American Muslima Writer -Daring to Work Towards Jannah

I'm a chameleon. I can go from situation to situation and blend well wherever I go. It doesn't mean I'm happy it just means I adjusted. When I was younger and into Palm Reading and all that BS. I read that the life line on my left hand which is broken three times across and then continued meant that I will have three seperate catagories in my life that are life changing. At the time I thought it rediculous I could change my life three times. Yet Allah has changed it far more times than that. My years of Confusion were spent in constant turmoil. As I mentioned before my biological mother was mentally ill and unable to take care of her first four children and then her next three children so the government took them off ehr hands and put them in foster homes FIRST "BREAK". In foster home after foster home I learned new religions and new ideas about how life really is until at 8 my father got custody of me along with his wife (my new mom). SECOND "BREAK". I had a difficult but more normal childhood after that but the scars were long lasting and of course teens are full of theirselves. I didn't know how to let go of my anger from my past and find my way in life. I always felt like a chameleon but never actaully fitting in where I was. Like a bright red juicy apple in a bucket of oranges. I tried and tried to be an orange and I coulnd't accept I was an apple. One of my therapists told me about a Society of creative Achronism where they re-enacted Rennascanse life. I was into that so I dragged a couple of friends into it with me (they still play) and learned dancing, sword fighting, rapier fighting, etc... It was fun but after a time it became apperent this wasn't for me long term. I still didn't fit it. Sure I wore the dresses and did the dances but i was still being a chameleon.

When would I be able to stop changing colors and just be my natural self? Well, here comes the THIRD "BREAK"