11:18 AM

T'-V or not T'-V

Wrote: American Muslima Writer |

After thinking really hard about life and how short it is and how I need to consintarate on the spiritual matters of life more and encourage my family to do so. I really thought about how TV is the root of many problems in my house. What does hubby do when coming home? Eat and watch the hilarious Conan O'Brien. Ok we also watch CNN/Orbit news programs or comedy shows or a rare movie. What we are not doing is sitting down and reading qur'an as a family or playing games as a family or doing ANYTHING as a family. In the afternoons it's a TV war of who gets a turn. My 3 year old is obsessed with Playhouse Disney.

She will literally cry and put out all the acting stops to get her father not to have his turn on the TV so she can continue her marathon of DISNEY DISNEY DISNEY. You say it is my fault and you're right it is. I relied too much on the TV to amuse my daughter when I was pregnant and then after i had my son. I wanted her to leave me in peace to put the baby to sleep so I'd put on disney or a movie to keep her entertained because I didn't have the time to play interactive games with her. Now I'm paying the price and so is she. She's hooked day and night. The only way to get her excited about waking up in the morning is to say "Oh look Disney is on TV". She hops out of bed and runs to the couch to slump there-in until i get her dressed. Now Playhouse Disney does have excellent shows for pre-schoolers and she has learned a lot about life from these shows and I am happy she learns things not just mindless zoning but ALL DAY!?
This is time she can be pretending with her toys or interacting with me more and I think i need to lay down the law now to everyone in the house. No more TV all the time! I thought about cancelling my Orbit subscription but then I think about that what if i want to watch how the latest war is deveolping on CNN? Is this shaytan whispering in my ear so I don't ban my TV? You betcha. I have my workout DVD's so I can't just ban the TV altogether so maybe i should start limiting it for now and see how that works first. I want my family to be less materialistic (not that we are or can afford to be but what we have is not really needed for this life) but where does one draw the line? I want my family to spend time on Islam but does tossing all unnessisary things guarantee that this will happen? If I get rid of all the junk we've accumilated and all the stuff we haven't touched in months will life really improve? Where is the moderation between living with the bare essentials and getting by in today's world? Movies are fun especailly for kids and gives them a chance to flex their imaginations, thought they ceratinly aren't nessisary Islamically so how does one balance what to get and not to get in this life? I want my family to reach Jannah insha'Allah but I don't want to deprive my family of a "normal" life. I want us to be closer and to have quality time together. I want us to be as minimalistic as possible without being barren. Why waste our precious(meaning rare) money on things that will not benefit us in the next life? I want us to have experiences yet I don't want us corrupted. How do I achieve balance?
Sometimes I just want to smash all the unnessisary things!

10 intelligent thoughts:

Ann said...

Assalaamu alaikum,

Well, I just came here to say "You're in Al-Ain?" We were there last year during the spring break; we stayed there a couple days on our way to Muscat and then on the way back again (to Kuwait). We had a great time there - the kids went ice skating at the mall, and we drive up that mountain (is it Jebel Hafeet) and went to the zoo... If we come through there again, we'll have to meet up insha'allah.

But on the subject of TV... well, I might watch the news once a day, but I can do without it. The kids don't watch at all on school days, but on the weekend they can pick a movie ahead of time and watch it. ( is a great website for finding out exactly what's in a movie so you can decide whether you want your kids to watch it.) It's true that there are some good shows, and sometimes there's something beneficial, but they can also use their imaginations by reading books, writing stories of their own, etc.

Miss Muslimah said...

Assalaamu alaikum!

I can say that hubby and I banned tv in our home and it did create alot of free time to do study and do other things....when we had no tv(yeah,pasttense,its a looong story,for another day,lol)I was always reading some islamic books trying to learn arabic,just studying period.Hubby and I spent lots of time together but when I look back we still spend a decent amount of time together..I guess it depends how attatched one is to the tv.My hub is not really a tv person any way maybe thats the difference,i dunno.
Its definately something that'll help you spend more time studying or spending time together as a family,insha'allah hope it works for you!

American Muslima Writer said...

Wa ALikum Assalam Ann, Miss Muslimah:
That would be cool to meet you someday let me knwo when you'll pass through again. I do tell my daughter stories and read her stories (though not liek i used to before the 2nd preg.) but she really picked up english really fast when watching tv and she copies phrases all the time from the tv. SIGH. thanks for the link and for sharing!

It's good your hubby is not TV person like mine who just zones when tv is on unless it is news then i'm free to discuss things with him about the news UNLESS it's arab news then i shut my mouth because he's not listneing to me at all LMAO. Yes I look forward tot ehis time of studying for all insha'Allah. Plz blog to us the story of gone and back again tv I would liek to hear that.

Safiyyah said...

As Salaamu Alaikum Sister:

My hubby loves the TV, too. He says it watches him (meaning he falls asleep). The minute he puts it on, it's like a tranquilizer to him, lol!

Yasmine said...

NO TV. I dont watch tv. come to think of it. I probably have not watched tv for about a month or so. lol. goodness

Susie of Arabia said...

The problem with having the TV on all the time with young kids is that it tends to become the babysitter for them and unless you are there with them, they could be viewing things that you don't necessarily want them to see. There are many great educational shows for kids, but having them use their own imaginations or developing a love for reading books is so much better. Good luck, AMW!

Anonymous said...

Salaam Sis,

Good topic........ I think especially here in the US tv is bad bad bad.....Its not safe for kids....heck I have seen cartoons kissing and having relationships at 1100 in the

I am glad you are thinking about doing something..eliminate it alltogether or just cut back and moniter.......

I wanna be a mommy like you when I grow up....

American Muslima Writer said...

Am- Lmao I'm sure you'll be a great mommy and you're already more grown up than me. I just turned 24 heh.
Suzie- you're sooo right. It became a babaysitter most of the time for me so i could be withthe baby without her waking him or making problems for me.

This whole thing of cartoons kissing frustrates me to no end. In most Disney movies it happens and my daughter does feel the passion behind it and understands it's a show of love but when she was smaller and saw lots of princess movies and then Increadibles (with it's many kissing scenes) she tried to kiss me and her father SIDEWAYS (head tilt) andI had to explain to her that she doesn't do that only a married man and woman do that. She stopped alhamdulliah but it always creaped me out after that to see it in cartton wondering how many parents don't watch the movie and explain things to their kids and they are on the playground Sideways kissing their little pals.

Anonymous said...

Asalaamu 'alaykum sis,
may Allaah SWT reward you for trying to do the best for your family fi sabilillaah.
I agree with you that the TV brings much more harm with it than good, and I hope not to have a TV in my house when I have kids too inshaAllaah. Best wishes on ousting the TV!

Anonymous said...

A good game you can play with your daughter when the TV is gone inshaAllaah is called "Qur'an Challenge" if you can get it inshaAllaah, it's a really beneficial boardgame, Alhumdulillaah.
But even without TV, just spending quality time with the kids will be amazing and well-worth it inshaAllaah.

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