Followers

Has anyone really thought of this word housewife before? WHat does it mean? A wife of the house? Can people be housewives without being married? THEN what do we call them? HouseMissus? What about men who are housewives what should THEY be called? Househusbands? Who said anyone had the right to define me by my house anyway.
You mean because I enjoy cleaning up my house and watching over my children and teaching them from right and wrong that I'm stuck with this label? You mean because I don't earn money in what I'm doing my job title is housewife?
Some like to mask the word by saying HomeMaker.... true I do make my home nice but i would call someone who builds houses a Home Maker. I save my husband money by cleaning my home myself than to hire someone to do it for us. Believe me I'd love not to clean ever again really I would but it would cost a fortune.
But I'm not just a woman who chooses not to "work" at a job. I'm doing what Allah put us on this earth to do. Be a comfort to mankind and be a mother to children. When my husband's had a bad day at work I try to make sure he has a place to go to forget his troublesome day, take a breather and relax so that when he has to return then he can have a calm head and do better.
A lot of people look down at someone who stays home. Especially in Saudi and the Middle East. Now now before you jump on my back I know some people DENY and REFUSE to allow a woman to work and they don't have any other choice, this is not the object of this post. My words mean those who CAN work at a JOB but choose to stay at home.
Many women go and earn themselves a PHD in Brain Surgery then get married and get pregnant and decide to stay home with their children and everyone sees it as a waste of their talents. Is it though? She's doing something she's happy to do. So who are you to judge her for that? She's not oppressed or "popping out babies". She living her life how it best makes her happy. One of my relatives said to me about my daughter, "That girl's got some brains in her head don't let her grow up to be a cow." (meaning a baby-popping milk giving housewife-) There are some women who cannot last a day sitting at home dealing with "home" life, they need the workplace, they need the school place. But others, like me, work best in an environment that they can control themselves without a boss or teacher over their heads.
I could have gone to a number of different colleges if I had wanted to. I'm smart, I'm ambitious, I'm able to work hard and work my way quickly up the ladder of success. But that path in life would not have made me happy. I hate homework, love learning! hate homework. So after my 12th grade was finished and no long HAD to go to school I was happy to stop. The idea of spending another 4 to 8 years of college seemed not only daunting but sickening. My friends have pretty much all gone to college. I met my husband the last month of 12th grade. I spent the next year living on my own and working small jobs here and there. Finally we got married and I moved to Lebanon. My husband asked me if I wanted to go to school or to work and I asked him "do I have to?" He said no so I said NO. I liked being able to stay home and write my novels. After having my daughter I was happy to stay and teach her about life and to care for her. Then when coming to UAE unfortunately it took my husband almost 6 months before he got a job so I had to work for 4 of those months. I chose what I'm best at working with small kids and teaching them fun new games and such. I also am good with organizing and secretarial but you need "education" and "experience" with that and I had neither-though i can do it. So I worked and when my second baby was too far along to work I stopped. Alhamdulliah by then hubby was working again. Sure if I worked we'd have more money for me to get a maid but then I'd have to put my daughter in horrid schools and my baby in a nursery and stop breast feeding him full-time and I'd be exhausted to do much at home much less write (or blog). It doesn't seem worth it. If I find someone to finance my "Dare Your Creativity" idea and my kids are old enough to not be a bother at work then I can deal with them and working, maybe I'll think about it... but for now, no thank you.
I'm a wife-
I'm a maid-
I'm a mother-
I'm a teacher-
I'm a source of nutrients-
I'm a writer-
I'm a creative thinker-
I'm a blogger-
I'm a dreamer-
I'm a idealist-
I'm an organizer-
I'm a driver-
I'm a chef-
I'm all these and more...


BUT I'M NOT A "HOUSEWIFE"!

6 intelligent thoughts:

Habayeb said...

lol dunno why but the pic reminded me of the stepford wives :p ahh now theres sum1 like me who doesnt like to work! yay! i love staying at home, goin to uni, reading, n developing hobbies.....i MAY work but that doesnt seem to be happening in the near future or maybe just do sum temp job for a a month or so...rite now im just planning to volunteer my time sumwhere once or twice a week....i just DREAD having to wake up early n go to work and do the same monotonous thing..i mean yeah i do wake up for uni but we have diff timings each term n sumdays no classes lolz so thats way much better than work. yeah id love to earn my own money n do whtever i want wid it but not in the mood for it now..i just like my uni life....ive been told MANY times i shud work n blah blah blah but im HAPPY not working ya know....not like we are dumb or anythin! just our choice!

ammena said...

masha'allah, it always bugs me when i hear women looking down on those who choose to stay at home. My mum does it with my cousin, she says she couldnt do it... ok, so you couldnt, noone thinks less of you.. so stop thinking less of her! it annoys me.. i dont know how my life will turn out yet. Allahu alim ;P Love your blogs by the way sis.. keep em up

Anonymous said...

salaamu alaikom
if a housewife IS all those things, what's so bad about being called a housewife?

Mrs. S said...

My degree is in Economics, and one area that economists have recently begun exploring is unpaid labor, i.e. the house-spouse. This is a term used for both men and women who stay home. When broken down and calculated a stay at home spouse's work is worth around $117,000 per year. Categories include counseling, cleaning service, teaching, landscaping and financial planning.

Personally, I think every woman should take part in some form of continual education whether it is a formal degree, adult education classes or just a love of learning. Even if she does not choose to pursue a career outside of the home that does not mean her education is “wasted”. We are the first people our children are going to learn from. Subhanallah, who better to share our knowledge with than our children?

This doesn’t mean that every woman is meant to or should stay home. Some women are terrible stay at home spouses and some women can “do it all”. My husband and I live and work in one of the most expensive cities in the world. I could stay home, but we are young, do not have children yet and our life style is significantly better because we both work. I don’t think that I am following God’s purpose for woman any less. My husband and I comfort each other even better on some levels because we can relate to those things we share, like family, and those things we don’t, like office space.

In the end it is about doing what is best for you and your family. When it’s all said and done we have no one to answer to but our creator.

Anonymous said...

When a Muslim woman is a lawyer she can advocate for others facing injustices. When a Muslim women is a physician, she can alleviate pain and suffering. When a Muslim woman is a businessperson, she can donate significantly to assist the poor and needy. When a Muslim women is a journalist, she can articulate the situation of others in need. These are all requirements of Islam.

When a Muslim woman chooses to have a domestic existence (her choice), she prefers to help herself only. She chooses to have children and professes the great job she does for them; while existing orphans, widows and the disenfrancised do not benefit at all from this attitude. Islam is about identifying the needs of others and helping, not just domestic: I-don't-want-to-deal-with-the-big-bad-world attitude from some Muslimahs. Education must be used directly to assist those less fortunate. This whole "choice" thing is avoidance for real responsibility. Your fertility can be controlled, think about the orphans and others who are in desperate need. - I personally do not have children. I have devoted my energy toward my education, helping relatives in need and advocating for the underpriviledged. Staying at home, playing house would be a waste of the abilities that Allah has given me.

mindspace said...

Hi Lady,
I randomly reached ur blog and guess what. I have resigned in my job just 2 days back and am coming to UAE as a 'housewife'. Was feeling terrible with the idea but after reading what u say, I feel much better.
Thank you and wish you all the best..
Tara.. from India.

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