feel as if Maybe I'm being stalkish because I really not. I don't even like to call people that often. I like to be alone actually for some odd reason. I although I like good conversations. sometimes I do want to have someone I can call and know they care about what I say without feeling as if they are thinking they wish I would stop talking already but Alhamdulilah I don't desire someone's friendship too much. I have a few loyal friends and acquaintances. So i rather have fewer loyal friends than acquaintances. I think kids are fun so you can do alot of things to have fun with YOUR children. afterall you are the one who will impact their lives. shoot me an email if you like to exchange IM or whatever. I'm 20 years old so I don't know if you would find me at all interesting. lol

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